Sometimes, the mind has no control.
The mind tells him to get up today, to put on the perfectly pressed and starched ensemble, secure it with a hitch as white as snow, smile, possibly mean it, and head out into the world that reads him like a closed book.
Be dependable. Dutiful. Ready to humbly serve, dammit.
But the morning sunlight is like a steamroller crushing him flat. His body wages war on itself, splitting him in two, as he swallows shards of glass, his eyes narrow and glossy. His skin glistens...but not with the amorous dew of a night of love... no, with beads of weary sweat....while he lies in a sub-zero freeze. He moves, a painful decision, and tumbles out of the bed. A delayed reaction to the thud as he stares at the floor.
He's not moving, for God, or anyone.
Not even her.
Well, maybe her.
Maybe not.
He slumps back into the bed, his head hitting the pillow like a ton of concrete. The voice of the priest yells at him to get up, the voice of the brother of a paralyzed man who never, ever quits yells at him, too.
But a voice that's hardly ever heeded wins this time. It's the voice of Antonio Torres, a man, who feels like hell and doesn't want to get out of bed today.
She had sat there in the booth for about 10 minutes before she started to fidget. Smiling faces, greetings of "Hello, Gabi. "Great turn-out today." "Decaf? Donuts?" She can barely hear them. All she can do is scan the crowds of officers and college kids for someone in black with a smudge of white. Her head rests on folded arms in the booth, fingers drumming the signatureless clipboard, glaring at her watch.
He was never late, for anything.
The words "So unlike him." hammer at her brain, again, and again. The more time passed, the less she could concentrate on anything...a quick mumble to Ruiz with a swinging purse, and she was out of that lonely booth and gunning to the Mission.
So here she was, staring blank-faced at his bedroom door. This was bad. Very bad. Why didn't she just stay at the Career Fair?? There had to be a rational explanation to why he never showed up. Hadn't they decided it would be best if they weren't there together, anyway?
She cringed, realizing how worried sick she really was about Ricardo's brother, the priest.
This was the last place in the vacant rectory she hadn't checked. Her fist wobbled around like a reluctant butterfly and finally knocked. Oh God. Just a morbid fascination with what was behind the door....nothing more.
She held her breath and slowly opened the door, stunned to see a flash of light in the middle of the terribly plain stucco room......Antonio, in the bed. He was all twisted up in the sheets wearing boxer shorts and a wifebeater, his broad arm dangling off the side of the bed, his hair sticking up as if it had been in the wind. Her mind snuffed out words like "cute," but she couldn't resist looking him over. Her eyes traced his body...she inched closer as if he was a landmine. But cheap shoes, as they usually do, have a way of assuring you end up in other places....
Her heel buckled, and she crumpled right onto the bed, tugging the sheets everywhere in an attempt to grasp at anything but his bare skin. Antonio's face went into a twisted expression as his hands surrounded her waist, trying to push her away as he let out a groan of annoyance...until he opened one eye and saw her in his arms, and his groggy squint exploded.
Compromising? Oh, slightly.
"Aaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!" they screamed out together.
He squirmed like hell, she leaped to her feet beside the bed, stumbling back, tucking her hair behind her ear frantically in her horror.
"I'm sorry!!! I'm sooooo, soo incredibly sorry, Antonio, I..I shouldn't be here.....after what we just talked about last night, I have no idea why I........no, wait." she paused, reassessing the sitch. "I know exactly why I'm here. Because you were a no-show at Career Day! Oh, I know, we danced around the possibility of one of us maybe not going, but you know, when you say you're gonna be somewhere, Antonio...."
She babbled on in a huffy voice, trying to fight the awestruck smile triggered by his roving hands that was tugging at her, as Antonio's eyes narrowed a bit.
"and, and then, I was left sitting there, all alone, wondering if you were just avoiding me, of if I did something, or God forbid, if anything happened to you. There I was, looking like a complete idiot, going nuts trying to figure out your intentions, Antonio, while you were loafing around in your pajamas! Maybe you should set up a new booth over there about how you make a career out of embarrassing me!"
His eyes breaking, he was ready to rant, to fling it right back at her...but his voice dissolved into a low moan as he raked his hand through his hair, holding his whirling head.
Her tone softened instantly and faded into a gentle sadness, as if she was wired to his pain. "Oh my God.....are you sick?"
"No." Antonio grumbled, staring off into space.
