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Reason for this site

**written december '99.

Well.many of the people who know me are saying,oh hes just a poor loser,im not gunna waste my time on this losers site.Well,if u werent so shallow maybe you would have noticed how shitty i have felt for the past well,3 months.I urge all people to read my poems.they are really mine.I wrote them because of my first girlfriend who i loved,but obviously the feeling wasnt mutual.Now ur saying,first G/F ,he is exagerating a bit.well,i know it seems silly but those poems reflect how i felt.I hated poems before she dumped me.I dispised them.And to tell you the truth,i didnt know i was writing a poem until i showed a close friend one.i guess i wrote them because without a girlfriend i had no one to talk to and no one i could trust(like i had someone b4 eh?).but had I to say something or i would have been overwhelmed an may have possibly committed suicide.All of you who know me are saying,cheery ol' james?suicide?hes fuckin with us.well im not.I seriously thought about it several times.and it may sound extreme but,i had no point in living,i lives for her,i would have done anything for her.again,the feeling wasnt mutual.


i continued to be depressed until i started showing people the poems.i really went all out and opened up after months of closure.it helped.they gave me re-assurance.I soon remembered what feeling good was like.now i am past it.I am beyond her .Now all i want is someone to hold.Im not depressed ,just lonely.Writing poems pulled me out of the hole i was in .those poems that you may read and criticise are the only thing that kept me alive.the only thing.criticize them now.

other stuff.

This site was created for a number of reasons, one of which was to express the way that i feel.others are not so openly discussed.this site reflects my life greatly,if im in a shitty ass mood,a poem or news thing will show that,if im happy,they will show that too.and for those of you who feel hostile twoards my ideas,feelings and emotions...i have but two words....shit happens.thanks you again for visiting my site,if u have any suggestions or anything at all,let me know.


**written April 2001
Although i havent laid a finger upon this website in months, its original meaning still remains. And although im not plagued by such inner conflict, i will continue to leave this site up as a reminder of the past. Of what ive had, of what ive done, and of what ill become. -james

Email: alwaystownd@hotmail.com