Finally the action kicks off! The general morning pattern was that I woke up first (unable to sleep through the bright early morning sun), followed by Nick, whereas Ali seemed to stay tucked up for hours longer. I had taken a hilarious vibrating hamster thing and believe I utilised it to wake him up! I recall Nick was spending an awesome amount of time on the phone (even between the headliners tonight) and had taken four handsets to guarantee a working battery. And this is where I explain the use of the bowl that I had purchased the previous day: I took it over to the pumps and filled it with water so that I could actually wash my hair and face as if I was living in the real world! This morning was the earliest I woke up so I didn't have to queue for water, although a very stoned-looking woman was there just staring blankly at nothing, which was a classic random moment considering it was around 7am. Lugging a bowl full of water to the tent was a bit of a pain, but I also found that I could put my other water bottles in there so could easily get away with only one trip for water per day. I may have been laughed at for washing my hair, spending ages shaving and using a mirror, but it made me feel so much better and ready for the day ahead I'd recommend it to anyone. And it also rendered wet wipes completely redundant.
While Ali was still curled up, Nick and I ventured out to get some breakfast and after wandering between all the stores I settled on a jacket potato filled with a lovely chilled curry, which was delicious and made an ideal meal. Although I never take care to keep my bearings, I immediately memorised the route to the tent, knowing we had to travel over Reaper Bridge, then towards the Lynx Manwash and keep an eye out for a cow tent on the right. One of my observations I was very pleased with is that having something to make your tent recognisable is a waste of time as you can find it by looking for distinctive tents near to you! Ali finally awoke and we pondered over the plan for the day and scribbled down on our running orders who we wanted to see. My basic plan was to wander around and see as much as possible until Belle & Sebastian when I would settle at the main stage. I persuaded everyone to set out early to the arena and was (once again!) proved right, as there was quite a crowd already. As this was the first day and as everyone had made so much effort to get tickets in the first place it was heart-warming to see some enthusiasm to get in there and see some music. A guy with a loudspeaker welcomed us to the festival and said some other things we could barely hear. We were all told to wave our wristbands in the air and were promptly and efficiently let into the arena despite the large crowds, and somehow they even managed to check us at least twice for wristbands and any forbidden items (i.e. everything).
The festival gates had opened early so we had a bit of time on our hands. The first stop was checking out the urinals, as clean facilities were rare enough to be a tourist attraction! I would go into ludicrous depth about the layout of the arena but the picture on the index page explains it nicely. It was compact and yet suitable for large crowds, and had a slight slope to it so that the main stage was downhill. There was also a supposed "chill-out" bar in the middle, but the music coming out of there was sometimes so deafening I failed to see what the point of it was. We also checked out the official T-shirts, but nothing was worth the fifteen quid plus tag. Despite the insanely oversized Blur t-shirt I was wearing as evidence that some bootlegged merchandise is rubbish, if the official stuff wants to compete it needs to be utterly superior or competitively priced. As I was scrutinising my running order intensely, I observed that the Carling Stage started 30 minutes before any other, and as I was determined to see as much as possible I insisted we went over there to check it out. As there was nothing else to do and we were right by the arena nobody argued.
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We sat down on the hay inside the tent (which somehow remained intact until the last day) and I took a look around. The Carling Stage is genuinely tiny, and I can't remember if it had a TV screen outside. The tent was dirty (presumably not cleaned from last year) thus looked like it had been trampled all over before it had been set up! It had that nice vibe of a pub venue and didn't look corporate enough to discourage the kind of bands who would play on it. I also spotted the disabled entrance, which I think was just a ramp leading to the mixing desk. As thoughtful as disabled access may be, I don't think I spotted a single wheelchair so it seems to me to be wasted effort for the organisers. I also spotted a rather camp guy who had gone to our school so we decided to keep our heads down. We knew nothing about them, but noted that the Reading Festival 2006 would start with... Mr Fogg?! Despite being a completely new name, I'm pleased to report they kicked off the festival in a storming manner! The lead singer looked frighteningly like Charlie's brother in Lost but as I can't find any evidence of this I assume it wasn't actually him. He was reasonably charismatic and they also had a girl on keyboards who was either bored or trying very hard to play it cool. I'm at a loss now to explain their sound, but think it was a fairly interesting guitar-based thing with enough tunes to keep our attention from start to end. Everybody seemed to enjoy it, and the band benefited from how up-for-it everyone was. I also took interest as it looked like Karen O was at the DJ desk to the side of the stage!! It transpired later on that it couldn't have been her as she was here everyday even when Yeah Yeah Yeahs were in Leeds, but as she had the same ridiculous bowl cut she fooled us all. Not quite sure what her purpose was. She just got out records and looking very confused, whilst somebody seemed to be showing her what buttons needed to be pushed!
