Snake Eyes And Flying Hearts
*same disclaimer as last time, Only I don’t own the dubbed version of the record of lodoss war ending theme.
Ella: (Author) PITY ME! PITY ME!
The rest of the story takes place after the holidays just to let ya know*
Chapter 5-Petting the Puppy
Isabelle: That has to be the weirdest chapter title I’ve ever seen…
Ella: I’m sure I’ve seen worse. But none come to mind at the moment.
“Whoa! Harry! Look at that!” Ron shouted to Harry, pointing in the direction of Malfoy and Sylia.
Ella: (Ron) PEOPLE!
Isabelle: (Harry) Yeah… don’t see those very often…
Malfoy and Sylia came strolling down the halls, together. Their fingers were locked together beside them.
Ella: Lost the keys, have you?
Then Sylia saw Professor McGonagall and gasped softly. She knudged Malfoy.
Isabelle: Does she really think that’s a word? I mean, she’s used it multiple times.
Ella: It’s a Sueism.
“McGonagall! Loosen up!” With that, the Slytherin twosome loosened their fingers when Professor McGonagall walked by. Then they tightened back up. However, Malfoy saw Professor Quirrell coming and told the same to Sylia. They did the same thing until Quirrell left.
Ella: Ooh! They’re trying to be… clandestine!
Isabelle: *sighs long sufferingly* Mortals…
But when Sylia saw Professor Snape, a different massage came out of her mouth.
Ella …That sounds so wrong…
“Snape! Let Go!” They both let go before greeting Snape. Then they grabbed on again.
Isabelle: What, is Snape going to take off house points? I mean, really. If he saw what they were doing over break, I could understand. But, really.
Ella: They don’t even discourage hand-holding on teen tours. Although, far more than that actually goes on…
“That’s not fair Harry!” Ron cried. “He stole my idea!”
Ella: To do what? Look like an idiot whilst clinging to a Sue?
Harry sighed and watched Malfoy and Sylia walk towards them. They both sneered. Harry just stood there and stared. “Malfoy…Miss Sylia…”
Isabelle: Why is he calling her ‘Miss Sylia’ when ‘Sylia’ would do the job?
“What’s the matter, Potter? Bit beyond your reach?” Malfoy teased. Then him and Sylia walked forward again.
Ella: …poking them as they passed. (Harry) Nope. I can reach just fine, thank you.
“Hey, Did you hear about Malfoy and Sylia?”
Ella: *starts to sing* Did they really get pinned? Did she kiss him and cry? Did he pin the pin on? Or was he too shy?
Isabelle: *glares* What ARE you singing?
Ella: Telephone Hour. Bye Bye Birdy.
“No! What about them?”
“I heard they’re a couple now!”
“Wha? That’s crazy!”
“Who cares! It’s about bloody time that Malfoy got someone!”
“I know! But why Sylia? And what will the other guys think?”
“Oh all the ‘straight’ ones are all torn apart, but they’re all still gaping at her!”
“Oh, How immature! Uhhhhh…”
“Oh, H-Hi Professor Snape!
“What exactly are you girls talking about?”
“Uhhhhhh…”
*both MSTers blink. Multiple times.*
Isabelle: Who exactly is speaking?
Ella: I’m not sure… Maybe Harry and Ron?
Isabelle: But Snape calls the speakers girls, I think.
Ella: Harry and Ron are now Harriet and Rhonda?
Isabelle: Mon Dieu, I hope not.
Draco waited for Sylia in the second floor corridor(that rhymed!). He had flowers in his hands. Obviously he was going to give them to Sylia.
Isabelle: Because nothing else can be done with flowers.
Ella: Food for a pet, Herbology project, or, if the flowers are edible, gourmet cooking!
Isabelle: *dryly* Thank you for clarifying, Ella.
Ella: *big grin* No problem!
Finally she arrived. However, she was not alone.
Ella: (Sylia) Draco, I’m running away with Snape. We love each other very much, and we’re going to move to a place where there are no laws about this sort of thing.
Isabelle: *reads ahead* Ella! Not good!
