Sunday, October 31 entry Happy Halloween from the Fosters!
We took the boys to a local fall festival at a church, and it was great. It was as big as a fair! Lots of blow-up games, free drinks and fair food, live music, and a special tent just for preschoolers. Everything was free. In the preschool tent, Owen had his face painted, decorated a cookie, watched a puppet show, played tons of games, and got tons of candy. We had Cokes and popcorn and cotton candy, and he slid down a huge blow-up slide. He freaked out when they put him on it, though, and I had to go down with him. I'm too old for this, I tell you. He got lots of compliments on his outfit, which can probably be attributed to his natural cuteness, but he did look rather adorable in his scarecrow costume, which I made for $4 (except the hat, which was the $4). He wore the hat until about halfway through the night, when he needed to get serious about playing, and it was getting in the way. He had a great time, and Ari was a perfect angel. I liked it too, and who can beat totally free? We went to Chinese food after that, and both the boys were really good, although the waiter dressed up like a skeleton kind of freaked Owen out. We had a really great evening. More pictures here. Saturday, October 30 entry To record them before I forget, some recent Owen stories:
On the way home from the sitter's the other day, I asked him what he had for snack. "Puppies," he said. I asked him if he was sure that he ate puppies, and he said he was sure. He wouldn't change his story with any amount of arguing.
He asked me while we were driving in the car, "Mom, what's this thing?" Since I was driving I couldn't see what he was talking about, so I told him I didn't know, and that we'd look at it later when we got home. He kept asking and asking, and I had no clue what he was pointing at. Finally he said, "Oh, it's a sprinkle." I still didn't know what he meant, but he seemed satisfied. When we got home, I asked him to show me the sprinkle, and he pointed to the one freckle on his arm. Then he looked at my arms and said, "Oh, Mom! You got sprinkles everywhere!"
Thursday morning I was washing my breastpump parts. He pulled the funnels off the counter and said, "These for boobies?" I told him yes, and he said, "These for my boobies?" I told him no. Undeterred, he pulled up his shirt and pushed the funnels against his chest for a few seconds. Then he looked at me, sadly, and said, "Mom, that not working."
I bought Keith a little carton of eggnog at Wal-Mart, because he loves eggnog. Owen asked for a drink of Keith's milk, which was actually eggnog. Keith gave him a drink. He said, "What's that?" Eggnog, we told him. "I LOVE EGGNOG!" he shouted. I've taken Owen to two Halloween events so far. His library storytime on Thursday night was a dress-up event, so he wore his lion costume and the kids trick-or-treated around the library. Owen sweated profusely the entire time in his big fur costume, but he had fun. Then Friday night I took the boys to Wal-Mart to trick-or-treat. This time Owen only wore a Halloween t-shirt instead of his costume, because he was so sweaty in it. We went to all the different departments and he got quite a bit of candy. He was so excited. I let him walk, instead of ride in a cart like he always has in Wal-Mart. It was funny to see him observing Wal-Mart from a new angle. "Shoes everywhere! Lots of yellow ones!" he observed in the shoe department. "What's those? Kind of like wheels?" in the tire section. He got some really good candy, too, which has been a struggle between us ever since. He thinks he should be able to eat it all day, whenever he wants, even for breakfast. I'm more apt to give him four M&Ms after lunch and maybe a Dum-Dum later after dinner. And that's me feeling really generous. I don't think he needs candy, but the trick-or-treating part is fun. I think we're going to take him to a church Fall Festival thing on Sunday night. Keith's off, so it will be much easier than the Wal-Mart thing, which was just me and both boys.
