SPOILERS! You've been warned.
Rated 18a
Last seen: January 2005
Cabin Fever
Jordan Ladd, James DeBello, Rider Strong
Directed by: Eli Roth
CAMPY HORROR LIST
CHARACTERS
Paul - Our hero! He does most of the ass-kicking in this movie. Dies by infection.
Karen - Paul's love interest, until she gets infected. Eaten alive by a dog. Paul finishes the job out of pity's sake.
Bert - Comic releif. I love this kid, he's so disgusting. Gets infected. Gets his head blown off by insaniaks.
Marcy - Sex-crazed chick with huge tits. That's pretty much her only contribution to the movie. She gets torn apart by a rabid dog after being infected.
Jeff - Sleaze, total germaphobe sleaze. He's the only one who doesn't get infected. Shoot dead by local police.
Deputy Winston - A nice guy, unless you're infected with a flesh-eating disease. Then he tries to kill you.
Henry - The man who is first diseased. Some kind of hobo. Gets killed by our gang of heroes.
Justin - Unfortunate pothead.
Dennis - I really don't know why this kid is in the movie. He's scary, but hilarious. He likes pancakes and to bite people.
A band of gun-toting insaniaks - placed in the movie to kill Bert.
PLOT
The story begins with our 5 innocent little teenagers leaving for the summer to spend their time in a cabin out in the wilderness. Paul is hoping he can finally profess his undying love to Karen. Marcy and Jeff are just looking for a place to constantly fuck. Bert, well, Bert is comic relief.
They go to the cabin and after some lollygagging, they get accosted by Justin. Justin has a big bag of weed, so he instantly becomes their friend. He goes to get something, promising to be right back. Instead of him coming back, Henry comes to their cabin. He's covered in sores and is coughing blood all over the place. They refuse to let him into their cabin, naturally, so he tries to steal their truck. Paul, Jeff and Bert run outside and start beating on him with clubs and whatever they can get their hands on. This causes him to cough up more blood all over their truck. They finally get him out and set him on fire. He runs off, shrieking into the night. Justin is completely forgotten about.
Little do our ill-fated heroes know, but Henry fell into their drinking water source. Karen drinks the water and starts feeling sick. While she's practically incapacitated on the bed, Paul decides that this is a perfect time to try and feel her up. After getting a little finger action, he notices that there's a huge open sore on her leg. So what do they do? Quarantine her into the shed, that's what. They go seeking help, only to find nobody who can help them.
They all start to turn on each other, and Jeff freaks out, grabs the beer and goes off. Bert decides to go look for help. Marcy and Paul are left in the cabin together. They decide that since they're doomed, they better have sex. At this time, we see the first signs of infection showing up on Marcy. Later on, she's shaving her legs and she starts shaving off strips of skin. It's pretty sick. Seeing this, she panics and runs outside. Bad mistake. A rabid dog (Henry's dog?) smells the flesh and tears Marcy apart, since Paul left and is looking for clues, he decides to tear Karen apart too.
Paul realizes that Henry fell into the drinking water source ('bout fucking time!). He rushes back to the cabin with the news, to find Marcy torn to shreds and the dog gnawing on Karen. He kills the dog. Realizing that Karen, even though she had most of her face chewed off, is still alive, he kills her too.
Bert is driving along when he realizes that he has the virus too. While trying to get help at the local convieniece store, Dennis starts screaming:"PANCAKES!" at him and does all this nifty kung-fu moves towards him and finally takes a big bite out of Bert's arm. Since Bert is sick, Dennis also gets sick. The gun-toting insaniaks swear revenge because Dennis' father is one of them. They go chasing after Bert. Bert makes it to the cabin, where Paul gives him a gun. He sits in wait. When they finally come to the cabin, he is prepared to blow their heads off, but they kill him first. Paul kills them and then goes off for help on his own.
Jeff returns to the cabin and sees all the dead-bodies lying around. Overjoyed that he made it, he goes outside, only to be shoot to death by the local police. The local police have gotten word that a bunch of infected teenagers have been causing havoc, so they decide that the only safe thing to do is kill everything in the vicinity. The police throw all the dead bodies and remains into a pile and burn them.
At this time, Paul becomes infected. He asks Deputy Winston for help. Deputy Winston is about to drive him to the hospital when he gets a message over his walkie-talkie to shoot anyone that looks as if they might be infected. Paul manages to allude him, steal a car, and drive himself to the hospital. At the hospital, Deputy Winston finds Paul and then dumps his nearly-dead ass on a river bank. Paul, of course, dies there.
Oh yeah! During his tinkering, Paul stumbled upon Justin's body, thinking that it might be Jeff's. I don't know why Justin was added into the movie, but he was cute, so I choose to mention him.
The movie ends with two cute little kids collecting water from the river, where Paul's dead infected body lies on the river bank not 50 feet away, to make lemonade to sell in the town. I forsee the unpleasantness.
FAVORITE SCENE
Oh, my God! That dog's in half and Henry didn't notice?
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