Bloody Tears

"We're loosing her!"
"Clear!"
I sank farther into the chair and covered my face, trying not to hear the doctor's shouts from the Sick Bay's emergency room.
A thin, heart-shattering wail peirced my heart like an arrow, a mewl of pain that made my few remaining tattered feathers stand on end. I stood and entered the emergency room, shoving by a pair of nurses who looked like they wouldn't touch me with a ten foot cattleprod.
The doctors shouted at each other, and I saw the shock pads about to be applied again. I tore the doctors away, shoving them away from the table. They stared at me, not understanding.
I cradled my teammate's limp body in my arms a moment, feeling my eyes burn slightly for a moment.
"SIR!" Cried one of the doctors.
"Try to recessitate her again and I will kill you." I rasped, slowly lying her back down and closing her eyes.
"B-but sir! If we can..."
I just looked at him, then pulled out a knife. As fighters we keep dogtags around our neck, and one laced into our boots. I cut her bootlace and silently pulled off the dogtag.
"She needs those tags soldier."
"She only needs one for ID." I replied harshly, and walked away. Once out of the room I reached up and undid one of the chains around my neck. One holds my personal tags, the other holds 18 tags, all with different names. I added the 19th and put it back on.
"You know why she died don't you son?" A doctor came out and touched my shoulder.
"Yes." Oh I knew all too well!
"Care to tell me?"
"Fuck off. If we had been picked up at the correct time she wouldn't be dead. None would be." I stormed out of the waiting room.
I wandered the small ship aimlessly, hugging my jacket tight around myself. I had forgotten how cold it was on spaceships. Stray soldiers and personell leapt out of my way, staring. Probably thought I looked like something out of a cheap horror movie. I couldn't have cared less what they thought. Not anymore. Not as the same poison which had killed Avi ate away at me, while the antidote fought it and failed. Maybe I would live and maybe I wouldn't. Shit I didn't care anymore...
I ended up standing on an observation deck, staring out at space with was blurred by hyperspeed and not really seeing it, hands in my jacket pockets. Pain tingled numbly where the viral poison ate at me, but I was used to it and ignored it.
Footsteps behind me, and three people entered the observation deck, talking and laughing. They fell silent when they saw me.
Once upon a time I was rather pleasent looking, but now I could have passed for a zombie or some other monster. I'm a falcon, and less then a year ago my feathers were soft blue-grey and beige, glowing with health. Now only about half were left, hanging limp and ratty, stained nearly black with a combination of camo paint, blood, and dirt. My skin showed in patches, bloody and scorched, mangled by acid in places. My once bright hazel eyes are now flat and clouded over. My clothing was torn, burned in places, stained like my feathers. A high impact laser-round sniper rifle was slung over my shouder, stock covered in tally marks. One mark for one Venomian. There are over a thousand marks.
"Good god." One breathed. "He looks half dead."
"Well fuck you too." I sweetly replied. "I might as well be dead, actually its an appealing idea." Even my voice has changed, coming out as a roughened growl at best.
"Army?" One finally choaked out.
"Yeah and what's it to ya?"
"What division?"
"Guerilla squad. The 212." I turned to look at them, taking sick pleasure in the fact that the rookie trio backed up some more.
"But I thought the 212 was dead!"
"You heard right. We are."

One is conditioned to expect certain things sometimes.
I expected my family waiting for me. I expected some high-ranker waiting for a report. What da hell, let's throw in a marching band while I'm dreaming!
Because all there was waiting on that long landing strip was a long black car.
I walked down that cold metal ramp and watched the funeral people carry Avi in a silver coffin covered with a flag, and load her into that long black car.
"Well Avi, you're home." I whispered.
I stood there, looking around. Nothing, nobody.
Three strips over the Great Fox stood, apparently trying to take off, but the pilots were swamped with reporters. I counted four pilots, none injured.
Rage began to burn. Well you all survived you fucking glory hounds! And I come back, the one survivor who might or might not live, and I am ignored? Forgotten? Presumed dead? I stomped across the runways and stood at the edge of the crowd of reporters, listening and watching.
McCloud whistled for silence, then said, "Sorry folks, but we've got to take off, so..."
"Oh I'm sure you do." I said loudly. "Board your expensive little cruiser and fly away in your nicely armored planes to find some other villain to 'defeat'. HA!"
"Who said that?!" He demanded, crossing his arms. Reporters parted so he could see me.
"Some fucking hero I saw." I continued. "You're nothing but a glory hound, Fox McCloud, and that goes for your entire team."
"Who da hell are you?" Lombardi demanded.
"Someone who knows what he's talking about."
"Bullshit."
"Wait Falco." Hare said, looking at me seriously. I felt his empathy touch my mind and hastily draw away. "He's serious. What's your name soldier?"
"White. Carl White of the 212." Well maybe I could respect hare, being that he was a veteren. Maybe.
"You're a guerilla then."
"No shit Sherlock." Pain bit at me but it was just annoying, so I ignored it.
Falco sent the reporters on their way and stalked inside the ship, wanting nothing to do with me. The feeling was MORE then mutual.
Hare glanced at Toad and McCloud and silently nodded toward the ship. They silently followed Falco, and Hare strolled up to me, taking in the acid burns and other ailments. "Have those been tended to?"
"No and why do you care?"
He ignored my question. "Well why haven't they White?"
"No access to medicine, and when I was picked up the docs were too busy trying to save the one other squad member who made it to the pickup zone." Why not tell him?
"Ah... Well even if you don't care for us, you should board and let our medbot clean you up."
