Delirious: A Lovesick
Romance
Sometimes, the
mind has no control.
The mind tells him to get up today, to put on the perfectly pressed and
starched ensemble, secure it with a hitch as white as snow, smile, possibly mean it,
and head out into the world that reads him like a closed book.
Be dependable. Dutiful. Ready to humbly serve, dammit.
But the morning sunlight is like a steamroller crushing him flat. His body wages
war on itself, splitting him in two, as he swallows shards of glass, his eyes narrow
and glossy. His skin glistens...but not with the amorous dew of a night of love...
no, with beads of weary sweat....while he lies in a sub-zero freeze. He moves, a
painful decision, and tumbles out of the bed. A delayed reaction to the thud as he
stares at the floor.
He's not moving, for God, or anyone.
Not even her.
Well, maybe her.
Maybe not.
He slumps back into the bed, his head hitting the pillow like a ton of concrete.
The voice of the priest yells at him to get up, the voice of the brother of a paralyzed
man who never, ever quits yells at him, too.
But a voice that's hardly ever heeded wins this time. It's the voice of Antonio
Torres, a man, who feels like hell and doesn't want to get out of bed today.
She had sat there in the booth for about 10 minutes before she started to
fidget. Smiling faces, greetings of "Hello, Gabi. "Great turn-out today." "Decaf?
Donuts?" She can barely hear them. All she can do is scan the crowds of officers
and college kids for someone in black with a smudge of white. Her head rests on
folded arms in the booth, fingers drumming the signatureless clipboard, glaring at
her watch.
He was never late, for anything.
The words "So unlike him." hammer at her brain, again, and again. The more
time passed, the less she could concentrate on anything...a quick mumble to Ruiz
with a swinging purse, and she was out of that lonely booth and gunning to the
Mission.
So here she was, staring blank-faced at his bedroom door. This was bad.
Very bad. Why didn't she just stay at the Career Fair?? There had to
be a rational explanation to why he never showed up. Hadn't they decided it would
be best if they weren't there together, anyway?
She cringed, realizing how worried sick she really was about Ricardo's brother,
the priest.
This was the last place in the vacant rectory she hadn't checked. Her fist
wobbled around like a reluctant butterfly and finally knocked. Oh God. Just a
morbid fascination with what was behind the door....nothing more.
She held her breath and slowly opened the door, stunned to see a flash of light
in the middle of the terribly plain stucco room......Antonio, in the bed. He was all
twisted up in the sheets wearing boxer shorts and a wifebeater, his broad arm
dangling off the side of the bed, his hair sticking up as if it had been in the wind.
Her mind snuffed out words like "cute," but she couldn't resist looking him over.
Her eyes traced his body...she inched closer as if he was a landmine. But cheap
shoes, as they usually do, have a way of assuring you end up in other places....
Her heel buckled, and she crumpled right onto the bed, tugging the sheets
everywhere in an attempt to grasp at anything but his bare skin. Antonio's face
went into a twisted expression as his hands surrounded her waist, trying to push
her away as he let out a groan of annoyance...until he opened one eye and saw her
in his arms, and his groggy squint exploded.
Compromising? Oh, slightly.
"Aaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!" they screamed out together.
He squirmed like hell, she leaped to her feet beside the bed, stumbling back,
tucking her hair behind her ear frantically in her horror.
"I'm sorry!!! I'm sooooo, soo incredibly sorry, Antonio, I..I shouldn't be
here.....after what we just talked about last night, I have no idea why I........no,
wait." she paused, reassessing the sitch. "I know exactly why I'm here.
Because you were a no-show at Career Day! Oh, I know, we
danced around the possibility of one of us maybe not going, but you know, when
you say you're gonna be somewhere, Antonio...."
She babbled on in a huffy voice, trying to fight the awestruck smile triggered
by his roving hands that was tugging at her, as Antonio's eyes narrowed a bit.
"and, and then, I was left sitting there, all alone, wondering if you
were just avoiding me, of if I did something, or God forbid, if
anything happened to you. There I was, looking like a complete idiot, going nuts
trying to figure out your intentions, Antonio, while you were loafing around in your
pajamas! Maybe you should set up a new booth over there about how you make a
career out of embarrassing me!"
His eyes breaking, he was ready to rant, to fling it right back at her...but his
voice dissolved into a low moan as he raked his hand through his hair, holding his
whirling head.
Her tone softened instantly and faded into a gentle sadness, as if she was wired
to his pain. "Oh my God.....are you sick?"
