Micky sat on the floor, in the middle of the pad, surrounded by pieces of wood covered in fake wood laminate, nuts, bolts and the tool box. He was poring over a large piece of paper which had the English instructions for putting together the shelving unit he had just bought.
"Ok, I can do this. Wood A, is screwed to wood C, using bolt one and nut two." Putting down the instructions he picked up the largest plank and the smallest. He glanced at the paper, and held them together at a right angle while he search for the nuts and bolts. "This can't be right..." he frowned staring at the small bolt and large nut. "Maybe if I use nut three..."
A little while later, Mike ambled in the front door. He threw his set of keys onto the table and was about to get something to eat when he saw Micky, engulfed by what looked like an abstract sculpture made by an ametur carpenter. "Micky, what are you doing?"
"Putting togther this shelving unit," he replied as he screwed another panel in place.
"THAT'S a shelving unit? Are you sure?" Mike asked as he came closer, peering intently at it.
"Of course I'm sure! Look." Micky pointed out the shelves.
"And we're supposed to put things ON that?" Mike looked down at the instructions. "Micky, it's not even straight, man."
"It is too!" He placed the hammer on a panel. "See, it's straight. The hammer's not moving."
Mike looked at it. "Well, it wouldn't would it? The hammer is heavy." Mike picked up a few bolts and put them next to the hammer. The bolts prompty slid off.
"Ok, so maybe it's not perfectly straight..."
"You've got the instructions upside down."
Micky looked over. "No they're not."
"Yes they are, see, wood A is supposed to go into wood B first, connected by nut and bolt three." Mike pointed out the diagram.
"No, that's wood D and E," Micky said as he gestured to the picture on the box.
"How can they be D and E? They're not even the same size! Here," Mike started unscrewing things. "This is supposed to go that way, and those screws fit in that hole."
"But C won't fit into B if you put A into D." Micky stabbed his finger at the instructions.
"That's the whole point, Micky."
"And what about E? E is supposed to go into F."
"F? What F? There is no F," Mike frowned.
"Look. Right there. F. It's as plain as that tie you're wearing."
"What's wrong with my tie?" Mike looked down at the thin brown tie he was wearing.
"Oh, there's nothing WRONG with it, if you think brown is a colour worth wearing..." Micky said as he began attaching wood C to wood B.
"Brown is a perfectly good colour to wear. At least I'm able to colour co-ordinate."
"Are you implying that I don't have a good fashion sense?"
"That's EXACTLY what I'm implying, fuzzy," Mike retorted as he pulled wood A completly free of the whole structure.
"Well, STORK, at least I can get a girlfriend!"
"Hey, I have no trouble getting a girlfriend," he snatched a piece of shelving from Micky. "I just have standards."
"I have standards, thankyouverymuch!" Micky snatched it back. "The girls just come FLOCKING to me."
"Yeah, after they've been with Davy first," Mike muttered as he bolted wood C to wood E.
"What?" Micky asked incredulously. " I do not take left overs!"
"Really? What was Veronica then? Second course?"
"Second course?!" Micky repeated, his voice cracking. "I'll have you know that Veronica Hill did not come to me from Davy."
"Oh, she left that detail out when she told you you were her first?" Mike took the screwdriver from Micky.
"She..." Micky looked up at Mike. "How did you know that I was her first? Have you been spying on me?"
"Oh no, I haven't been spying on you, Mick. It's just that Davy and Peter were her first as well."
"They... What? The little..." Micky picked up the hammer and forced a bolt into a slightly too small hole.
"Yeah man, she had you all wrapped around her little finger. I knew her for what she was though."
"You did huh? Well bully for you, Mr. 'I Know Everything' Nesmith. At least she has decent taste in men."
"Of course she does. She said I was the best she ever had." Mike smirked as he attached the last piece of wood to the unit.
"There. I told you you were doing it all wrong."
Micky stared open-mouthed at Mike, speechless for once. Mike patted him on the cheek a couple of times before loping upstairs. Micky watched him, shaking his head in disbelief. That was the last time he'd let Mike help him put a shelving unit together.