I took Ari to Vanderbilt on Wednesday to their Constipation Clinic (it's actual name). His pediatrician wanted to make sure that his bowels were normal, since he only poops every seven days or so. He said it could either be a condition that would require that they remove a section of his intestines, or nothing at all. Nice options. After a quick exam and taking his history, the doctor at Vanderbilt said he felt that it was just Ari's normal schedule to go every seven days. He didn't have any other symptoms that would point to intestinal or colonic problems. He did a rectal exam which really ticked Ari off, but that's it. No barium enema, no x-rays or anything, which is what I was prepared for. Basically he said to assume Ari's just fine, and keep an eye on him, but it's probably normal for him. That was great news. I tell you, I hate going to Vanderbilt. I've only been once before, but everytime I have to go, I feel like the luckiest person alive. In the waiting room with Ari, all the other babies had permanent tubes up their noses, were walking with walkers, or had pieces of the skulls bandaged or missing. It was so sad, and I felt so blessed to be there with my healthy baby. My heart goes out to those parents. I can't imagine having a baby in pain all the time, or not knowing their future prognosis. It was really heart-breaking. I tell you, I am so blessed with my boys.
Right now, amazingly enough, both boys are asleep. I cannot believe it. Ari has been asleep for about three hours, and it's been the best three hours I've had in a while. His sleep pattern is so erratic, he hasn't really napped in two days. So I'm glad he's finally getting some sleep in. And since they're both asleep, I've uploaded some pictures from our trip home, and a few miscellaneous ones. They are here. Tuesday, October 26 entry It's been ages since I updated, I know. I've been overwhelmed by the 80-plus pictures on the camera, and too scared to know where to begin downloading! But I have a few minutes this morning, so hopefully I'll make it through without Ari waking up.
We had a great trip home for Owen's birthday and Ari's dedication. The actual driving part was pretty horrendous, but the visit itself was great. I can say that I don't look forward to making that drive with the babies again anytime soon. Especially the trip back, when Owen was feeling sick and Ari screamed for what seemed like several hours. We had two parties for Owen, where he received an enormous crop of toys and clothes, all of which he loves and paws through every night now that we're home.
Since we've been home, Ari has turned 2 months old. We celebrated by getting his shots, five needles in all, and to say he was unhappy is the understatement of the century. He currently weighs 13 pounds, 1 ounce and is 23.25 inches long. I question that length number, since they just lay him on paper and mark his head and heels. I could see very plainly that he was not laying straight out, but his knees were curled up. I would venture a guess that he is longer than 23.5 inches. He is in the 75th percentile for weight, at any measure, and I actually thought he'd be higher, because he really seems big. I checked our records for Owen, and at 2 months, he was 13 pounds, 4 ounces and 23.25 inches long. So he and Ari are almost the exact same size at 2 months. Interesting.
I have only four more weeks until I return to work. Bittersweet, for sure. I sometimes feel stuck in the house with no adult interaction, so I won't mind being out and about a little bit, but I will miss all my time spent with the boys. At least this time I know and love their sitter, whereas last time with Owen, I had just met her. She is so good to the boys, though, and Owen loves going over there. I know she'll be great with Ari. It's so nice to have someone that we totally trust take the boys into her home and care for them. I don't like big daycares, and I certainly wouldn't have wanted the boys in one. That's just my personal opinion. So back to insurance broking in a few weeks, underwriting and financials and etcetera. And back to Red Devil.
Now that we're home and settled, and all the laundry is done, things are back to normal and relatively calm. Ari seems to be growing and changing by leaps and bounds, every day is a little different. He is so alert and looking around at everything. He is getting a little bit chubby, which changes the way he looks. He is a lot less fragile now, seemingly, which allows for more interaction with Owen. Last night Owen wanted to hold Ari, and I sat him in Owen's lap on the couch. Owen nuzzled into Ari's neck and said, "I hug Ari!" and it was the cutest thing ever. It made me happy to think that they will grow up as best friends, and be around for each other for the rest of their lives. Owen doesn't have any understanding of the future, that Ari will eventually grow and be able to play with him, but I keep reminding Owen that someday his brother will be big and then they can play cars and blocks together, and that they will be friends. I can't wait for that day.