I don't know why I followed up onto the Great Fox. My feet followed even as my mind considered various ways of telling him off. I might be nuts but I was hurt, so my sane and hurting body went where it could be helped.
He silently looked on, horrified as the medbot uncovered gaping wounds, fractured ribs, burns (fire, acid, cold), and the rest of my various ailments. I sat there on the examination table in the cold, cold Sick Bay, shirtless, and listened to the stunned prattle of the medbot. According to it I had no real right to be alive. A body can take a phenominal amount of damage and still function, even if various robots and doctors were stunned.
"There is also some sort of toxin in the blood and tissue that..." Prattled the robot.
"Shut up you bolt bucket you're giving me a migrane." I growled.
It continued to make a list on a comp screen as it cleaned one of the wounds on my back, making it bleed some more. Hare looked faint. I shot him a look. "Coffee. Asprin."
He left and returned with a mug and a medicine bottle. I swallowed six of the painkillers and took my time with the coffee.
"Underfed and malnourished." Babbled the medbot. "Blood poisoning and infection evident..."
"Shut up dammit!" I roared at it.
It squealed in an approximation of fear, slapped some skin-absorbing medicine pads on me to fight various infections, and rattled away to do some more blood tests.
"Don't like robots eh?" Hare asked.
"The last one I had contact with was a Venomian combat droid." I growled.
"oh..."
"Why the fuck are you so interested in me anyway?" I flared. Truthfully I felt damn idiodic. I was sitting in a freezing spaceship talking to someone I wasn't too fond of, dressed only in my ruined camo pants.
He rubbed his chin, then said, "Because you are a fellow soldier and I would very much like to hear your story."
"Shit.." I moaned, rubbing my battered beak. Numbing exhaustion was crawing over me now. I hadn't slept in...days... weeks maybe...
"But first you ought to crash. You got someplace to go?"
That fucking empath! My voice flat refused to come out, much to my disgust, so I looked at him and shook my head.
The door banged open, and a pissed looking Lombardi came in. He shot me a glare then turned to his teammate. "So is our esteemed visitor staying the night?" He inquired, sarcasm dripping from his voice.
"Cool it Falco. He hasn't got anywhere else to go right now."
ME? Here all night on this freezing hellhole they called a cruiser? I was too tired to protest anymore. That fucking robot had tranked me.
"Well mi casa es su casa!" Enough sarcasm dripped from Lombardi's voice for a hurricane and a tornado or two.
"Falco." Hare said gently.
"HAH!" He turned and stormed out.
Hare turned to me. "Sorry about that."
"He's an asshole." I grumbled.
"Many think that when he's in a bad mood, and you didn't exactly start out on the right foot with him."
"I'm gonna kill that fucking medbot...it sedated me!"
"All due respect son, but you needed it." He let me sleep in the sickbay, on the basis it would be better for me to bleed all over the sickbay rather then all over a spare cabin. That asshole.

I woke up to the robot's poking cold fingers. I reacted mindlessly, swinging up and behind me, clodcloping the medbot across its head. It ran squeaking for the door, running into McCloud (who happened to be standing there), then falling over and going limp.
"NICE move." McCloud stepped over the medbot.
I mumbled something not-to-nice.
"What was that again?"
I lifted my head from the pillow I found it was buried in. "Nevermind."
"Sounded obscene..."
"You got a fucking problem with that?"
He froze, then said, "My father--the former wingleader of StarFox--disliked profanity and asked for as little to be used as possible."
"How sentimental." I buried my face back into the pillow.
"So...since you're my guest..."
"Mmmmph."
"How exactly did you get all that anyway?" He was standing beside the bunk now, looking down at my mangled back.
"Not ur bizzznessss." That's clear through a pillow.
"On the account that you're in my sickbay, I think it is."
A certain trembling robot said, "I... I think that most of the wounds were done on purpose!"
"What?"
"Pwalsssski."
"Come again?"
I lifted my face. "Leon fucking Powalski."
Stunned silence.
"Insane mother-fucking bastard was a pilot sure but preferred interrogating enemy soldiers." I rolled and sat up, too awake and irritated to sleep, and besides, its hard to talk when one's beak is in a pillow.
He just looked at me in stunned horror, then finally said, "He was a sadistic pilot..."
"His methods of interrogation made... Made Andross look like a perfectly law abiding citizen. Ever hear someone die from torture?" I looked him right in the eye and said softly, "They don't die quietly."
He looked a bit pale, and swallowed several times over, helping the medbot up.
"I've got to do some skin grafts." Announced the robot, studying me.
McCloud swallowed and disappeared out the door.
In this day and age a skin graft is simple really. Hell it comes in rolls like plastic wrap. Looks like it too, but when it contacts warmth and blood, the skin sees about becoming part of the body its been set on, and there it stays until the skin underneith is healed, when it flakes off like a sunburn. It burns some when activating, but I was able to ignore it. You also have to sit still for five or so minutes, something I'm not too good at.
An hour or so later I was patched up fairly well, but the robot said I would be lucky if all my feathers came back. Shit I was just happy not to be bleeding.
"Your blood tests don't come out right...if you leave you must go into a hospital." The robot told me in a you-listen-to-me-good voice.
"How long?" I replied in a go-to-hell-in-a-handbasket voice.
"Two or three weeks. Or you could stay on board or go to a hospital."
I sat there and rubbed one of the new skin patches on my arms. "What's the damn problem? I'm not bleeding." Had the stupid thing found the biopoison in me or something?
"If the medbot says you need hospital attention its probably right." Hare came in and tossed me some clothing, which I caught automatically.
