Thanks to Moody, Al's Waiter, and Simmí for letting me use your characters!
***
"That entire day, the only thing on my mind was the PPC. Obviously, my friends at camp noticed that I wasn't all there, especially when I wasn't being my usual giggling self in drama class. My counselor, Emily, sensed serious trouble when I wasn't eating my FlufferNutter sandwich at lunchtime.
" 'Ella, are you feeling okay?' she asked.
" I sighed. I wanted to tell her, especially since she knew the stories in Tolkien's books, and what they meant to me. 'No, Emily. I'm fine. Just thinking.'
" 'About what?' she asked, sitting down next to me and beginning to braid my pigtails. My hair was much longer then, and lighter blonde. You would have loved it.
" 'Something I found out about last night. Something unlike anything I've ever known before,' I replied, nearly whispering.
" 'What? Is it about the Lord of the Rings?' she asked, moving to the other pigtail.
" 'I can't say. I don't think that the Marquis would be pleased. And I don't want a daisy on my case.'
"Emily smiled, and patted my shoulder. 'Okay, Ella. But remember, if you need to talk, I'll listen.'
" 'I know,' I answered. I really wanted to tell Emily. But I had a bad feeling that she was the kind of person who wrote the stories I'd help to fix. In fact, I found a story that I'm almost sure she wrote. The author profile fit her perfectly, and the plot was a shameless Legomance, with a one-fourth Mary-Sunicorn, one-fourth hobbit, and one-half elf named 'Emiliwen.' As bad as it was, it nearly broke my heart to send it to the assassins.
"Anyway, that afternoon, before I rode my bicycle down the street to my neighbor's pool, I eagerly raced home to read my e-mail. Yes, there it was. The simple e-mail that would change my life forever.
"TO: Ella Darcy (hobbitQ@att.net)
FROM: Marquis de Sod (daisy@ppc.net)
RE: Employment
CC: Rain (sequoia@ppc.net)
We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted as an employee of the PPC. It is against some of our morals to rip a human so young from the real world, but we are too understaffed to care. Therefore, you are to report to work in one week from tonight, using your remote activator. It is suggested that you use this last week to tie up any personal affairs, as you are not allowed to return while you are employed as a staff member. After reporting to the Marquis de Sod, you are to report to Rain, director of the Department of Star Trek.
Welcome to the insanity!
"I grinned. It didn't hit me, not until I had actually left, that I wouldn't see my mother and father for a very long time. In fact, I haven't seen them since the day that I left. Well, not in person, at least. We've e-mailed pictures, of ourselves, and I've sent them pictures of the canon characters in both fandoms. My sister, who was only seven when I left, has grown up to look just like me. But she's going to become a Suvian, I can tell.
"But enough. That last week was largely uneventful, except for telling everyone that I was going to boarding school in... I think that it was Norway. But it could have been Sweden. I packed what I thought I would need, asked the Marquis what I really would need, discarded half of what I had packed, and repacked. Eventually, the week was over, and it was time for me to go. I took my last look around my house, said good-bye to my friends, and left.
"I stepped through the portal into the Marquis's office, where the daisy was slumped over onto his desk, sleeping.
" 'Um... sir?' I asked, gingerly tiptoeing closer. 'Marquis? Are you okay?'
"He woke with a start. Now, a surprised flower is probably one of the rarest sights ever, so I won't even try to explain it, because only someone who's seen it would understand.
" 'Yes, Miss Darcy. You're here. Now, where did I say you were to go?' he asked, still slightly out of it.
" 'Um, I'm supposed to go to see Rain, in the Department of Star Trek. What does he look like? Just so that I can know who he is when I see him.'
" Rain is a female. She's a sequoia tree. To warn you, she's very... earthy.'
" 'You mean she's a hippie?' I asked bluntly.
" 'Well... yes. Now, if you go out that door and down the hallway, you'll be there in no time. Provided you distract yourself. Her door is always open, and mind you don't step on her roots,' the Marquis explained.
" 'Right.... Well... bye, Marquis,' I chirped, before bouncing in my ten-year-old way out the door. I didn't much pay attention to his warning about distracting myself. Well, I'd soon learn how big a mistake that was.
