|
picture brad pitt playgirl My website with picture brad pitt playgirl magazine. Your daily humor: picture brad pitt playgirl On The Positive Side... Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun every year. How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on. Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live picture brad pitt playgirl. Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them? If Walmart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing is free yet? Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once. A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery picture brad pitt playgirl on a detour. Donkey Tricks Driving down a rural road in Kansas with his pet donkey in the back of his pickup truck, a young man got a flat tire. He got out of his truck, coaxed the donkey out of the bed of the pickup and had it stick its head under the bumper to lift the truck. A passing farmer saw the event and stopped. "Hey! That's a pretty clever trick! How'd you get your donkey to do that?" The young man replied, "It's all in the breeding actually. This is a jack ass." Driving With The Little Woman Driving home with his wife one day, a man was stopped by the police. The cop said, "Sir, you were going 60 mph in a 50 mph zone." "No I wasn't," the man said. His wife leans over and says, "Yes you were, honey." "Why don't you shut the hell up?" he told her. The cop continues, "You also didn't have your seatbelt on, sir." "Yes I did," the man said. "No, honey, no you didn't," his wife chimed in. "Didn't I just tell you to shut up?" the man shouted. The cop finally leans into the window and says, "Ma'am, is this your husband?" "He sure is," she replied. "Is he always this mean and rude with you?" the cop asked. The woman smiled at him and said, "No, officer, only when he's drunk." Early Shopping picture brad pitt playgirl It was Christmas and the judge asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?" "Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant. That's no offense," said the judge. "How early were you doing this shopping?" "Before the store opened," countered the defendant. Fall Hunters Last November a couple of hunters were out in the woods when one of them fell to the ground clutching his chest. After struggling for a few seconds, he seemed to stop breathing. The other guy quickly pulls out his cellphone and dials 911. He gasps to the operator, "My friend is dead! What should I do?" In a soothing voice, the operator says, "Try to remain calm, sir. I can help you. First, we need to make sure he's dead." Immediately the operator heard a shot. The frantic hunter comes back on the line and says, "Okay, now what?" Fishing Trip In bed with her lover after several hours of passionate lovemaking, Brenda's phone rang. She told her lover, who was also her husband's best friend, to be very quiet. As she answered the phone, he listened quietly to her cheerful side of the conversation. "Hello? Oh, hi. Oh, really? Well, that sounds wonderful! I'm so happy for you! Great! Okay, have a good time. Bye!" She hung up the phone and her lover asked, "Who was that?" She replied, "That was just my husband, telling me all about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you." Follow Instructions Tech Support: "Sir, right-click on the Open Desktop." Customer: "Ok." Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?" Customer: "No." Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?" Customer: "No." Tech Support: "Ok, sir. What you have done up until this point?" Customer: "You told me to write 'click' and I wrote click'." Fourth Aussie Joke Why do Greek men wear gold neck chains? So they know where to stop shaving. Fuzzy Math A woman holding a baby walks into a drug store and asks if she can use the store's baby scale. "Sorry, ma'am," says the storekeeper. "Our baby scale is broken. But we can figure the baby's weight if we weigh mother and baby together on the adult scale, and then weigh the mother alone, and subtract the mother's weight." "Oh, that won't work," says the woman. "Why not?" asks the man. "Well," she says, "I'm not the mother - I'm the aunt. picture brad pitt playgirl" God Bless America What is the one thing that unites all Americans, regardless of gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background? Deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers. God Is Watching You Breaking into a home late one night, a burglar was startled when he entered the living room and a voice said, "God is watching you." Looking around the room, he spotted a parrot in a cage in the corner of the room. "What's your name?" he whispered to the parrot. "Moses," the bird squawked back. The burglar started laughing. "What kind of idiot names their parrot 'Moses'?" The bird replied, "The kind of idiot who named his Rottweiler 'God.'" picture brad pitt playgirl |