"I hate hospitals, and excuse me if I'm wrong, but Lombardi hates me, and I think McCloud is scared of me."
"Broken ribs." Said the medbot. "And I'm trying to straighten out the blood tests but something is wrong, and I want to find out what."
I grumbled to myself.
"Give it some thought." Hare left again.
The clothes he had were army regulation greens, in my size. I put them on in vain hopes I'd stay warmer in this frozen hellhole of a ship, and paced, broken talons clicking the metal floor.
What choices did I have? None good. A frozen ship, a hospital, a home that thought I was dead. I practically was. No friends who'd know me now. War is a harsh bitch and I had changed thanks to it.
Well shit, what now?
Hare seemed to be trying to befriend me, but he just wanted to hear my story. Maybe there was an offer of friendship really there, maybe not. Either way I didn't trust him yet, and if I stayed here, I would also have to deal with robots (ugh), Lombardi (double ugh, that asshole), the other glory hounds (Toad I hadn't met and McCloud I wasn't sure about yet), and a fucking COLD ship.
Hospitals meant rules, prodding doctors, probably head shrinkers, staring nurses, et cetera, and throw in a hospital and no privacy...
So which was the lesser of the hells?
"So how's the guest doing to-day?" Said a sarcasm-wrapped voice.
"Actually he's improved." The medbot started.
"I just heard you might be staying on-board, Mr. Hero." Lombardi glared.
I suddenly thought that it might be fun just sticking around to annoy him. What was he going to do beat me up? HA, fat chance of that happening! "I think I might be, got a problem with that?"
He snarled to himself and left the doorway. I heard him storming down the corridor. "PEPPY!"
I chortled. Oh yes this could be fun indeed.

Luckily the food wasn't too bad as I shortly found out.
After raiding the galley I strolled around absently. Really for a frozen hell like the Great Fox, it wasn't laid out too bad--or at least I hadn't gotten lost yet.
Approaching the rec room, I heard the TV on, as well as a girl's giggling voice and Lombardi muttering replies.
Well well. Lombardi has a girlfriend? No accounting for tastes I guess. I stuck my head through the half open door. Lombardi was comfortably slouched on a couch, and the girl was basically sitting on his lap, leaning into his chest and arms around him.
Oh this was too good to pass up!! "How cozy." I remarked.
Lombardi jumped and scowled at me, looking like he was deciding what words to use when he cussed me out. The girl-a cat-twisted to look at me in surprise.
"Having fun Lombardi?" I continued.
"Go to hell White." He spat.
"Been there and done that."
"Who are you?" The girl asked.
Lombardi muttered something none to kind about me freeloading on the Great Fox.
"Now, now, flyboy." So much sugar was in her voice I wanted to gag. "I wanted to know his name not what you think of him!"
I wondered briefly if I should be nice to her. "Who wants to know?"
"Katt Monroe."
"Carl White of the 212."
"I thought that the 2...oh..." She trailed off.
"Afraid so. Fucking high-rankers didn't pick us up, so the Venomians picked us off, one by one."
She looked stunned, and Lombardi snapped, "Unlike Peppy I have no wish to know what happened, so for all I care you could have died with the rest of your ground pounders!!"
"Falco!" Monroe protested.
I was less then impressed. "OOO! Make you mad did I? Like I could give a fuck..."
"BOYS!!!" Monroe shouted.
I laughed and withdrew my head from the half-open door, reconsidered, and stuck my head back in. "You know Lombardi you you want to flirt and carry on, for god's sake get a room!!"
I walked down the corridor, listening to Lombardi rather colorfully cuss me out, then Monroe thoughtfully said, "Not such a bad idea...", sending her boyfriend into sputters.
"Not getting along with Falco eh?" Hare appeared and handed me a mug of black coffee.
"No shit." I accepted the mug.
He laughed. "Loosen up Carl!"
"Gimmee a good reason to."
"The wars over, how's that?"
I had no reply to that, so I just looked at him.
"And if you ever feel like telling your story I would be very interested in hearing it."
"Nosy bastard!" I spat. "I don't have a story!"
"Oh of course you do. Everyone does son. And sometimes sharing it can ease the pain and take the weight off your shoulders...or in this case," he reached out and caught the second, heavier chain around my neck, looking at the 19 tags. "From around your neck."
I pulled away from him. "Leave me the fuck alone!"
He blinked.
Hare wasn't much. He was rather short and chubby, middle aged, fur silvering here and there. But he was a kind-hearted old guy...
I turned away from him and trudged down the hallway, still holding the coffee mug. The poison bit at me harder then it usually did, making pain wrack my body.
"Shared pain is less son." Hare quietly remarked. "And I'm not so much nosy as worried. You know what's going on don't know..."
Strange. Cussing at and insulting Lombardi was amusing but doing the same to Hare made me feel a bit guilty.
I wandered blindly and ended up standing in the lower end of the bay. I stood there, blinking, then slowly sat on an empty metal table, shivering. The poison bit but the antidote appeared to be holding it back..
I touched my arm, remembering the needle plunging in, the biopoison burning on entry, and the needle being ripped out again.
"HEY CARL! Soul grind!" Cried a voice I knew, a voice I carried with me.
I snapped my head up, for a moment daring to beleive.... But no one was there. The bay was silent, cold.
"You're hearing things!" I snarled at myself angrily. "She's dead! Get over it!"
Yet...
I stared at the Landmaster tank, and saw a flash, and there was Avi, in civvies and grindtechs, doing a soul grind down the long barrel of a Rangewar tank. She leapt before reaching the end...
