Brian’s only true trial was ever trying to convince people that he was indeed alive, and DID have feeling. Only he could never show them. He wished he could have done this for Mandy, but that relationship ended ugly, and in squalor. More than anything though, he wished he could have saved that ugly fate from Curt. At least Curt had left him with a beautiful memory, writhing on stage in beautiful, tragic pain. Mandy left his memory screaming and yelling.

He watched him now with a sadness and silence that is unique only to old lovers parted through necessity. Curt never realized this; but Brian did. Their love was true, but Brian could not bear to let it die out slowly and agonizingly as all his past affairs had. Even his own career he saved by the false assassination since his fans were losing faith, instead they were left with him in mind as their beautiful, ghost martyr with a single swath of blood over his heart where he had been shot dead. He had Curt forever, clean and pure without the grotesque distortion of disenchantment.

He couldn’t help but wonder how badly he had hurt him. Curt, still blonde, lay on his back smoking on the enameled blue park bench staring blankly at the gray sky watching the smoke twist and turn like phantom Arabian serpents charmed by the music of memory. He looked closely at Curt’s face, unmarred by the years unlike his own face, which seemed to have changed the way of twenty years in only a decade. There was a single tear forming in the corner of Curt’s blue eyes. He wished he knew what source this tear was from. The wind was blowing harshly this day and was merciless. Curt always did have terrible allergies. Brian liked to think though, that it was him that he still cried for.

He wished he could tell Curt that wanting is far better than having. He had adored Curt, but it probably would have been best if he had never known him, because then Curt might not be crying right now. It would have been one less tragedy to him. All his pain had drawn Brian. He though maybe that he could somehow help him and fill some void for him, since he really did love him, but as always, Brian destroyed himself, and hurt Curt in the process.

Suddenly, as though compelled by some outside force, Brian felt himself walk to him across the sweeping grass, green from the summer. As though on queue the clouds broke and the sun came raining from the sky blinding Curt making him look to his side covering his eyes. He looked up, his hair like a halo, and blinked uncertainly, “Brian?”

“Hi Curt.”Curt could barely recognize Brian, his face was not at all the same, but it was his energy that identified. Something electric.

There was a silence and Brian felt his throat drop to his stomach as he realized that nothing in his heart told him how he should act, or what he should say. Nothing in his experience helped him. He became more nervous as it was confirmed that Curt still looked exactly the same, while he himself had aged so obviously.

Curt waited for him to say something else, but gave up, “Um, hi.”

“Yeah…hi.”

They both laughed lightly at this, but that hideous silence returned. They stared at eachother more nearly not blinking.

“Beautiful day.” Murmured Curt.

“Yeah. The very best.”

“What are you up to now?” Curt said quirking his eyebrows as the sun disappeared again behind the clouds casting the dull gray on the two legendary lovers.

‘I’m still singing. I did a small show at Caesar’s Palace in Vegas. How about you?”

“I paint.”

“Really. Is that so?”

“Yeah.”

“What sort of things do you paint?”

“Lots of different things. Landscapes. Portraits. Fake things.”

“Wow.”

There was more silence that nearly shattered Brian’s heart. This is why he knew that he shouldn’t have come over.

Then their eyes locked again, and for the first time during their meeting they saw one another. Curt sat up and rushed forward passionately crushing his lips to Brian’s putting his arms around his waist and again showing his worship for the mouth that had loved him, and told him it would be alright. These years had all been anger, but forgiveness was beautiful today. It was perfect. There was nothing but heat from the returning sun and the feel of one another together again. They stood this way, locking and tangling with eachother for nearly ten minutes in awe of the immensity of their souls, and how long love can hang on. Then Curt pulled away seeing him with his familiar dark blue eyes that never could hide his true thoughts. And now, there was nothing but adoration despite it all. And Curt let go and walked away from Brian not once looking back at him.

Brian never loved him more, and would love him for the rest of his life.

WOW. That was REALLY shmoomky!