02.20.02: Dozhd' i Domashnaya. That, sir, is Russian-talk for "Rain and Homework." That's what today has been so far. What we have here is a dichotomous relationship between good and evil. I love days like today, when you wake up and there's not much sun. It's almost noon now, and it's still as dim outside as the late evening, and that is just flat out cool. Another irritating irony is that as much as I do enjoy rainy days, I am never equipped for them. I own no umbrella. I have tried to buy an umbrella up here in the Tate Center one day, and that is a story in itself. I realize that my readers are a, shall we say, heterogeneous mixture of people, but let's face it. You can all be boiled down to one of two types: those who have heard my umbrella story and those who will hear my umbrella story. I'll make it short so that we can serve both crowds. It was raining that day. I hope that you would guess that, but I am a man of background information and needless explanation. Anyway, it was on a game day; the worst kind of day. I was job-hunting. I didn't want to be wet. The bookstore was closed until the game was over: half an hour. No problem--gameroom closeby. Played video game. Went back to bookstore. No umbrellas. Asked for help. And now, reviewing my actions, that was probably my biggest mistake. I could have left there thinking that they didn't deal in the umbrella business. But what they told me was that they didn't sell umbrellas on game days. Why, you may ask? Because I might take it into the stadium during the game...which is over. It might be helpful to note that I was wearing green plaid and khakis, which bears no resemblance to red and black whatsoever. Even if a person is completely, entirely colorblind, perceiving their world in monochrome...and even if this hypothetical person were as intoxicated as possible...they could not have mistaken me for someone who was involved in the sports activities relating to the stadium. And yet: "You're not going into the stadium, are you?" And this was the manager that the person had gotten to help with my question. I wanted to respond with something more like, "Oh, why, um, the stadium? No, why, er, should I want to go to, y'know, there?" or maybe, "What stadium?" or maybe just simply, "Yes." But I needed an umbrella. So I just said, "No." Both the employee and the manager blinked at me for a moment or two. Then the manager told me that, nevertheless, they still don't sell umbrellas on game days. Whereupon I grabbed the closest blunt object, in this case a three-ring binder, and proceeded to bludgeon the unholy living crap out of both of them. Oh wait, no, that's the end of some other story. Actually, the manager walked away and as I was trying with some futility to reason with the employee, these two fairly attractive blonde twins (of the female sort) come and take him each by an arm. All three of them began to stare at me, bewildered at my presence. Why was this person in this store, and why is he in front of us? And why isn't he wearing red and black? Looking back, I don't suppose I can answer the first two of those questions. I took my leave of them. So anyway, that's why I don't have an umbrella. I have so much Russian homework that it's not even zabavniy. Rain just isn't homework-doing weather. But then, neither is a bright, sunny, warm day either. I think good homework weather would entail something right in the middle for me, something that is strictly between 61.003058 and 61.003059 degrees Fahrenheit. All else is bad homework weather. Going to watch Rent tonight. I am warned that it contains adult themes. I'll remind that person where I work: the center of America's mindless passive entertainment industry. ;-) Ta-ta. -stub out-