...and fell, like in slow motion. The Venomian who had hit her from behind still stood there, ready to hit her again.
I tried to scream in rage, but I couldn't move, couldn't make a sound. All I could do was watch.
Avi hit the ground, flipped in that odd twist-kick of hers, catching her attacker behind the knees. The Venomian fell, and she was in motion, taking the gun, pressing the barrel to his throat, and pulling the trigger. Blood splattered up, as the Venomian lost most of his neck. He silently screamed, and died.
There was a blur as someone leapt from the branches above, not falling, but a controlled leap. He landed lightly and struck a pose. Venomain Special forces, he didn't bother with camo. No uniform jacket. Black boots, dark blue pants, dark blue tank top. Insane amber eyes, scales in changing shades of green, claws dangerously hooked.
Powalski. I tried again to scream a warning to Avi, but I was paralized completely, still unable to move.
Avi let out a warcry, an eagle screach of rage, and stepped into a fighting pose, cocking the gun.
But he just laughed, high and maniacal, and circled her, almost prancing. Teasing, taunting. She turned to face him each time, snarling, gun tracking him. "Coward!!" She roared. "Quit dancing and fight me!"
Another laugh, but more sinister this time. "Little birdie." He crooned, swaying like a cobra. "Aw little birdie wants to hurt me..."
She screamed in rage and leapt, only to end up pinned on the ground. He wiggled an eyebrow, and laughed, straddling her on purpose, one muscular arm keeping her pinned to the ground. "Naughty naughty." He crooned. "Maybe I'll teach you a thing or two later...alone..."
She tossed him and rolled to her feet, grabbing the gun and swinging it to point at him. He threw something and it exploded in a brilliant flash, she cried out and fell backwards...
...and hit a cold cement floor. She was sobbing, bleeding in places...but worst was that by the torn state of her clothes, the tremble that wracked her body, and by the hurting, empty look in her eyes, Leon had done something that had a lot more to do with personal satisfaction then with interrogation...
I had never been so enraged in my life, so completely angry. I wanted to comfort her if I could, hold her, then go after her assualter... but as the trend was I could not move.
A guard came into her cell, and nudged her. She was now curled up in a tight ball on the floor, unresponsive at first then looking at him when he nearly kicked her. He made a lewd comment or two on Leon's handiwork, snickering, sarcastically asking if she had enjoyed it then wondering out loud if Leon was willing to share.
She just turned away and hugged herself silently, no strength anymore to reply...
I slapped myself and shook my head, and saw the inside of the bay again. My eyes were burning, and I trembled a little, though I quickly put an to the last. I am not a weakling.
But as I stood and staggered out of the bay, my eyes refused to stop burning.

That evening I was allowed to crash in one of the spare cabins. It was an improvement over Sickbay but not the Ritz by any means.
I was retreating there from Sickbay when I heard another girl's voice.
"You let someone you don't know anything about on board? Oh I'm surprised, you always act like this ship is your precious baby." Teased the voice.
"First, Peppy invited him. He's a groundpounder, and was hurt..." Said McCloud. "Second I should show you the size of the debt left on this thing...."
"Oh the big hero is in debt?" I strolled onto the observation deck.
McCloud jumped in surprise then glared. The girl was a slender vixen in uniform, who looked me over.
"Well McCloud? You doing to introduce us?"
"Fara this is Carl White of the late 212. White, this is Fara Phoenix, a pilot, and test pilot for Arspace Dynamics."
We shook hands.
"A pleasure." She said simply.
I nodded, mentally muttering about McClouds accurate but unneeded comment about the 'late' 212.
Phoenix crossed her arms and studied the patched and healing skin she could see, apparently trying to take stock on how injured I had been. I thought about making a comment on that and about how I had become injured thanks to certain asshole high rankers, but something I suddenly realized stopped me. Phoenix reminded me of Avi in many small ways. Same sort of build-slight, but tough as wire and strong as steel, same posture-proud and confident, and that same sort of aura that broadcasted expertise.
I shook myself awake.
McCloud hardened his glare, apparently trying to stare me into the floor.
"Is something wrong?" Phoenix asked, blinking.
"You remind me of someone that's all." I passed her and looked out the observation window, crossing my arms.
"Oh."
The loudspeaker crackled then the high squeaky voice of Toad came through. "ROB says you forgot to say hi." He remarked.
Fara laughed. "All right all right." She left the room.
"Your girlfriend?" I looked at McCloud over my shoulder.
"None of your business, but yes, on and off."
"You're a lucky guy." I heard myself say, then looked out the window glass again.

"Your ribs have improved." The medbot remarked, peering inside me with a hand x-ray scanner.
"Hooray." I growled.
"And I see your freathers are coming back in."
About half of the skin that showed was now covered in down. "Yeah but not all of it is."
"Count your blessings."
I shook a finger in front of its front optic sensors, in warning. It shut up and rattled out of the room.
"You really out to be nicer to that poor thing." Phoenix's voice chided and she leaned on the doorframe absently.
I jumped. "GOD! Don't scare me like that."
"Oh sorry." She flicked an ear.
I had dumped my tank top, shirt, and uniform jacket (where the hell Hare was getting me uniforms I didn't know) in a rather untidy heap on an examination table. I sought about untangling them. Phoenix didn't move, just maintained her position and silently watched me. My back is quite probably the most ripped apart part of me, so apparently she was looking at my various healing injuries. It still made me uncomfortable. Shit I could feel her eyes boring into me. As if I'm not jittery enough?! "DO YOU MIND?" I asked looking over my shoulder at her.