After this most encouraging start, I insisted we went over to see Towers Of London opening the main stage. In hindsight I would have stuck around to see hotly tipped Mumm-Ra perform but at the time had never heard of them! I had a feeling that Towers would be shite but wanted to find out for myself and felt they would be quite noteworthy. They came on to air raid sirens wearing the white clothes they're always pictured in and played some hideously outdated punk numbers that got boring in around one minute. It was exactly as I'd imagined, and it was hard to equate these guys with stupid hair being the same two people famously pictured with Noel Gallagher circa 1997 looking like perfectly normal indie kids (that photo is included in their picture above!). NME may have tried to dress up their review by saying they were only playing to the "diehards" at the front, but you just can't get around the fact they are a terrible band. They remind me of Andrew WK, who was another terrible artist who NME would never admit they had got it wrong on. We didn't stay around for long, and missed them apparently releasing some dirty birds into the sky, but I may have just not noticed it because they were too tedious for us to keep our eyes on the stage.
So here I finally was at the main stage of the Reading Festival! I wondered how many great bands had graced this stage over the years, and if they had played in exactly the same spot or if the stage has been moved around. The big innovation this year was the secondary barrier, which restricted access to the front of the moshpit by making you walk around it. I had read somewhere that you would have to queue to get in there but fortunately it was open access, and turned out to be a brilliant idea as I'll explain later. I was a bit surprised that the TV screens weren't turned on for the early acts, but I guess the justification was that if you want to see them you just move closer to them, which was possible early in the day. Although there was an initial rush of people getting to the very front I doubt very much they did it to see Towers! Even though I often kept a distance, taking a disposable camera with a zoom was another good idea, as it produced a few pics that bellied my distance from the stage. The most common recurring video when the screens were on between bands was a shock clip about the dangers of throwing gas canisters into fire and a warning to keep bonfires clean and no more than "a pace across".
We weren't there for long, possibly not even ten minutes, before moving towards the Lock Up Stage. I believe I had some fish and chips and I think we saw a bit of King Blues, but I really don't know! I also think we may have ventured on over to the second stage and caught a bit of Duels, but once again just cannot remember for sure! I guess this was the downside of rushing around so much, as here I am not even sure if we saw both of them. But I'm fairly confident we did at least some of this wander before returning to the main stage, and I do remember thinking that we had visited all the stages within just two hours. We did get to see the car crash that was Fightstar which was just about the worst thing I have ever witnessed bar Toploader and Elbow. You'd had thought that being in Busted would be enough to give the critics a field day but they had had the gall to try and claim that Fightstar are a respectable rock band! Although I've got to give credit for some crunching riffs that sounded reasonably promising, the singing was so utterly hideous and tuneless it made me want to vomit blood, and I would have gladly taken the chance to get onstage and arrest him for crimes against humanity and get him put in the same place where hopefully Robbie Williams will be spending his twilight years! You just can't escape it Charlie: if you truly liked good music in the first place you wouldn't have lowered yourself to the depths of Busted and also wouldn't have moved on to an almost-as-bad band under the guise of being creditable!
Knowing that Fightstar would be dire, we hadn't bothered getting too close to the stage, and remained standing towards the Lock Up Arena. I had insisted that we went to see Send More Paramedics - a band who dress like zombies and are named after a quote from Return Of The Living Dead. There's little doubt that they were the best-named band of the weekend and they were also pretty memorable, although not entirely for the right reasons! The Lock Up stage was a blue tent (larger than the Carling stage) which was already rammed in the early afternoon. It was generally hosting shite bands for the 15 year old greebos who haven't moved on yet to good stuff and if they had made the tent larger it would have been able to keep them away from us music lovers for the whole weekend! I had heard that the capacity at Reading had been raised by around 15,000 with no increase to facilities or arena sizes, but it was only this tent that seemed to suffer. On the Paramedics front, it was most memorable when they suffered a power failure early in their set, so were standing onstage not quite knowing what to do, looking very self-conscious that they could hardly act scary! It took quite a while for the sound to come back on and for the set to kick off properly, but when it did they played a reasonably entertaining (unintentional) comedy rock show. They naturally kept calling us "motherfuckers" and have a song brilliantly named Zombie Versus Shark! I was also impressed by their Dawn Of The Dead T-shirts and also how they finished one song with the lyric "I'm going to kill YOU and YOU and YOU!!!" whilst pointing at the audience!
We then paid a proper visit to the second stage to watch NME's darlings The Long Blondes. The Radio 1/NME stage was huge and I swear it was many times the size that it used to be for Leeds 2002. Although it would be better for large crowds if it were outdoors, the compact nature of the site made that impossible, as the sound would certainly interfere with the other stages. However there was a video screen and speakers outside letting those further away get a glimpse of the action and inside there were flashlights shining the names of the sponsors around the ceiling. It had a completely different vibe to the Carling stage as it was on such a massive scale and was built for massive performances. I was particularly impressed that a temporary tent like this could dwarf most venues. Anyway, I saw the complete set by The Long Blondes who played to a fairly large and enthusiastic crowd. The two songs I have got into since seeing them and I think I remember enjoying live were Lust In The Movies and Once And Never Again. They are an undoubtedly cool band and I'm impressed with the songs I know so far, but despite seeing the complete set I didn't enjoy it as much as I think I would if I had been standing further forwards.
