I placed a cup of steaming coffee
before him at the counter.
He said he was in town on business.
He was 26,
with chocolate eyes
and experienced hands.
There was a pale
white circle on his finger
where his wedding ring
should have been.
His glands oozed the sexy scent of Aspen
and had a smile so friendly
and contagious
that I couldn’t help
but join him.
He thought I was 23.
I let him think it.
8:03 p.m.
He asked if I had plans that night.
He smiled his amazing grin
exposing picket fencepost teeth
so white and perfect.
I agreed to meet him
in his room
that night.
10:16 p.m.
The light of several candles
flickered on the white walls
of his motel room.
He pressed his lips to my cheek,
kissing it softly,
then trailed his kisses
down my neck.
All restraint lost beneath him,
I became his student
in the art of seduction.
He was my master,
and I was his eager apprentice
until evening faded
into early morning
and we both lied entwined,
exhausted.
Heaving chests calmed
and muscles relaxed
as we fell asleep
in each other’s arms.
2:56 a.m.
I was awakened
by my conscience,
and I stared
at the red display
on the digital clock
beside the bed.
I felt his body
nestled behind me,
cradling my curves
with his own.
I thought of you.
3:08 a.m.
I turned away
from his warm arms
that had encircled my waist
in slumber
and rose from the bed,
dressing myself in the dark.
3:15 a.m.
I drove home,
squinting to see the road
through eyes brimmed with tears
and I sat at my desk
trying to write the words
to make you understand
what I did with him tonight.
3:42 a.m.
The paper is blank,
and several crumpled pieces
lay on the floor,
but there is no explanation--
no rationalization
to justify
what I’ve done.
I give up...
lie down in bed.
The tears flow again,
and I cradle my knees
to my chest.
I drift into a shallow slumber
praying I won’t awaken
but knowing--
fearing--
I will.