"Not at all."
"Well I do!" I grumbled, pulling my tank top on once I had gotten it sorted out from my shirt and jacket. That made me feel a bit more comfortable.
"Well excuse me Carl."
"You're excused." I tucked my shirt in and pulled my jacket on.
"Har de har." Pause, then, "Where were you stationed?"
"Zoness."
"Katt's from there..."
"Wouldn't know." I shrugged. "I pound ground not fly planes." I made an attempt at leaving the room, but she continued to block the doorway.
"Explain something to me." She said. "If you're healing so well why aren't you going home?"
"I don't know if I have a home to go to."
She blushed. "Sorry...." and let me by.
"That's okay I guess." I shrugged again, trying to hide my unease.
"Want some coffee?"
"Wouldn't mind."
The rec room had a coffee machine. She poured two generous mugs and handed me one. "I've heard various reports on you, ranging from none-to-friendly to rather concerned."
"First opinion's Lombardi...we don't get along. Hare must be the concerned one but damned if I know why."
She looked me in the eye seriously. "Look Carl. Peppy's an amiable old guy and you have no right to treat him--or the rest of the team--like crap. His empathy has tabbed you ever since you first set foot on board, and knows you need help."
"No I don't." I muttered, looking right back into her eyes.
"He asked me to talk to you Carl. You're always in pain he says..."
I stayed silent, busily trying not to fall into her eyes (corny but that's the best phrase...eyes so dark and pretty you can just fall into them).
"And even if you never say why you're so enraged etc, he wants you to come clean about why you're hurting..."
"I'll think about it." I mumbled and retreated to my cabin, closed the door then leaning on it, sliding to the floor slowly.
Perfect, just grand.
On top of everything a crush on Phoenix!
Lovely.

Now that I could really help it of course. Why? Hell I didn't know. Whatever the reason was, it didn't make being on the Great Fox, that was isolated in orbit, any easier, especially with an empath on board as well. I decided to try not to act oddly, because I figured the last thing I needed was anyone finding out.
It also gave her some power over me unfortunately. She pestered me until I told everyone just what was wrong with me, or more like I told the medbot who told everyone. It didn't make Hare happy. At all.
"BIOPOISON?!" Hare nearly shouted at me when he found out. "That shit is fatal Carl! You said you took an antidote..."
More like I was force-given it...
"But you aren't even sure if it was the right one, or if it was enough!"
Give me a break, man. Lay off.
"YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO WITHHOLD THAT!" He continued to bawl at me, pissed. It was a one sided conversation: He gave me a talking to while I listened and weakly wondered why I had given in to Phoenix.
"Pay attention!"
I sighed. "Hare, for the love of God, lay off me!"
He sensed something somehow, and shut up. He twitched his whiskers a few times, and I felt his empathy brush me.
"Do you MIND?! Shit! Brain wading without consent, thanks a lot!"
"Sorry... Oh god." He breathed the last two words, eyes widening. "That's why you didn't tell us... When you got the antidote it wasn't meant for you it was meant for someone else." The anger drained from his eyes and was replaced by sympathy, concern, and curiousity.
I moaned mentally. "Are you fucking sure you aren't telepathic?"
"Quite. But my empathy is very advanced. Emotions and sometimes images tell a story better then thoughts or words. Oh, Carl... I think I owe you a very large appology..." He seemed badly shaken.
I looked at him for several moments, feathers fluffed out, then said, "What did you see?"
"I..." He flopped down in an easy chair and rubbed his temples, half-closing his eyes. I sat down across from h im, curious. "I've looked at you with my empathy before you know." He remarked distantly. "The first time I did I didn't get anything but a wall of sheer pain and that's why you're here right now, Carl. I wasn't going to let you suffer and I didn't care what everyone else felt. Until a few moments ago I'd just glance at you, and all that pain..."
"I don't notice it anymore." I admitted. "I've grown used to it." Really my foulness when I had arrived on Corneria and a little before had a lot to do with my health and exhaustion. As I was mostly healed and well rested I had been less obscene lately... And now I knew why Hare had invited me on board, and he knew how I felt. For some reason I trusted him.
Hare slowly shook his head as if trying to clear fog and cobwebs. "I got a lot of images at once.... the ground swallowing two team mates, a Venomian ground trap that...killed them... firefights... Every time I saw someone fall.." He trailed off, and suddenly seemed to snap back into reality with a shiver. "You have my deepest sympathy Carl."
"Thanks.."
"It plays over and over in your head doesn't it?"
I nodded.
"I know the feeling... I've had a bit to put up with myself the last round or two... chaos." He sighed. "What with James dying..right in front of me, and I couldn't stop it.."
"I heard about that in a roundabout way."
"Simply, Pigma gave us up for money." Hatred boiled in his voice, sheer rage. "He also pulled the trigger and killed James. I barely managed to get away." He sighed. "Gotta tell ya kid, if we have to go up against Star Wolf again I'm not sure if I'll make it."
What de fuck do you say to that? I didn't know. I just looked at him and blinked.
"I mean it Carl... I'm tired. Every time we went up against them in the war.... I lost it, and he'd have me. My aim would be off because I couldn't see straight I was so enraged!"
"Never been able to share this eh?"
"No." He gave me a tired look, ears pressed down until they went lop. "But I figure if we trade hurts, by some how or other, we'll end up with half a hurt a piece."
"Makes total sense." I got up, poured us both generous mugs of black coffee, and sat, handing one to him.
"Thanks."
"No problem."
He held out a hand. "Truce?"
