You know he cannot hear you. He lies so still and
quiet, far beyond the peace of ordinary sleep, in a world your words
cannot reach. The healers' best efforts cannot even wake him from this
deep slumber. Their grave faces reveal that they hold out little hope
for the steward's youngest son – now the Steward of Gondor himself,
though he has not been conscious since that title became his. You cannot
allow yourself the luxury of abandoning hope, even though the only sign
of life inside this broken body is the burning fever that scorches you
as you hold his hand in yours.
You know he cannot hear you, but you cannot bring yourself
to leave his side. Although it cuts you to the quick to see this valiant
captain look so pale and drawn, you cannot bear to think of him lying
there alone. And he would truly be all alone. His beloved brother is
gone; his father too in a fit of madness. You think it is no wonder
that he wants to join them in his faraway dreams. So for three days
you have sat here, without rest and with little food, waiting for him
to return. When he wakes up – and he will wake up, you are certain
– he will see the face of one who loves him.
You know he cannot hear you, so you tell him all the things
you could never say before. You tell him that he is the most courageous
man you have ever known, and that you want Bergil to grow up to be just
like him. You tell him that since your wife's death you have been so
lonely, and only his unwavering friendship has kept you sane. You cannot
tell him when your feelings turned to love, for you do not know the
exact moment yourself, but you can tell him that you have long wished
for the courage to press your lips against his, as you are now planting
a soft kiss on his smouldering forehead.
You know he cannot hear you, so when the Dúnedain
ranger comes to take your place at his bedside, and encourages you to
take a short rest, you accept his offer. You are blinded when you see
the sun for the first time in days. In the harsh reality of daylight
you begin to wonder what he would think if he could hear the things
you have said. You wonder if he would hate you for the way you feel.
You wonder if you could say these things anyway, for you know you needed
to give voice to them. You realise it does not matter; his dreams keep
him far away, and your secrets safe.
You know he cannot hear you. So when you return to his chamber,
and see him sitting up in bed, you know not what to think. You are overjoyed
to see him there, the colour returning to his pale skin, his ruby red
lips looking more enticing than you have ever seen them. But you also
feel a pang of regret at losing the chance to say all you wanted to
say when you had a chance. Then you see him smiling at you, a wondrous
smile full of love and acceptance. And then you hear Faramir say, "I
heard every word you said. Tell me more, Beregond."
