<html> <!--Generated by Angelfire: L00S00--> <head> <title>Love tastes bitter when it's gone.</title> </head> <body bgcolor="#000000" background="8.art" text="#ffffff" link="#00ff00" alink="#ffa500" vlink="#ff0000"> <basefont size="3"> <!--Header--> <h1 align="center">Love tastes bitter when it's gone.</h1> <!--EndHeader--> <!--Freetext--><center>~matchbox20~<br>more <a href="/rock/brytness/poetry/someberlove">somber love</a></center><hr> <b>Clocks Going Out of Time</b><br> She was standing there<br> like a time bomb ready to explode, <br>ready to show all that's been locked inside. <br>But the matches and flame<br>belong to the next guy <br>along the street, <br>with its golden glow... <br>I used to have a motto: <br>"What you see is what you get, <br>and the rest will suffer <br>with what you beget." <br>So I will forget you for safety, <br>for the memories were always sugarcoated anyway. <br>Some might say<br>we gave up too quickly, <br>but we knew where we'd end. <br>Only we could understand<br> the repercussions<br>of a clock-star radio, <br>a table for two on the patio, <br>and a blanket<br>of a blind tomorrow. <br>Oh, but we saw<br>no holiday in sight. <br>No, I wouldn't let you interrupt the sound<br>of chimes to allow you in, <br>and now I cannot let you <br>hit the ground<br>and take me for a spin<br>while you're drunk on the high-life. <br>I should have known your thrust<br>to be more like a knife<br>and all else you use to bleed<br>your victims. <br>Remember, I know your bedroom rhythms, <br>but forget this rhyme. <br>I will move away, in time. 071500<p> <b>Return to Sender</b> <br> You drained me, <br> so now I'm left to drain myself<br> of dye, and drinks, and dry<br> the letters with virgin crimes<br> to be satisfied only in prose. <br> (For the lovers who cannot compose.) <br> I've turned the cycle<br> and called the psychic<br> for direction in this desert<br> to-be-drowned in dirt. <br> I'm barren. <br> Hell, Arthur, I'll never be flowing free again<br> without thinking of your <br> helpless grin<br> at the sounds of my moans. <br> While your priests atone, <br> you'll take full advantage <br> of your sword and stone. <br> Have another show. <br> We took another go<br> on the banister of "dreams come true." <br> So it was you, <br> my 900 number, <br> my love-letter receiver<br> during my youth. <br> I want you to take back your plugs<br> and have them returned. <br> You've done enough<br> with your 33 cents. <br> 071500<p><b>Window Seat</b><br> Pull the shade. <br> Quicken the fade. <br> Watch everyone slip away<br> in their cotton blanket of clouds. <br> We're bound to fall. <br> Less gravity pulling me. <br> Pretend you're pretty<br> because you're sixteen<br> and don't know what <br> it's like to be eighty-three. <br> For the memory, <br> take this page<br> and lock away melodies<br> before they're stained. <br> You'll hear them on the radio<br> again someday. <br> You will know better. <br> We'll cut our loses<br> behind the "Vacancy" signs<br> blinking, <br> though there's never room in the inn<br> to breathe. <br> Take a drink. <br> Put it on the rocks. <br> Don't let me ask questions. <br> I want it louder<br> than the knocks in my head: <br> "Let me out! Let me breathe<br> you in!" <br> I used to want the truth, <br> but it's no use. <br> So I pull the shade<br> to make you fade. 071700<p><b>The Worst Sense</b><br> I caught a breeze of your<br> air, and I got all disheveled. <br> Stripped myself naked, <br> locked the door<br> in hopes of finding something more<br> than I thought I knew. <br> Once all I knew was you, <br> your gestures, your desperate measures, <br> you sneaky endeavors, and all you planned for<br> your future... with me, <br> and without my decision<br> you cut me out like a paper doll. <br>I will never dress again, <br> but if I do, it will be merely to defend<br> my soul against little demons<br> who want to dig deeper. <br> Now I'm the keeper of your secrets<br> because I wouldn't want to divulge<br> more than half my full. <br> Maybe one day<br> I'll see you on the patio<br> at a party I wasn't invited to, <br> and I'll show you how happy I am<br> with a butterfly on my arm, <br> to be completely without you. <br> Yeah, that would be nice<br> until our eyes locked, <br> turning my fire to ice, <br> and all I knew would come crumbling again, <br> just at the sight of you. <br> But maybe by then I'll forget the truth, <br> move on to more small talk: <br> "How do you do?" <br> And maybe I'll pretend<br> that you won't keep what you knew<br> with you<br> forever. <br> But your scent, <br> I will never forget. 