I have cut down the 80-plus pictures from our visit home into 20, and I intend to upload them later today. For now I have to give up the computer, as Keith needs to work on some school stuff. I hope to stay up to date and recent from now on, and Kyle, I'll email those pictures to you hopefully tonight. And P.S. Ari is already awake. Saw that coming. Wednesday, October 13 entry Yesterday was the big day! Owen turned two. I was kind of an emotional wreck leading up to it, but we had such a fun day. It was raining outside, so our pumpkin patch and park plans were ruined, but we still had a blast. We got him a couple of small gifts, just so he could have something to open on the actual day of his birthday, but most of his gifts will come this weekend. We got him a Titans hat, a Laa-laa doll, a Mr. Potato Head, and some little gummy candy bugs. He seemed to like all of the gifts. After presents, we ate breakfast then headed to the library for Storytime. We usually go on Thursday nights, so the Tuesday morning crowd was all different. It was all the stay-at-home moms with their little trendy 2-year olds in ponchos and Tommy. But we had fun, made a craft, sang songs, saw puppets. We went to the sitter's after that to drop off Ari, and she had decorated her porch with balloons and Happy Birthday streamers. She had gifts for Owen inside. After we dropped off Ari, we went to McDonald's where we stayed for about two hours. Owen climbed all through the tubes (he can do most of it himself now!) and rode all the slides. We dropped Keith off so he could go to work and then Owen and I went to Old Navy before picking up Ari. Owen conked in the car on the way home, and I carried him into his bed. He napped until almost 7PM (about 2 hours) when I finally woke him up for dinner. He says he had a fun day. I loved spending the time with him. I love Ari, but I miss my one-on-one time with Owen. There are pictures here.
On Monday I stopped in to the hospital to meet with the lactation consultant. She weighed Ari, and he is now 11 pounds, 6 ounces. So he's gained 2 pounds in the last 4 weeks. She said that's great, but after talking it over, she does think I have a low milk supply, for various reasons. She gave me some additional herbs (I take a 12-pill cocktail 4 times a day) and some pumping techniques to try, but she said it's very possible that we'll have to eventually supplement with formula. This really surprised me, as most lactation consultants are so militant about breastfeeding. I liked that she was encouraging, yet realistic. Part of our problem is that Ari is so big, most women don't need the amount of milk that I need until around 12 weeks, and he's only 7 weeks old. He needs more milk to sustain his size. There are some physical reasons, too, but will leave out details for the sake of my male readers and family members who just don't want TMI. Anyway, I definitely was relieved that he is gaining weight. And I feel better knowing that I'm not crazy, and I can only do so much, and I'm doing all I can do, and etc. So hopefully I can rest easier on that issue.
Also regarding Ari, I moved him into his bassinet a few nights ago. It's working out great. He sleeps just fine in it, better, actually, I think. And I love having my bed back. For so many weeks I've been squished between him and Keith! Now I can finally move around and use covers and be comfortable. It's kind of scary putting him in his own bed, because I can't hear and feel him breathing all night long, but it's for the best.
Last week we got rid of the dogs. We put them in the paper and two very nice families came and got them. Today the couple who got Dante' called. They want to bring him back. I am so ticked. They said they need to bring him back because "it's raining and his paws are so muddy, and we think he's bigger than we wanted." Funny, he was the same size on Sunday when you took him! Their reasons sound pretty stupid to me. He has only been there 3 days; I can't imagine that he has adjusted yet. But if they don't want him, I'd rather just take him back than have them mistreat him. Gabe's owner hasn't called again; hopefully that arrangement will work out. So Dante' should be home sometime this afternoon. It was nice while it lasted.
Keith missed his first class today. He was sick and throwing up. He went to his other two classes, and on to work, but he's still not feeling 100%. He had a big test today, and he is exhausted and stressed, and I think it got to his stomach. I tried to get him to call into work sick so he could lay down and rest, but he wouldn't do it. Five years of marriage and he's never taken a sick day, literally. Pretty good record. But he needs to rest. Hopefully this weekend he can rest some.