"No." Antonio grumbled, staring off into space.
"Don't lie to me." she said, trying to ignore her complete hypocrisy. "You are."
"I said, I'm not!" he snapped, leading predictably to a
coughing spell that ended in a reserved half-smile.
"Oh, Antonio...why didn't you just tell me? You're allowed to get sick, you
know. Were you just gonna call me later and say, 'Oh, by the way, I'm deathly
ill??' "
"Gabi..." Antonio grimaced, "With everything Ricardo's going through, I really
don't need to steal your time for a little cold thing."
"Do you need Ricardo's permission for everything, Antonio??" she suddenly
huffed, then retracted her pent up frustration. "I mean... Ricardo's just fine, OK?
You're not. And from the looks of you, this isn't just a 'little cold thing.' Alright, out
with it. What are your symptoms?"
Antonio rolled his eyes, realizing he was being grilled in the way she always
reprimanded him not to, and that the tables had definitely turned. "Where do I
start? My head is heavy as fruitcake, I have horrible shooting pains, and I can only
breathe in a semi-upright position." he sniffed. "Actually, check that, not at all."
Gabi's eyebrows arched slightly. "Men are such babies."
"Well, thank you, Gabi, for relieving my torment by insulting me, too." he
quipped.
"I'm only kidding! Believe me. it really doesn't seem like fun." The interrogation
raged on. "Any dizziness, are you nauseous at all?"
"Only when I try to stand up." Antonio shrugged, smiling faintly.
"Antonio! This is serious! It sounds like you have a horrible case of the flu,
maybe worse. That's it, I'm calling Tyus."
"No, no, c'mon, Gabi...I don't even understand how that guy fits in housecalls,
and I really don't want one, OK?"
"Then I'm staying." Gabi said quickly, before she could talk herself out of it. "I'll
take care of you." Antonio made a worried face. "It's not fair, Antonio. There's no
law that says just because you're a priest, you have to be all alone when you're
sick. What're you gonna do, anoint yourself with Vapo-Rub?"
Without even thinking he was smiling at her, a shy smile stretching over his
face, his laughter quickly changing to coughing again.
"Just let me help you. You must know by now what a good nurse I would've
been."
Oh, he knew. He winced inside at how many times he wished her gentle hands
could've been showering him with TLC.
(((("I have no choice. I'm just going to have to administer a sponge bath,
Antonio.")))))
"Huh?" he said, blinking.
"So, will you let me stay?" Gabi asked.
"Gabi, I....I really don't think--"
"Alright. Is that your...final answer, Antonio?" Gabi strolled over to
the phone. "If that's the way you wanna play it." It was obvious who wore the pants
in her marriage, but she relished in her current position of power with
Antonio. "I'm calling your mother." she teased.
"You wouldn't!" Antonio cringed.
"Oh-ho-ho...you don't want to test me. Yep..." she traced her finger over the
phone. "I can almost hear the Camaro peeling out down the street now, loaded
with all sorts of herbal remedies..."
Antonio tugged his pillow over his head. "No, please...I'm begging you, Gabi--"
"...Then, of course, she'll have to consult the tarot and predict the full
extent of your suffering, and then comes the seance...to beckon the evil
spirits that have undoubtedly inhabited your body....."
"Ugggh.....I'll call Dr. Kervorkian first." Antonio muttered. "Alright,
alright...you can stay."
She slowly sat down on the side of the bed, and Antonio scooted over abruptly
as if Vampira had sat down beside him, his arms wriggling the covers over him in a
much too obvious way.
"What! I'm not gonna..." ..bite you, she almost said, stopping the
words dead in their tracks. Hadn't they just talked about this whole awkward
business last night? And something laced with innuendo had almost casually slipped
out. Bad. Very bad! "....I'm not the one who's sick." she finished quickly.
"Gabi, this....I'm....it's really not, appropriate. I mean, me, I'm....not,
really, appropriate...I'm...I'm kinda half-naked over here, alright? So could you,
just...."
Gabi scoffed. "What part of California are you living in? Cause in
this one, a T-shirt and shorts isn't...half naked, Antonio." she almost
giggled at the juxtaposition of the words. "It's not like it's anything I haven't
already se--" (Oh God, not again!) "Just cool it, OK??"
Antonio shuddered. "Ugh...thanks. So nice to know that my violent chills
happen on command now."
"Oh,let me see." She put her hand against his flushed cheek, her eyes heavy
on him....unsure of whether the heat she was feeling was from him or her. But the
way his face was speckled with red....the way the warm flush bloomed all the way
down to his chest...she remembered the same shy glow he had about him the night
they.......