071700, #663<p> <b>Carry the Moon</b> <br> If anyone were to fly <br> it would be my moon carrier guy, <br> rescuing me from shooting stars <br> upon which I'd wish to be by <br> someone else's lips. <br> It slips-- <br> onto paper through quill. <br> He taught me the thrill <br> of getting high on flings and flame. <br> I taught him to tame <br> the fire in his heart, <br> perhaps in the part of him <br> that could have taken me over.<p> He rescued me <br> with wings on his back last night. <br> Fireworks strapped to her back, <br> he had touched his inner self; <br> he knew why his stares <br> washed away the lies <br> he told himself; <br> he asked himself why <br> he never wanted to go back <br> once he breathed her scent. <br> But he never knew why he was sent <br> to take me away <br> more and more this way.<p> So I strapped on my winged shoes <br> to catch up with the air <br> in this push towards freedom. <br> And though I might fall again one day, <br> I won't forget him <br> and the lunar eclipse in our hearts <br> as we parted <br> for a while. <br> 070700<p> <b>Rush the Hour</b> <br> You come and you go <br> over mountains<br> below seas. <br> I don't know how to let go<br> when you keep chasing me <br> up and down--<br> even in my dreams, <br> you know how to direct me <br> beneath the trees<br> where we used to lie.<p> You once wrote "why"<br> on my calloused flesh. <br> I didn't know at the time, <br> but you said it answered every question<br> I'd ever have. <br> There are just better times<br> to grow together, <br> to fall out of place. <br> We'll meet again<br> in an unknown land<br> where bruises are less noticeable, <br> where we'll forgive and forget, <br> and perhaps be loyal... <br> When death is to understand<br> and all teachers are mad<br> as they test us before our lesson, <br> we'll rely on reason, <br> rush the hour to find the next valley.<p> Hear us hit the brakes<br> to avoid the imminent collision<br> and just fly away<br> when the steam engine comes our way.<p> But you come and you go. <br> Why don't you stay<br> someday? 070700<p> <b>Quicksand Was Saving Time</b> <br> I'd say good-bye <br> if I thought we'd truly end this way. <br> But I know we won't. <br> We'll settle apart again, <br> live our separate lives <br> thinking that awkwardness <br> was enough to keep the other way. <br> But we'll always crave to know.<p> I don't know to whom you'll say, <br> "She was once beautiful-- <br> but we divorced anyway." <br> Rather, I know I'll never be the same. <br> Yes, you've come and you've gone, <br> and each time I think <br> this one will be the fatal bye-gone, <br> but you never failed to leave your track <br> in the sand of our <br> hourglass.<p> I was never sinking <br> though you burned a hole. <br> Thanks for changing. <br> It's stability you stole <br> with your faked security <br> I used to hold. <br> You'll run away once more <br> and think you've healed again. <br> But this, my love, will never end <br> until you break the glass.<p> Then your time will truly pass. <br> 071100 <p> <b>Burning Man</b> <br> I needed to see him burn<br> to be satisfied, <br> knowing he sat there all alone. <br> But the swell<br> would have to make up <br> for everything else, <br> and the tide would have to<br> whisper the answers from now on. <br> It will be me and my gun<br> alone and restless. <br> Who won on those lonely Saturday nights? <br> Let's just say I learned to bleed--<br> and call it a day. <br> Drain the pages dry<br> to learn my secrets, <br> but don't ever think you taught me<br> to live. <br> I learned myself to be<br> and be by myself. <br> I learned to donate my feelings<br> to the cowardly and needy, <br> but that was only a means <br> of survival--<br> and knowing he'll burn<br> for eternity. <br> 071200<p> <b>To he who drives me to poetry</b> <br> I never wanted more than words and rhyme<br> and a little time to learn myself, <br>to take you on the ride into my wringing soul<br> out my vicious tongue.