Last week I lost by one point on my football picks. I picked Houston over Minnesota, stupid I know, but I thought they had the heart to pull out a win. It was close, but they couldn't do it, and I lost. I'm still ahead overall by 4 points. Thank goodness the Titans won Monday night. I was starting to really worry. I got Owen a Titans hat and diaper bag for his birthday. I would love it if he played football. He definitely loves ball, that's for sure. During the game Monday night, they interviewed Steve McNair and he said that his nickname is Monk. Now if that isn't a sign, I don't know what is (Owen's nickname is also Monk). We will have to miss the Titans game this Sunday since we'll be home in Arkansas. Will be TiVoing, that's for sure.
Speaking of Arkansas, we leave in two days. I need to get packing. Sounds like the weather there is cooling off. Owen's party is planned for the park, but if it's too chilly, we'll have to implement Plan B. The scary part is, there is no Plan B! Whoops.
Finally, here are some miscellaneous cute pictures of the boy, lots of Ari this time, doing his little baby smile. Saturday, October 09 entry I am waiting for the lactation consultant to call me back. I've been calling her for two days. My milk supply is dwindling, even though I am nursing or pumping every two to three hours. Ari needs to eat between four and five ounces every three hours. I am only producing two to three ounces every three hours. He is hungry. He is crabby, restless, skinny. I am drinking fluids, taking herbal remedies, doing everything I know to do to improve milk supply. To no avail. I am so frustrated with breastfeeding. Isn't this something that the body is supposed to know how to do naturally? Why am I such a failure at it? Owen only nursed for about 6 weeks, and Ari is only 7 weeks old. I am still able to feed him solely breast milk, but I have to dip into my frozen stash to keep him happy. The frozen stash which is dwindling, almost gone. You cannot imagine what an unbelievable sense of failure I have. I cannot imagine what I am doing wrong, why I can't figure this out. Or why the lactation consultant won't call me back. I'm hoping she can direct me to some sort of medical drug that can improve milk supply. I know that there are such drugs; I've heard stories of adoptive mothers taking them in order to breastfeed their adopted child. I am willing to take drastic measures to make this work. I am tired of failing at this. I failed with Owen, and now starting to feel the pressure with Ari. As much as I hate breastfeeding, I hate not breastfeeding even more.
Wednesday afternoon my friend Mary Ann came over, with her daughters. Her oldest is seven, and her little one was born two days after Ari. I couldn't believe how chunky her newborn was. She was so much chunkier than Ari, even though she was two full pounds lighter than him at birth. Also, Mary Ann is able to pump so much breast milk, she could feed quintuplets. I wonder more and more if Ari isn't getting the nutrition he needs. No wonder he cries all the time, no wonder he won't sleep. At his 1-month check-up, he was only up 2 ounces from his birth weight. Mary Ann's little one was up a full three pounds. I know that every baby is different, and Ari doesn't necessarily need to be chunky to be healthy, but I feel like he's hungry, and I feel like I'm not able to provide for him. Doomed, I tell you.
And all this after spending $260 on a breastpump.
I wish the lactation consultant would just call me back. And now my baby is screaming and rubbing his little face into his blanket over and over, and he needs me. I have some pictures to upload; will try to do that tomorrow. Saturday, October 02 entry Funny how a pink and purple Tennessee fall evening makes me introspective. And makes me ache for my extended family and for Betsy. I miss my loved ones. I love Tennessee, and I love my boys, but I sure miss my network of friends and family. Summer 2006 cannot come soon enough!
As promised, I uploaded some new pictures. They are here and there are some funny ones of Owen.
We went to Sam's this morning and spent an unbelievable amount of money on diapers. $75 to diaper both boys for about two weeks. Apparently I need a second job until Owen is potty-trained.
