5.3.05 2:19 a.m.
I've updated occasionally over the last couple months, adding eight poems that were written in Toronto.
As usual, love and pain alternate as my muses.
Two poems, 2:12 a.m. and Constriction, were the detrius of a relationship that ended in July.
Later, a hedonistic series of encounters inspired Watermarks and Ignorance.
A couple others, One Fourth and Hard Frost, were inspired by the randomness of city life and by a desire to connect, even briefly, with someone in the midst of that chaos. Samuel Beckett's unreliable narrators and strange beauty inspired "It Was Not Midnight. It Was Not Raining."
Most recently, I posted La Pesa de Memoria / The Weight of Memory. I fought foreign grammer to write it in Spanish; I'm convinced the words to describe such romance in English falter in comparison.
9.18.04 10:56 pm
In the three years since I last wrote an entry in this "news" page, I've lived in Berkeley (CA), North Adams (MA), and Toronto.
I've completed my undergraduate studies with three majors (Theatre, Psychology and Spanish) and two minors (English and Liberal Arts).
I've transitioned into an early career as an administrator for an avant-garde theatre company.
I've stopped searching for love and acceptance but welcome both when they occur.
I continue to challenge myself: to learn and to create in various mediums.
5.14.01 8:30 p.m. Monday
i'll be leaving for California in a couple weeks, and i'll be spending the summer there, doing some fantastically artistic theatre work and enjoying my three months of summer salvation in liberal paradise before i return to the Midwest conservative Mecca. i'll try to update every now and then, but i don't know how much time and access i'll have. as i wind down from a hectic year, i'm just amazed that i have dealt so well with everything--i just felt like i was stretched so thin with all the time commitments here at college, and somehow i've managed to pull through intact and perhaps even better because of the struggle.
i think i've grown a lot this year... as a writer (generally essays, though, instead of the poetry and short stories of my past), student, and friend... it's been a pretty healthy year, emotionally--hard at times, but i haven't resorted to bad men to make myself feel better. i'm rather proud of that. *smiling* it's difficult, though, because for one of the first times in my life i feel really ready for a serious relationship (because i am happy being alone) and i have found no suitable options. i'm still searching for someone who will be a friend as well as a lover... a man who i can have intelligent conversations with about theatre, literature, philosophy, politics, or a hundred other things... and feel safe sleeping beside at night.
i'll try to update again before i leave for California, but if in the craziness of final exams and packing i lose sight of it, please go easily on me. in the meantime, i hope everyone is happy and well... *smiling*
~ Erin :)
4.13.2001 10:24 p.m. Friday
London was absolutely wonderful...
i saw the theatre museum, Les Miserables, and The Globe... along with lots of the other tourist things. but most of all, i was able to spend several days with my friend, catching up on old times and sharing the new ones...
as I talked with him, though, i began to think about this site, why it is here, and if it truly should be here at all. while i certainly have no plans to dismantle it (i've worked too hard assembling it over the years), i now feel less comfortable with my anonymity. of course, i've always known this site couldn't be anonymous--my name is listed everywhere to enforce my copyright--but i still had a sense of protection knowing that since the web is a virtually limitless place the people i knew would probably not stumble across my words... and now i know that isn't true, and that anything i post here can and possibly will be read by anyone, even those people i love and that therefore matter the most.
it's hard to think that someone i care about will read a poem or description that is unquestionably about him and be hurt by my words, but i also don't want to compromize myself, since this is one of the few sacred places i have to express myself--a place where, through the poetic quality of veiled ornamentation, i strive to express those thoughts and feelings that cannot be shown bare.
i've always prided myself on my honesty. i strive to be tactful and gentle without compromizing the truth. still, if i'm afraid people i know will be somehow more enlightened by the semi-cryptic words they read here, how honest can i really be?
3.18.2001 12:57 a.m. Sunday
i am incredibly excited; in just a few short days i will be with a friend in London, exploring the city and catching up on old and new times... *smiling*
please forgive the cynicism that accompanied Fourteenth... though i still feel Valentine's Day is a dreadful bastion of commercialism and co-dependence, i have accepted the fact that other people may be in relationships, even when i am not.
*grins* besides, i'm looking forward to the trip, and to seeing my friend again... perhaps it will inspire poetry, or perhaps not... but i will certainly try to update this site again with all the news when i return.
in the meantime, may you all lead wonderful, wonderful lives... *grins*
2.13.2001 1:42 a.m. Tuesday
this has been a hard day, and i am now single. read Fourteenth for the details, including the note below the poem...
