My Ever-Changing View of the Universe

Everything here is in reverse chronological order, for reasons that made perfect sense to me at the time. Perhaps I should have put everything on here in the order it occured to me, and maybe one day I'll do just that. Who knows?


April 23, 2002, night
Maybe this isn't as deeply philosophical as my other ramblings are (or try to be), but I'm beginning to reexamine the importance of daylight on the human psyche. This is near the end of my fifth day in my new apartment, which has no windows. As I think about it, my mental state is not so much indicative of a need for daylight as merely for a need for some indicators as to the passage of time. I have clocks here, but they are the only landmarks I have. It is just as light or dark here when I wake up as when I go to sleep. It's kind of creepy. My sleep pattern is now almost random. I think I will make more detailed notes on this phenomenon for the benefit of science, or possibly just the amusement of my readers. I've got to think more about this. Travelling through time with no landmarks. Hmm... Possibly some reference to Aristotle's story about the dark cave...or possibly not. Possibly the first application ever of that or anything else I studied in my logic class. Possibly I should sleep now. What time is it? August 18, 1999, mid-afternoon
How many times do we look around ourselves and cry out "Yes! I've figured it all out now!" How many different meanings of life do we discover and then discard every day? Maybe there really is something out there to find, and maybe there isn't, but still we search, and find, and search once again. And we look at a hamster in a wheel and wonder how it can stand to just go round in circles all the time.

July 20, 1999, 9:30 pm EST
Do you ever feel that you're the only one in the world who has no idea what's going on? Hell, maybe I'm the only one who feels that way, which would mean that I'm actually right. Hmmm. Now there's a thought.

I used to believe that people are inherently good, that love conquers all, and that everything will always turn out right. I'm not sure what I believe anymore, but I'm fairly certain it's not that.
Maybe I should just get a big question mark tattooed on my forehead and let that speak for me. I'm tired.

Some date in the past - I can't remember exactly when
Lately, I've been wondering about the universe in general, and attempting to sort out what, if anything, I really know for sure about life, the universe, and everything. I have now decided to inflict my pitiful ramblings on you.

I expect that this page will grow and develop into something with actual meaning, but for now, I'll just pose a few questions.

1) Is there a meaning to life?
2) Is it possible to discover the meaning of life, assuming there is one?
3) If you did discover the meaning of life, what would be left to do with the rest of your life?
4) Do scientists really have any more idea as to the nature of the universe than we do?
5) Can thoughts/perceptions alter reality?
6) Why are we here?
7) What is the secret of happiness?
8) What is success?
9) Is there life on other planets?
10) If there are aliens, and they're sufficiently advanced to get here, why would they want to spend all their time mutilating farm animals? Is this a prank or what?
11) Is ESP real?

Here are the things I know for sure:
1) Dropped toast lands jam-side down.
2) Life as we know it is always ending.
3) It is impossible for one person to know everything.

Here are some theories:
1) The purpose of life is to search for meaning.
2) There is no reality, only perception.
3) Maybe what happens to you after you die is what you believe will happen.

If you have any thoughts or questions about the universe, then please e-mail me.

This page really will get better soon. I promise.


"And so you see I have come to doubt
All that I once held as true.
I stand alone, without beliefs.
The only truth I know is you."
- Paul Simon