I insisted that we stuck around to watch some of Guillemots and got to see them do one song before being dragged impatiently back to the main stage. It was a fascinating trumpet-based affair that went on forever, and although I was too far away to see properly they were dressed very brightly I think. It was very long, interesting and weird and if it wasn't for a shocking unexpected moment coming up I would have been far better off staying to check them out properly, even though I may have got bored as my research indicates all their songs seem to go on forever! I had no interest whatsoever in watching Panic! At The Disco as they seem to be the epitome of emo. However, a shock incident turned their set into what feels like a pivotal moment in musical history.
Things had started out pretty much as I had expected. They came onstage and just seemed dreary and dull. We were too far from the stage to see anything properly and I felt my attention was wandering even though they were only a minute into the first song The Only Difference Between Martyrdom And Suicide Is Press Coverage. But then chaos ensued!! I didn't fully understand what had happened until I'd got back home but had realised the music had stopped and the singer was lying flat on the stage! Nick informed me he'd been bottled and had suddenly just dropped a minute or so later. The video screen was killed off and a bouncer rushed to his aid. For a solid five minutes we were in shock as for all we knew he had been killed! However he groggily got to his feet and continued performing. I've since studied YouTube footage of this event and could see it was a pretty good hit and for some reason the crowd at the front kept chanting "Panic!" rather than standing in shocked silence like we were. At the time though I just didn't have a clue what had happened and thought maybe he'd just collapsed for no reason so was surprised he got through the rest of the set. Somehow Panic! achieved the impossible and managed to win me over, with their remarkable demonstration of resilience coupled with a memorable cover version of Karma Police from a piano. And as much as his face is one you may like to punch, this made me realise that violence against poor bands is wrong, and the person I would have preferred to punch is the skinhead Mancunian who did it! Cool song titles such as Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off and his defiant statement of "we're having a great time!" even earned them some respect from me, and if this incident hadn't occurred I would no doubt be giving a negative review saying I wish he'd been bottled!!
Upon returning home and reading that Brendan had been knocked out immediately by a bottle we'd never seen and looking at a pic of the knobhead who had supposedly done this and seeing that he looked like the most unpleasant criminal I'd ever seen meant I understood the full story. I had a feeling this was a pivotal moment at the time but rather than leading to vitriol against bottlers it was made out to be an act of war against emo. I think that emo is quite simply a gradual shift on from greebo which is destined to be around as long as there are kids who like guitars and want to hear bands whining about misery in a faux "authentic" manner and to feel secure in being around people with identical clothes and taste. The crowd at Reading looked like a far more open-minded bunch than I'd seen at previous Carling Weekenders simply because they were not kitted out in identikit black clothes. The fact is that the entire greebo/emo population seemed to be either huddled in the Concrete Jungle stage or perhaps crying in the corner of their tents!! Generally speaking, having to give so much effort/money to successfully get tickets seemed to be a great thing, as it meant most people here were determined to be positive and to actually do stuff. Apart from this act of idiocy the crowd were up-for-it and seemed determined to try and enjoy everything!
After this memorable incident our fellowship separated as I decided to go upon one of my legendary festival wanders. The alternative was sticking around to watch the entirety of The Subways and Fall Out Boy which felt about as appealing to me as a swim in the toilets! I lose track of chronology a little around this point. I know that a helicopter kept flying over with a banner saying "a matter of life and death", which I interpreted as a homage to the movie, but was in fact an advertisement for the latest Iron Maiden album. Considering there weren't that many people who looked like Iron Maiden fans this came across as a cool but somewhat pointless publicity stunt and I wonder how much money the band wasted on it! I have no idea if I saw any of Field Music on the Carling Stage. One thing however I do know is that I missed Gogol Bordello, which in retrospect is a disaster as they are now one of my favourite bands. I had thought I had planned this festival down to the last detail so it is a shame that I wasn't quite up with the latest acts. However, it also goes to show that the festival was at the cutting edge of new music, even more so than NME who didn't start shouting about some of these bands until after the event. I guess it has something to do with this internet thingy making music move so fast?! And in fact Gogol Bordello have been around since the turn of the century anyway, as I was shocked to learn later.
However, I have no problem remembering that the first goal of my wander was to witness the brilliantly named Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly. This may come across as a silly moniker, but seems more sensible when you consider his real name is Steve Duckworth! Some lazy reviewers have since dismissed him as yet another bland singer-songwriter differentiated by a cool name, and I've even heard him being called emo, but I beg to differ. Get Cape proved one of the most memorable sets of the weekend, and I can't quite believe the devotion shown by the enormous crowd, some of whom were waving around a John Barnes banner! His set whizzed by, and he came across as Badly Drawn Boy energised by Arctic Monkeys with a voice far too strong to lump in with the James-Blunt-alikes! I Spy and Chronicles Of A Bohemian Teenager provoked probably the loudest sing-alongs of the weekend, and he was backed by a trumpeter wearing a Kenny Dalglish T-shirt! His lengthy shout-out for Love Music Hate Racism was met with warm applause, and made more sense when I read he is half Burmese. I was fully converted long before the "ba ba ba ba ba" bit and I later purchased his album and saw him playing Wolverhampton. Steve has since referred to this show as something truly special that may not be beaten, so read onto future reviews to find out if it lived up to this!