1.19.2001 8:48 p.m. Friday
it's a new year, with a new set of problems. a friend of mine is going through some tough times right now. read Goodbye (https://www.angelfire.com/ri/poetryPalace/goodbye.html) to find out what is happening...
12.30.2000 8:55 p.m. Saturday
wow... it has been so long since i've updated this site. life has been busy, as always, but also incredibly blissful. i've been studying so much this year, but i have a couple more days of Christmas break before i head back to college...
i haven't done a whole lot of creative writing lately; most of my recent stuff has been in the critical analysis/evaluation vein. i love college, but i can't help but long for the day when i am again free to write creatively without the guilt of knowing i should be doing something else...
i think i'm going to suspend my search for a soulmate for a while. there is a very special man in my heart, and i have to give things time to see how they'll play out. in the meantime, though, i'm beginning to like the semi-single life (of caring for someone, but not dating anyone on this continent) and i'm meeting some lovely friends...
there are a few pieces of poetry that i'll add when i can... in the meantime, i have to get back to the daily grind. it's paying off, though... another perfect 4.0 semester! *grins* this brings my cumulative GPA up to a 3.94... (which would be a 4.0 if it weren't for the B in psychological statistics last year...) =-)
i've been putting some serious thought into where i will spend next summer, and it looks like San Francisco is the place to be. now i just need to find a job and a place to live... *grins*
it's a good world--even though that dreadful George Bush will soon be leading it... *laughs*
07.03.2000 8:12 p.m. Monday
wow... so much to say...
i'm in Wisconsin now, and my life here is really wonderful. i am working two jobs, and i've met so many wonderful people. i've met a man, too... he's a really wonderful person, and i think that things are going well...
i still haven't done much creative writing, but i've been writing pretty much every day in a journal so that i have a record of my experiences here. and i've done a bit of creative writing and have developed some groundwork for a story that i hope to continue tweaking this summer.
my internet access is really limited here; the only free access places are in the libraries, and since i'm not an official student here i don't have access. so i have to borrow people's computers and just sneak into labs when i can... consequently, my updating has been mostly in the form of the tree theory page and a few minor corrections elsewhere...
in general, life is good.
05.20.2000 4:22 p.m. Saturday
i have actually updated this site a few times since my last entry (Valentine's Day) on this page... but only a few poems and publication credits... there is still so much to add...
my life has been wonderful lately... so busy, but fulfilling... and i leave tomorrow for Wisconsin... *softly smiling* i'll update this site as much as possible over the summer months, but can't promise to add as much as i'd like... if nothing else, i have a few more poems i need to post... and i'm hoping the change of scenery will inspire me to write more...
*softly smiling* you are beautiful.... each and every one of you...
~ Erin
02.14.2000 11:32 p.m. Monday ~ Valentine's Day
this is such a sad day to be alone...
a single woman always notices the couples... and often wishes she were part of one... but seldom does the heart ache as much as on Valentine's Day... the strangest and most commercially sentimental day of the year...
i don't need a man... i am perfectly self-sufficient... and i'm strong... besides, i'm a feminist... *laughing* but still... there are nights where i'd really like to be held close in someone's arms...
sadly, the most suitable arms are often already holding someone else...
this is my current mindset... the mindset that inspired Candy Hearts...
i know this poem is a bit vague... and its meaning may be unclear, so please feel free to e-mail me with any questions you may have...
~ peace and love... bare your soles...
~ Erin
02.10.2000 1:01 a.m. Thursday
late last night (and extending into the past hour or so) i decided to update this site... as i had been neglecting it with all the college time-crunches... *soft smile*
it's amazing how much of my time is devoted to scholarly reading now... *sigh* and i actually feel guilty when i try to read something i enjoy or produce my own creative writing... because i know there is a heap of required projects assigned already....
anyway, i've done a bit of tinkering tonight.. i added a new memoir, Epiphany, the one i promised in the last update...
i also made a huge renovation on the poetry index page... (switching from the rose decor which i've kept for many months to a new group of photos from a talented friend and artist, Stan Charbonneau...) and completely altering the layout... now it is a very visual presentation... =-)
ah yes... by the way... if you happen to be one of the delightful folks that has e-mailed me within the past month or so and hasn't yet received a response, please forgive me... and don't take it personally... i've just been so swamped with school that i haven't had time to keep in contact with the important people in my life... *soft smile* so... if you're reading this... just know i care...