Ella: *reads ahead as well* GYAH! My bad!
She came with an owl that had brown feathers, red eyes, and wore Slytherin robes.
Both: *stare, speechless*
Ella: Is… the owl… wearing Slytherin robes?
Isabelle: I think so.
Ella: *shrug* Better than my original idea…
“This is my owl, Morpheus. It’ll only listen to us. Morpheus! Bring those flowers to the girls’ dormitory!” Morpheus obeyed.
Isabelle: What, is it voice activated?
Ella: Poor Morpheus. First the God of Dreams fades into obscurity, then his name is used in a Sci-Fi trilogy that went from pretty good to painful, and now he is being slandered in a piece of Sueage. Almost makes me want to worship the guy.
“Neat bird!” Draco commented. “Now where were we? Oh, yeah!” He brought Sylia close to him and kissed her on the neck.
Isabelle: *licks lips* Blood…
Then they went into another lip-lock. This one wasn’t as intimate as the first one, however.
Ella: *closes eyes and chants* Eleven years old Eleven years old Eleven years old Eleven years old Eleven years old Eleven years old Eleven years old Eleven years old Eleven years old Eleven years old Eleven years old Eleven years old Eleven years old Eleven years old Eleven years old Eleven years old Eleven years old.
Sylia opened her eyes and pushed Draco off of her.
Isabelle: (Sylia) RAAAAAAAAAPE!!!
She saw Quirrell. She saw trouble.
Ella: Well, yeah. Yelling ‘rape’ is as bad as yelling ‘fire!’ or pretending to be drowning. Worse, even.
Quirrell ran when Sylia saw him.
Isabelle: (Quirrell) Curses! They’ll think I did it…
“C’mon!” Sylia took Draco by the hand and ran after Quirrell.
But Quirrell lost them by leading them up stairs instead of down. The stairs started to change and Draco and Sylia were led onto the third floor.
They ran inside and saw a door. Draco tried to open it but it was locked. “Blast! It’s locked!”
Ella: How much do you want to bet that they meet Fluffy?
Isabelle: Not taking you up on that. It’s inevitable. And, really. Do you need to specify that the door was locked if your character mentions it?
“Leave it to me!” Sylia pushed Draco out of her way and whipped out her wand. “Alohomora!” The door started to open. Once Draco and Sylia got in, they shut the door.
“I don’t think that door was locked on purpose,” Sylia told Draco.
Ella: Of course not! Why would Dumbledore tell the school to stay out if there was nothing there?
“Well maybe you should think from now on,” Draco told Sylia.
Isabelle: I couldn’t agree more.
He pointed downward.
Ella: (Draco) Look! It’s the gateway to Hell!
Isabelle: Ooh, you can see the righteous heathens from here!
They were in Fluffy’s room.
Ella: See!
He was about to scream but Sylia covered his mouth befor he could.
Isabelle: Befor? What is this ‘befor?’ A new preposition?
Ella: The rabbit can go befor the grass?
Isabelle: Quoi?
Ella: If it’s a preposition, it fits in the blank: The rabbit can go ___ the grass. In, on, under, through, near, around, about, with, behind, against…
Isabelle: I get it. You can be quiet, now. And other things fit in there besides prepositions.
Ella: *pauses, trying to figure out what said words are* Oh!!!
Suddenly, Fluffy woke up. One head saw Draco first, another saw Sylia first, and the other saw the shut door first. Then, Fluffy started to growl.
“Awww. A puppy!!!!” Sylia’s turned all cute.
Ella: That’s something Jay would do. Except Jay would then sedate it, take it to HQ, domesticate it, and kill the Sue.
Isabelle: Why did she use the possessive? Her turned is all cute?
Draco did NOT know what Sylia was talking about and stepped back. “P-p-p-p-p-puppy?!?!”
Isabelle: (Sylia) Ew! Draco has a stutter!
Ella: Ack! Punctuation rain!
“Calm yourself, Draco,” Sylia told him. Then she cleared her throat and started singing.
Ella: Gyah! There wasn’t even a formatting change to alert us! Where are my headphones? *Can’t find headphones* Oh, no…
Isabelle: It’s worse with my hearing!
