thursday, october 31 entry owen's first halloween costume - a carrot. he slept through the trick-or-treaters, and through most of his costume photo shoot. here are some more pictures. tuesday, october 29 entry i can only say that i abhor breastfeeding. so much for the bonding and the skin-to-skin and all that stuff you hear about. it hurts and it is frustrating and i'm pretty convinced that owen hates it as much as i do. that said, i'm sticking with it, but only because i know it's best for owen. moving on, owen had his 2-week checkup with the pediatrician today. he is back to his birthweight, at 7 pounds, 5 ounces, which is exactly where he needs to be. he is in the 25th percentile for weight, and for head circumference. he is a small baby in general (as some would say, "keith just throws a small calf." you'd have to ask my parents). he is in the 50th percentile for height, though, and has grown 1/2 inch since birth. he may have inherited the giant gene from my side of the family. i was so desperately worried about his eating, but the doctor said there is nothing to worry about. he is growing, and that's the important thing. he is also having plenty of wet and dirty diapers. that helped ease some of my worries. because we are still having so many problems with nursing, my doctor sent us to a lactation consultant today. she showed us how to latch him correctly, and sat with us for about 2 hours while we fed him and weighed him and tried to teach him to move his tongue correctly. we have to do some exercises with him each day to change the way he holds his tongue. no wonder i am hurting all the time! while we were there i got this sense of hope, that maybe we could do this, that maybe i could breastfeed without pain, and without worrying that my child is starving. the funny thing is that when we got home, and i tried to feed him without two extra hands, i couldn't get him to latch correctly. we were back to the painful feedings and frustration and tears. so my sense of hope was really only false hope. and now i am back to aggravation. we have a follow-up appointment with the lactation consultant next tuesday. i have until then to try to get it right, but it is just so hard. anyway, he's growing, so i'm not really worried about him. i just would like to have a feeding where i'm not suffering. tomorrow betsy gets here. we're picking her up late tomorrow night. owen is excited to meet her. sunday, october 27 entry today is our last day having keith home on "paternity leave." he starts back at the studio tomorrow. i am so sad! i have loved being home with him and owen the last two weeks. he has helped so much, i never dreamed he would jump in like he has. he is the best daddy! i am so blessed to have him. he has already decided that he won't be working the long hours that he was before, leaving at 8AM and getting home at midnight. he's working for free, after all. so he'll be with us in the evenings and on weekends. that will be a nice change from the last year and a half or so - between school and interning, we were almost never together! that's why i've cherished these last two weeks so much. i know he's going to miss his little boy when he's gone all day. owen is officially two weeks old, as of yesterday. we were awake at 6:25AM, the time he was born. we were awake on his one week birthday, too. last night we slept not quite four hours. what a stinker. i finally did get him down to sleep (in our bed, of course), but he woke right back up with ear-splitting shrieks. he sounded like he was in terrible pain. i gave him some gas medicine, and he calmed almost immediately, but then i had to start all over again getting him to sleep. i think when we get a rocking chair, it will help a lot as far as calming him and getting him to sleep. putting him down in his own bed, well, that's a different story. he's such a cuddlebug. keith's family left this morning, and betsy arrives this wednesday. hopefully we can keep the house in some semblance of order from now until then. i don't have any big plans for betsy's visit, except we are going to take the baby up to my office. all of my co-workers want to see him, so maybe thursday we'll go up there. thinking of work kind of bums me out, because it reminds me that i'm already three weeks into my maternity leave. the time is just flying by. we are making plans to come home for thanksgiving. i can't wait for everyone to meet owen. hopefully we can stay for at least a week, maybe a little longer. i love the holidays. i think it's going to be even more fun with the little guy around to share it with this year. friday, october 25 entry new owen pics:
can i just say that i have lost 30 pounds since owen was born? that's pretty good, isn't it? of course, i have 20 more to go, but 30 is a good start. i can't really fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes just yet (because of the pouch), but my maternity clothes are huge on me. i am in that miserable in-between stage where anytime we go out, i wear sweatpants and a t-shirt, just because nothing else fits. my feet have finally gone down to their normal size, which is a plus. but i have this pouch on my stomach of extra skin and a weird deflated-balloon kind of fat in the pouch. it is that gross baby fat that you always hear new moms talking about. i don't know how to make all that skin go away. maybe it just takes time, but maybe it never leaves! the fat i can work on, the skin, well, i just don't know. anyway, i keep telling myself, 30 pounds, 30 pounds!
