Prisoners of Fate

"Flight 209 to New York City, now boarding......."

Antonio and Gabi's faces were burning red as they stared at the handcuffs that bound them together, absolutely mortified.

Antonio: Officer, please, th-there's gotta be some kind of horrible mistake!!

Security Guard: Yeah...and I bet it was just a mistake when the Sunset Beach Police Department notified the Airport Security HQ of your transferal, Mr. and Mrs. Torres.

Gabi: Wait, wait, you don't understand, we're not---

Security Guard: Going to dupe the nice guard like the con-artists you are? That's right. Allow me to escort you to your flight...after all, a couple of career criminals like yourselves deserve a proper send off.

Antonio: Criminals?? You've got the wrong people!! I-I assure you, we're model citizens!! I'm a priest!!

priest: (n) \prest\ A sacred title utilized in moments of desperation to one's own advantage.

Security Guard: (snickers) Oh-ho-ho man! Well, don't worry your heavenly little head, "Father Sarducci"....I'll just say 10 Hail Maries after I haul your ass on the plane. Now why don't you both come with me before things get nasty?......(on walkie) Yeah, the pickup is a go.

Gabi and Antonio exchanged bewildered glances. He felt a pressure in his wrist as she started to creep backwards.

Antonio: (whispers) Gabi. Gab-i! Don't you dare.......

Gabi: Run, Antonio!!!!!

His feet skidded across the floor as she yanked him backwards, sprinting away from the guard.

Security Guard: Stop!! (on walkie) HQ, we've got a code red, the convicts are resisting!!! I need backup and a sedative hypo, now!!!

They tore threw the crowded airport like tornadoes, tugging each other in all different directions.

Antonio: Gabi, are you crazy????

Gabi: This way, Antonio, come on!!!!

She dragged him towards the sliding doors marked "Gate G" that were rapidly closing in front of them, and as they flew threw, he looked behind them worriedly as she pulled him headfirst into the shutting door.

Antonio: Oof!!

Gabi: Oh! Antonio!! I'm sorry!! Come on, come on, over here.....(sighs) I think we lost them!

They peered around the corner, standing breathless in a cramped hallway that led to the hangar.

Antonio: (panting) Gabi, my God! What were you thinking?? Now we're probably in even worse trouble for whatever it is we didn't do!!

Gabi: Antonio?....What if....what if we're in trouble for what we did do?

Antonio: What?? Oh, no, no, not paranoid guilt mode again, Gabi, please! It's getting to be like a dull sledgehammer to my head! Kinda like my swift introduction to the door. (rubs his head and groans) Now, can you please explain how this terrible mix-up has remotely anything to do with us making love??

Gabi: Will you listen for a second?? That guard guy....he, he said the SBPD told him we were convicts being shipped to New York City....Antonio, Ricardo told me to come here and find you!

Antonio:.......Ricardo?? He told me you were here!

Gabi: Oh my God....

Antonio: No........he couldn't have set us up.......Gabi.....it couldn't be......

They stared into each other's shattered eyes, and felt suddenly felt very alone......their cuffed hands melted together.....

Antonio: No. It's insane! Gabi, listen to me...everything's gonna be fine, they're not gonna put us on a plane, and Ricardo must've...been talking in his sleep or something, OK? We can't let our guilt control us! A thousand times over, we've already gotten what we deserve, alright?

Antonio: AcK!! Alright, alright, that's enough--ow!!

He found himself being slammed against the wall in a choke hold by one of a swarm of cops, dragging her along by the hand still attached to his.

Gabi: (struggling them) Stop it! Stop it , you're hurting him!!

Officer: End of the line......

The two escape artists felt a prick in their arms, and suddenly felt very....relaxed.

Security Guard: Scratch one exodus. You won't be trying to get away again. Take them to the plane.

Two officers lead the dazed pair onto jet, as they sporadically mumbled in protest. They uncufffed and seated them, wondering where in the world their supposed escorting constable was.

Officer 1: What'd you give them?

Officer 2: Just a mild tranquilizer...sodium penethol.

Officer 1: Truth serum? Oh, that's just great. Once it really kicks in, they won't be able to shut up the whole way to New York!

Officer: Yeah....they'll be singing like canaries about how he's really a priest, and she's really Mother Theresa!

Officer 2: (chuckles) Yeeah, ain't that the truth? Oh, I tell ya...it feels great to send a couple o' psychos out of California for a change. Hasta luego, Mr. and Mrs. Torres.

Officer 1: Wait a sec....Torres? As in Detective Torres of the SBPD that made the transfer request?

Officer 2: Just a coincedence, I'm sure. And even so, how could the pillar of an exemplary L.A. division such as Ricardo Torres bring himself to admit he's related to lowlives like these?

Officer 1: Come on....there's a jelly donut at the snack bar callin' my name.

After they left, the jet sealed and prepared for takeoff.

The groggy duo in third class began to stare at each other dreamily as the plane took to the sky and soared away from the shores of California towards the east coast.....