"Well...am I hot?" he said quickly, cringing at his words. "I mean, do you feel
anything?" (Even worse!!) "So am I dead or what??"
"Huh?........oh!!! Um.....well, you don't have to have as many med degrees as
Tyus to tell you've got a fever." she stammered. "Some Advil will probably bring it
down.....um...." she glanced at a little stereo on the nightstand. "How about I put
on some music? Will that uh....help you to relax a little?"
Did that sound like another innuendo??
"Sure...." Antonio sighed. "As long as it's not, uh...Twisted Sister or anything."
Twisted Sister?? Now there's a current reference. Just shut up
before you say anything even stupider, Antonio!
"OK. Don't worry about a thing, alright? I'm gonna take as good care of you as
you have of me since the day you showed up from Mexico, Antonio."
Ah. Rosario! Antonio wished he was there right now. So what if the villagers
had chased him out of town with torches? Anything would be better than
this...being here...feeling like hell....and feeling like even more hell for
not feeling like hell because she was here....
In fact, her presence was making him feel better by the minute.
She clicked on the radio and looked at him, sighing....and all of a sudden the
song that was playing struck her brain and made her shiver with awkward terror.
*What would you say if I tooooold, you,*
*I've always wanted to hoooooold, you...*
"Umm......"
*I don't know what we're afraaaid, of,*
*Nothing would change if we maaaaade, love--*
"Oookay, I'm just gonna change this!" Gabi snapped, hastily stabbing
at the buttons on the stereo....as the song remained the same.
*And I'll be, your, friend,*
*And I'll be, your, loooover--*
"Your, um....pre-set stations don't work, Antonio." Gabi stated with a mortified,
clenched smile.
She fumbled with the knob, and the gooey ballad played on.
"Neither does the tuner." Antonio said slyly under his breath, clearing his
throat, trying to hide the grin that was sneaking across his mouth.
Her jumpiness worsening, the off-button eluding her, she yanked the plug out
of the wall. "Theeere we go. That's enough music, right?...."
"Gabi, I think there's something you should know." Antonio said.
"What?"
"I'm.... really not sick." he muttered, looking down.
"What?! How.....how could you do this to me, Antonio? Why? If you wanted to
spend time with me, why didn't you just say it??"
Antonio climbed out of the bed and stood before her shyly, his dark eyes
beseeching her with tenderness. "I wanted you to be near me the way you used to
be before you knew I loved you, Gabi. When you touched me..." he took her hand
and ran it lightly across his face, "and didn't want to back away."
"I...I never want to back away, Antonio....and back then....I....touched you that
way because I did love you....I just didn't know it.......I............God, I
love it when you wear those wifebeaters!!!"
Just then, she grabbed him with both hands and dragged him willingly into a
kiss....her fingers grasping the wifebeater, tearing it apart. It was so much more
than a physical intensity that possessed her....it was a need to touch the man
inside....to return his love, to exchange the bottled up energy that burned
feverishly between them both every day, every week, every--
"Gabi?"
"What?!? Wha...what did we......"
Gabi shook her head abruptly, fiddling with her hair as she looked back at him
there in the bed.
"You just kinda spaced out for a minute there while you were trying to figure
out the radio. You alright?"
"Yeah.....you know....why don't I let you get some sleep for a while?"
"Yeah....I guess you're right. This is sort of...strange."
"Strange. Yeah. It's not you, Antonio, really, I....I guess I'd better head back
to the Career Fair. But I'll come back, OK? R--Ricardo and I will come back later.
You just take some medicine and get some rest. And when you wake up, your
favorite big brother will be here, and his wifebeater. Wife!! His wife.....will be here."
Gabi stuttered, her heart like a landmine.
"Hey, I'm not going anywhere. I'll.....I'll see you, Gabi."
Gabi managed a smile, and russled his hair gently, expelling thoughts of a
sweeter goodbye. "You'll be alright."
She shut the door of her car and exhaled heavily. It was back to the fair, to
recruit smiling young faces who dreamed of sorting stacks of files in a tiny room, all
day. "Sure." she mumbled. "Everybody wants to be just like me. Happy.....happy to
be Ricardo's wifebeater. Wife!"
Just another one of those Freudian slips, right?
She wondered, as she drove away.....if she came down with whatever Antonio
had....would Ricardo know.....would he know how close she must've gotten...wanted
to be....to his brother, the priest?
The
End!