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Fourteenth

they celebrate their budding love—
with chocolates that rot the teeth,
wines that rot the mind,
and cut roses with three-day life spans—
as professions of eternal love
seep forth from mortal lips
like bubbling bile

it’s times like these i’m forced to believe in evolution
for no God would create such flawed specimens
in His image—
implanting both desire for love
and competence for cruelty

i peel your pictures from my walls...
add them to the pile of failed fantasies in the dresser drawer...
spend my days with friends,
nights comatose or sleepless,
fighting to break free of thoughts of you

2.13.01  1:17 a.m.

it's the day before valentine's day, and this is how i feel.  i got an e-mail from the man i love and/or loved today, and he said he's dating someone else.  that is, of course, perfectly within his rights to do, but it doesn't make it hurt any less.  it's been over six months since i have seen him, or even heard his voice--we've communicated only through e-mail, and even those have been infrequent--and yet i'm surprised to hear his news...  i guess that shows what a fool i've been.

before i posted this, i read through some of my older work, including "Candy Hearts," which i wrote last year about the same time.  it's amazing how much things have changed.  last year at this time i was in a horrible "relationship" with a man who was dating several other people and who just wanted (and received) physical pleasure.  i couldn't spend valentine's day with him, since he was spending it with his primary girlfriend...  and now, one year later, i am alone.  but he is a good guy, and he's been a good friend...  so while i'm not happy now, at least the journey that led me here was a pleasant one.

i have a non-refundable plane ticket to London next month to see him.  perhaps it will inspiring, if nothing else.

i'll close with a quote from The Grateful Dead, for it seems they have adequately described my life lately:  "what a long, strange trip it's been..."

~ Erin

Fourteenth

*poetry index * the poet's pen * sign guestbook * view guestbook * about me * * help me pay my rent * webrings * links * news & updates *

poetry index the poet's pen * sign guestbook * view guestbook * about me *
* help me pay my rent * webrings * links * news & updates *