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What did the female mushroom say about the male mushroom?

He's a real fun guy

 

An older couple visited the doctor because they were concerned about their memory loss. The doctor assured them that they were not that bad, and said that many people, including himself, tend to forget things. He recommended they start writing things down so they don't forget as often, as he does himself.

That night the man was going to the kitchen and asked his wife if she would like anything. She said "Some vanilla ice cream please," but added, "do you need to write it down?" He said "I think I can remember vanilla ice cream." Then she said, "OK, then I'll have some chocolate syrup on it too. Now do you need to write it down?" He said "No, I can remember vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup!" Then she said, "OK, then I also want some whipped cream. Now do you need to write it down?" Totally frustrated, the man said "No, I can remember vanilla ice cream, with chocolate syrup and whipped cream," and proceeded to the kitchen.

After working in the kitchen for a few minutes, he returned and handed his wife a plate of ham and eggs. The wife looked at him with a very frustrated expression. So the husband asked, "Now what's the matter?"

The wife looked at the plate, and in frustration said "Where's my toast!?"

 

 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay they'd be bagels

 

What did one strawberry say to the other?
If you weren't so fresh we wouldn't be in this jam

 

A man sat down in a restaurant and asked the waitress what the daily special was.

She replied, "Boiled tongue."

 "Boiled tongue!" responded the horrified customer, "There is no way that I would ever eat anything that came out of a cows mouth! That's disgusting! Give me three fried eggs, instead!"

 

A man goes into the doctor's with custard in one ear and jelly in the other. "Doctor, doctor, I'm having trouble hearing" "I know what the problem is: you're a trifle deaf!"

 

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