You're so fat you stepped on some scales and it said one at a time please
You're so fat you stepped on some scales and it said no livestock please
You're so fat when you wear a yellow coat people run after you shouting "taxi"
Your face could stop a clock
When you were born the doctors took one look at you and slapped your mum.
You're so dumb you went to a mind reader and she only charged you half price
BENNY: I'm sorry my minds wandering
LENNY: Don’t worry its too weak to get very far
ROMEO: How long can you live without a brain?
JULIET: Dunno, how old are you?
Your mums so hairy she looks like she's got an ewok in a headlock
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
You're mouth is so big you can eat a banana sideways
JILL: Some people say I'm as pretty as a flower
BILL: A cauliflower?
"You've a face like a million dollars, all green and wrinkled"
Gill: I've kept my youthful complexion
BILL: Yes, so I see, all spotty
"Haven't I seen you on TV
"Well yes I do appear off and on, how do you like me ?
"Off"
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
JULIET: Do you think that I'll lose my looks when I get older
ROMEO: With luck, yes
"My husband always carries my photo in his pocket. It once saved his live when a mugger tried to stab him."
"Of course, your face would stop anything"
DANIELA: I've just come back from the beauty parlor
DANIEL: What a pity it was closed
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.