We shook. "Truce."
On and on we talked. As it turned out Hare had some minor ground pounding, which helped some. He went though his recurring nightmare, and I listened. Truely one of the worst feelings is seeing something terrible happen to a close friend and not being able to interfere.
Eventually he got around to asking me about what he had picked up on earlier.
"I don't want to talk about it." I muttered.
"You know you can trust me."
"It ain't that. I flash back..."
He stayed silent.
I sighed and stared into the distance. "My last teammate-Avi-and I were imprisoned in a Zonessian fort that Venom had taken over. Both of us were in a pretty bad way, between Leon's interrogation and biopoisons..."
Oh no not again... The cold cells...the cruel laughter of the guards... Avi's soft, pained cries as she slowly succumbed to the biopoison... How many times did I have to relive it?
I felt a strong hand slowly grip one of my shoulders.
"Carl?"
"I can see it again." I faintly replied. "Anyway we talked and decided to try to run. We both had our reasons and knew when and where the pickup was.
Sometime during the run I made sure we hid in Leon's interrogation room. Avi didn't like it but Leon always kept cures to the biopoisons, and I pocketed two sealed syringes that I thought were right, and we continued to run.
One of the syringes got broke during our trip to the pickup zone. Shortly after that, we stopped to rest, even if the area was hot with the enemy. I shoved the remaining one at her and told her to take it.
She wasn't large, and the biopoison was moving fast. I had two reasons for her to take it. One, so she would survive to the pickup zone and hopefully be saved. Two, because I.. I thought she deserved to live more then I did!" I burst out, watching it happen before me. The hand gripped my shoulder again in silent support.
"We were sitting on a fallen tree. I was looking around to make sure we were safe, and felt a needle stab into my arm. Avi had just force-given me the antidote. That confused me greatly. She was growing weaker by the hour and yet refused to take it, instead making me take it.
I carried her the last mile to the pick-up zone, but she was mumbling about chest pains...the biopoison was in her heart. By the time she got help it was far too late."
I drug myself back to reality with effort, shaking.
"God." He breathed.
"If you see him tell him I'm pissed."
He guffawed.
I smiled wanly. "It's true you know."
"S-sorry, it's just... Well I HOPE I won't be seeing him anytime soon!"
"Peppy we've got a problem." Phoenix stood in the doorway. She was trembling, eyes wide. "Star Wolf...they..."
"Don't faint." I said sharply, leaping up.
But she was already crumbling. I lunged and caught her before she hit the ground. Hare was very quickly beside me.
The rest of the group arrived, and McCloud grimly finished what Phoenix had tried to tell us.
Star Wolf was back and they were pissed. They needed money, so they took a space yaught hostage. As it turned out, Phoenix was from money and her father was the magistrate of a luxury space yaught.
"We've got to DO something!" She said once awake, distress straining her voice. I swallowed. God help me get over this crush!
"We need to get on the ship to help, and how are we supposed to do that?!" Lombardi said.
"We can't cave into those bastards!" Monroe said, ears pressing down.
"I know that much babe!" He snapped.
Phoenix perked up. "I think I know how to get in. There's a family members only docking bay. I can get you in."
"Perfect." Hare said. "We'll have to be ready to fight.."
I left the room quietly and went to the cabin I stayed in, and picked up my sniper rifle, studying the 1000+ hash marks. A lot of them were pride kills, though I had lost the stomach for that really after seeing Leon's version of making himself proud. Now another thing had come in. Revenge. Powalski dead.
I looked into the distance and saw Avi sobbing and trembling, hugging herself.
My fingers tightened on the gun, then I slung it over my shoulder, setting my jaw. That fucker had caused too much pain to live.
When I reappeared they all glanced up at me in surprise. "I'm coming with."
"Who invited..." Lombardi started.
"Cool it Fal, he has more stakes in this then you do." Hare replied. "Besides, we'll need all the help we can get unless we want to wait for back up!"
Nods all around.
"You any good with that thing?" Toad piped, gesturing at my gun.
"Very. I'd like a handgun though."
"That can be arranged." McCloud said.

Ten minutes later I was in the second seat of a trainer arwing, feeling more then a bit claustrophobic. Dammit that phobia poked up at the most inopportune moments.
"How are you back there?" Hare asked.
I grunted and shrugged.
"So what exactly is his stake in this?" Lombardi asked via the radio.
"Revenge." I replied.
"Ah..." He fell silent.
After several moments of blurred stars, everything came into focus, and the yaught appeared.
"Oh my fucking god! It's HUGE!" I gasped.
"I'm used to it. I'll lead us in." Phoenix's black arwing moved forward and led the formation, McCloud falling back.
I leapt out of the cockpit the minute it opened, and staggered to lean on the nearest wall, calming myself.
"?" Hare gave me a curious look and noise that can only be written as that.
"I'm a little claustrophobic." I snapped, slinging my sniper rifle over my shoulder. "Let's go then."
Phoenix entered a door code, and we stepped into the hall. All was quiet.
"What exactly are the demands?" I asked.
"A lot of money or they kill hostages." The look in her eyes turned hard and angry.
"Right... Any idea where they're being kept?"
"Concert hall is the only place that will fit everyone."
"Lead the way then."
"Who died and left you in charge?" Lombardi frostily demanded.
"Actually I have my own agenda. See you in a few minutes." I turned down a hall.
"HEY!" McCloud shouted after me.
I found a map and studied it, and headed on a path parallel to theirs, heading to a flight of stairs that led to the third teir. That way I could snipe, and hopefully get the competition before they got anyone.
