stones

i am living in a glass apartment

i did not ask for this--

i did not thow these stones...
i barely held them 
in my ivory hands
for one still moment
before laying them down
at my feet
and moving
on

the circus is in town
and the crowd files by
to stare

i am the bearded lady 
before them,
shining star
turned
sideshow freak,
present for their 
viewing pleasure

file by and laugh
like overgrown children,
pink pug noses
pressed against
transparent doors...
eyes wide...
watching...

you must be this tall to ride
and then,
only if you can afford
to pay,

so they toss their two cents
in the pot
and keep the line
moving

the kind ones wave

the others watch 
in cruel curiousity
as teenage tears
trail down 
my human cheek:

they cling to the contour
of my chin
before slipping,
shattering,
fading
into the blinding 
spotlight's glow

silently i watch 
as one bends over,
human fingers finding
another stone:

he runs his thumb across
its smooth surface,
then draws back his arm
to throw 
again