Jared The Subway Man
by: Sam Leung
(Note: This story is a parody written by my friend Sam of our friend Jared, whom you may have heard of. Jared is a guy that used to be really fat until he started eating at the fine establish of Subway. Since his massive weight loss, Jared has appeared in over 10 Subway commercials, often with losers just like him. He has also made an appearance of the Oprah show. God bless Jared, that fat slob. This story is also dedicated to Jenny Craig, which helps us shed so many pounds and is probably healthier than Jared's "diet".)
Jared The Subway Man likes to eat. When he eats, he gets fat. Nobody enjoyed Jared's company or liked it when he was around.
One night, just like many other nights, Jared felt like eating and Subway was what he wanted to eat. He went inside and looked over the counters.
To his surprise, Jared saw the employees spitting in the vast amount of "healthy" foods. He felt sick so he went home and at ice cream. Ice cream always made him feel better.
10 years later, Jared is on a cheap Jenny Craig plan and is a walking advertisment.
The End
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