From the way back of the plane, the cramped cabin was filled with the uncontrollable laughter of the two giddy "inmates."

Gabi: (giggles) ~~Antonnniooo........

Antonio: (laughing) ~~Gaaaaabi........guess what?

Gabi: ~~Whhhhat?

Antonio: ~~Remember when you went to Blaaahnco??

Gabi: ~~Uh- huh??

Antonio: (giggling) ~~I had this dream....that I was on the beach and you walked up to me..and told me you came back because of me!

They roared with laughter.

Gabi: (laughing)~~Yeah, yeah, well....at my bachelorette party, this male stripper was there, and I thought of you, an' I remembered undressing you slowly and ran like hell out the door! Pffff-ha ha ha haaah!!

They carried on like two liquored FBI agents revealing goverment secrets.

Antonio: (snickering) ~~My knees almost gave out when you put my hands in that dough!

Gabi: ~~If I had a nickel for everytime I thought of you....

Antonio: ~~Uh-huhh?

Gabi:~~ I'd have (giggles) um, like, all these nickels! (cracks up)

Antonio: ~~~Ohhh, man.....

Gabi: ~~I don't regret what happened between us, Antonio....

Antonio:~~Neither do I! And, and everytime I said I did.....I lied!! (laughing hysterically)

Man in Front of Them Who Looks Remarkably Like Gregory with a Beard: (to stewardess) Ahem, excuse me? (Aside) Would you please see to it that these tipsy cads behind me don't get anymore complimentary little bawtles of shnapps? I just may have to shove my peanut bag in their bloody traps!

But soon enough, the uproarious laughter died down, and they fell into a deep sleep on each other's shoulder....out like a light for the rest of the journey.

They trudged dizzily off the plane like zombies, still unaffected by their surroundings. It wasn't until they began to walk through the busy airport that their minds began to stir, and they started to retain their stream of conciousness.

Gabi: An-antonio...? How did we....get to the airport?

Antonio: (rubs his temple) I......I don't know.......?

Gabi: You don't know? What do you mean you don't know?

Antonio: Do you?

Gabi: I.......no! No, I-I don't remember anything!

Antonio: Well that makes two of us, Gabi.

She glanced at her watch and gasped.

Gabi: It's 3 in the afternoon!!! I'm out gallavanting around in a complete stupor, and who knows who's with Ricardo??! Errgggh! What's wrong with me?? And why do things like this only happen when I'm with YOU?? Antonio?? Are you even listening to me?? C'mon, we have to go home now!

Antonio looked like he'd seen a ghost. His pale face contorted into a horrified frown clenched between two agitated dimples.

Antonio: I think....we've got a problem, Gabi.........

Gabi: What, Antonio? What could possibly be worse than a completely inexcusable disregard for our responsibilities, coupled with amnesia???

Antonio:......the fact that the Empire State Building is in L.A...........?

Gabi's eyes turned to stone as her gaze shifted to a large window. They wandered towards it in a haze of shock. His hand pressed slowly against the glass, and she covered it with hers, squeezing it intensively......as they took in the familliar skyline.....

A tiny sigh escaped her lips as she fainted into his arms, here in John F. Kennedy airport.....as the sight of the city swallowed them whole.

He carried her across the airport tenderly as passers-by looked on in puzzlement.

Antonio: Uh... don't worry....she's fine....never been to New York before, she's just a little excited, that's all, heh-heh, yeah......

Gabi began to stir, and her happiness to see him crossed the thin line to aversion.

Gabi: Ugggh! You! You're a nightmare I can't wake up from!

He tried his best to conceal his hurt and reassure her as he put her down.

Antonio: Don't worry, Gabi..... now, I don't know how, or why this happened, OK? But we're gonna get on the first plane back to L.A., alright?

Gabi: No, we're not.

Antonio: What?

Gabi: We are getting on two separate planes to L.A. We're a walking disaster!! I don't want to be within a 5 mile radius of you!

Antonio: Well, I don't really want to be in the same room with you right now, either.

Well, face it, folks, the guy's a terrible liar.

Gabi: (digging in her purse, agitated) I just need....to find my.....(gasps) oh my God?!!!

Antonio: What, did you forget your Tic Tacs?

But two could play at the snide remarks game.

Gabi: No, uh, acutally, Antonio, I was referring to my EMPTY WALLET!!

Antonio: You're kidding??

Gabi: All my money....my, my credit cards, my ATM's.....my library card is gone!!! I can't even borrow a copy of Clifford the Big Red Dog, nevermind fly home!!!

Antonio: Gabi, Gabi, take it easy. Whadaya think, I'm just gonna leave you here? (opens his wallet) I'll just charge the tickets to my----ohh, no.....

Gabi: No.....don't you say it, don't you even SAY it!!

Antonio:No, no, this can't be happening...not to both of us!!!

Gabi: We must've gotten robbed on the plane!!

Antonio: They even ripped a picture of me and Ricardo out of here!

Gabi: Well this is just spectacular!! We beam ourselves to New York, and then become the victims of the Sears Wallet Size bandits!!