This was my last visit of the day to the Carling Stage, which is regrettable considering that Little Man Tate, The Sunshine Underground, Bromheads Jacket and Howling Bells were to follow. Sadly none of these groups had yet registered on my radar, and I do wonder what possessed the planners to decide on this running order, as I had never heard of the higher bands on the bill, and still have no idea who headliners Bedouin Soundclash are! I can only guess the planners were people of excellent taste, who decided nobody would know who any of the bands were so they may as well put them on according to who they thought sounded the best. Although the continuous wandering-around had its disadvantages, it was perhaps justified by my very quick visit back to the main stage. I turned my head left for about five seconds and heard The Subways singing "you are so cool, READING FESTIVAL!!" which was a classic irresistible trick and was surely the highlight of their set. With just a few seconds of effort I had seen all that I needed to see of them, and I now really appreciate this Rock 'N' Roll Queen tune. I also saw they had a backdrop (as did most main stagers) and would judge their set as the highest enjoyment-per-second rate ever, stealing the crown from The Polyphonic Spree at Leeds 2002!
The next part of my wander took me over to the second stage where Peaches was about to start. I think my main thought was to kill time before hearing You Can't Fool Me Dennis by Mystery Jets. I would have then been determined to return to the main stage so I wouldn't miss The Boy With The Arab Strap by Belle And Sebastian. Although Peaches always comes across in NME as a mannish musical freak, she attracted a massive crowd and earned my respect with an outstanding pop performance. She also looks quite normal in the flesh, although maybe that was because I was at a distance! It was a supremely funky electro-pop set opened by a 30-second tune based around the line "impeach my bush" as Peaches was carried onstage. Her band were dressed in futuristic silver garb whereas Peaches finished up in just bra and pants, at one point even stripping them off to reveal another set of bright pink underwear underneath! She was certainly the bravest person of the festival by daring to crowdsurf wearing so little, but miraculously returned to the stage and continued with no fuss. I think she was also trying to incite the crowd to wave their private parts around, which thankfully nobody did. I also remember her set was dominated by pink lighting and that she had a blow-up penis, which hilariously was stretchered off when it developed a puncture! She also dominated her bandmates, poking one in the ear with her foot and making another stand behind her and hold her guitar so it would appear that she was playing the amazing riff. Fuck The Pain Away and Two Guys (For Every Girl) were also excellent tunes, and I could see the large crowd contained genuine fans, largely female!
After this storming set, the excitement levels dropped off due to the usual wait for the next band to come on. It would have helped if there had been some inspired DJing, but unfortunately only the main stage seemed to make much effort on this front. I just don't understand how a paid DJ could be so disinterested in playing exciting tunes to motivate a crowd. I also believe they put up some anti-crowdsurfing signs around this time, which were quite amusing road sign style triangular signs with a cross through a diagram of somebody crowdsurfing. I took this as a good indicator that the action was going to kick off! Mystery Jets took to the stage before a smaller crowd than Peaches and launched into the astonishing The Boy Who Ran Away. The song didn't register at the time but I have since heard it, recognised it and realised that I had remembered it from this show. All I was concerned with was You Can't Fool Me Dennis, which some of the crowd had been singing enthusiastically before they had came on. Fortunately for me, this was the next song! I find it hard to believe the set could have gone anywhere worthwhile after this so stuck to my plan of leaving. I did this because I didn't want to miss Belle And Sebastian do anything important, but also had lost the will to see any more of Mystery Jets now they had played the only one I knew. I wouldn't mind seeing them properly, as any band who come from somewhere called Eel Pie Island and have their Dad on guitar are worth getting into!
I was utterly unconcerned that I had missed all of bottled boy band Fall Out Boy and the majority of The Subways so returned from my excursion knowing that I had had a much better time. In fact, this wander formed the meat of the days music and the afternoon would have seemed much duller without it and I look down in pity at the type of kids who queue for hours to get Fall Out Boy tickets! Perhaps that's a bit negative but hating a band can be such fun and it's difficult to be neutral when faced with a group so bland. Another thing I didn't attempt to do was visit the signing tent. The Hives experience of Leeds 2002 had put me off the idea totally and I didn't want anything to distract me from the live music. Dirty Pretty Things were certainly the most interesting prospect, although I wouldn't have minded punching Fall Out Boy or meeting Slayer, who were the only interesting band signing amongst the greebo rubbish on the Sunday. But anyway, I was now determined to root out a good spot on the main stage for Kaisers and Franz. By committing to this I was writing off my chances of enjoying The Vines, Secret Machines and Primal Scream on the second stage, but as I had already seen them before except Machines I didn't mind too much. I also missed Hundred Reasons but I can't feign any disappointment on that front.