the night before last was one of those make-or-break nights, you know what i mean? where as soon as i laid down in the bed, i started to cry, because i love my son, but i hate getting up at night, and he continues to be a nightowl. he stays in a deep sleep most of the day, and won't sleep at night. he has also decided that he will not sleep in his bassinet, or any other place, except in the big bed with mom and dad. i never intended to co-sleep, but it seems to be the only way i can survive the nights. i pulled all of my newborn books out last night, and they all say that newborns can't be spoiled, but i'll be darned if this kid isn't spoiled! he has to be held while he sleeps, or be cuddled up with mom in the big bed. it's really hard for me to get a good sleep when i am worried about rolling on him in the night. i never move in my sleep, but that doesn't keep me from sleeping with one eye open, so to speak. anyway, i had a new-mommy breakdown where i decided not only could i not get up in the night anymore, but i couldn't breastfeed anymore because of the pain. ever. (i have since retracted this statement, spoken in the heat of the moment). so keith, in all of his new-daddy wisdom, took the baby from around 10PM until after midnight and let me sleep. it actually takes that long to get owen to sleep. i'm telling you, i have never heard of a newborn who fights sleep, but i would swear that owen does. so once he came to bed, the baby slept until about 2:30AM, and then was up to eat. again, keith took him and gave him a bottle of breastmilk so that i could sleep. around 4:00AM, the baby was fed and back to sleep, and keith came back to bed. i feel bad when he gets up with the baby, even though he offers, and really doesn't mind. and i needed the break. i felt much more calm and relaxed in the morning. sometimes i think, yeah, i can do this. and some days i think, what am i doing, i can't do this! one day at a time, you know?
tuesday, october 22
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here are some pictures we took outside on our deck tonight. owen slept through the entire process. he makes the most interesting faces while he is sleeping. he grins sometimes while he's sleeping, too. it is the cutest.
we went out to dinner tonight. we went to a little mexican place down the street. it was nice to get out of the house. owen was perfect. he didn't cry or fuss at all. he was fussy all day long, though. i don't think he felt that great. i think his stomach was bothering him. but he was great at dinner.
monday, october 21
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today is owen's due date! i am so glad he came a bit early and spared me those extra 9 days of pregnancy. it was getting so miserable!
we spent part of today working on keith's resume, until i fell asleep on the couch. i slept for around three hours. owen slept for part of that time, and keith entertained him the rest of the time so that i could sleep. i feel much better! we were going to start cleaning the house today, but that always seems to get pushed to tomorrow. my house is really suffering now that my parents are gone and the baby is here. it was so clean before owen was born! and now it is trashed. keith's mom, sister, brother, and grandma will be here on thursday night, so we have to get some of this mess picked up. i don't expect it to be spotless; we are, after all, new parents with a little baby and a little sleep. but it's kind of embarrassing as it is right now.
this morning we had our first poop explosion. i was changing owen's diaper, and he managed to get me from about a foot away. we had poop all over his clothes, the changing pad, the bedsheets, my pajamas, and the carpet. he is really a good shot. what a mess. the best part of it all is that our washing machine decided yesterday to start making some weird noise, so we can't use it until keith takes it apart and fixes it. i have all these poopy clothes sitting in shout stain spray until further notice.
saturday, october 19
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happy one week, owen!
i can't believe it has been a week since he got here! it seems like we just left the hospital. then again, i can't imagine what we did before him!
we had a rough night last night. he must be going through some sort of growth spurt, because he has decided to wake up and eat every hour and a half or two hours. just a few days ago we were waking him every three to four hours to eat, and even then, he didn't want to wake up. so we spent most of last night eating and rocking and changing poopy diapers. we took him back to the pediatrician friday morning to check his weight gain. he gained seven ounces in two days, putting him at 7 pounds, 3 ounces, almost back at his birthweight. so i felt extremely good about that. his little cheeks are getting chubby, so i knew he was gaining weight. of course, we couldn't leave the doctor's office without him wetting the entire scale and his mommy while he was getting weighed. that's one of his favorite things to do, i swear, shoot whoever's closest when his diaper is off. that or fill the diaper as soon as he gets a new one on. last night i changed him and he filled four diapers consecutively, as soon as they would touch his bottom. i was laughing so hard i woke keith up.
thursday, october 17
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Click here for an online album of recent baby pics. i'll keep adding more as we keep taking them! can't have too many pictures of this beautiful baby, you know!