“Let all the wonders come to me…The fantasy fills-- Fills my heart …I'll never wander anymore…For all the love I have, I have for you…”
“S-S-Sylia? What are you doing?” Draco obviously did not know what the hell she was doing.
Ella: Obviously. As he just asked her the SAME FRICKIN’ QUESTION.
Sylia had a beautiful singing voice. That’s probably why Fluffy was starting to fall asleep.
Isabelle: No, he was dying from the hideousness of it all.
Ella: She’s such a classic ‘Sue! Beautiful singing, taming of the three headed dog…
Sylia walked up to Fluffy and petted him. “All the spirits of the wind…Spread their magic wings and fly…Racing at the speed of light…Through the valleys and the passages of time…”
Draco walked up to Fluffy, scared of course, and petted him. “N-n-n-nice p-p-puppy!” He recognized the words of the song Sylia was singing.
Ella: this is the song that never eeeeeeeends! Yes it goes on and on, my frieeeeeeeeends! Some people started singin’ it, not knowin’ what it was! And they’ll continue singin’ it forever just because this is the song that never eeeeeeeends! Yes it goes on and on, my frieeeeeeeeends! Some people started singin’ it, not knowin’ what it was! And they’ll continue singin’ it forev…
Isabelle: *Evil Death Glare of Doom*
“When we fell in love—Destiny…Now each night will have no end…”
“Our nights will never end…” Draco joined in.
They both smiled at each other and continued together. “Eternity awaits…You and me…Now that you are here…We'll never be alone again…” Sylia started to blush before singing the next line, but Draco was fearless. “Stay with me, my love.”
Ella: *blink* Why would one be afraid to sing the word ‘Love?’
Isabelle: Because she’s stupid and thinks love is something feasible between eleven-year-olds.
Ella: Ah, yes. Right. And I’m betting that they were singing in the same key… *snerk*
Isabelle: Bien sûr! She forgets that proper harmonies between males and females cannot really be achieved until the male’s voice has dropped at least to a tenor.
Ella: And even then, it still sounds bad until the guy sings lower than the girl. Like, a girl could sing a C, and a guy the E below. And it would sound good. Because it’s a third up in the chord, but an octave down. Unless it’s Phantom of the Opera, because Christine and the Phantom overlap their ranges for a lot… almost an octave, I think…
Isabelle: Thank you for the music theory lesson, dear.
Fluffy was finally asleep after the song.
“Good night, Fluffy!” Sylia said sweetly before closing the door and locking it after she left.
“Fluffy?!” Draco did not know why she chose the name ‘Fluffy’.
Ella: Because she has psychic powers and figured out the dog’s name…
Isabelle: Wouldn’t be surprised…
“Hey, I just guessed!” Sylia yelled back. Then her and Draco
Ella: SHE AND DRACO!!!
ran out the main door and down the stairs on their way to the common room.
Much to Draco’s disadvantage, Sylia was the fastest of the two.
Isabelle: Faster. ‘Fastest’ is the superlative.
“Sylia! Wait up! I cant run as fast as you can!” He was right.
In fact, by the time Draco got to the door to the common room, Snape was already there.
“Good evening, Mr. Malfoy.” Beside him was Quirrell.
Isabelle: Why is Snape being so evil? He LIKES Draco. Mon Dieu!
Ella: You read the next chapter… does that help?
Isabelle: Oh, yes. So it’s a ‘plot point.’
*same rules. In the next chapter, if you were wondering about Sylia and her alias, then youll find it there. Snape does the unthinkable and lets Malfoy know who Sylia really is.
Ella: *deadpan* The suspense is killing me.
CYA*
*loud knock is heard on the door*
Isabelle: Qui est-ce?
Deep and Slightly Ominous Voice: What? Is that French?
Ella: I know that deep and slightly ominous voice! *poings to door, opens it, and glomps person standing there* Moody!
Moody: *is knocked over by the force of the glomp* Hey Ella. Claudia told me that you and Isabelle were in here.
