What are you doing in my darkness?

I've never seen you here before

You say you hide in the shadows

But I think you want to believe that yourself

You should before I can.

My darkness is an ugly place

Less beautiful than the place of the child

More beautiful than the face of the hunchback

but still he can reach for the stars when I only aim up

with no direction or intent

but to escape.

Not always can you find me here

amongst the tears and painful screams of those whose loved

are long ago lost to the world ahead

But sometimes I slip on the edges and tumble down

to the well-worn place where I curl up to sleep

To sleep and to die,

To die alone.

Are you trying to save me from my darkness?

Long ago I still remember how they tried

How their pitiless struggles ended

with the dying hope they held, dying with my eyes.

I remember a lot while I pine away

The memories of a happy past with all i ever wanted beside me

I can place the love of a brother

still I sense the warmth of a mother's touch

and in my darkest moments when the cloud covers the sky

I wonder if the warmth was too much.

How often was I loved more

than the tree that was culled for heat

to provide amongst others a firey glow to their faces

when I never provided at all?

Should I rather stay quiet alone in my shell

the shell of the years I lost back then

and now, in my darkness, remember the loss once

Then curl up to sleep again.