"Don't lie to me." she said, trying to ignore her complete hypocrisy. "You are."
"I said, I'm not!" he snapped, leading predictably to a coughing spell that ended in a reserved half-smile.
"Oh, Antonio...why didn't you just tell me? You're allowed to get sick, you know. Were you just gonna call me later and say, 'Oh, by the way, I'm deathly ill??' "
"Gabi..." Antonio grimaced, "With everything Ricardo's going through, I really don't need to steal your time for a little cold thing."
"Do you need Ricardo's permission for everything, Antonio??" she suddenly huffed, then retracted her pent up frustration. "I mean... Ricardo's just fine, OK? You're not. And from the looks of you, this isn't just a 'little cold thing.' Alright, out with it. What are your symptoms?"
Antonio rolled his eyes, realizing he was being grilled in the way she always reprimanded him not to, and that the tables had definitely turned. "Where do I start? My head is heavy as fruitcake, I have horrible shooting pains, and I can only breathe in a semi-upright position." he sniffed. "Actually, check that, not at all."
Gabi's eyebrows arched slightly. "Men are such babies."
"Well, thank you, Gabi, for relieving my torment by insulting me, too." he quipped.
"I'm only kidding! Believe me. it really doesn't seem like fun." The interrogation raged on. "Any dizziness, are you nauseous at all?"
"Only when I try to stand up." Antonio shrugged, smiling faintly.
"Antonio! This is serious! It sounds like you have a horrible case of the flu, maybe worse. That's it, I'm calling Tyus."
"No, no, c'mon, Gabi...I don't even understand how that guy fits in housecalls, and I really don't want one, OK?"
"Then I'm staying." Gabi said quickly, before she could talk herself out of it. "I'll take care of you." Antonio made a worried face. "It's not fair, Antonio. There's no law that says just because you're a priest, you have to be all alone when you're sick. What're you gonna do, anoint yourself with Vapo-Rub?"
Without even thinking he was smiling at her, a shy smile stretching over his face, his laughter quickly changing to coughing again.
"Just let me help you. You must know by now what a good nurse I would've been."
Oh, he knew. He winced inside at how many times he wished her gentle hands could've been showering him with TLC.
(((("I have no choice. I'm just going to have to administer a sponge bath, Antonio.")))))
"Huh?" he said, blinking.
"So, will you let me stay?" Gabi asked.
"Gabi, I....I really don't think--"
"Alright. Is that your...final answer, Antonio?" Gabi strolled over to the phone. "If that's the way you wanna play it." It was obvious who wore the pants in her marriage, but she relished in her current position of power with Antonio. "I'm calling your mother." she teased.
"You wouldn't!" Antonio cringed.
"Oh-ho-ho...you don't want to test me. Yep..." she traced her finger over the phone. "I can almost hear the Camaro peeling out down the street now, loaded with all sorts of herbal remedies..."
Antonio tugged his pillow over his head. "No, please...I'm begging you, Gabi--"
"...Then, of course, she'll have to consult the tarot and predict the full extent of your suffering, and then comes the seance...to beckon the evil spirits that have undoubtedly inhabited your body....."
"Ugggh.....I'll call Dr. Kervorkian first." Antonio muttered. "Alright, alright...you can stay."
She slowly sat down on the side of the bed, and Antonio scooted over abruptly as if Vampira had sat down beside him, his arms wriggling the covers over him in a much too obvious way.
"What! I'm not gonna..." ..bite you, she almost said, stopping the words dead in their tracks. Hadn't they just talked about this whole awkward business last night? And something laced with innuendo had almost casually slipped out. Bad. Very bad! "....I'm not the one who's sick." she finished quickly.
"Gabi, this....I'm....it's really not, appropriate. I mean, me, I'm....not, really, appropriate...I'm...I'm kinda half-naked over here, alright? So could you, just...."
Gabi scoffed. "What part of California are you living in? Cause in this one, a T-shirt and shorts isn't...half naked, Antonio." she almost giggled at the juxtaposition of the words. "It's not like it's anything I haven't already se--" (Oh God, not again!) "Just cool it, OK??"
Antonio shuddered. "Ugh...thanks. So nice to know that my violent chills happen on command now."
"Oh,let me see." She put her hand against his flushed cheek, her eyes heavy on him....unsure of whether the heat she was feeling was from him or her. But the way his face was speckled with red....the way the warm flush bloomed all the way down to his chest...she remembered the same shy glow he had about him the night they.......
