We'd got tickets to the festival many months in advance and I intended to listen up on all the bands who'd be playing but never really got round to it. Too much effort! I did heard Supernature by Goldfrapp and At War With The Mystics by The Flaming Lips a few times but little else. I travelled down to London on the Friday and the topic of the festival was barely on our agenda as we were much more interested in organising a planned trip to Iceland! This is a fascinating point for me as I have always regarded a festival as the definitive holiday, providing more excitement than any expensive destination could ever provoke. Maybe it's just the thought of trying something new, who knows? We had designated Sunday morning to book everything and found that Expedia was randomly not working, frustrating many people no doubt! Despite not doing much musical revision, I'd prepared a booklet detailing running times for all the stages and directions to the site, so had no problems knowing how to get there and had pre-planned who to see. Lightspeed Champion had randomly decided to pull out, but that was fine as he'd probably had clashed with The Flaming Lips anyway. Other acts we'd have to miss due to clashes were The Go! Team, The Dandy Warhols and Bush-baiters Hayseed Dixie. Slightly annoying, but nothing compared to, say, T In The Park, which seems to delight in making all the best bands clash!

We'd decided to set out early on Saturday because I was intrigued by the idea of watching Alphabeat. Seven bands were on my "list" to see today compared to only four for Sunday, two of whom barely mattered! Still, Goldfrapp and The Flaming Lips on Sunday were more exciting than today's itinerary of Alphabeat, Satin Peaches, The Young Knives, Lykke Li, The Human League, Groove Armada and The Young Knives (again). We set out early to guarantee that we wouldn't miss Alphabeat and got to Mile End tube station, whereupon we walked through the east end of London towards the park. It was a strange place, appearing simultaneously run-down and expensive, with plenty of low-rise buildings and wasted land. Victoria Park looked alright and it appeared that the east end had been fenced off as the festival site. There were a few people there already in a disorganised mob rather than a queue. So then we waited. And waited. Midday slipped past. The crowd increased. But nothing was happening!

Our unrest increased, and I was already proclaiming their incompetence at five minutes past midday. Nobody seemed to be doing anything, or rushing around in a stressed state to get the gates opened like they should have been, just standing around doing nothing. After around fifty minutes one of the organisers mumbled something about last minute checks then we were organised into tidier queues in an aggressive manner and ordered to take a few steps back so they could remove the gates at 1pm to finally let us in. I quickly entered, hearing the other doormen complaining about their ticket-scanning machines not working! It was a complete shambles, and this unnecessary delay had made it much harder to get everyone into the site as so many more people had now arrived. I had my wristband put onto my left arm and my ticket taken off me but wasn't subjected to a search. The only positive was that this incident had taken our minds off Iceland, even though our attention was now focused onto the festival for the wrong reasons!

We rushed towards the main stage, which was more difficult to find as I'd neglected to print out a site map, to find it empty. We went to the bar where I ordered a pint of Gaymers not realising that it was in fact cider! As we were the first customers of the day, the bar staff were in a chatty mood, and revealed that Alphabeat had been and gone, playing their full set to an empty stage! I was completely furious at this jaw-dropping incompetence and expect any festival organisers reading this review to send me an email of sincere apology to eatingsaltiseasy@yahoo.co.uk! It's a shame that this incident soured what was otherwise a pretty successful weekend. We wandered towards Gaymers Great Escape Stage, which was a nice little outdoor stage tucked into a corner, and sat down to watch Satin Peaches, who I'd hoped would be a glamorous show like Peaches but with extra satin! We quickly realised that they were just a meaningless guitar band making a tedious noise so moved on, leaving the ten other people there to watch their set.

We now had a couple of hours free for a wander before The Young Knives were on so checked out the site. The line-up was full of unknown names so I'd expected there to be some unexpected gems, the first of whom we found on the Firefly Solar Stage, which did appear to be solar powered! Smerins Anti Social Club were an interesting brass band with a contemporary edge and we were quickly captivated enough to sit down and watch. By this time the sun was shining and starting to burn me, much to my annoyance, as I was wearing a thick raincoat, as that's what the forecast had advised and that's what I was hoping for! Being both intrigued by the good music and the strange silver thing spinning on stage, we soon got up and moved in closer. Smerins Anti Social Club briefly played a snippet of Out Of Space by The Prodigy (or that's what it sounded like!) and the spinning thing was confirmed as just a nice set prop. By the time the band reached their finale of a fantastic trumpet/techno mash-up we were pleased to have enjoyed the first pleasant surprise of the day.

