The second day got off to a truly dire start with Jimmy Barnes. Looking at his picture in the festival guide seemed to indicate a cross between Ricky Martin and some middle-aged Neighbours character. Fortunately we only saw a few seconds of him, his awfulness anticipated. This was mainly to see if he was as bad as his photo looked. There seems to be something terrible going on with the V main stage openers I'd seen with this, Witness and Toploader making Westlife look wonderful by comparison.
After something so painful, Snow Patrol seemed almost great. In reality they were just a fairly nice Scottish act that got some of the crowd moshing and I think I joined in a little too, although it must be remembered I was STILL nursing my wounds from V2000! It started to rain too but nothing could get in the way of me using the word nice again. Because that's what this performance was.
Things then took a truly distressing turn for the worst as we (minus Ali who had just left us) went over to get a decent place for Embrace. The problem was we had to put up with the unforgivable wailing of the vomit-inducing Nelly Furtado which broke new barriers in shit music. She really was bad, as we remarked over and over again very loudly, since it seemed clear no-one could be falling for this. And I think quite a few were thinking the same as us. Awful, making her eventual transformation into an intriguing pop star much more of a surprise!
It's clear a festival has severe line-up problems when waiting around for Embrace is worth doing but it was the best thing going as we pushed closer to the front. The moshpit was good and the band were in uplifting voice with quite a swagger about them. Come Back To What You Are and All You Good Good People sounded like decent tunes rather than fifth-rate Oasis. They may have missed out One Big Family, but Embrace were far better than they had any right to be!
I insisted on sticking around to hear Faithless doing 2 Come 1. Their unspectacular performance at V99 being stuck in my mind, I never expected much. But WOW! Forget the b-sides and unworthy singles that fill up their shows, because the fact is that Insomnia was quite simply the anthem of the festival. It was so loud that the ground was shaking. It was glorious and stuck in the head for days after, physically as well as mentally! But for some reason Nick wasn't up for it and only by thinking about it in the evening was this song fully appreciated, and we wandered off as the band went into 2 Come 1 which I only got to hear from the distance.
Despite having to see a few grizzly seconds of Wheatus whining through Teenage Dirtbag on the way there, Shed Seven were the first must-see act of the day and it was worth the small sacrifice. For some reason Ali had refused point blank to come along and had chosen Coldplay who were doing their mediocre thing on the main stage but it was his loss because the Sheds pulled it off again! It wasn't quite as good as V99, and they should definitely learn to open with Disco Down, but there was a wonderful moshpit, particularly during She Left Me On Friday, and I was surprised to see I'd learnt loads of their songs from seeing them live so much! Not much to say here except that it's hard to see this band live and not enjoy it, so Ali was wrong to miss them!
It was then back to my beloved JJB Arena to see The Avalanches perform their one hit and to get a good spot for Kylie. But there was one problem: the useless fuckers didn't play it! They did it for the Chelmsford crowds of course but us Midlanders clearly weren't seen as important enough to get their one song. Their set was loads of fooling around onstage but their sheer audacity in not playing their one and only hit Frontier Psychiatrist, which was a recent single as well, defies all comprehension. I suggest a lengthy prison sentence for First Degree Arrogance, and a ban on any records the bastards may consider releasing in future, as this was completely offensive. And then Nick wandered off to see Muse. A crazy decision if ever there was one.
In some ways this may stand as the high point of my entire gigging life. Someone who is known by even the most ignorant of people. I was honoured to be there and towards the front and have no sympathy for those who weren't: you didn't even need to arrive an hour early to make it into the tent! But it must be put into perspective: as fantastic as it was to say I'd seen Kylie she really wasn't that great, just a nice pleasant pop act no more memorable than Shed Seven or Embrace if it wasn't for her fame. Kylie was admirable in thinking big as she'd bought along a full dance troupe, a large stage to climb and her name in flashing letters. This was the full show in a muddy field and that must be applauded! It was an incredibly polished performance including Celebration, Better The Devil You Know and Spinning Around, which was the finale.
I guess she also played Can't Get You Out Of My Head but that had yet to become the monster hit it would (it's a genuinely good song I should add). There was loads of dancing and there's no doubt that this was the best thing I could have been doing at the time, and with such dire acts as Texas and Muse gracing the other stages it was no surprise everyone else wanted to be here. Things were soured somewhat by yet more omissions, as she didn't play I Should be So Lucky, Some Kind Of Bliss or, most importantly, The Locomotion! But I guess I understand why she'd want to distance herself from those older songs, even if she should have played them anyway!
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So there you go, I'd finished a music festival with Kylie, a strange turn if ever there was one. Nick fell asleep early yet again but this time Ali and I had the opportunity to scream Insomnia down his ear, which was funny indeed, it being the tune of the day and highly suitable to the situation! I couldn't get that song out of my head for a long time. We also took a close-up photo of him sleeping for some reason, but it never turned out, which is a shame. And then it was back home after a long wait for our lift, but not before I took the above shot of Nick, with a view to creating the ultimate album cover. I'd say it ain't bad.
So there you go. Now I've written about it I'm filled with massively mixed views. There were some absolutely awful acts I endured, but also some wonderful performances. This was the festival of the random song, with Insomnia and Head, Shoulder, Knees & Toes, plus that circus music everyone knows which for some reason stuck in our heads on the Monday. I suppose this is proof that all you need is a good attitude, a handful of watchable acts and only one or two great bands to make a fantastic festival, even if I'd seen a worrying number of pop acts. But at least I didn't see Toploader, and I guess that's the main thing in the end!
SONG OF THE DAY: Faithless - Insomnia
