Alright, so my first complaint is about the food. Who decided that flake food is the way to go? Do you like flaky? 'Cause I've just about had it up to here with flaky. That, and it comes at the most erratic times. Sometimes - first thing in the morning. Light floods my vision and - immediately - food! dropping from the sky! floatin with its (lack of) flaky goodness! Oh man, and there are these other guys around, they just dive for it and I'm lucky if there are even crumbs left. Taste just like flakes - 'cept I gotta eat more of them just to get along. I mean, it's not like I really wanted it, but this little guy's gotta eat sometime to survive. Anyway, but there are times when the light's been on for practically a quarter of my day and, food? NO.
It's like I'm being tested. In fact - I am. There's some sort of mind experiment going on here because there's one guy, he licks the glass - and likes it! It's like I'm being tempted. Some big eye in the sky is saying 'you got a problem with flakes, buddy? Why don't you try some photosynthetic-licious products for a day, then we'll see how much complaining you wanna do.'
Actually, sometimes the big eye does show up. There are two, sometimes more. Big ugly thing - all dry and static-y, but very good about not tapping the glass, so I don't say much.
Plus living quarters are cramped and I have to share them with 5 other guys and all the plants are fake and the floor is covered in algae. Some people have no sense of cleanliness.
I had one buddy in here. Bright yellow fella, a little bigger than me. Real girly-looking if you ask me. I mean, sure, not everyone thinks purple is a masculine color, but I pull it off alright. Unfortunately this buddy of mine, I call him Yellow-Head for short, wasn't really a chatty bloke, so I gave him the occasional friendly nip in the tailfin. He seemed to like it, so when he started avoiding me I kept at it to remind him of the good times we had.
Well, this morning, my buddy did not share in the excitement of Flake Time. I thought that was a little odd - he's gotta eat too, ya know. So I started looking around and, lo and behold, there's Yellow-Head, laying upside down on the gravel.
Which is odd, really. I thought the dead ones floated.