Welcome to our page dedicated to words of wisdom, stuff that anoys us like sneezin or pins n needles etc etc also on this page you will find quotes from comedians....movies...tv etc etc so have a read...
Movie quotes
Lord of the Rings: Return of the King:
Aragorn:
Hold your ground, hold your ground. Sons of Gondor, of Rohan, my brothers. I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. An hour of wolves and shattered shields, when the age of men comes crashing down, but it is not this day. This day we fight! For all that you hold dear on this good Earth, I bid you stand, Men of the West!
Gimli:
Certainty of death. Small chance of success. What are we waiting for?
Aragorn:
My friends, you bow to no one.
Aragorn:
For Frodo!!
lee evans-weird and wonderful at wembley:
lee does an impression of being in a plane toilet his scetch eventually leads to this
'Stewerdess, My kidnes have gone down that hole, its not right, its not logical, i think my splien is in there. ill put it in my pocket for later!!!'
as he does the actions of placing his kidneys in his pockets...does this in a very high pitched amusing voice.
lee evans-
lee does a scetch about budgeys in their cages 'nothing can be so stupid that they look in that lil mirror and say....owwwww ello my names derrick and this is my cage.....hmmm...whats in the newspapers today....same old shit!!'
The gingerbread man on shrek
'no not my gumdrop buttons...alrite alrite il talk...do u kno the muffin man
the muffin man?
the muffin man!!
the muffin man that lives on drury lane???
THE MUFFIN MANN!!!!!'
Lee evans- live in scotland-
'dont ya h8 it when u loose ur keys n u ask ur wife n she says there on the side!...what side theres ...
f"£%%""!g sides!!!!...cos only women kno where side is!!!!... and then ur wife goes n grabs them n she looks at u n goes ...owww for godness... look SIDE...on the side!!!'
that doesn't make sence to me, but then..you are very small
i always like going south, somehow it feels like going downhill
Stuff that anoys us:
cheesey inspirational posters such as the one on this background...
damn pop up ads and spam mail!!!!!!!
when someone asks wot time u have to do something yet you look at ur watch neway n stare at it for bout 5 mins b4 sayin the time which uv had in ur head the whole time.
Sneezing...whats the point in it...something which blasts dust and god knos wot out of ur nose at god knos wot speed and makes ur eyes pop out if u open them cannot b good if u ask me.
pins n needles- again what is the point in pins n needles...they suck
'doesnt time fly'...no it *&&^%%$£" doesnt!!!!u cnt even c time so how can it fly....i mean honestly how many times have u seen time sprout wings n fly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
anoyin hair advertisements on tv....
When people say "It's always in the last place you look". Of course it is!!!!! Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it?!£"$£"!¬
Why do they put "for indoor or outdoor use only" on christmas lights?
Why is the third hand on the watch called second hand?
Words to live by and words that will get you through life some of which are taken from the simpsons:
'cover for me'
'oh good idea boss'
'it was like that when i got there'
'it takes two 2 lie...one to lie one to listen'
'alchohol...the cause of and soluton 2 all of lifes problems'
'i wasnt l8 i am just really early for 2morro'
'I don't actually work here'
'it wasnt me it was the butterfly...honest'
'The gas company has to read my meter once a year and this was the only time they would come.'
"Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused."
"Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine."
"if somethins hard to do its not worth doing"
"today is the day you worried about yesterday"
the present day is the future of yesterdays past
Some day my ship will come in, but with my luck, I'll be at the airport
Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising every time we fail."
A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.
Character is built out of circumstances. From exactly the same materials one man builds palaces, while another builds hovels
Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are
A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you
there are 3 kinds of people in this world those who can count and those who can't
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read
Toys in briton are sold in toy shop...This isn't a toy shop this is a real shop
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
A man who has never made a woman angry is a failure in life.
Nothing is more humiliating than to see idiots succeed in enterprises we have failed in.
The only reason they say 'women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats.
i might b slow but im infront of u
Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts.
Young man, the secret of my success is that at an early age I discovered I was not God.
I'm not 40 something. I'm $39.95 plus shipping and handling
"Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else."
" I love deadlines. I especially love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. "
"Some say the glass is half empty, some say the glass is half full, I say, are you going to drink that? "
"When it is not necessary to make a decision, it is necessary not to make a decision."
"It isn't necessary to be rich and famous to be happy. It's only necessary be rich "
Kites rise highest against the wind -- not with it.
Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny
You've obviously mistaken me for someone who cares
There's too much youth; how about a fountain of smart
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway
S**T HAPPENS
In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday
Reality is the leading cause of stress
The best things in life aren't things
God's last name is not damnit!
stupid things ppl have said particularly george bush
here are a few of george bushs classics!!
'a low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls'
'quite frankly, teachers are the only proffesion that teach our children'
'it isnt pollution that is harming our environment it is the impurities in our air and water that are doing it'
'the vast majorities of our imports come from abroad'
'if we dont succeed we run the risk of failure'
'one word probably sums up the resposibility of any govenor and that one word is 'to be prepared'
"It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it."
"I think we agree, the past is over."
"The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my case."
"This is still a dangerous world. It's a world of madmen and uncertainty and potential mental losses."
HOW IRONIC
"I don't remember debates. I don't think we spent a lot of time debating it. Maybe we did, but I don't remember."
"I would have said yes to abortion if only it was right. I mean, yeah it's right. Well no it's not right that's why I said no to it."
"The reason we start a war is to fight a war, win a war, thereby causing no more war!"
"It's your money. You paid for it."
"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully"
"Will the highways on the Internet become more few?"
"You teach a child to read and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test."
"I think if you know what you believe, it makes it a lot easier to answer questions. I can't answer your question"
"That's a chapter, the last chapter of the 20th, 20th, the 21st century that most of us would rather forget. The last chapter of the 20th century. This is the first chapter of the 21st century."
"There ought to be limits to freedom"
"Put the 'off' button on."
"If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign."
"I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California."
''aviation belongs to the world, but the wright brothers belong to america''
Stupid things celebs have said-
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: I would not live forever, because we should not live
forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we
would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I
would not live forever.
Miss Alabama in the Miss Universe contest
I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the
law.
David Dinkins, New York City Mayor
I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.
The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing!!!
Dizzy Dean explaining how he felt after being hit on the head
by a ball in the 1934 World Series
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight."
"A verbal contract is not worth the paper it's written on."