we are still doing great. owen is such a good baby. mom and dad and kyle spent today at the mall, so keith and i were on our own. owen slept most of the day. he is getting a little more used to the breastfeeding, even though we have been giving him expressed milk, and even one bottle of formula. he doesn't seem to be bothered at all by the switching back and forth from breast to bottle. he sleeps like a champ, especially now that he is eating more. we are meeting tomorrow with a lactation consultant who is going to help us with the breastfeeding. i am really excited about meeting with her. i have been so frustrated with the feeding. that one bottle of formula that i gave him cost me dearly in parental guilt. i tell myself that there's no pressure if he can't figure out the breastfeeding, that he will live on formula. but i can't help but feel so guilty about supplementing. hopefully the consultant tomorrow will be able to help us out. the nurses and lactation consultants at the hospital told me that he was a "lazy sucker," and they were right. as soon as owen eats anything, he falls asleep. and then he screams like crazy if you wake him up. what a stubborn fellow! the nurses told me that owen had one of the worst tempers they had seen. "where did he get that temper?" they would ask. beats me. his dad is as cool-headed as they come, and we all know that i never lose my cool (ahem). anyway - other than the feeding, we are great. we are back to the pediatrician tomorrow to weigh him, and see if he has gained a bit of weight back since wednesday. i think he has. his little cheeks are getting chubby, and we have been working so hard to feed him. he is just truly a joy. i couldn't be happier, and i love him so much!
keith is doing so great at being a daddy. he changes, feeds (with the bottle), pumps, dresses, everything i could possibly hope for. he just kisses all over his son, and talks to him and cuddles him. they do tummy bonding time, where they take off their shirts and do chest-to-chest holding. owen loves laying on his daddy's warm chest. i have some of the cutest pictures of little naked baby with his daddy. keith even watches out for the baby in his sleep - last night around 3am i got up to feed owen. i got him fed and back in his bassinet asleep. as i was getting in the bed, keith says, "whoa, whoa, whoa!" and pushes me up. i sat up really quickly, and i said, "what?" he didn't answer, so i started to lay back down again. he yells, "whoa, whoa, whoa! stop!" and pushes me back up again. i said, "WHAT?" he says, "mommy is trying to crush the o!" and then starts feeling around to rescue the baby. i said, "the o is in his bassinet!" and keith drops back to sleep like nothing ever happened. he doesn't remember this exchange (we all know how he talks in his sleep), but i thought it was cute.
my parents and kyle are leaving tomorrow night. i can't believe it has been almost a week since i went into labor. the event was so anticipated, and then it came and went so quickly. but everything is better now, with our little boy here. he is just perfect!
i am still working on the birth story. don't give up on me yet! i am just moving a little more slowly these days. i will get it posted asap.
wednesday, october 16
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*update* owen's check-up with the doctor went just fine. of course, he has lost some weight, and we are going to watch that, but everything else looks great. the doctor kept saying how handsome he is (maybe she tells everyone that, but this time it's true). today has been a really good day. he has slept wonderfully, and is eating okay. we are definitely struggling with the breastfeeding, but we're not giving up yet. we are supplementing with formula for tonight, to give the milk factory time to catch up (too much information?).tonight my parents took us out to olive garden. it was our first real outing since last week, pre-owen. the baby was perfect, never cried or even whimpered. kyle bought owen a tennessee vols outfit. i guess i won't bring him home to arkansas in that outfit during football season! now i am off to bed. if i hurry, i can get two good hours while keith and kyle watch a movie. i love this new mom stuff.
owen's picture is on the baptist hospital website. to see him, click on the baptist hospital site and enter the following information:
user name - 57000912
password - ofoster
owen is doing fantastic. he has his first check-up with the pediatrician today. i am sure he has lost weight. we are really having a struggle with the breastfeeding. but we're not giving up yet! he is sleeping really well. last night he slept for five hours straight, and would have slept more if we hadn't wakened him to eat. he is so snuggly, and i'm afraid he's already becoming a little spoiled. he won't sleep without someone holding him! we gave in monday night and let him sleep with keith and me, but last night he did really well in his bassinet alone. i am so happy to have him. sometimes i just look at him and start to cry because he is so beautiful. i admit it, i'm a little weepy with the after-birth hormones, but come on, he's so gorgeous! we are late for the pediatrician now, so i will update more later -
monday, october 14
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owen davis foster was born saturday, october 12 at 6:25AM. he weighed 7 pounds, 5 ounces, and was 20 1/2 inches long. apgar scores were 8 and 9 - he is perfect and healthy and beautiful! click here for more pictures. birth story to follow.
