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3.10.02: Return to the Tin Can You might remember one of the first newsposts, and a relationship I drew between the way I was feeling and the way a tin can attached by a string to the back of a muchly moving car feels. I've been sort of ill the past week, not quite so bad as that last time, but I'm not loving every second of it. It's been a veritable roller coaster of academia, health, and mental well-being the past week. You've heard of Murphy's Law, I'm sure, and while it was quite so much in effect, Stub's Friends' Law has been. Not familiar with that one? That's the law which states that the amount of work one has to do is often equal with the amount of non-work that Stub's friends make him do. And no, I'm not blaming the friends, who may read that with some disdain--I am merely blaming the laws of physics, specifically this one. An effect commonly experienced in conjunction with the Stub's Friends' Law is known as the Holy Crap, I Can't Believe It's Sunday Night Already, I Really Need to Study Factor. Studies suggest that having something resembling a life can exert considerable influence over the said Factors and Laws. Some time ago, I wrote an entry for this news page business and never got around to posting it. This was in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, where there are cookies. 02.23.02: Socks. As I write this, I'm sitting upstairs in a house in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. It's got two cats, and one of them is really shy, black with white feet, named Socks. I would refer to it as a him or a her accordingly, but for some reason I've always believed that all cats are in fact female. I never really confronted the obvious problem to which this leads us, namely that of feline reproduction. Maybe I figured they just layed their cat eggs in those sandy so-called "litter boxes." Or maybe there is some kind of cat farm where you pick the suckers off trees that shed lots of hair in the fall. Coincidentally, I came into possession of a number of socks today, which is to say, the real kind (I had only brought with me the ones I was/am wearing). Speaking of my apparel, I've got a bone to pick with the fashion industry, and I realized it today. I suppose I'm just too picky about the pants that I wear, because they must fit a number of specifications: 1) big, 2) cover at least 70 percent of my shoe's surface area, 3) wide-legged, 4) be $30 or less. The first three, it might interest you to note, are the same, in different words. That, ladies and gentlemen, is a little number I like to call the Power of Rhetoric, and it has something to do with a bartering transaction that some of you may recall. One party was stuck with a Gateway 350, and I made off with the brownies. I still cackle with a grinchy smile full of wickedry when I think of that day. Anyhow, the fourth criterion is a universal for me, in that all garments that I purchase must be $30 or less. And that, sir, is why I shop at Payless Shoe store. But back to pants. These rules are tough for the garment industry to meet, and this is precisely why I own not one but two pair of pants; also, I intend to wear them until the day I die. I plan to still be wearing KickWear and Breakdown (for those are the two brands represented by my two-pant populous) even when I am like 85 years old, provided that I don't find any other pants by that point that meet all four of my criteria. Some around the Myers community can testify to one of my schemes, the one about the fashion line (of clothing, that is. Clothing fashion.) I could go into fashion design, and I would sure as beans do it, too. The only thing is, I couldn't be one of those regular shirt and pants designers. Oh no. Hot Topic would fear the punkiness of my clothing designs. If there's one thing the fashion industry just doesn't know, it's that the key to clothing design is spikes and denim, my boy, spikes and denim--just sayin'. We'll see The Lost Boys brought to life yet, oh yes we will. So, yeah, that's the kind of thing that North Carolina makes you think about, I guess. On a side note, I apologize for the accursed pop-up ads and banners on this site. It is beyond my control for the moment, but when I forcibly take over Earth, I will repay NSYNC and Wireless webcam companies for asserting themselves into your notice. Oh, yes, I will. Pax. -stub out- |
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