Ella: *gets off of Moody, so one can see that he is a pretty goth-boy of about Ella’s age with curly hair longer than hers and glasses. He is extremely pale (a characteristic exaggerated by his all-black wardrobe), and has cheekbones to rival Johnny Depp’s.* Well, she would know, she brought us pizza and a ‘Sue.
Isabelle: Have you come to dispose of her corpse?
Ella: *collapses in a fit of giggles* Must… not… make… necrophilia… jokes…
Isabelle: *shakes head long-sufferingly* Ella…
Moody: No… I came here to say hi to Ella. *hug* We need to get you in on some pf the gaming at HQ sometime…
Ella: No, you guys are insane! I like being annoying better. Anyway. Stay for a few chapters?
Moody: Sorry… Pellafalas and I have piles of paperwork to do—Delyrian decided that the Data charts we have to fill out for Sues make good gaming sheets.
Ella: I told you not to have that twenty-four-hour gaming session! But does anyone listen to me? Noooo! *goes on and rambles*
Isabelle: Calm down!
Moody: E-mail me when you’re done here, all right? *exits theatre*
Ella: *to Isabelle* Shall I have the minis roll it?
Isabelle: Bien sûr!
Ella: *calls up to box* Roll it, sweethearts!
Siriu: Yessss… rollsssssss it we willssssssss… *clickclickclick*
*unless you've figured out who she is already, this is the chapter where Sylia's true self is explained and Draco finds out who the girl of his dreams really is. But how will he take it?
Ella: Cream and sugar, please.
Isabelle: That was bad. By everyone’s standards.
youll have to read to find out. it all happens in this chapter. CYA!*
Chapter 6-Secrets Revealed! Sylia's Alias\
Ella: *blink* That reminds me of an Inu Yasha episode title. I’m quite sure that there are several with similar titles…
Isabelle: I suppose—I don’t watch that show.
"You don't want me to do what I myself would never do, Malfoy,"
Ella: *rereads* Does that make any sense?
Isabelle: No.
Snape told Malfoy who was standing right in front of his desk.
Isabelle: As opposed to Malfoy who was standing off to the side of his desk.
"What would that be, Professor?" Malfoy asked, scared to know the answer.
Ella: (Snape) Frolic in a field with little pink bunnies! And rainbows! With Harry Potter!
"Twenty-five points will be taken off of Slytherin," Snape replied firmly.
Isabelle: …or that…
Malfoy was shocked. "TWENTY-FIVE?!"
"Each."
Ella: (Malfoy) *thinking* Let’s see… that makes… um…
Isabelle: (Sylia) *thwaps Malfoy* Fifty, you stupid thing! I’m leaving you! *stalks off in a huff*
Malfoy could not believe any of it. "No! You wouldn't..."
"Would you like me to make it fifty each, Mr. Malfoy?" Snape, in a way, threatened. He was serious about taking points off of Slytherin this time.
Ella: He either threatened or he didn’t. There is no middle ground, dear.
Malfoy stayed silent until someone crossed his mind. Sylia. "What did Sylia do?"
"She was out of bed after hours," Snape replied.
"And like me, she entered the third floor corridor(that rhymes!)," Malfoy figured out.
Ella: (Author) Lyke, Ohmigod! I can make a, lyke, RHYME!!!!111!!!!!!!!one!!!!
"And unlike you, she's not getting detention," Snape came in.
Isabelle: Well, at least she has his blatant favoritism down…
Malfoy was confused. "What do you mean she doesn't get detention? That's not fair!"
"Professor Quirrell saw you two snogging on the second floor," Snape explained.
"Snogging?! That's crazy! Sylia and I aren't in that sort of rubbish!" Malfoy spat out.
Ella: Yes, that’s why I was nearly sick after reading the last chapter!
Isabelle: And what exactly did he spit out?
"Don't play dumb, Malfoy! Professor Quirrell would not dare lie to me!" Snape yelled.
Isabelle: Snape doesn’t yell. His voice drops to a scary whisper. It’s much more frightening that way.
"Anyway, you're getting detention for a week."