01.21.2000 9:35 p.m. Friday
i just finished my intense three week course on women's writing, and i will post a few segments of my memoir that i wrote as part of the class... in the meantime, i am packing and preparing to drive up to Madison again... not to see anyone in particular this time, but just to visit the city... i'd like to listen to a concert at one of the coffeehouses and will probably see a few exhibits at area museums... if all goes well, perhaps some poetry or story ideas will emerge from the trip...
01.14.2000 4:02 p.m. Friday
just a quick update... i added a bit of the tree theory... and will add more later...
12.16.99 12:50 a.m. Thursday
just added Modern Art... the poem is an extension of images and memories.. you can learn more about it by reading my autobiography...
12.12.99 2:09 a.m. Sunday
ah... yes... i know it has been a while since i have updated here... but haven't been writing as much poetry as usual...
however, i just added an interesting read: the autobiography i wrote for sociology class... i debated whether or not to post it, because it betrays so many secrets... but it's here for now, and here it shall remain until i give in to the fear that someone i know and/or love will see it...
also updated a couple things on the page about me... took the official 500 question purity test in an effort to procrastinate a bit during finals week and posted the new score... also added a new take on the tree theory...
11.14.99 4:35 p.m. Sunday
i just added Whisper
i've come to terms with the popups from angelfire... if you minimize the window without closing it entirely, it should stay open beneath the other windows without popping up again. i've also been told that disabling javascript will stop the popups from functioning... ;-)
10.30.99 7:30 p.m. Saturday
just posted Split Screen
10.24.99 4:20 p.m. Sunday
just finished typing up a research paper on the symbolism in Ibsen's Wild Duck... *laughing* i'd post it, but i doubt that's what you're seeking here... *smiles*
i've been so incredibly busy... and haven't been writing much... really, i've tried to write... but i can't finish anything... [aw, mom... just let me sleep ten more minutes...]
i've been thinking about trying some new styles of writing... perhaps trying my hand at writing a play or going back to short stories for a while... though i think what i need more than anything is some real life inspiration... *softly smiling* [yes, this goes back to my search for a soulmate... still looking... *laughs*]
college is nice, and i love the theatre... [two weeks 'till showtime... yahoo!] *giddy laughter and dancing the hula*
10.06.99 2:46 p.m. Wednesday
just posted Earth Tones...
i worked on the poetry index page, trying to minimize the cross-platform problems... but it won't show up like it should... even with proper hex codes... *sigh* well... at least there is plenty of room for individual interpretation... *laughs*
9.27.99 3:25 p.m. Monday
wow. i just got a browser cross-compatability wake-up call... *laughs* i created this site using my home computer... 800x600 res, with IE 4 or 5... and seeing it here through another window is really sad... i need to do a lot of work to make it look good on Netscape and older versions of IE... *sigh* i don't have the time to do it yet, but it'll happen.. *laughs*
my poetry has been kind of pushed aside so i can keep up with the college work... but i'm still writing when i can... and i'll post here when time permits... *soft smile*
9.21.99 6:32 p.m. Tuesday
just added Concepts of Peace... another poem inspired by Madison... *soft smile* more about that later...
i made the play! *grins* [more about that at next update... i'm late for rehearsal now... *laughs*]
9.12.99 7:13 p.m. Sunday
i've been working more on Skin Deep [wonder what it is? read 8.26 and 8.30 entries] it is coming along quite nicely... added a couple more pages of material. still needs lots of work... i have so much i want to do with these characters...
just posted Soliloquy, a poem i wrote for my Intro to Theatre class. it is extremely crafted... an explanation is written below the poem, and i can explain more if you'd like... just mail me...
i'll be taking a break next weekend... driving up to WI again... and seeking inspiration... *smiling softly* perhaps the results will end up here? come back and check... =-)
9.05.99 4:14 p.m. Sunday
~ just added Tides, a poem inspired by my grandfather...