"Fifteen minutes later, I was still passing Generic Walls and Doors. I had passed a few people, mostly older than me, including a really hot guy who looked like an elf. Except he was blue. And had orange hair. And did I mention he was really hot? I finally made up my mind that I would ask the next person that I saw. That 'salvation' came in the form of another really hot teenaged male human. His hair was... well... Let's just call it 'Gondorian inspired.'
" 'Um... excuse me?' I asked in a soft voice. He didn't respond. 'Excuse me?' I asked again, tapping his shoulder.
" With reflexes that I envied, he trapped me against the wall. 'What?' he hissed.
" 'Umm... I'm lost...' I squeaked. 'I need to go see Rain.'
" 'Oh. She's that way,' he replied, letting me go and pointing in the way that I had been heading.
" 'Okay. Thanks,' I called after him, still quite confused.
"I continued walking, waiting for someone else to ask. Finally, I found someone helpful.
" 'Excuse me, ma'am?' I asked, hoping that this person wouldn't hurt me.
" 'Yes? Wait... how did you get here? You're way too young.'
" 'They're understaffed. I'm Ella Darcy, and I'm looking for Rain. Head of the Department of Star Trek. I can't find her office,' I said, finally letting my guard down.
" 'Have you been paying attention?' she questioned.
" 'Um... yes. What does that have to do with anything?'
" 'You can't get anywhere here unless you don't pay attention to where you're going,' she explained, bending down to get her head on the same level as mine. I hated it when people did that.
"I drew myself up to my full height of four feet, nine inches. 'I am an agent here. Obviously I can understand it when people talk to me.' I reverted to my sweet self again. 'How do I not pay attention?'
"She stood back up. 'Here,' she said, before pulling the headphones off of her ears and jamming them on mine.
"As the loud sounds of 'All That Jazz' filled my ears, I was led throughout the hallways quickly. Soon she jerked the headphones off of my head and pointed to a large root.
" 'I'm Agent Taboo! See you in the cafeteria sometime!' She cheerily said. "Bye Ella!' She replaced her music and walked away.
"I carefully stepped in between the giant roots spilling out the door. 'Umm... Rain? It's Ella. I'm new,' I yelled.
" 'Ella... Ella... oh, yes. Sit down, and be at one with the Continuum Protection Initiative. You will be working at a desk job. You will be with a partner. He should be here very soon. He is older than you are... but age is just an earthly limitation. Just... be.' she said softly. Yeah, she was a hippie. And although I couldn't place the smell of the smoke then, it was definitely marijuana. At ten years old, I had a drugged-up sequoia tree for a boss.
"I was fairly optimistic about my partner. At least he was older, so he should be able to tell me what was going on around here. But I wasn't sure that I wanted to be paired with a BOY. Boys were icky, or so I thought then.
"I waited for a few minutes before someone else entered the room. Finally, Agent Packy strolled in. ...You know Packy.
" 'Hello!' He sang out. Literally. 'I'm he-re!'
"I practically jumped. Intelligent and sober life! 'Hi! I'm Ella! Are you my partner?'
"He nodded exuberantly. 'Agent Packy. Finally, I get a new partner! My old one requested a transfer after a few weeks. No idea why,' he mused.
" 'Ah... Packy. Welcome. I see that you have already met Ella... your partner. Your office is not going to change... show her where it is. Goodbye,' Rain whispered.
" 'Yes, ma'am. Bye!' he chirped. He then grabbed my wrist and forcibly removed me from the room.
" 'Ow! Packy! I can walk! Stop dragging me!' I wailed. He let go and I fell backwards. 'Owwwww... that hurt...' I moaned.
"Packy turned towards me and scooped me up in a hug.
" 'Um... thanks?' I ventured. That had scared me. 'Okay. Please put me down now.'
"He complied. 'I lost my CD player. We'll have to sing to distract ourselves.' he stated, before starting a chorus of 'Nightfall.' Except, it was a LOT more high-pitched than the actual Blind Guardian recording. And at least seven times more annoying.
"I stared for a moment, before beginning to sing softly to myself. 'The sun'll come out tomorrow...'"
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