Footsteps clomped, and a pair of Venomians came around the corner, patrolling. I didn't think, didn't look twice, just rose my gun and pulled the trigger two times, catching both between the eyes. They crumbled to the floor, hands halfway to their guns.
I stood there for a moment, frozen, then lowered the gun. Okay, originally I had thought sniping, but now, my rage rose up, reminding me what had happened to my team, to me, to us. Would I be merciful or would I seek revenge?
It was not the hurt to me, I knew, that caused my rage. I rubbed my chin, still standing there. That did make me mad of course, but what had really pissed me off...
Powalski's rape and torture of the girl I loved.
Now wait just a fucking minute here! I yelped at myself as I removed the clips from the late Venomian's guns and also took an Uzi one carried.
That did explain a lot though.
SHIT! I figure out I love a girl, and she's dead! I can't tell her, can't express myself...
I pushed that train of thought back and started moving, setting my jaw. Payback time. I holstered the handgun and carried the Uzi ready, jogging through the corridors. No more just taking the pain. It was time to deal some back.
Every enemy I met during that run fell, a tally mark to add, nothing more as far as I was concerned. I gave none time to retaliate.
I heard a firefight and strode toward it, changing to a new clip as I did.
The StarFox team were pinned down in a firefight against a group of determined looking Venomians in the lobby of the concert hall. I didn't see any injuries yet. Standing on a second-story balcony, looking down at the fight, it looked fairly even.
"I'm out!" Shouted a voice that made my heart leap into my throat and pound.
Phoenix was crouched behind a column, gun empty. Lombardi tossed her one of his clips, but it was obvious they were running out of ammo. I set the Uzi down and brought up my sniper rifle, and sighted. From this perspective, I could see at least half the Venomians. I let off a warcry.
The firefight seemed to freeze as eyes turned towards me. I pulled the trigger and one enemy fell, with a strangled cry. I continued to pull the trigger mindlessly, until I was almost certain none were left.
"God damn!" Crowed McCloud, and let out a whoop.
I grunted and slid down a nearby banister, landing lightly. A tiny, furious cry sounded off, and the first girl Venomian I had ever seen stepped out from behind a huge marble column, gun leveled at me. I froze, and looked into her eyes, eyes that were wild with anger and not quite sane.
I dropped and brought up my gun, but the bullet that caught her wasn't mine. Phoenix stood behind me, gun up.
"Thanks." I rasped.
"Merely returning a favor." I got to my feet and nodded toward a massive set of double doors. She nodded. "Just as thought, they're in there."
Her voice made me shiver inwardly. I fluffed some of my feathers to release some of the responce. Breathy, girly voices don't effect me, but a low, sexy voice like that...
Stop that, ye fucking idiot, I told myself.
"If we walk straight in we'll be slaughtered." Lombardi said. "We need a distraction."
Everyone agreed.
"I'm your distraction." I said, holstering my gun and slinging the sniper rifle and Uzi over my shoulder.
Hare's eyes widened. "Carl..."
"Are you insane?" Slippy cried.
"Maybe." I started for the doors.
"White." Phoenix said. I turned to look at her. She slowly nodded, and touched her hand to her forehead. "Godspeed soldier."
I saluted back. "You better come in at the right moment or I'm dead."
"We will."
I took a deep breath and pushed through the doors. Indeed, all the hostages were being held here. They turned eyes full of fear toward me, then those eyes lit up with hope. I silently walked down the center aisle, straight toward the stage. The Venomians on the stage looked at me, falling silent, watching me approach. I could feel the weight of hundreds of thousands of eyes as I walked, and dozens of guns pointed my way as well.
"What in hell are you supposed to be?" Demanded one Venomian on the stage.
"I know him." Purred an insane voice I knew well. Powalski emerged from behind the closed curtain, eyes focusing on me. "He's a Cornerian ground pounder. Are you idiots? Disarm him!"
Two quickly did, oggling the marks on the sniper rifle.
"Care White of the dead-and-gone 212, correct?" He purred, leaping lightly off the stage and landing in front of me, eyeing me. Those hard gold eyes were completely helter skelter, no sanity left in them, but calm.
"Yes."
"Well, we meet again."
"And never again. Only one of us is walking away this time."
He laughed and playfully circled me, swaying and dancing with a cobra. "Two of you got away last round. I admit seeing you alive is a surprise. And what of your one other remaining teammember Avi?" He rose an eyebrow.
"She died." I growled.
"I'm sorry." He didn't sound sorry at all, voice still a purr. "Too bad...tut, tut... She was quite a fighter.. It took a lot to subdue her, and even then.. Did she tell you what I did?"
The bastard was proud! "She didn't need to." I bit off every word. "I could tell. Not that she said much afterward anyway. You broke her."
"Aw, Carl, now now! No need to make a scruffy specticle of yourself! After all why would you care? She was nothing but a teammate to you... or was she more?"
Mind games. Nothing more. I shook myself, watching him with angry eyes.
"If so I wonder why she never told me. Maybe I gave something to her you couldn't... Or is it you loved her and never said? Never had the chance? Coward."
I was ready to explode. I curled my hands into fists and ground my bill, somehow keeping from lunging at him with intent to kill.
"Is that it? By all means speak up, Carl." His tone grated past my ears and down my spine, made me tremble.
"You fucking bastard." I whispered.
"Yes indeed." He looked smug. "I've learned not to be guilty and to do what gives me pleasure. So I raped Avi. What's it to you?"
"A life."
He rose an eyebrow. "Oh? Who's?"
"Yours."
