The following two jokes are, I'm sure you will agree, the worst pair of jokes in the world. I would advise you not to read them.
Far away in tropical waters of the caribbean, two
prawns were swimming around the sea - one called
JUSTIN and the other call CHRISTIAN.
The prawns were constantly being harassed and
threatened by sharks that patrolled the area . Finally
one day during a tropical storm, Justin said
to Christian, "I'm bored and frustrated at being a
prawn, I wish I was a shark, then I wouldn't have any
worries about being eaten".
As Justin had becoming a predator firmly on his mind,
a flash of lightning hit the water and, low and
behold, Justin was turned into a shark.
Shocked and horrified, Christian immediately swam
away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.
Time went on (as it invariably does......)and
justin found himself becoming bored and lonely as a
shark. All his old mates simply swam away
whenever he came close to them. Justin just didn't
realise that his new menacing appearance was the cause
of his sad plight.
During the next tropical storm, Justin figured that
the same lightning force could change him back into a
prawn, Lightning never strikes twice except
in stories like these, but while he was thinking of
being a prawn, a flash of lightning struck the water
next to Justin and behold, he turned back
into a prawn.
With tears of Joy in his little eyes, Justin swam back
to his friends and bought them all a cocktail. (The
punchline does not involve a prawn
cocktail.........It is much worse than that). Looking
around the gathering at the reef bar, he searched for
his old pal. "where's Christian?"
he asked "He's at home , distraught that his best
friend changed sides to the enemy, and became a shark"
came the reply.
Eager to put things right again and end the mutual
pain and torture, he set off to Christian's house.As
he opened the coral gate, the memories came
flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted "It's
me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me
again."
Christian replied, "No way, you are a shark and you'll
eat me. I won't be tricked"
Justin cried back "No, I'm not. That was the old me.
I've
changed......."
(Wait for it.........)
This is really bad.........)
Don’t say I didn't warn you……….)
..."I'm a Prawn again Christian" .
You Want more? Here's more
There was a man called Dave and he was married to a woman called Lorraine. He didn't really like her that much but she was quite rich and he was happy to live with her. The years wore on and Dave was getting tired of Lorraine and he liked a girl called "clearly" from down the road. One day Dave and Lorraine were walking down the road, Dave was thinking about clearly, and a thunderstorm started. Lightning struck and killed Lorraine. Dave stood there shocked wondering what to do. Then it hit him.
"I can see clearly now, Lorraine has gone".
You think it couldn't get any worse?
Adam the ape was unfortunate at birth and ended up with no knees. As you can imagine this handicapped him a bit, as he couldn’t bend over, jump, run properly or swim. After a while this got too much for him he said to his mum "I'm sick of having no knees, what can you do about it." "Maybe ill get you some knees for you're birthday" said his mum. "No I want some money for my birthday" he replied, "so I can buy my own". So his birthday came and he got a penny (bear in mind that he was living in the olden days when a penny was a reasonable amount of money).
So his birthday came and he got a penny. He went of to the pet shop and said "do you have any ape legs?" "Yes we do" replied the owner.
"Ok, can I have to ape knees for a penny"
(As in ha'pennys)
