Ffej experienced an unusual birth in the rainforests of South America and was raised by a
rhinocerous tribe in Madagascar, where he relocated in 1856 due to its warm climate and
abundance of plantaines.  He joined a band upon his arrival in Madascar, called Going Apeshit,
with a group of chimpanzees.  Ffej and his bandmates eventually created the genre known today
as "Jungle" music, or Jungle Beat.  The group enjoyed modest success in Africa for three years,
until their lead chest beater died in a bizarre accident involving a vine, a tree, and 240 bananas.
Distraught about their band mate's death, Ffej and Going Apeshit disbanded in 1861.  The rest
of the band withdrew from the music industry, but Ffej continued to perform, both solo and
with his new band, Bananarama (coincidentally the name of a famous female pop group from the 1980s),
and gained a dedicated following of upright primates by touring Africa and South America.  During
their African tour of 1868 with Elephant Stampede, Ffej was attacked by a group of angry primates
for not playing any hit songs from his first band, Going Apeshit, and was pelted with several pounds of fecal matter.
Frightened and somewhat embarassed about the situation, Ffej became a recluse, retiring to a cave
in the Himalayan Mountains.  There he lived for about five decades, in seclusion, with nothing more
than his percussive implements and an unlimited supply of mountain goat milk.  After a spiritually enlightening
meeting with George Harrison of the Beatles during a peyote trance, Ffej emerged from his self-imposed
prison and immersed himself into the current music scene.  After some session work with Mott the Hoople
Strawberry Alarm Clock, and Canned Heat, Ffej formed a prototype heavy metal band called
Monkey Don't, who recorded three classic albums in the early 70's and influenced
an entire generation of headbangers and metalheads.  Though the popularity of the band reached a pinnacle
in 1975, the group went on hiatus, never to return to the music scene.  Ffej recorded a few solo
albums, most notably Spank Me, Baby, which spawned the number one hit "Doctor Spankenstein."
Several years went by, and Ffej lived off the success of his one hit song, selling it to numerous
automobile commercials and performing in Las Vegas and Atlantic City.  In 2001, Ffej decided it was
time to wind down his career, so he joined Right Turn Clyde with Tommy Freese and Eddie Mace after
auditioning in a diaper and crying until they let him join the group.  They soon acquired Rich Readinger
and began rehearsing in earnest in Tommy's basement.  Since Ffej and Tommy didn't possess the same vocal range
they had duing their more youthful days, they recruited lead singer Jeremy Marquette, who had spent
the previous seven years riding from town to town on his Harley performing at open mic nights across the
United States.  "The band is now complete!"  said Ffej whilst beating his chest.