Past Sermons

Means of Escape

Back to Name That Religion
Back to Flaming Eggplants

greetings from the patron saint of one minute and thirty two seconds todays sermon will be about ritual sacrifices.
Jello is sacred to the followers of one minute and thirty two seconds, because it makes a very sticky substance to land on from high Heights and while pudding makes a larger mess landers in this substance usually cease to operate as the semi human beings they happen to be.
other topics of sacrelegious prospect are the sacred fruits that have been eroniously named the Kiwi. in our religion these holy fruit must be named shilaz. the shilaz must be eaten at all ceremonies.
one other thing petunias are evil!! all must destroy petunias found on holy ground. destroying petunias on non-holy grounds is purely optional.
all must worship the fridge sludge which hides and cowers from the humans affected by the spring cleaning Bug. these Endangered species must be revered for their miraculous ability to spontaineously regenerate in any fridge at any time and create a realy ronchy smell.
and so ends the sermon
the patron saint of one minute and thirty two seconds

Wanna write a sermon? E-mail me