We quickly checked out the art tent which was just a mish-mash of paintings supposedly inspired by the festival, some of which were alright. I also found a £1 coin on the floor, which was another nice treat! We then ventured towards the Fringe Stage for another surprise as a jazz/swing band called Dynamo's Rhythm Aces were playing novelty cover versions of pop songs! First we heard Ace Of Spades, then Blame It On The Boogie, before their grand finale of My Generation. It was hugely entertaining stuff and upon checking out their MySpace page I've learned that they also play Wannabe by Spice Girls! Just to enhance the impact, two guys dressed as Elvis were dancing whereas an old lady in a blue baseball cap was joining in (sort of!). It was a great attempt to recreate a Glastonbury vibe and the day was just getting better and better. We slowly headed back towards the main stage, checking out a fenced-off wooded area with a disco ball which was supposed to be some sort of rave and was unreasonably popular. We also stopped to watch the skateboard ramp, which featured some impressive skill and somehow no injuries, before having a go on the waltzers ride, which was spun fast and hugely amusing!

We then decided it was time for a snack break and I enjoyed a Magnum and an £8 bowl of nachos with an unnecessarily indulgent topping! Next we wandered around for a bit to find somewhere to wash our hands before getting into position to watch The Young Knives. We quickly made our way close to the front because the whole crowd were sitting down as the band took to the stage. They opened with Terra Firma and proceeded to play all the hits, bar Here Comes The Rumour Mill, in a well-balanced manner. They huddled together for the start of Weekends And Bleak Days (Hot Summer) which went down a treat and played a randomly sped-up version of She's Attracted To. Also the "I am the Prince Of Wales, I am the Prince Of Wales and if all else fails I am the Prince Of Wales" line from The Decision struck me as a work of genius, despite The House Of Lords declaring his vocals to be just "adept". The band may look more than a little geeky but proved capable of getting this crowd to their feet and bringing the main stage to life. I'm pleased to report that the sound quality was fine, which was a relief as my ears had picked up a hint of gremlins earlier on. Also Henry suggested that people who work in sales should kill themselves and they played what they said was their new single and perhaps the one to break them, but it just drifted past me! A few sarcastic remarks about the low chart places of their singles and free downloading made me wonder where they stand on the issue and offerings from the new album Up All Night and Turn Tail sounded good. Also there was a hand-held pole hovering above our heads which turned out to be a camera to create panning shots of the crowd which we were on a few times. The festival site had by now filled up and this was a great start to the "proper" action, but it was discouraging to hear The Young Knives say that their set later in the day on Gaymers Great Escape Stage would feature more obscure tunes!

I was expecting good things from Lykke Li despite not knowing any music, as being a female Swedish indie singer somehow implies talent in my book! A band called Natty were playing before her to a bafflingly large crowd despite just peddling some mediocre reggae shite. Fortunately when they finished the masses dispersed and we got into a good position before the crowd built up again. Lykke Li came onstage to a positive reaction and played some sassy Swedish songs, combining heartfelt yet tuneful love songs with some proper dance moments. She was 22 years old but looked around 12 yet still had the confidence to berate us for not being loud enough. Some vocal elements were pre-recorded but this rocked hard enough and was a more "real" show than Robyn had put on when I'd seen her. I do wonder if her career will go anywhere but she certainly was as good as I'd hoped. We then went to get some fish and chips and wandered towards the right side of the main stage to get into a good position for The Human League.