I went to my OB/GYN yesterday for my post-partum checkup, and all is well. He didn't ask me about my feelings, or if I've had any baby blues, or anything like that. I had expected him to, but he just did the physical exam and sent me on my way. Well enough, anyway. I don't think I would have told him anything. The only bad thing to come from this appointment is that they weighed me, and I've got 25 baby pounds to lose. That is like a mountain of fat to overcome. I hate that we're coming home to visit while I've still got the extra weight, but what can you do? It'll go away eventually.
Ari has thrush. I found it last night when he was sticking his bottom lip out for sympathy. He has white blisters on his lips, and cottage-cheese looking bumps on his inner cheeks. I called his pediatrician and got some medicine called in, but I think I've already got it from him. Everything I've read online says that thrush causes "excruciating pain" to the nursing mother, so I'm looking forward to that. In fact, I think a lot of mothers end up giving up breastfeeding because they keep passing the thrush back and forth from breast to baby. Hopefully we caught it in time.
And speaking of nursing, I am now absolutely sure that there is something wrong with my milk supply. I've been pumping, per doctor's orders, since Ari has thrush, and I can only pump about 2 or maybe 3 ounces at a time, when he should be eating at least 4 ounces each feeding. No wonder he is crabby and doesn't sleep, he's probably starving. I'm going to talk to his pediatrician about any drugs he can give me to increase my milk. I know they make them, and I'm already taking all the herbal remedies I know of (fenugreek and some vitamins). There must be an answer to my never-ending problems with breastfeeding.
We bought Owen a pumpkin today at Sam's. He loves pumpkins now, not sure why. I think on his birthday we're going to take Ari to the sitter's for a few hours and take Owen to the pumpkin patch. We took him last year, and even though he was too young to remember it, he loved it. We wandered through a corn maze, petted all the little farm animals, and bought a little pumpkin. I think he will absolutely love it this year. Fall birthdays are so cool. The weather is perfect right now for outdoor activities, his favorite thing ever.
I can't believe he is less than two weeks away from turning two years old. I am going to be weepy, I can already tell. Will try to post my usual birthday message to him, but I think I'll be too emotional and it will be all sappy and silly.
Ari is wearing his Ralph Lauren outfit today, all blue and green, and he is the cutest Soc baby ever (The Outsiders reference, for anyone who missed it, which is probably everyone except my mother).
Owen is gearing up for his big second birthday. I don't think he understands fully what's going to happen, but when I say, "Who's having a birthday?" he says, "Me! I gonna be two!" Or sometimes he says that he will be "blue two" or "purple two." I have no idea what that means, but it sounds fun. He also knows that he will be getting presents, and that the brownie mixes in the kitchen are for his birthday. He knows that he will be seeing Meme and Poppy and Nini and Kyle, and he keeps asking for Alex, even though I can't guarantee that one (To insert a funny story here, I showed Owen a picture of Kyle and asked him who it was. He said it was Alex. I told him no, it was Kyle. He thought about that for a minute and said, "Oh. That's kind of like Alex." It was funny.). I'm probably even more excited than he is. It's so fun to watch him open presents, or experience new things. This will be new for him, because I know he doesn't remember anything about last year's party. So I'm really excited. There's a lot of work to be done when we get to Arkansas to get everything ready, but I can't wait. I know he's going to have so much fun. Less than a week until we're headed home. His actual birthday is Tuesday, and Keith and I are going to spend the day with him. Ari is going to the sitter's, and we're taking Owen first to story time at the library, then to the pumpkin patch to spend the morning. Then we'll take him for lunch at McDonald's (quite a treat for him). I know he'll love the pumpkin patch. He is suddenly in love with pumpkins and scarecrows, which he calls 'guys.' I love this age, even the Terrible Twos part, which I definitely believe he's coming in to. Maybe I love it so much because it is starkly juxtaposed every day against Ari's newborn stage. And don't get me wrong, I love Ari, and he is so cute, and his little coos and smiles make my heart pitter-patter and I get all smushy inside. But being able to carry on a conversation with your child, find out what he needs or wants, having him sleep through the night, that's fabulous.
