Have you ever noticed that
when you're over the hill,
everything seems uphill
from where you are??
Stairs are steeper.
Groceries are heavier.
And everything is farther away.
Yesterday I walked to the corner
and was dumbfounded to discover
how long our street had become.
And that's not all.
People are less considerate now,
especially the young ones.
They speak in whispers all the time,
and if you ask them to speak up,
they just repeat themselves,
endlessly mouthing the same silent message
until they're red in the face and exhausted.
What do they think I am, a lip reader??
Goodness sakes, they are so much younger
than they used to be when I was their age!
On the other hand,
people my own age
are so much older than I am.
I ran into an old classmate the other day,
and she has aged so much
that she didn't even recognize me.
I got to thinking about the poor dear
while I was combing my hair this morning,
and in so doing I glanced at my own reflection.
REALLY NOW . . .
they don't even make mirrors like they used to!
And everyone drives so fast today . . .
you're risking life and limb
if you happen to pull onto the freeway
in front of them.
All I can say is,
their brakes must wear out awfully fast,
the way I see them screech and swerve
in my rear view mirror.
Even clothing manufacturers
are becoming less civilized these days.
Why else would they suddenly start labeling
a size 6 dress as a 12?
Do they think no one notices
that these things no longer fit
around the waist, hips, thighs, and bosom?
And too, the fabric in dresses and slacks
is so skimpy these days,
(especially around the hips and waist),
that it's almost impossible
to reach my shoelaces!
The sizes just don't run the way
they used to.
The people who make bathroom scales
are pulling the same prank, but in reverse.
Do they think I actually believe
the number I see on that dial???
HA!! I would never let myself weigh that much!
Just who do these people think they're fooling??
I'd like to call up someone in authority
to report what's going on . . .
but the telephone company
is in on the conspiracy too.
They've printed the phonebooks
in such small type that no one
could ever find a number in there!
All I can do is pass along this warning:
MATURITY IS UNDER ATTACK!