<p> No, I never wanted <br> to have been sitting here<br> wondering if you were<br> thinking about me too. <br> I didn't want the memories<br> of our better times<br> to fuel me through the next day, <br> to think it would be that way<br> again. <br> I never hoped<br> to see every sunset <br> and think it was only for us. <br> I didn't need anniversaries<br> to fly by<br> without a call from you. <br> I didn't ask for reflections on the water<br> to reveal your face from heaven. <br> I'd know why you were here to plague me<br> even in my sweetest dreams. <br> Then I'd know why the blue bird sings<br> and the west wind blows<br> and the vows and rings--<p> but no one knows these things, <br> and I just turn circles<br> to find out why I hold on so long, <br> why all my words come out so wrong.<p> I could never show you in verse. <br> That was my deepest curse. <br> 071200<p> <b>8 o'clock Sunset</b> <br> It's much safer to love from afar. <br> You're not confronted very time you see his face. <br> It's just left to sit inside your throat, <br> to multiply and be swallowed<br> just before you might say anything.<p> The blues have never been deeper. <br> The fire in your brain<br> has never been brighter. <br> And all the colors will explode<br> after you divulge your secret<br> that grows and grows<br> until it meets the debris of all you<br> always knew.<p> Then you're forced to <br> take it down below<br> as you die and die<br> away<br> with the fading colors of the day. <br> 071200<p> <b>Sing for Your Supper</b> <br> I still remember seeing you again<br> for the first time. <br> You mumbled about<br> avoiding this place so long. <br> I should have seen <br> that this would go on.<p> So we flipped some coins, <br> tried again. <br> Regained my faith<br> and shattered myself again<br> because I cared too much<br> while you never knew what to say. <br> I'll never forget late May<br> and all I was forced to do<br> to get you out of my head--<br> but you were never dead.<p> So it too until now<br> for you to move on<br> and get around. <br> A motivation of a different sort, <br> to get out of there<br> and sail off port<br> because to be surrounded<br> would be to be alone.<p> I used to watch you swimmin'<br> but I'd sink off the shallow end<br> just wishing to see you again<br> in your copper wire. <br> I would have died right then<br> to hear what you might say.<p> But by now I realize<br> you don't care anyway; <br> if you did, you wouldn't have sailed away. <br> 071200<p> <b>Third Time Around</b> <br> Don't worry, Love,<br> I was safe and sound<br> when I hit the ground<br> third time around.<br> Luck was found,<br> growing around the edges<br> of the crust you left behind before--<br> when dreaming meant so much more,<br> I was sure I was picked from the sky.<br> Now I would much rather lie<br> between decades,<br> to catch better light on the brigades.<br> The pain will dwindle<br> before angels die to rekindle<br> lives as dirty as my hands.<br> I always felt I more understand<br> the cycles in your eyes,<br> the reasons why<br> it's better to leave the past behind--<br> for a time I thought <br> meant to be was not supposed to end.<br> I used to think, "Why didn't I bend<br> over backwards for the last one?"<br> I only caught myself more bait,<br> but at least I know this time.<br> 062600, #639<p> <b>Just a Little</b><br> He crowns himself his own throne<br> because he doesn't know better.<br> He's safer when he's closer<br> because the breathing isn't so hard.<br> I can't decide whether he's as innocent as she,<br> but he plays it off nicely when the waves sweep him away.<br> Does he dream like the other dreamers?<br> Does he pretend to care as if his conscience disappeared?<br> Does he read smoke signals?<br> Does he rely on the reflections<br> so he doesn't have to look into her eyes?<br> I realize I'll never know,<br> but when he says he cries a little,<br> does he cry for her or for me?<br> Just a scream would be fine.<br> Just want to know he's doing time<br> but just a little.<br> Pretend you're feeling more pain.