thursday, october 10
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i went back to the doctor this morning. i lost a few pounds this time, which is probably due to the loss of fluid in my feet. staying home has helped so much with the swelling. my blood pressure was just fine, 128 over 78. i am dilated another centimeter, putting me at four. the baby hasn't dropped any more than he was, though. she told me it will be any day now. i don't know if i believe her anymore! the other doctor from her practice is on call this weekend, and i don't like her nearly as well as my own doctor. if i go into labor this weekend, i won't have my doctor there. i guess that's okay, since they only come in for the last few minutes, anyway. i asked her why, if i was dilated to four and effaced 50% and had already lost my mucous plug, wasn't i having this baby? she said if she knew that, she'd be a millionaire. come on, i thought doctors were supposed to know this stuff. anyway, i guess it's good that i'm not in labor just now, because the house isn't clean. i keep waiting for keith to come home to help me finish up the vaccuming, because i need help moving the couches around. but he has been at the studio super late every night this week, getting in between 11 and midnight. so maybe tonight he'll get home early enough to help me. i am getting a sense of urgency that we really need to finish cleaning the house. hopefully that's nesting talking.
and if there is no baby by thursday, then i am back to the doctor for our 39-week check-up.
tuesday, october 08
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i know what you're thinking, and yes, i am still pregnant. we are officially into week 39. less than two weeks from our due date. the anticipation is just killing me! i am feeling really good these days. even my swelling has gotten better since i have been staying home. at this point, i just want to meet my baby! last night while keith and i were reading in bed, owen got the hiccups. so we just laid there and watched my stomach move around for a while. it was so fun. i can't wait until he's born. we have so many things to see and learn about him! just hurry up already, baby!
this is officially my second day of staying home full-time. so far, it really suits me! yesterday i did some grocery shopping so that i can start freezing dinners for post-owen, and then i basically laid on the couch until dinnertime. once keith got home, we took our nightly walk, but that's about it. today looks to be even less eventful. i think i will start on some chili and stew to freeze, but that's all i have planned. and maybe i'll make extra chili for dinner tonight. the weather here is getting pretty chilly! it was 48 degrees when keith left for the studio this morning, and we're not going to hit 80 today. so chili would be good! the weather is so awesome. this is perfect weather for a baby to be born!
and if there is no baby by thursday, then i am back to the doctor for our 39-week check-up.
sunday, october 06
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what a long weekend. the days just drag on and on forever. actually, yesterday wasn't so bad, but today has been a nightmare. between football on tv all day and nothing to read or clean, i have been lost. i woke up this morning feeling extremely bad at around 4AM. i had migraine, and the accompanying body soreness and upset stomach. that lasted until around 10AM, when i finally ventured out of bed. keith was up and fixing breakfast by then (pancakes with peanut butter and chocolate chips!), so i got up gingerly and ate breakfast. the head has been pretty sore all day, but i am feeling better overall. i think my body is starting to give out one system at a time. i forget what it's like to feel normal. not much longer now, though.
yesterday was a nice day for the two of us. we had to pick up new glasses for keith, then we had a nice lunch and saw the matinee show of "sweet home alabama." i love that kind of feel-good movie. after that we browsed the olde time pottery store, and then came home to do some chores. i know keith is doing some things he normally would hate (ie the pottery store) just because it helps the time to pass for me. and we are looking at each weekend now with the thought that this could be our last baby-free weekend! i thought i would have some last minute baby things to do, but i really don't. we have everything we need! we got so much of the house cleaned last night. i got more than half of my list checked off! we did the floors, installed the new blinds, cleaned the guest and master bath, finished all the laundry, finished cleaning everything out of owen's armoire, and more. keith did all of the bathtubs and swept and mopped the floors because it is so hard on my back. he is so good.
last night around midnight i thought we were going to have to make a run to the hospital just to get checked out. i was having a lot of bloody discharge, and i was kind of worried. but i haven't seen anything like that today, and of course i can feel that owen is doing just fine. so another false alarm. i have tried and tried to talk him into coming on out, but he'll have none of it. one thing he does have, though, is the hiccups. he has them sometimes two or three times a day! getting those lungs ready, i guess.
thursday, october 03
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*update* i forgot to add this to my entry last night, but if you have any good recipes for freezing - soups, casseroles, pastas, bread, anything - please email them to me at manicotti@hotmail.com. with my new-found time off, i am going to start stocking the freezer for after owen arrives!