Malfoy sighed but accepted his punishment. He turned around and began to exit Snape's office. However Snape's hand grasped his shoulder.
*Isabelle clamps a hand over Ella’s mouth to avert the impending slashy comment, then pulls her hand away disgustedly*
Isabelle: You licked me. How old are you again?
Ella: Fifteen!
"Mr. Malfoy..." Snape started. "Have you ever wondered who Sylia really is? Why she's a Slytherin?"
Ella: No, but I bet you’re going to tell us!
Malfoy froze. "I-I really never thought about it."
"Why did she say she was expecting to be in Slytherin?"
Isabelle: Oh, let’s see, because she WAS expecting to be in Slytherin? But only maybe…
"Because she's a pureblood. Her personality."
Ella: (Draco) The fact that she gives better head than a transvestite whore?
Isabelle: …That is most certainly the strangest simile I’ve ever seen… Plus, she’s never given him head. *beat* But how did you come up with that?
Ella: Well, a transvestite whore kind of can’t go all the way if he-slash-she doesn’t want… you know. So he-slash-she would give really good head to compensate.
Isabelle: …Wow. That’s off-color!
Ella: Thanks!
"Then why are you a Slytherin?"
Isabelle: (Draco) Look, I’d love to play twenty questions with you, but I have to go make out with your daughter now.
"Same. Except...My parents were in Slytherin. The Malfoy tradition probably."
"Don't you think Sylia's parents were also in Slytherin?"
Ella: (Draco) …maybe?
Isabelle: Only on Tuesdays.
Malfoy thought that over. "Do you know her parents, Professor Snape?"
Ella: (Snape) Oh, yes. In the… Biblical sense… *winkwink*
Snape brought Malfoy over to his desk and pulled out a picture of him and a little girl.
Malfoy didn't understand it at first,
Isabelle: (Malfoy) *after a second of pondering* OH MY GOD! YOU SICK AND TWISTED BASTARD!!!
but he got it when he saw that the little girl in the picture had black hair, and green, snake- like eyes. Right there, he knew that the girl was Sylia,
Ella: Yes, very few small children have green unblinking eyes.
but why was Snape in the picture? And why was he smiling?
Isabelle: I have to admit; I think Snape does need some happiness in his life.
Then something stumped him about that picture. It was all coming clear to him now.
Ella: If something stumped him, then it wouldn’t have come clear to him! THAT MAKES NO SENSE!
Isabelle: *winces at the all-caps*
"You-you're Sylia's..."
"That's right, Malfoy." Just then, Snape revealed Sylia's secret.
Ella: She was a man!
Isabelle: She was the offspring of a snake!
“Sylia's name happens to be...
Ella: Dun-dun-duuuuuuuuuuuuuun…
Sylia Snape."
Isabelle: *groans* that was so predictable…
Ella: But at least she wasn’t Lord Voldemort’s daughter!
Isabelle: And at least you changed your mind about the whole ‘relationship’ bit…
Ella: Yeah. That would have been messy.
*****************************************************************
Malfoy could not sleep that night. He kept thinking about Sylia and Snape being related, and how it was possible.
Ella: *sigh* Draco. Obviously Snape had a sexual relationship with a woman and got her pregnant. The result was Sylia.
The next morning, Malfoy went back to watching Sylia instead of hanging out with her.
Isabelle: (Sylia) Stalker!
He was rather silent and he most of the time had his fingers touching his lips. He obviously was not acting normal.
"Ron, do you see that?" Harry asked ron.
Ella: But not Ron. He only asked ron.
Isabelle: I wonder if non-capitalization is grounds for a Mini-Aragog?
"Yeah! He's not hanging out with her. He's back to staring at her!" Ron stated the obvious.
Ella: But… that’s Legolas’s job!
They walked up to Malfoy.
"Um...Malfoy?" Harry started.
Isabelle: (Harry) Your tag is out…
Ella: (Harry) Your fly is open…
Draco turned around. "What do you want, Potter?"
Isabelle: (Harry) A pony!
"Why aren't you hanging out with Sylia?" Ron asked. "And is your lip bleeding or something?" He added.
