havin' a word with dez fafara of coal chamber

Who would you least like to end up shipwrecked with on a desert island?

"I'm pretty easy going and I get along with most people, so it would probably have to be someone who was a real fucker. How about Charles Manson? I wouldn't be too happy about spending the rest of my days with him!"

Having smoked 'but not inhaled' in the past, did President Clinton have his special friend down on her knees?

"I think definitely so! C'mon, it's human nature to abuse others, and when you're the most powerful man on the planet, what's a little oral sex between friends? Power corrupts absolutely, and this President's smoking gun is definitely in his pants!"

Whick rock personality do you think would make the best President?

"Phil Anselmo. I'm being serious! Phil has a lot of views on just about everything going and he has the strength of character to see them all through, which is what politicians seem to lack."

What's the best trick that you've managed to teach Poobah (Dez's dog)

"To not indulge his favourite pastime, 'chomp the postman'! Poobah used to be so aggressive that I daren't take him outside because he'd try to attack all the other dogs in the neighbourhood. It took a while, but I managed to train that out of him."

Rumour has it that you used to date a porn star. Is that true?

"Yes, that's true, I did date a well-known porn star for a while. But before you ask, it was no good; it was dirty. You could never get personal, and it's one of the worst things that I've ever done. She's a really great person, she was cool to the band and supported us for quite a while when we really needed the money, but I couldn't keep doing it because basically, her job was screwing other people."

Have you ever been to a drag show?

"Sure have, and it was a lot of fun too. Have I ever taken part in a drag show? No, never, but I don't have to because we look like we're in a drag show every time we go onstage! The drag show was in LA and I went with about 15 other people, and we had a killer time-I'd recommend it to anyone!"

Have you ever taken part in exhibitionist sex?

"Yes I have. There were six or seven of us at a friend's house-two guys and five girls-and we basically enjoyed the girls' company to the fullest extent! It was very interesting to see what shapes I could get bent into in order to maximise all potential."

Have you seen the Tommy and Pammy home video show?

"I have my own copy! I think it's fantastic-it gets 12 out of 10! Tommy Lee must have the biggest dick I've ever seen in my life! It's hard to watch it after a while, cos they start saying how much they love each other and it get too personal."

Have you ever stolen food so that you could eat?

"We used to steal pork chops regularly. In fact we used to steal food all the time when we were starting out. When you're hungry you'll do anything."

Have you ever had a near-death experience?

"When I was 14 I had my tonsils taken out. You're supposed to be kept in overnight for observation, but I ended up being in hospital for a month and a half because something went wrong. They had to operate on my repeatedly, and I was very ill. That's the nearest I ever came to checking out. It was a close one."

One of Ozzy's daughters developes a crush on you-how do you handle it?

"Noooo! If Sharon (Osbourne, Coal Chamber manager) rang up and told me I'ld broken her daughter's heart, I'd shoot myself through the head! "I hope to God it never happens."

Who is your favourite Teleltubby?

"Po! And I'd love to help 'em out on their next single, too!"



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Email: MeegsIsMyMercy@aol.com