I met up again with Nick and Ali behind the second barrier in a smug mood, both because I had seen such amazing bands and that my lack of a phone didn't hinder our finding each other. I grabbed some more food before watching Belle And Sebastian take to the stage in front of their banner. Although they have a reputation for being very twee, I was taken aback by just how twee they proved to be. Despite their wimpiness, the sheer loveliness of Funny Little Frog and The Blues Are Still Blue coupled with my slight knowledge of these songs won me over. Nick hated it, as I'd expected, but as I insisted we saw the whole thing I think he gradually warmed to them, and was won over by the finish. More surprisingly, the crowd were also quite positive towards them and there was no bottling. I was most shocked though that Ali enjoyed them from start to finish! Belle And Sebastian had expressed reservations about playing in front of a "rock" crowd but had nothing to worry about. Five years ago twee indie music would never have won the crowd over more than Fall Out Boy but moods were shifting and timeless songwriting was triumphing over fad greebo music. There were around seven people in the band, all of whom would have looked at home in a Hugh Grant movie. Stuart won us over by whipping a girl from the front onto the stage for a song about him fighting with a band mate over her. This was a heart-warming moment, and her dubious age gave us plenty of ammo for paedophile jokes, especially when he ran off with her to the side of the stage! Stuart also had some mascara applied to him for no reason whatsoever around this point. All this was keeping my attention nicely but I was enjoying it perhaps less than either Nick or Ali as I was so desperate to hear The Boy With The Arab Strap. I was rewarded as the band chose to finish on it, and I did my best to enjoy it but Stuart moved to a different mic and the drop-off in sound quality was noticeable. Teachers may be a good show but you know this is a good song when it is the best part of the programme. After finishing off Arab Strap, I was prepared to give them a warm send-off and the band then silenced any lingering doubters by announcing that it was Stuart's birthday and asking us to sing happy birthday to him. It may have beaten Peaches to the award for the gayest moment of the weekend but it was gay in a good way! Stuart looked like the most mortified person on earth as his birthday was announced and he donned his hat as he waved goodbye. Best band ever from Scotland? The Supernaturals undoubtedly deserve that title but Belle And Sebastian proved themselves worthy opponents.
Things were going very nicely indeed. At previous festivals we were always at loggerheads as to who was good and who wasn't but so far there had been very little conflict. Belle And Sebastian are the kind of band we would have had raging arguments about years ago, with my position that they are OK, sometimes fun and completely inoffensive versus everyone else saying they were awful. It seems our tastes are finally starting to converge, with a greater appreciation of all varieties of music. Or I'd prefer to think everyone else has finally caught up with my strategy of variety and open-mindedness! However, I encountered a bit of fuss as Nick was determined to stand as far away from the main stage as possible, whereas I wanted to be in a good position. It would have been utter insanity to be standing far away from the bands we so desperately wanted to see and although I wasn't up for the heat of the moshpit I didn't want to be standing back for no reason. After an unnatural amount of fuss I finally won out and we moved in front of the secondary barrier. It was nice to see my logic prevailed as at festivals it normally doesn't, and my assertion that we must do something is usually met by a determination that everyone does the opposite just to spite me! Although I knew we would have a much better time standing further forwards, I was pleased to discover an added bonus that the crowd was actually less packed towards the front. In fact, standing just in front of the secondary barrier was so relaxed we could even sit down between bands! This secondary barrier proved a godsend, and only posed problems when it became too difficult to get in or out. On this first night my theory is that no-one was aware of it so just pushed forwards, encountered a crowd and gave up. As we knew about it we got to enjoy a moshpit area that was almost too quiet.
Around this time there was some kind of prize draw to win tickets for Reading next year and also Glastonbury. The legendary Mani took to the stage, asking us if we had seen Charlie because everyone backstage was looking for him! He got a heroes welcome and I hear that GLC did this draw on one of the other nights. I also got to enjoy the DJing on the main stage that put what I normally hear to shame. The crowd really got into the excellent Tribute by Tenacious D as its video was played featuring nice guy Dave Grohl as Satan! In fact I'm not sure at what point they played which song so I'll just make up the DJing order as I go through the review. It says something about my determination to see Kaisers that I had no qualms about putting up with a full set by Yeah Yeah Yeahs. I've never liked them, I guess mainly because their singer looks like a freak with a horribly yelpy voice and the rest of the band look like ageing geeky goths. I did however approach their set with an open mind and heroically tried to get into it. But now looking back on it there's just no hiding it: They were shit and Karen O was even freakier and yelpier than I'd anticipated! Things started off in mildly amusing fashion when a set of look-alikes took to the stage and were theatrically kicked off by the real band. Karen was dressed quite horribly in a bright green dress with purple tights, and her fringe looked more bowlesque than ever. Although Peaches had put on an amazing show to back up her style there is no justifying Yeah Yeah Yeahs place on any cool list. She also had some kind of grate to hide her face and kept rolling around and waving a flower about: This was definitely not the quiet-looking person who this morning had been behind the DJ desk on the Carling Stage. Her voice was not only awful but far too loud in the mix and the only cool thing about the band was that the drummer seemed to be playing along quite happily only using his right hand! I didn't recognise a single song (I thought I had known two) and apparently they closed with an "acoustic version of Maps" but with the hideous sound coming out of the stage I just couldn't recognise it.