Ella: What, is she making up for not capitalizing Ron’s name earlier?
"So what if my lip is bleeding!" Malfoy lied. "And I just wanted to be left alone! After fifty points were taken off Slytherin, I dont wanna be with anyone for a while!"
Isabelle: (Draco) I’m feeling sorry for myself, okay! GOD! *stalks off in a huff*
"Why were fifty points taken off of Slytherin?" Harry questioned.
Ella: (Draco) Because of my promiscuity!
"It's none of YOUR business, Potter!" Malfoy shot back. Then he pushed Harry and Ron away.
Isabelle: Violence is not the answer, Draco!
*****************************************************************
Late at night, Snape was walking to his office when he saw Sylia waiting for him. "Sylia?"
"We need to talk," Sylia said quietly. Snape had agreed to talk with her and walk her to her common room.
Isabelle: He had already agreed? Someone needs to work on their tense usage!
"Daddy, Draco's acting a bit odd today!"
"You mean Malfoy?"
Ella: (Sylia) No, I mean Draco, his lusty alter-ego. Malfoy is fine.
"Yes! I think you have something to do with this because..."
"I was talking to him last night?"
Isabelle: …Snape finished, using his remarkable ESP skills.
Ella: Or he used Occlumency… we can be canon, here.
"Yes!"
"So you're asking me if I know what's wrong with Malfoy?"
Ella: (Sylia) No, I’m asking you if you can get me a pony.
"Yes! So can you tell me?"
Snape just told her straight out. "I simply told him that you were my daughter, that's all."
Isabelle: (Snape) Well, I also let it slip that your mother was a snake, but that’s it, I promise!
Sylia's eyes widend. "You told him?! Father, how could you?!"
Ella: (Snape) Quite easily, once I opened my mouth and moved air past my vocal cords…
"If he loves you so much, then he needs to know," Snape explained. "So I told him." With that he left Sylia at door to the common room and walked back up.
Isabelle: I hate it when guardians tell people things you’d prefer them not to know. Paneknofret will not stop telling everyone that I was a noble at Versailles…
Ella: And my dad can’t let me go on a date without breaking out the photo album of all of my shows! Some of them are fairly embarrassing!
Sylia watched her father walk until she could no longer see him. Instead of going inside the common room, Sylia backed herself against the wall, touched her lips, and stared at them.
Isabelle: She stared at her LIPS? Is that possible?
She was worried about him. Real worried.
Ella: *hisses* REALLY. It’s an adverb.
"Draco..."
*****************************************************************
Lucky for Draco, he had detention with Hagrid that night.
Ella: One: It’s luckily. Two: Draco hates Hagrid!
"Well that wasn't so bad was it?" Hagrid asked.
Isabelle: (Draco) *panting* I… hate… footraces… *passes out*
"I guess not," Draco answered quietly.
"Hope Professor Snape doesn't go that hard on ya again," Hagird commented.
Ella: (Hagrid) No one deserves to wrestle a troll…
"Hmm. Thanks Hagrid."
"You alright, Malfoy? You're not acting like yourself,"
Isabelle: It’s the ‘Sue! She’s changed him!
Hagrid questioned, putting his hand on Draco's shoulder(!).
Ella: What is UP with the (!)?
"I-I'm fine, Hagrid," Draco lied. "But thanks for worrying." No. He wasn't fine. He was still thinking about Sylia.
Isabelle: (Draco) She’s really a man… I can’t believe it…
"Well, I suggest you should head down to your common room," Hagrid suggested.
Ella: …That made about as much sense as the rest of this fic. Which is not much.
Draco bowed
Isabelle: What, was there a hippogriff around?
and walked to his common room, thinking about her.
Ella: Yes! We did it! We’re over halfway through! *dances*
*same rules. same disclaimer. the next chapter will be kinda sad.
Isabelle: Oh, cry me a river. And drown yourself in it.
And for Lucius fans, Lucius is in it!please review!!!*
Ella: If I were a Lucius fan, I would stay away from this fic! *looks at readers* Any Lucius fans! Stay away!!!
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