8.30.99 4:00 p.m. [central time]
i'm at MacMurray now, and my computer time is pretty limited... so i'll be able to update this site less frequently than before. Have no fear, though... i'll keep writing and posting when i can. i posted a few scenes from Skin Deep, the story i'm working on now, at Bianca's and got remarkable feedback, so i think i've got it... and i'll continue with it the way it is... but until i get a better grip on it, i probably won't add it here... =-)
keep contact with me through my e-mail addy... and if you'd like to send cookies, etc... write... i may just send you the box number and my eternal gratitude. *grins*
8.26.99 1:39 a.m. [according to my internal clock.. and the coffeemaker's electric green digits]
wow. life. hectic. busy. amazing.
i leave for college Saturday. classes start Tuesday. please forgive me if i don't update quite as often as i have this summer... i need to adjust to campus life first. have no fear; i will be here in bits and pieces of life flowing like the nile from my pen like the mississippi [i double s, i double s, i double p, i..] changing direction in mid flow and bringing life to your lips.
Skin Deep. a story. i'm writing scene by scene. letter by letter, line by line, in a plot that is as internally driven as it is a product of external society. please don't try to understand me. just watch.
then buy the book. just $6 bucks American, and that includes postage anywhere in this lovely continental US. click on 'help me pay my rent' at the bottom of the page.
love me. make love to me. smile to yourself when as you sit at the bus stop and i am nude before you, a makeshift mirage of duct-taped memories... think of me when it rains.
2:21 a.m. same day. same place. same line of thought.
just posted Greyhound i like this feeling... thank you... [.. and if you're reading this.. you'll know who you are...] for the inspiration...
08.23.99 1:35 a.m. (central time)
~ added Sensory Obsession
~ my life is an open book ~ i need you to turn the pages ~
~ smiles ~ thanks ~
08.21.99 10:45 p.m. (central time)
~ added Betty Crocker
08.19.99 10:16 p.m. (central time)
~ finished Sunday Evening, a poem i started in Madison sitting on a bench in the night alone... and completed here...
~ feeling a bit cynical at the moment... reflected in my latest piece... Revelations...
~ i did a bit of work to this page... moved older news to another page, etc...
~ also updated the index page... gave it a more advanced look.. *smiling*
08.18.99 3:00 a.m. (central time)
~ ouch... pain pills are wearing off... but at all four wisdom teeth are out and resting in pieces in their plastic souvenier tomb...
~ have an interesting poem to add to this showcase... not to be taken too seriously... i laughed when i wrote it... see Dumped for details... *grins*
~ at the moment i am going through the webrings... deleting those that have been abandoned by their masters or mistresses... and adding new ones to fill their spaces...
08.15.99 5:02 p.m.
my last day in Madison... God, i love this town... *grins*
will be doing more updating soon... when i get back i will have four wisdom teeth harvested from my fertile gums... so i'll be sore and chipmunk-faced for a while... making the internet a great place for me to lose myself... =-)
i'm now registered at Bianca's! *giddy grin* many thanks to my friend Mike... he's wonderful... *dancing around and singing* i'm legal!
08.13.99 (Friday the 13th!) about 4:45 p.m.... not wearing a watch...
*elated sigh* God, i love Madison... am writing now from Laundry 101... a hip place that combines the washer/dryer scene with internet access and a full coffee bar... *grins* this is Heaven...
i've written a few pieces of poetry... but like a dodo i forgot to bring them... but i plan to update again around Sun/Monday...
08.10.99 10:18 p.m.
~ i'm taking a little trip... will be back in a few days... probably with lots of poetic inspiration... *grins* i'll update then...
08.08.99 3:03 p.m.
~ just added Promised Land...
~ also posted another poem under the Madison Series ~ see Voyeuristic Tendencies...
~ and just finished typing & formatting a poem about one of the men i love the most ~ i had a scare recently... and almost lost him ~ read For My Grandpa and its explanation below the poem for details...
08.04.99 12:42 a.m.
~ my crazy neighbors are screaming outside... probably drunk again... they were last night... but even that doesn't bother me now... i have finished Candied Nothings! the chapbook is complete and ready to go; i have printed and sold several already, but i am waiting on a new toner cartridge for the copy machine before i can create any more...
~ the lady that runs the local newspaper wants to interview me about it ~ this is both wonderful and scary ~ these poems aren't exactly the tame kind, and some are incredibly similar to real people.... with too much press, this may be discovered... *softly smiling*
~ you can find more information about Candied Nothings, including the Table of Contents and a page about the author. order your copy today! *grins*