He laughed in my face, high and maniacal. "Oh really? How so? You're unarmed and alone!"
I held his gaze, then said quietly, "And how do you know that?"
He jerked back as if scorched, then laughed again, though he sounded less certain.
"What do you want to do with him?" Asked one of the hovering Venomians.
"Give me his handgun." Powalski said. The Venomian did, who checked my rounds and removed the silencer. "My orders were to interrogate then kill your group." He remarked to me. "You escaped and survived. So now I have little choice." He circled behind me, and swept my feet out from under me. I ended up kneeling, propping myself up on my hands. I began to get up, but he kept me down. "On your knees. Ankles crossed."
I did so. My heart pounded in my throat, fear clutching me. To actually die was a scary prospect... Once I might have welcomed it, but now, it just scared me... Some cruel little part of my mind rose up and looked out. 'Ah but isn't death what you want?' It whispered. 'You are tired, so tired... Death is a manner of sleeping, a forever sleep...'
No. I started to tremble.
Powalski's high, insane laugh pierced my reverie, drug me out, stopped the cruel little voice in my mind. I lifted my head and steeled myself. Come on, come on...
Screams suddenly pierced the air, then gunshots did. I twisted and saw limp enemy bodies fall off the teirs. Powalski started shouting orders, then let out an enraged screech when he saw Star Fox. I leapt to my feet and tackled him to the ground with a snarl. He tossed me off and got back to his feet.
I twisted/spun on the ground and he hit the ground as my legs hit him. I stood and gave him a solid kick to the temple. He sprawled on his side, eyes tight shut, gasping. I took my guns back from the stunned looking Venomian, who surrendered, and trained my handgun on Powalski.
Powalski had rolled to his hands and knees, and was shaking his head as if trying to clear it. Seeing the gun pointed at him, he smiled sickly at me, tail slowly waving back and forth. "You don't have the balls to do it, Carl."
"I don't eh?"
He smiled again, eyes unfocused. I had given him a concussion.
It felt like all emotion and energy drained out of me as I pulled the trigger. His insane gold eyes met mine as he caught the bullet, and I could have sworn he looked happy, overjoyed to finally die. He slowly crumbled, exhaling then going limp, and the last bit of energy in me left as he died.
My vision started to blur out as I felt eyes bore into me and slowly turned to see who it was, vision blurring then clearing, blurring then clearing.
Hare stood there, looking at me, and Phoenix. I looked at them and let the gun slide from my suddenly chill fingers, legs trembling in their effort to support my body weight. Burning pain suddenly lashed at me again, almost impossible to ignore, roaring full stream. What was happening to me?!
"Carl..." Phoenix started to say.
I swallowed. "Have Peppy explain why I had to kill him."
Empathy brushed me, then focused on me. I didn't care anymore. Hare yelped in pain and drew away. "Carl, what's wrong?!"
I shuddered and closed my eyes as I felt a stinging wave crawl though my viens and toward my lungs and heart. I opened my eyes slowly, gasped for air, and managed to tell them I was relapsing before my legs gave out and I collapsed.
I distantly heard Hare--No. Peppy--shouting for something or someone, but I couldn't make sense of it. A hand gripped mine firmly. "Carl?"
Fara. God here I was burning in pain but her voice made me burn in a different way. I forced my eyes open and to focus on her, into her eyes.
"What's happening?"
"I'm dying." I managed to whisper to her, and admitted it to myself. How had I fooled myself into believing I wasn't?! Hello, genius! The dose wasn't enough, and it's no good unless you get ALL the biopoison!
"But, I thought..." She looked down at me from where she was kneeling, eyes widening.
"Don't argue with me...please... I don't think I have that much time..." My lungs blazed, on fire, pain pain pain. "Just...listen... Don't let them recessitate me...'s too late...the poison..my..heart.."
She nodded, a single crystal tear sliding down her muzzle.
I wanted to say that I wasn't worth crying over, but I couldn't speak anymore. I lay there and looked into her eyes until everything started to fade, mostly because those gorgeous eyes were my choice as a last thing to see. You lucky fucker, Fox. Have fun.
I also heard a voice right at the end, saying the code of honor, one of line of which is, "every soldier's death is mourned."
Nice thought, I suppose...

"I don't know how he managed to survive even that long." Commented a doctor, watching a silver, flag-covered coffin being loaded into a herse. "He had no real right to be alive, no matter what a medbot says. Enough tissue damage was sustained that death should have followed a few days after pick up, especially with the biopoison active and still doing damage."
"Mind over body. He wouldn't let himself die." Peppy said dully. "Or at least until he had taken out Powalski. He had every right to revenge, though."
"1050 kills. Whew." General Pepper said. "I'm going to see he gets the medals he deserves, that's for damn certain.... What a shame..."
"He had a good heart under that rough exterior though..." Fara muttered to herself, unable to shake herself of the look in Carl's eyes before the fire died from them.
"Yes indeed." Peppy agreed. "You going to tell the Pres. and so forth about this General?"
"Yes indeed. White deserved to be recognized as a hero. If anyone deserved parades and crowds of reporters, it was him. Instead he's ignored." Pepper shook his head. "And if they had been picked up on time, none of this would have happened, so in a way, it was as much my fault as anyone's."
"You find his family?"
"Yes indeed. They were stunned."
"I imagine so! Think they'd mind if we came to the funeral?"
"Probably not. I hope not. I'm coming too."
CARL WHITE
2209-2235
Guerilla Squad Leader
Cornerian Army
For himself he cared litte,
But he was willing to walk though Hell
For a friend.