"Well...am I hot?" he said quickly, cringing at his words. "I mean, do you feel anything?" (Even worse!!) "So am I dead or what??"
"Huh?........oh!!! Um.....well, you don't have to have as many med degrees as Tyus to tell you've got a fever." she stammered. "Some Advil will probably bring it down.....um...." she glanced at a little stereo on the nightstand. "How about I put on some music? Will that uh....help you to relax a little?"
Did that sound like another innuendo??
"Sure...." Antonio sighed. "As long as it's not, uh...Twisted Sister or anything."
Twisted Sister?? Now there's a current reference. Just shut up before you say anything even stupider, Antonio!
"OK. Don't worry about a thing, alright? I'm gonna take as good care of you as you have of me since the day you showed up from Mexico, Antonio."
Ah. Rosario! Antonio wished he was there right now. So what if the villagers had chased him out of town with torches? Anything would be better than this...being here...feeling like hell....and feeling like even more hell for not feeling like hell because she was here....
In fact, her presence was making him feel better by the minute.
She clicked on the radio and looked at him, sighing....and all of a sudden the song that was playing struck her brain and made her shiver with awkward terror.
*What would you say if I tooooold, you,*
*I've always wanted to hoooooold, you...*
"Umm......"
*I don't know what we're afraaaid, of,*
*Nothing would change if we maaaaade, love--*
"Oookay, I'm just gonna change this!" Gabi snapped, hastily stabbing at the buttons on the stereo....as the song remained the same.
*And I'll be, your, friend,*
*And I'll be, your, loooover--*
"Your, um....pre-set stations don't work, Antonio." Gabi stated with a mortified, clenched smile.
She fumbled with the knob, and the gooey ballad played on.
"Neither does the tuner." Antonio said slyly under his breath, clearing his throat, trying to hide the grin that was sneaking across his mouth.
Her jumpiness worsening, the off-button eluding her, she yanked the plug out of the wall. "Theeere we go. That's enough music, right?...."
"Gabi, I think there's something you should know." Antonio said.
"What?"
"I'm.... really not sick." he muttered, looking down.
"What?! How.....how could you do this to me, Antonio? Why? If you wanted to spend time with me, why didn't you just say it??"
Antonio climbed out of the bed and stood before her shyly, his dark eyes beseeching her with tenderness. "I wanted you to be near me the way you used to be before you knew I loved you, Gabi. When you touched me..." he took her hand and ran it lightly across his face, "and didn't want to back away."
"I...I never want to back away, Antonio....and back then....I....touched you that way because I did love you....I just didn't know it.......I............God, I love it when you wear those wifebeaters!!!"
Just then, she grabbed him with both hands and dragged him willingly into a kiss....her fingers grasping the wifebeater, tearing it apart. It was so much more than a physical intensity that possessed her....it was a need to touch the man inside....to return his love, to exchange the bottled up energy that burned feverishly between them both every day, every week, every--
"Gabi?"
"What?!? Wha...what did we......"
Gabi shook her head abruptly, fiddling with her hair as she looked back at him there in the bed.
"You just kinda spaced out for a minute there while you were trying to figure out the radio. You alright?"
"Yeah.....you know....why don't I let you get some sleep for a while?"
"Yeah....I guess you're right. This is sort of...strange."
"Strange. Yeah. It's not you, Antonio, really, I....I guess I'd better head back to the Career Fair. But I'll come back, OK? R--Ricardo and I will come back later. You just take some medicine and get some rest. And when you wake up, your favorite big brother will be here, and his wifebeater. Wife!! His wife.....will be here." Gabi stuttered, her heart like a landmine.
"Hey, I'm not going anywhere. I'll.....I'll see you, Gabi."
Gabi managed a smile, and russled his hair gently, expelling thoughts of a sweeter goodbye. "You'll be alright."
She shut the door of her car and exhaled heavily. It was back to the fair, to recruit smiling young faces who dreamed of sorting stacks of files in a tiny room, all day. "Sure." she mumbled. "Everybody wants to be just like me. Happy.....happy to be Ricardo's wifebeater. Wife!"
Just another one of those Freudian slips, right?
She wondered, as she drove away.....if she came down with whatever Antonio had....would Ricardo know.....would he know how close she must've gotten...wanted to be....to his brother, the priest?
The
End!