we had a really good doctor's appointment today. i am dilated another centimeter, bringing the grand total to three. from what my doctor says, the only thing keeping this show from happening is that the baby is still a little high. i get the feeling that as soon as he drops all the way, it's curtain time. she also told me that she doesn't think i'll go the whole two weeks and a few days until my due date. she thinks i'll go before then. she stripped my membranes today (yowza!), so that might help progress us a little. since then i have had some contractions and bleeding, but she warned me that i would. all in all, i am pleased that we are still making progress. we have picked a pediatrician now, so i feel like our ducks are in a row. except for this stinking house, which i cannot seem to clean to my liking.
we also attended our breastfeeding class tonight, and kudos to my brave husband who went along for support. i really didn't know if any other husbands would be there, but there were a few. he did great, even through the videos and the practicing on stuffed animals. kind of strange, i know, but i learned a lot. i know some people really struggle with breastfeeding, but we're going to work hard at it. a lot of the class i was distracted, trying to get through contractions. they weren't so hard that i had to concentrate and breathe through them, but they kept my attention. anyway, they seem to have stopped, so i attribute them to the membrane stripping.
tomorrow will be my last day of work. the insurance person called me tuesday and said they were authorized by my doctor to put my on full-time bedrest, and i will be paid 100% of my salary. i told her i thought it was only part-time, and that i had been working four hour days. she tsk-tsked me and said to call my doctor, which i did, but to no avail because she was out of the office until today. so at my appointment today she did say that she has authorized me to be home full time. i won't argue with her. my feet are swelling worse, and my left arm and hand have been "asleep" - that tingly feeling, you know? - for two weeks now. my doctor is worried about me developing ulcers on my feet because of the swelling. so i don't mind being home to prop them up. besides, it will give me extra time for cleaning!
so any day now. and cross your fingers that it will be tomorrow.
wednesday, october 02
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october! it's finally here! and am i crazy, or does the countdown clock say 18 days?! wow. we are really in the home stretch now. since our birthing class, i divide my time between excitement and fear. i don't think i had given any thought to the actual birthing until the class. but it is kind of starting to weigh on me now. hmm, all that pain. it's definitely scary. but i can do it. or so i say now, as i sit comfortably in my chair, pain-free. no need to dwell on it, i guess - it's going to happen at this point whether i like it or not, right? i'm just trying to focus on how excited i am to meet owen.
so far this has been a pretty uneventful week. time definitely passes more quickly now that i am only working four hours a day. the weekend, of course, always flies by. this weekend we spent all of sunday painting the music room. it looks really cool, and now it is ready for guests (it is actually the computer/music/guest room). keith told me he would paint the room himself, but i wanted to help, and i totally overworked myself. my legs were like tree trunks, and i couldn't bend them to wash my own feet. he was a little aggravated, but i really wanted to help. anyway, i paid for it on monday with total exhaustion. when i got home from work, i laid down in the floor to play with dante' for a minute, and i ended up sleeping for about four hours. in the floor. with the dog.
i have been trying to use my extra time each day to get the house in tip-top shape. i can't seem to focus, though, long enough to get anything substantial finished. like two nights ago, i was going to clean the kitchen really well. so i got the dishes done and needed to clear the counter of some of owen's things. i took them to his room, and put them up. while i was in there, i noticed that i needed to dust and organize his armoire. so i worked on the armoire, then i went to get the dust rag. on the way back to his room, i got sidetracked in the living room when i noticed that it needed dusting, and i was already there with the dust rag in my hand. so that's how it goes. a little of each room gets done each day. hopefully at some point i will get everything cleaned for the baby and for all the company we are expecting.
a sad thing happened at keith's studio yesterday. they have a dog who lives at the studio named stitches. she is a beautiful cocker spaniel, and i always play with her when i go over. she just lays on the porch and loves people. but yesterday, ffh ran over her. keith said they didn't even know they did it. they were leaving, and they hit her, and she only lived for another minute before she died. when i say ffh, i mean the contemporary christian group, for those of you who aren't familiar. keith told me when he got home, and i was so sad. she was an older dog, like 7 or 8 years old, and she never goes in the road, but yesterday she did, and she got hit. i think ffh will be sad when they find out. i just love dogs, and that is so sad to me.
tomorrow is our 38-week checkup, and our breastfeeding class. i am hoping and praying and crossing all fingers and toes that i am still progressing, as far as dilation goes. i have been walking around the block almost every day, trying to help it out. and last night i jumped up and down a lot to see if i could make any more progress. i don't think that worked. i'm getting desperate. a lady at my work swears that a couple of cans of creamed corn will send anyone into labor. i can't believe it, but i am almost desperate enough to try it! i said almost - i really hate creamed corn. i will update after the appointment tomorrow.