The inspired DJ quickly put on The Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Song by The Flaming Lips but sadly only for a few seconds. The sun was now starting to go down and excitement levels were rising! We started singing at each other the Kaisers finest lyrics "we're like birds of a feather AND YOU CAN BE THE FAT ONE!" I think we may have sat down for a bit as well. One thing I know for certain was that we hadn't had a drop of alcohol all day and were high purely on excitement! Quite a few flags were out and I was surprised to note that most people used tent poles as flag posts. There was a black and white England flag, a Scotland flag (for Belle And Sebastian) and, most amusingly, a massive banner from Great Yarmouth police advising residents to take care of their valuables and be vigilant against crime! It was lucky for them that the police never ventured into the arena, and I am baffled as to how that sign got here, and also how we never saw it again despite the effort that must have gone into bringing it here. The video screen brought us one of its highlights as Jarvis Cocker emerged from a tiny dollhouse to say hi and play us his new single Cunts Are Still Running The World. It may be the first song I've heard from Cocker for many years but proved he hasn't lost his touch. The video conveniently displayed the lyrics and we all laughed along at his wry observations. It's just a shame that the organisers ran out of ideas and decided to repeat this video (and Tribute) on other nights, as it never matched the excitement of the first time.
However, we were getting impatient for Kaiser Chiefs and I'm pleased to say they didn't let us down. Although I think they haven't got the depth of quality of Franz or Monkeys they generated a level of excitement perhaps not matched again this weekend. Things opened in a promising manner with Na Na Na Na Naa followed by Saturday Night. By the time they reached the "birds of a feather" lyric we were well and truly into it. They weren't afraid to throw good songs at us, following these two astonishing b-sides with single Everyday I Love You Less And Less whereupon Ricky jumped into the crowd for the first time. I remember that Peanut had dumped his hat and was wearing a T-shirt with "John And Paul And George And Ringo And Peanut" written across the front. The set then calmed down into alternating new songs and old classics. Newbie Angry Mob was particularly memorable, as it became a chant on the final night! Born To Be A Dancer reaffirmed Ricky's ability to do the "woooaaah" and "na na na na na" bits and I'm pleased to confirm that the new songs didn't do away completely with these classic Kaiser tricks. Surprise highlight of the set was b-side Time Honoured Tradition, which we found ourselves singing for days and even making up drum solos for it that don't appear on the record! I must admit Modern Way still fails to grab me and I believe we may have had two new songs on the trot around the middle. I think Ryan from The Cribs may have joined them onstage around this point but can't vouch for it! The massive "K" and "C" that was hanging above the band however generated the most excitement. Ricky demonstrated that he could point at them and each would light up, and we should shout "KAISER!" and "CHIEFS!" respectively! "I could do this all night" Ricky admitted, and with such a top quality gimmick I wouldn't have minded! And the joke about there being a KFC out there left with only an "F" was quite funny as well.
The secondary barrier however did have its faults, and I'd never expected that it would be so effective at thinning out the crowd that the atmosphere would be muted and there would be no crush whatsoever. I can't believe that the crowd didn't get into the Kaiser Chiefs chant, and even an inspired Mexican wave didn't motivate as much as I'd had hoped. Ricky was running from side-to-side and asking us to perform our wave in time with his movements. There was no doubt he was the most entertaining frontman of the weekend, and I just couldn't get over how cool the "K" and "C" looked! I'd expected I Predict A Riot towards the end so didn't believe my ears when we heard it just after the middle. This was the point where we ceased to care about what everyone else was doing and started to jump a bit. Ricky, in a break from his legendary jumps in the air, walked down the stairs conveniently located centre-stage and jumped into the crowd again. This reminds me of the story of how Ricky avoided massive injury from an oncoming car by doing his jump onto its bonnet! Although Riot is a great tune, it is overplayed and it was such a shock to hear it before the end we found it more difficult to get into. Kaisers had only Oh My God remaining to pull out of their hats and saved it as a big finish, dragging it out to an insane degree and trying to get us to sing along. Kaiser Chiefs had managed to fill their hour set quite nicely, only missing out b-side You Can Have It All. Also, I must add that I saw this set on the television afterwards and was amazed to see how many strobes there were. I normally can't stand them, but Chiefs were so good it didn't bother me for once!
SETLIST
Na Na Na Na Naa/Saturday Night/Everyday I Love You Less And Less/Heat Dies Down/Born To Be A Dancer/Angry Mob/Time Honoured Tradition/Modern Way/Learnt My Lesson Well/Highroyds/I Predict A Riot/Everything Is Average Nowadays/Caroline, Yes/Oh My God
(This may not be in the correct order.)