<br> Assume you know the rain<br> and its intentions as it twist-turns and bends<br> on the rims of your glasses.<br> Catch your own purity on the way down.<br> I've learned when it's good to stay around.<br> I'll see him on the ground<br> when his wings grow tired.<br> Until then, he knows I cry<br> just a little<br> for him.<br> 062600, #640<p> <b>Sphalerite</b><br> (<i>"too fragile to be cut sharply"</i>)<p> Right, I remember that fight, <br> trying to figure out who would win this night--<br> the softer end of both our swords,<br> we're both a two-timing battle<br> turning into one won tattletale<br> of dreams, of addictions--<br> never read those restrictions<br> when you took my first piece.<p> I saw your sphalerite eyes<br> searching within all my boxes--packages of lies,<br> but I never doubted,<br> never knowing<br> your true intentions...<br> never doubted<br> the meaning of these feelings<br> when you asked such blunt questions.<br> And now you ask me to stow away<br> my love, the sealings<br> that made me more real<br> day after day.<br> Now I'm asked to fade away<br> but stay<br> close to feed you some more<br> words of wisdom from just as fragile a girl.<p> Our two became one<br> but only in my eyes.<br> (Brilliant disguise<br> when you held me.)<br> Can't say I'll fade away so easily.<br> Too bad I know better what you need<br> than whom I should be. 061500<p> <b>ScanINg</b> <br> pages always told me more<br> about how long to stay in one place,<br> watching one face.<p> Funny how we only know from grins<br> what's on the mind,<br> what's on the brain.<br> "When fame has got you down...<br> I'll be around."<br> When the tide has come back down,<br> a path will cross you<br> to my grounds.<p> You know where I'll be found,<br> and I'll wait for your bleeding halo<br> to come around the bend<br> or the echoes from your unfurling wings.<br> I'll write melodies<br> as I learn to respect the rights<br> of Earth--to resist the lights<br> from your birth.<br> I'll be ready for you<br> when you hit the ground.<p> This time I won't fall with you.<br> I'll know how long to stay<br> in one place,<br> when to watch your face.<br> 061500<p> <b>My Five Words</b> <br> We collected sunsets<br> on the last Sunday of May. <br> I thought it most beautiful when it came from you, <br> though nothing lasts longer<br> than our possessions when remembered.<p> I wait for my lawful tune. <br> It’s always playing in your attic. <br> I always see a light. <br> I never forget our last night. <br> I cried before I could even say good-bye. <br> And to think, that was the easy part.<p> "I love you, ____ _____," you hear in my voice, <br> as if my words, controlled by a puppeteer, <br> were my choice. <br> If I could, I’d leave. <br> I’d pack up my memories, <br> be satisfied, and flee<br> before you’d climb my veins again. <br> I’d scream loud<br> if I thought you wouldn’t hear<br> what you should naturally find in my voice: <br> "Loving you is complete misery."<p> Don’t take pity on me, <br> just respect that you’ve made it harder<br> than it could have been, <br> Your beauty, I cannot even hold in my eyes <br> anymore. And I cannot take it<br> anymore, how you can climb and conquer<br> while I’m left somewhere below. <br> My five words—no, you don’t know. <br> My shadow claims to show<br> you everything naturally<br> as our sunsets slip away<br> more and more every day. <br> That’s all I’m left with today. <p> How could I wait<br> to see your flaming chariot? <br> Two-face, two worlds, two chances<br> down the drain. <br> If you choose to read anything, <br> read my face—<br> not the trails of tears, <br> just the reflection of drowning future years. <br> I’ve gotta let go to come back. <br> I wanted it all; you’re taking it back. <br> There’s so much more I would I could keep, <br> but "I’m in too damn deep." 061100, #632<p> <b>Pay Phone</b> <br> Leave me on this bed of lies<br> that must be <br> burned; cursed too many times<br> over for thinking I could be virgin anymore—<br> or enough to be more appealing than before, <br> more than just a net below<br> so you can fall and bestow<br> prospects and hopes for a partner. <br> And, she will never be me. <br> You’ve "figured out" things<br> that include me but subtract me<br> from being the one you want ever. <br> And I’m forced to accept the<br> declaration without questioning<br> motives, a change to the Constitutions. <br> So I’ll bear my arms<br> so I won’t feel so all alone<br> once you keep me on the phone<br> twenty-two minutes longer than the quarter deserved—<br> just to drop the receiver down, <br> just to help me drown<br> deeper in my forever-shallow tears<br> as answers come free-flowing<br> from your virgin breath: <br> She will never be me. <br> 061000<p><b>Figure 8</b><br> You ever tried to love someone who deserved it? <br> You ever tried to leave without feeling you deserted it? <br> I’m in between, <br> and I’ve never been the same. <br> The steps to the sacred<br> are never so hard. <br> So now ____ needs to know who to ask—<br> it’s my mistaste<br> but my destiny. <br> I know I’ll be forever shamed, <br> but now I don’t care<br> where my soul goes; anywhere<br> from here will at least make the tears<br> less salty than our oceans. <br> I’ll figure it out<br> once I can tear the pictures down. <br> I’ll figure the eight<br> of infinity to show you<br> every possibility. <br> I’ll kill chances for originality, <br> but it will be all too new<br> because SHE WILL BE ME, <br> glittering above the knees. <br> She will be all you want, <br> all you need, <br> and you won’t worry about <br> deserving or deserting her. <br> I’ll be yours to die. <br> I’ll be you curse, your lie<br> to yourself. <br> I’ll be your prayer. <br> I’ll be your tamer, <br> but I’ll be yours—<br> and you’ll know who to ask. <br> 061000<p><b>#630</b><br> He brought me good gyrations. <br> He brought me to my knees. <br> I gave him words of wisdom. <br> I would never have asked "please." <br>We fed off each other now<br> because we were no longer one. <br> We remembered our past <br> and gladly never took the chance<br> of living it again. <br> We were to remain as friends, <br> and he said this was best—<br> my thoughts of the future never rested, <br> so I was to agree, to make this me<br> and what I wanted. <br> (And that was never clear.) <br> He’ll now try to be sweet<br> because that’s the way he was meant to be, <br> and tell me about the next girl he screwed—<br> and for some reason, it never began to sound lewd. <br> I’ll take the next punch, <br> for this is my only way inside<br> the boy who was to take me as his bride—<br> or take something else away, <br> that will bleed away. <br> You knew it better than I did all the way<br> down the corridors of your chained up heart. <br> You said you didn’t know what love was. <br> I think it’s about time you start. <br> 061100<p> <B>Spinning </b> <br> Can't stop the sensation<br> from just looking at you, <br> spinning in circles <br> joyful jubilee<br> So no one reminds me<br> of how they want me to be--<br> this is as pure as I'll ever be<br> The colors blend like a pinwheel<br> over your head<br> I don't understand it--<br> and for once<br> I don't care<br> I'm waiting for the air<br> to leave my head<br> so I can live on only your breath<br> This moment<br> will keep turning within memories<br> because I knew you best when<br> the outside world<br> was fading away<br> Words melted into the next day<br> but this was burned into my heart<br> You'd done your part<br> and there was nothing more to say<br> when the dance stopped<br> and you went away. <br> 060900, #622<p> <B>Twenty-two and Counting</b><br> Come in. <br> Bolt out. <br> Do not enter. <br> Please don't shout. <br> I'll always be here--<br> you know no doubts. <br> It keeps your secure<br> on your solo flights. <br> And I'll be here<br> each night. <br> Come in fat. <br> Leave before I wake. <br> You don't have much more<br> to take from me. <br> One to twenty-two, <br> and I'll never forget<br> our beginning ending<br> when I saw good intentions fading. <br> I'm relating to you secrets. <br> Play one for the fool on the radio, <br> "one for the love who came and went." <br> I was thinking of charging rent<br> on my time, on my heart; on my bed<br> I'm lying, waiting<br> for something to get started<br> before you leave again. <br> 061000, #623<p> <b>Cannot Be</b><br> Cry your artificial tears. <br> Cheat and start in the line above <br> 'cause you think you <br> could give yourself something more tonight.