Antonio: OK, OK, calm down. There's this new space age invention called the phone?? We'll call someone, explain what happened, and they'll wire us some money.

Gabi: Explain??? How do we explain this, Antonio??! I think there was a better explanatation for that little X-Files moment on Christmas Eve!! You know, that Madonna statue must've rubbed off a little of her bad luck on you, Antonio. Which you've successfully managed to pass on to ME, everyday, forever! What will you do for an encore??? Hand me a big boquet of Aztec sunflowers and push me under a ladder??

They realized that they were simultaneuously clutching the pay phone.

Antonio: Ahem....just mellow out, and give me the phone.

Gabi: No. Who are you calling??

Antonio: The loft. Michael, Ruiz, Spence, somebody'll be there!

Gabi: Uh-huh...and someone else'll be there too, Antonio....that guy, oh, um, what was his name, oh! Ricardo, my husband??? This is NOT going to get back to him, I won't let it. I already think he suspects something...and then, and then for him to find out we ended up on a plane to New York, completely broke, and don't remember how we got here?? Oh, brilliant!!

Antonio: Fine. OK? Fine. I'll call Maria. I think she can sympathize with the whole missing span of time problem.

Gabi: Oh, yeah....missing five years meets missing five hours. Gotta LOVE it, Antonio. Maybe we were in Seattle and had a couple kids while we were at it!!!

He turned away from her, blushing intensely.

Antonio: Come on....pick up, pick up, Maria.......

Gabi crossed her fingers. As much as she hated using Maria's good nature to her advantage, the middle Torres was the definitely the ideal person to get through to right now. Mostly because of her "don't ask, don't tell" philosophy towards them.

*Beep*.....Hiyee! This is the Benjy Evans presidence. My Mommy and Daddy can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave yer method after the bleep, they'll call you after they come outta the bedroom. Buh-bye!*

Antonio: (hangs up) Uh...remind me to let my sister know that Benjy figured out how to change the outgoing message, and to make a new one real soon....

Gabi: Oh God....she must be at the loft!! Who else can we call??? Your mother??? Father O'Brien?? There's no one!! No one!

Antonio: No, wait a second. I'm calling A.J. Deschanel.

Gabi: A.J.??? What the hell does HE have to do with this?

Antonio: I think the fact that an explosion happened in his office while we were in there warrants a favor or two. Well, the life- threatening one, at least.

As he started to dial the phone, she clicked the bar down and hung it up.

Gabi: Whoa, whoa, wait! What do you mean, "the life-threatening one"? What other explosion was there??

He sighed nervously and his eyes darted away from her.

Gabi: You don't mean....oh GOD. (covers her eyes) Is that what we're calling the biggest mistake of our lives now, Mr. State of Grace?? The "explosion"????

Antonio: I-I didn't mean that, Gabi, OK? I'm sorry. Maybe I was just trying to make you feel better with a little humor, alright?

Gabi: Aww....well thank you SO much, Patch Antonio, but just keep your cutesy little euphemisms for our stupidity to yourself, OK?? (crosses her arms and turns away, scoffing.)

Antonio hung up the phone and tried to bury his lovesick pain from her words.

Antonio: Well...no answer at AJ's.

Gabi: (sighs) Well.....any more brilliant ideas?

Antonio: Gabi, you're not gonna like this, but....I think we should just head into town and figure something out.

Gabi: Uh-huh....."Head into town."

She grabbed him by the back of the neck and lead him to the window.

Gabi: Ya' SEE that, Antonio? It's not MAYBERRY. We're gonna get devoured out there! And it's not like we even have the money to get out of this airport, anyway!!

Antonio: Can you just let me go??

Gabi: Oh, is that what you really want??

Their faces were inches apart, glaring at each other harshly. They froze for a second, swallowing their hearts.

Gabi: I uh....ahem.......

Antonio: Look, Gabi....I think I might know a way out of here....

Gabi: Well God help us both.................

A large woman with screaming pink eyeshadow and a small megaphone walked by, followed by a large group with cameras around their necks.

Woman: Yes, just follow me, my little tourists. My name is Dee, and I'll be your guide. Now this is John, Fitzgerald, Kennedy, Air, Port. Would anyone like me to repeat or spell that?

Antonio: Just smile and blend in, Gabi.......

Woman: OK. Now, we are going to leave the airport. Does that sound like FUN?

The unenthusiastic bunch let out a groan that sounded like a yes.

Woman: Right this way to the tour bus, folks.

Gabi and Antonio nonchalantly followed them and boarded the bus adorned with the words, "Dee Froque's Spectacular City Tours", and were on their way.....

As they crossed the Manhattan bridge, it was hard not to be affected by the beautiful sight of the city....but it came with an underlying dread of what was they were facing.....

Gabi put her hand on the arm of the seat, and Antonio's was already there. They slowly looked towards each other, trying to maintain a facade of disgust.

As tremors surged up their arms........

To Be Continued...

On to chapter 3...