One thing I had noticed about the scheduling is that a 40 minute gap was planned between Kaisers and Franz and I was concerned that it would drag and feel like wasted time. There were only 10 bands on the main stage today, as opposed to 14 on the Carling Stage, and I was thinking I'd had much preferred it if they'd had cut out the fat and gave us more music. However, the quality of DJing reached such epic proportions that this gap was a strong contender for best portion of the day! In my head I had been hearing I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) by The Proclaimers all weekend so was particularly excited when it was played. They also played Song 2, which certainly got the crowd going. These are supposedly obvious choices but DJs usually shy away from them in order to play some unlistenable shit: Therefore full marks to Huw Stevens for playing something that the crowd loved. Even more inspired was video footage of some random guys doing a stirring rendition of All The Small Things by Blink 182. With the whininess of the original version removed this song took on an extra dimension and felt like a classic. The real excitement came when an instrumental started. At first it didn't register much, although we noted it was a bit different to the usual indie anthems. However, after about ten minutes it had been looped enough to be rammed forever into our minds. We kept thinking it would end, but instead it just built up and got more exciting! The crowd got into it and ended up dancing like maniacs, and we were gutted when the music stopped to make way for Franz. Our first thought was that it was an Iranian war march from the 1940s. After extensive research upon returning home I eventually emailed Huw Stevens who led me to the correct song as being Bucovina by Shantel. It turned out to be based on gypsy brass bands from Macedonia and was chosen by Felix from Basement Jaxx. My original thought had been a toss-up between Time Honoured Tradition (Kaisers), The Dark Of The Matinee (Franz) or perhaps even The Boy With The Arab Strap (Belle And Sebastian) for the prestigious award of Song Of The Day. However, after careful consideration I have decided that Bucovina is the deserved winner!
So should Franz Ferdinand be playing after Kaiser Chiefs? Although I think Chiefs were better on the night, Franz had the air of headliners about them and probably deserved it for the simple reason that they have two albums worth of tunes to pick from. I still can't believe how they smashed onto the scene in early 2004 so perfectly formed, blowing away shite like The Strokes who NME were still blabbering on about. At first I was disappointed with the sparseness of the Franz stage set, and the whole crowd felt slightly muted as they had thinned out after the Chiefs had finished. Michael was a sensible opener though and I was determined to enjoy myself. Alex was wearing a bright red shirt, I recall that Bob didn't seem as miserable as usual and the rain that had started to pour did not remotely put me off. After a couple of anonymous tracks, exposing my lack of knowledge of the band, I was particularly excited by Do You Want To. The BBC adopted it as the anthem of the festival and it certainly was a strong contender. I was particularly excited by the introduction as the band played the middle bit at the start, screaming "do you want to?!" while question marks appeared on a projector behind them. I do not understand how such a catchy tune could take me so long to get into, but my efforts to get into it now reaped their rewards, and my argument with a certain ignorant party as to if it was a classic or a turkey has once again gone my way! I guess I was enjoying the music so much I hadn't been checking, but now a large video screen behind the band had been revealed along with the word "FRANZ." The screen showed the band in stylish black and white and I can't believe I didn't anticipate this trick of showing us more as the set went along. Little did I know that more was to come! I'm Your Villain and Tell Her Tonight made an impression on me but The Dark Of The Matinee really stood out as perhaps the best tune of the lot.
The classics kept coming at a ridiculous rate with Walk Away and Eleanor Put Your Boots On. I can't remember too much about each song. I think it was just a case of happily dancing around despite the rain, trying to sing along and thinking how the video screen made them look like immortal legends only three years since bursting onto the scene. The sensory overload reached crazy proportions as the band huddled together in the middle of the stage and started the introduction to Take Me Out! This classic has not lost one iota of its potency since I first heard it and we decided to mosh like moomins. But I also felt shock. These guys were supposed to play a 90-minute set but almost all the hits had been exhausted in the first half! I almost retreated into a shocked stupor thinking to myself how they could possibly fill up the rest of the set, or if they would even attempt to play until 11:30pm. I do feel that the atmosphere genuinely changed. For a start, Nick actually decided to call it quits and go back to the tent, which I thought was a bit negative. Franz may not be the best band on Earth but I certainly wasn't prepared to abandon them after waiting so long to see them. Now that the pressure to play hits was gone the band loosened up a bit. Sadly the crowd continued to disperse creating a graveyard feel to the slot: Although they were still onstage it felt like the entertainment for the day had finished! Strangely enough I didn't feel like going over to see Primal Scream, as they would have felt too intense and it seemed like this evening was now winding down not up. I got to see The Scream on the BBC highlights at Leeds when I got home and they looked pretty good, albeit exactly what I expected. Can't quite believe that Mani got arrested at Leeds on the next night, and it's also a strange thought that Zane Lowe and Jo Whiley were sitting in a television studio behind the comedy tent while here I was wandering around the site. But ANYWAY. Franz gradually dragged my wandering mind back to the stage with the excellent Darts Of Pleasure. Around this point some random cam cam dancing robots at the back of the stage kitted out in frilly red & black dresses were revealed, which started to move their legs robotically in time to the tunes. This show was now starting to upstage Chiefs in the visual department! However, tunes such as 40 Ft and The Fallen completely drifted past me. They are either poor efforts or more likely my ignorance of their b-sides was starting to bite.
