Happy Pills
*(NOTE: Written during on of my "happy drug induced somethings")
Once upon a time, there was a magical pony named Snuggles. Snuggles lived in a gigantic red mushroom house at the base of Lollypop Hill with his brother, Fairy Queen, the talking seahorse and his sister, Twinky, a unicorn.
Twinky and Fairy Queen did not like Snuggles. They ignored him whenever possible.
One day, Fairy Queen came rushing through the trap door of their magic mushroom house.
"Look what the Gnome of the Valley gave me!" he cried, breathlessly. He held out a bunch of pills. Each one was psychadelically colored and had a different happy picture on it.
"Give me one!" demanded Snuggles, for he had never seen such happy pills in his life.
"Forget it, Snuggles!" scoffed Twinky. "These are not for you!"
Fairy Queen hopped on his flying cannabis leaf and flew way up into the sky and returned with a shiny bright star. He opened it up and dropped the pills inside. He grabbed a handful of powder from the magic box and blew it on the star. The powder became a mass of swirling bright colors which encircled the star and left trails of billowing smoke, which smelt like peanut butter behind.
"There!" said Fairy Queen triumphantly. "No one can open a star that has Peanut Butter Powder on it."
And with that, he and Twinky jumped on their leaves.
"We're going to go inhale happiness with the demented elf. See you later." said Twinky.
Of course, since Snuggles was a magic pony, he used his magical powers to open the star. The star exploded into a colorful flash and then dissappeared. The pills lays on the table. Snuggles took every single last one.
"Why, these pills didn't do anything at all!" said Snuggles, as he stepped outside of his mushroom house.
Everything looked the same. The yellow dirt road in front of him twisted and turned like it always did. The multi-colored butterflies fluttered around the top of the mushroom in the sun. The sun dropped and rose, dropped and rose continously, making the butterflies appear different colors. The Tree of Knowledge stood beside the Apple Pie tree, obstructing his view from the rest of the world. Snuggles picked an apple pie and started eating eat. He hated apples though. "Why couldn't they have bought a Blueberry Pie tree?" he asked aloud.
"Because they don't like you," answered the Tree of Knowledge.
"Oh, Tree of Knowledge," said Snuggles. "What is the effect of these pills?"
"Go to the top of Lollypop Hill and you shall receive your answer," replied the Tree of Knowledge.
Snuggles walked up Lollypop Hill so distractedly, he almost trampled the Black Lilacs which grew and lived on the hill.
"Stop! Stop, you fool!" said a shrill, high-pitched voice. "You're going to step on me, you fat fuck!"
The Black Lilacs and their angry purple eyes glared at him accusingly. Snuggles took a few steps back. The Black Lilacs did not respond kindly to almost getting killed. They blew little tiny black fairies out of their mouths. The fairies had little tiny sharp wands to poke eyes out.
In a panic, Snuggles used his magic to set the fairies on fire. The bright flames flew through the air in a frantic circle before the ash dropped onto the grass. Snuggles ran the rest of the way up the hill.
At the top of the hill, Snuggles stood and waited for the pills to take effect. Nothing happend for a while.
Suddenly, the red wine trees in the valley started to rustle. Emerging from the trees was the Gnome of the Valley. The one who had distributed the pills.
The Gnome of the Valley looked at Snuggles with his bewitching spiral eyes that entranced him. Neon-orange butterflies encircled the gnome's head like a halo. The spiral eyes started to spin, becoming hypnotic. The gnome pointed in the sky with his bony, pointy finger.
Snuggles looked up into the sky. It looked the same as usual. First it was red, the it turned green, then it turned yellow, then it became a swirling mass of colors, the circles moving and making tiny funnel clouds. The same as usual. He stared at the sky for a while longer. There was a grey dot in the center of the sky.
The grey dot opened up, spreading the grey along the whole sky. The grass beneath him disappeared and it had a materially feel. Looking down, he realized that hands, real actual hands with fingers, were grasping the material. The hands were attached to him. He was no longer a magical pony. The red wine trees dissappeared. The Gnome of the Valley's spiral eyes spun faster and faster. The gnome opened his mouth. "Josh, Josh!" he called.
Josh?
Faster and faster the spiral eyes spun. "Josh, Josh!" called the gnome again. Entranced by the spinning eyes, Snuggles lost himself in the hypnotic trance.
"Josh, Josh!" a far away voice called. Josh's eyes snapped open. He was lying on his bed, grasping the covers with both hands. All he could see was the grey ceiling abouve him. "Josh, Josh!" his mother called. "Are you alright?!"
"Get out!" screamed Josh. Ever in his stupor, he knew what the automatic response to his mother's questions was. His mother left.
So, it had all been a trip. Just a crazy trip. Josh looked into his stash. No wonder. His stash was almost emptied. What had possessed him to talk all his drugs?
Something terrible must have happened. Josh shook his head and checked his wallet for money to buy more. He had none. "Motherfucker," said Josh, under his breath. It didn't matter now anyway. He might as well go to sleep and worry about it tomorrow.
From underneath his bed, the Gnome of the Valley crawled out.
"You again!" cried Josh.
The gnome's spiral eyes started to spin and hypnotize Josh. He held out pills in his hand. The pills were psychadelically colored and each one had a different happy picture on it. They were the happiest pills Josh had every seen. He took the pills. The ceiling opened up and the colors swirled again.
THE END?
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