Already the stage was covered in the impressive backdrop that you can see in the picture above. In retrospect I'm not sure why I was here. I think that my "official" motivation was guaranteeing a top spot for Groove Armada. I knew nothing by The Human League apart from Don't You Want Me, which I just knew the chorus of. Most people know Together In Electric Dreams, but not me! Maybe I had a hunch that this could be a decent show and an opportunity to try something a little different from the decade that music forgot. Their stage was beautifully minimalist and featured the coolest drum kit that I'd ever seen this side of Slipknot. The lead singer came on and sang the first two songs by himself. It was a surprise as I thought that the ladies fronted the band, but not so! They had a guy standing at the rear with his hands behind his back seemingly doing nothing and there was a cheer as the two ladies made their way onstage. My eyes were focused on the one on the left for a while before I finally sighted her mole and confirmed that she was the original star! It was nice to see the three most visible members of the band were all present and correct!

The best element of the show was that it was 100% live and it still sounded like the band were a valid act to watch in 2008. Some of the songs were memorable, such as The Lebanon, Love Action (I Believe In Love) and especially Open Your Heart. By the time they played Together In Electric Dreams it was apparent that everyone knew this song and it went down a treat. The setlist was well balanced and the singing was strong. Indeed it's very rare for songs I don't know to sustain my interest for a full hour! Predictably they finished with Don't You Want Me, which was sung back at them at incredible volume and we could only shake our heads and say "wow"! They claim to be towards the end of a 30 year mission to spread Electropop to the masses and, on tonight's evidence, I doubt anyone else is better qualified. We then sat down on the grass for a bit, taking advantage of the still relatively quiet crowd.

I'd expected great things from Groove Armada. I've wanted to watch them play for many years but never enough to fork out money specially. In fact The Flaming Lips would claim the day after that this festival was run by the Armada, which came as news to me! The two Elvis's from earlier reappeared to stand near us and a third video screen was placed in the middle of the stage. The show started in a promising manner with a head banging song featuring a guy running and head banging in time to the beat. There were lights, fireworks, explosions, tons of black balloons and confetti, the fireworks being something of a surprise considering that it was still daylight! The crowd also danced quite energetically, even though there wasn't much of a crush. Yet somehow I wasn't particularly impressed. When the guest vocalists appeared they were too low in the mix and the beats were just too repetitive and soulless. They seemingly played Superstylin' three times, as well as a pleasant At The River. They also had a guitarist standing at the back who played very little yet looked like he owned the band (maybe he does?) as well as a Desmond from Lost look-alike. My research says that the band are a duo, which seems to be a dance music tradition, but I'm still not sure who was in the band and who wasn't! It particularly grated when the guest vocalists started to taunt the crowd for not being noisy enough, as the audience reaction was far beyond what the band deserved! This was tolerable of course but, rather embarrassingly, The Human League had blown then offstage!

I was particularly annoyed that the one opportunity for my raincoat to come in handy was squandered as a pint of beer was spilled on my t-shirt after I unzipped it! In other amazing beer related news, I saw a guy randomly extend his arm into the air and perfectly catch a flying half full pint paper cup in his hand with no spillage at all, which was one of the most amazing feats of the weekend! The visual highlight of the show was I See You Baby, a brief sample of which had been played when the band had come onstage. Four girls wearing very little appeared onstage to perform the "actions" to the song. It was a nice crowd-pleasing moment, if slightly too obvious? Groove Armada had done very little wrong but I felt underwhelmed by the whole experience, and look forwards to Daft Punk showing just what a dance duo are capable of if they put their minds to it! We now made our way towards the exit, wondering just who the hell Manu Chao was and how he came to be headlining this event. It was just too busy now and the day had reached a satisfying peak. The Young Knives seemed unlikely to top their earlier show so there seemed to be little point trying to watch them playing b-sides while struggling to see them from the back. I spotted "the original Kebabish" near the tube station, bringing back memories of the proper Kebabish in Manchester, and we went to Waterloo and our favoured pub in the amusement arcade. You can always count on it to be comfortable and surprisingly quiet despite its brilliant location! I won five 10p pieces in the slot machines then retired undefeated, and by the time we made it back at the end of the day we sat around in smug satisfaction, putting Don't You Want Me on play a few times for good luck. It had been a pleasing day with some nice surprises thrown in for good measure.

SONG OF THE DAY: The Human League - Don't You Want Me