Franz left the stage and I crossed my fingers that they'd come back on with This Fire, which was literally the only song I could think of still left to play, excluding their interesting cover version of Sexy Boy or You Could Have It So Much Better, neither of which had made the set. However, it turns out I'd completely forgot about Jacqueline. Nick had played this to me the day before and I was now ready to enjoy it. I think it swung the second half of the show in their favour, and in retrospect the balance wasn't too off. If they'd had saved Take Me Out for towards the end the whole dynamic would had worked much better, as despite what Nick said it is still a big "impact" tune. Jacqueline also made me realise just how many amazing songs Franz Ferdinand have. Out of the 18 songs played I now count 11 as "classics" and I'd had been much more ahead of the game if I'd had a chance to see them live earlier on! One of the most dramatic moments of the whole evening was Outsiders as dozens of drummers from (my research says) Kaiser Chiefs, Madness, The Long Blondes, Towers Of London and others, including Alan Woodhouse of NME/super-SFA fan fame, took to the stage for a crazy bout of tribal beats in a big finale. The video screen seemed to crash and a guy started smashing the real drum kit in a Beta Band stylee but somehow Franz kept it "tight". They then completed an astonishing turn-around by finishing with This Fire, implanting images of fire and chaos into my mind, and the band stepped to the front of the stage to perform a theatrical bow as their farewell. I think it's fair to say both Ali and me were very happy with our first day. I never thought I'd be praising the golden circle as a godsend, but it controlled the crowd so effectively that it became almost too quiet in the moshpit. And to think that Mr Nick had wanted us to be standing miles further back for no reason. Vindication yet again!
SETLIST
Michael/Come On Home/Auf Achse/Do You Want To/I'm Your Villain/Tell Her Tonight/The Dark Of The Matinee/Walk Away/Eleanor Put Your Boots On/Take Me Out/This Boy/Darts Of Pleasure/40 Ft/The Fallen/Jacqueline/Evil And A Heathen/Outsiders/This Fire
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Friday in fact turned out to be the only day we stayed to the absolute end and therefore was the only time we encountered any problems with crowds. We took a bit of time making our way from the main stage back to our tent but it was nothing compared to the chaos at Leeds 2002 when they decided to rebuild a bridge at the height of the rush, and this time they had even laid down proper tracks for us to walk along! I was also slightly shocked that there were no wristband checks on the way out of the arena, being disturbed by how lax the security was compared to other festivals. It was a bit slow but Ali and myself kept moving, discussing all the excitement of the day and debating as to whether Nick would call it quits and go home. Personally nothing less than complete immobility would stop me at a festival, but the stamina of others is sometimes lacking when it comes to the crunch! Of course this gave us plenty of cheap quotes along the lines of "I hear the sound of you walking away" but Nick surprised us both by being alert and in perfect mind of sound. I was tired and my legs were aching. I would go into more detail of what we did but have no first hand memory and only my confused notes to follow. I have recorded that my first glow stick ended up "hilariously" chucked down the toilet on this night, and recall the amusing thought of a stoner wondering why the waste in the toilets was glowing radioactive! I know that our minds were firmly on the music and we made no further efforts to communicate with our neighbours but as they looked like young ignorant emo kids and as we were having plenty of fun giggling amongst ourselves we didn't mind. I also know that at no time did we venture back into the arena to enjoy any of the entertainments. The cinema tent (especially Team America on Sunday night) would have passed the time nicely but we remembered how The World Is Not Enough on the first night at Leeds 2000 left us so tired we never recovered! After a sweaty day of live music the lure of Steve Lamacq DJing or The Silent Disco was just not tempting at all.
My notes for the night continue to muddle. On one hand I have recorded that we went straight to bed, and also the extreme pleasure of drinking a bit of water and brushing my teeth which felt dirty beyond belief. My most confusing comment is something about "this is the only time we needed any pills" which I can only guess is a comment about stimulating substances and how we happily managed without, and our lethargy towards the end of each day was the only time we could have done with some help. In actual fact I have a feeling we didn't go to bed for around an hour and I had a few pints and got to show off my amazing retro compilation. It opens in understated but dramatic fashion with a classic tune played on Lost, then reaches an early peak with Hippy Hippy Shake, which Ali seemed rabid about! Nick liked the simple charms of The Last Time and I wished that we played Sunny Afternoon in the sunshine rather than pitch black. I am particularly proud at how The Undertones and T-Rex are hazily bridged by Glen Miller and surprised that nobody else seemed to know Mr. Blue Sky. And I am supremely proud of the final bluster of Cum On Feel The Noize, which seemed particularly exciting in a tent and relevant to our Wolverhampton roots. For me this compilation was a soundtrack of our weekend despite having no relevance to the bands we were watching, and it received a repeat listen on a later night by popular demand. And it was more evidence that after years of "musical differences" our tastes were starting to converge a bit. For historic purposes, I give the complete tracklisting of my compilation below and also document that I am writing this sentence on 15th November 2006, almost two months after I started this review!
1. Mama Cass Elliot - Make Your Own Kind Of Music
2. Swinging Blue Jeans - Hippy Hippy Shake
3. The Rolling Stones - The Last Time
4. The Kinks - Sunny Afternoon
5. Elvis Presley - Heartbreak Hotel
6. The Beatles - Hello, Goodbye
7. The Undertones - Here Comes The Summer
8. Glen Miller - Moonlight Serenade
9. T-Rex - Get It On
10. The Beach Boys - Help Me Rhonda
11. David Bowie - Space Oddity
12. Electric Light Orchestra - Mr. Blue Sky
13. Love - Seven & Seven Is
14. Queen - You're My Best Friend
15. Slade - Cum On Feel The Noize
SONG OF THE DAY: Shantel - Bucovina
