Full Name: Lance and Eskimo's Biggest Fan
Age: Too old for this sort of thing to be cute anymore
Sex: Male
Hair/Eyes: Shaves his head/Don't know, don't care
Occupation: Nothing useful
Distinguishing Characteristics: Lumpy head, complete lack of muscles
Personality: Dorky, innocent, sex-starved, gullible. A total clown. Basically worthless. No offense...
Quote: "Hey, wait! In Issue #5395, you said Mandrake's favorite food was couscous and baklava! You IDIOT!!" "Oh, no! How will lovely Philharmonic/Eskimo Jones get out of this one?" "Take it all off baby!"
Connection with Characters: Reads my comics.