<p> and don't forget:<br> an apple a day is<br> always one bite closer to the poison.<p> Not as beautiful as you remembered, but that's<br> nothing new.<p> Number three was supposed to be lucky.<p> Open minds were bound to break it, <br> ogle over nothing new.<p> Told you so<br> too many times.<br>Take me to a place where the<br> toys won't come alive.<p> Blinded by the boy<p> entirely by the Experiment.<br> 060400<p> <b>Diffusion</b><br> You looked so gorgeous today, <br> and I wondered why I had let you inside<br> once more, through my door<br> and up the rivers of my veins<br> with one touch on the collar. <br> I was back. <p> And maybe it was the turquoise hue, <br> but you smelled different too. <br> A new addiction--just like glue<br> I was bound to you. <p> You once asked me about direction, <br> and all I could think of was the compass, <br> spinning you North to East to South to West, <br> back down South, swinging back to East... <br> Three deaths between us. <br> Two lives behind us. <br> One love below this. <br> I might be sinking. <p> One handshake for the road. <br> I'll never know<br> if seeing you was right. <br> But at least I'll sleep tonight<br> with your soul in my blue blood. <br> 052100<p> <b>Retreat</b><br> Don't wish to plague you<br> with my best expression ever. <br> Feel free to kiss me--<br> wish me away. <br> But know it was you<br> who made me real. <br> Feel free to stay with me--<br> play to me that one song<br> that somehow, <br> some way put you back together, <br> taught you how to deal. <br> Feel free to love me--<br> shove me away<br> when I'd rather be hiding, anyway. <br> Wasting away<br> until the day of less delay, <br> next time we cross paths again. <br> Maybe I will feel differently as friends, <br> but I must hide away for now. <br> To push away--I don't know how. <br> Feel free to tell me--<br> repel me<br> downward. <br> <blockquote> To flame the fall is <br> to further the flight. <br> 052100</blockquote><p> <b>Pumpkin Shell</b><br> Peter, Peter Pumpkin Eater<br> had a wife and couldn't keep her, <br> placed her in a hazy hell. <br> He never knew her truly well. <br> And there she sits<br> warm by synthetic fire, <br> keeps her safe; <br> she thought desire<br> was her way to always be. <br> Now she tries to learn to breathe<br> without the weight that drove her down. <br> The kings and queens will dye her Crowne<br> and rape her of all she thought she'd see. <br> The mark was dated, <br> sealed with a kiss; <br> a marriage of words. <br> She thought she'd miss<br> the sunset of his eyes, <br> the ways of an outlasting girl. <br> As she left her pumpkin garden, <br> angels' wings unfurled<br> and showed her<br> what had always been. <br> 052100<p> <b>Static Cling</b><br> I have no form. <br> I lack the grace<br> as I fall back into place<br> with the puzzle pieces<br> I've collected over time. <br> One more to tie, <br> one more day to lie<br> and wait to die. <br> Reach over me. <br> Teach me to believe<br> I can trust you again--<br> not necessarily that we'll just be friends<br> but that I don't have to check in crazy ways<br> to see what you meant today. <br> Is love the blurring greys of my blacks? <br> I never thought I'd want them back. <br> My whites I don't even remember having<br> my way. <br> Come over<br> because the static<br> I hear on the receiver<br> clings to the reasons <br> why I won't let go. <br> What more can I show? <br> Why won't you be the believer? <br> 052100<p> <b>Different</b><br> It was different when I had to get to<br> know you again. <br> I had to reread your pages cautiously<br> to find interjections <br> I could provide<br> to sharpen your plot. <p> It was different when I was alone with you<br> because you eventually gave me rights<br> to your glowing soul<br> late at night. <br> Maybe I was just clumsy. <p> It was different when you first kissed me, <br> for I was scared. <br> I was missing<br> something from my senses. <p> It was different when I told you "I love you"<br> because I finally knew what it meant, <br> and I was ready to share. <p> It was different when you mentioned her name again. <br> I felt myself slipping. <p> But the fall was just the same. <p> It was different when you said good-bye<br> because bad intentions were missing. <p> It was different when I missed you: <br> a similar pain<br> but an older mind. <p> It was different when I hid away<br> because this time I had faith<br> you would come around--<br> or at least check-in. <p> It was different when you left <br> because we were looking for ourselves<br> but found each other. <br> Now you've stolen away with direction; <br> my feelings now I cannot mention. <p> It was different when my tears stung<br> because they were bittersweet<br> but thankful I had gotten the chance<br> to breath you in again, <br> hold you close again, <br> and watch my love shatter and bend. <p> Maybe I felt different because I thought we were the same. <br> 051900<p> <b>No, I don't think you understand.</b><br> The way you set me down<br> to essentially say you were wrong, <br> that you did not know what you were feeling, <br> that you only felt what you were seeing, <br> that nothing meant much more than healing, <br> that we would have to take turns grieving. <p> Before, I used to wander<br> because I was wary of the time it would take for me to falter<br> once more into someone's trap. <br> And then I saw you wrapped in someone else's net, <br> so I had to free you. <p> You were free<br> when you were with me. <br> And I found myself in you. <br> I thought you had too. <br> Instead I was jaded by the stars in your eyes; <br> I was glazed by your ivory hands. <br> I wanted to feel through them. <br>I wanted to see you<br>how no one else had--and I was considering<br>giving you what no one else had seen<br>in the same light. <p> It came tumbling down tonight. <p> When I touched you, did you feel it? <br> When you read this, did you see this, <br>did you relive this, did you believe it--<br>you did it again. <br> And maybe I let you. <br>I'd be your martyr to have you--<br>but now I'm left to die by your hand, <br>right between the eyes. <br>To think I believed the lies--<br>that I reconsidered my stand. <br>I don't want no replies. <br>No, I don't think you understand. <br>052000<p> <b>As You Lay Beside Him</b><br> The day after is always strangest. <br> You gave your heart and soul<br>in one fit of passion, <br>but now you're linked forever; <br>whether it's through memory<br>or a tunnel into the future, <br>you've come too far <br>to not know where you are. <p> You might remember yesterday<br> but never in the same way<br> will you be pining to feel him<br>from the inside. <br>You are here. <br>Something died. <br>There he sleeps. <br>And you are waiting<br>to know why he keeps shaking<br>there on your bed. <br>All you see is red<br>and his ivory hands on his head.<p>Why aren't they smothering you now? <br>050600<p> <b>what am i supposed to think?</b><br> More prolific than I. <br>Do your words lie <br>as you lie there...? <br>I'm swallowing your smell again<br>as if your presence were Penicillin. <br>Nothing man, always coming and going<br>to leave another part<br>of our sorry memory... <br>lying away; wasting today--<br>never. <br>To make up for too many yesterdays. <br>I play bittersweet songs<br>that are suddenly back in tune. <br>I've got inspirations<br> but still no moon to help me rest my head. <br>You once wished me dead, <br>but I never regret. <br>Forget you now--<br> I don't know how. <br> 050400<p> <b>i've been lying to myself too long</b><br> He has me cornered<br>in the worst way possible--<br>where I can no longer explain myself<br>in the poetry exchanges<br>that have been more true<br>than I have been to my heart in a while. <br>I'll counter his prying questions<br>with pounding questions of my own... <br>which I would love to begin answering<br> without hearing the pounding in my heart<br>when he merely breathes. <br>It's harder now to leave. <br>050400<p><center><!--EndFreetext--> <p> <!--Links--> <font size="5"></font> <p> <a href="/rock/brytness">Words are stupid;</a><br> <a href="mailto:brytness@aol.com">look into my eyes. ~REM</a><br> <p> <!--EndLinks--> <!--Counter--> <center><img src="/cgi-bin/Count.cgi"></center> <p> <!--EndCounter--> </body> </html>