Who
Half Man Half Biscuit
Support
The Humdrum Express
Where
Bilston The Robin 2
When
10th December 2015
Price
£20.00
Who with
No-one
Position
Towards the front
Comments
Was it really over two years since I last saw HMHB? Well, according to this archive it is, which also reminds me that I was in China in 2014 so had missed out then. This was the 13th time I'd seen Half Man Half Biscuit, and the seventh time in Bilston. These trips aren't just motivated by convenience though, as since my uni days I'd travelled all the way to Northampton to see them as I'd done last time, plus a return trip to Manchester and an overnight stay in Shrewsbury. I decided at the last minute to go as I didn't want to risk a clash with my job, never quite knowing if I'd be asked to travel away on short notice. This did mean that I was attending two gigs in a week which means more stuff to write up at the busiest time of year, but I didn't want to miss out, and I'm sure many of the attendees who enjoyed HMHB tonight haven't missed many trips to Bilston since they started coming either. Due to the short notice I didn't bother inviting anyone else along, purchasing tickets online that very same week to pick up at the box office on the night. It had been a very busy week, as I travelled to Oxford on Monday for work and had started watching all the Star Wars films to prepare myself for The Force Awakens, which I was seeing on the first full day of release. Although I'm busy I like to think I now have my priorities in order, remembering the regret I feel at missing out on events like The Beach Boys and Grandaddy reunions in 2012, knowing that I earned no kudos at work for doing so and fearing I may never get another chance to enjoy them. I had an utterly wretched day at work dealing with an issue that I didn't have the knowledge to resolve at my boss's insistence, knowing that no matter what I did it would be a thankless task. At least he was out of the office so I could leave promptly, although I did fear an evening phone call. Sometimes I think I'll be better off just ignoring random tasks I don't want to do and ploughing on with my actual job which is what I ultimately will be judged on!

I drove back from the office and had contemplated driving to the show, but as usual the convenience of public transport, such as being able to relax, have a drink, read, listen to music and draft these notes was overwhelmingly more appealing. I was reading a mini Shakespeare book that could fit in my pocket and attempting to plough through my iPod Christmas songs, which I ultimately finished doing on December 24th. I had a good bit of extra time to watch an episode of BBC3 sitcom Josh and a Star Wars preview, in addition to cooking tea. I then whisked into town on the train before heading for the tram stop. It was just a seven minute ride to Bilston so I was mad when I boarded with £2-£3 in my hand and was told that the fare was £4.70 return! It was an outrageous price, as you can get unlimited bus travel across Wolves/Birmingham/Coventry for cheaper. I offered my card and was even more annoyed to be told that they don't accept cards, which is hard to believe in this day and age. The conductor was infuriatingly polite and professional, so my anger must be directed at his bosses. The tram was nearly empty, and it's not rocket science that it they halved their prices they'd likely triple their customers and everyone would benefit! I got off the tram before it got moving and headed to the cash machine, before finding that I had £5 at the bottom of my pocket anyway, but by this point I had to wait for the next tram to save the embarrassment of boarding the same one again. I'd vowed the conductor I'd save money by getting the bus, then realised that the bus was so slow and wasn't viable for my return journey, so I had little alternative.

I arrived in Bilston to find the town centre nearly deserted and the Town Hall impressively lit up, then headed past the pub adjoining the venue which was relatively quiet. The Robin itself was beautifully illuminated too, and I struggle to accept it is a hotel. Surely the sound must carry into the rooms, or is it assumed that all the guests are attending the concert? I had no hassle picking my ticket up on the door and was pleasantly waved in with no oppressive search, although I'd much prefer they didn't confiscate the ticket on arrival. I'd arrived nicely on time and there looked to be a healthy crowd but with room for a few more people, so it didn't seem to have quite sold out. The venue was a lovely contrast to my horrific experience at the NIA seven days earlier, as for example the terms and conditions on the ticket did say strictly no photos but they weren't Nazi enough to enforce it, and people were snapping away happily and considerately, avoiding self-indulgent filming and selfies, or at least until a couple of fools went for the typical Twat Selfie in the middle of the moshpit during the main event! Also I got to enjoy two lovely bottles of cider for less than £4 each, and even better they were served in glasses. The venue treated us like adults, and it was a wonderful contrast that made for a positive atmosphere, and one where I was happy to splurge a bit. Also since I wasn't driving I may as well make the most of it! If it wasn't for the fact I'd already eaten I may have been tempted by the decent food on offer too, so perhaps I'll indulge even more next time. The merchandise stand had relocated from the back to near the bar, and although mildly tempted I resisted the vinyl, fridge magnets and cassettes on offer, thinking I had pretty much all the tracks already and knowing I'd already gone through the lengthy process of transferring my records to the PC. I can't imagine ever becoming a vinyl purist!

The bar at the back of the room was closed and the lack of action made this part of the venue look rather run down, but the atmosphere was still good and there were even seats and tables out, although as it was pitch black around them they were quite a trip hazard! First up was Humdrum Express, and astonishingly it was the fourth time I'd seen him, which must surely be a personal record for a support band! He wore his trademark cap and I sense that there was less poetry than he'd delivered before, and also suspect that he mixes it up quite a bit as none of his songs had a ring of familiarity yet, although his style did. For me the highlight was a joke about not getting feedback after selling his guitar on Ebay, but it was an acoustic guitar so feedback just wasn't possible! He passed the time pleasantly enough, but it was a bit awkward when he tried chatting to a large black guy standing in front of him who didn't seem to be particularly enjoying himself, and who then vanished after the set. I think he did applaud at the end though, and although the banter was deeply awkward it was clearly meant in a friendly way. It's nice to see a bit of diversity in a HMHB crowd, as for me they're a band who should appeal to everyone, and it's particularly heartening to see women and younger fans enjoying the band too, even if so many of the attendees were men who clearly have been following the guys since the 1980s. After Humdrum finished I dashed off for a loo break, and my fellow concert goers were excessively polite to the point that it was one punter at a time on the overlong staircase. I spotted an ELO tribute band on the posters but I had the real deal lined up for 2016! If I had more time on my hands it could be an intriguing and relatively inexpensive hobby to make regular visits and check out some of the random people who play this venue! If I do ever find myself retired and bored with money to burn perhaps I will.

At first everyone was afraid to be near the front, perhaps sensing the terrifying moshpit that was to come, but I settled myself in position behind that spot and had a bit of time to fan watch. I saw McIntyre and Davitt football shirts and Nigel asked one of those guys to turn round before launching into banter about 1920s footballers, although I didn't spot a Treadmore shirt, and as these guys stood apart I'm unsure if they'd planned this together. Amusingly someone was wearing a t-shirt featuring Ian Curtis doing a typical dance while wearing oven gloves, and I spotted the geeky guy to the right and think the fleece guy was there too, but sans fleece! There were a few Dukla Prague shirts too and also a scarf, although in my case I'm not sure if I was even wearing a HMHB top so I was letting the side down a bit. Most notable though was the King Of High Vis, who is visible in my photo above. Neil appeared ahead of time to set some stuff up, and fortunately the very large headed guys who appeared in front of me moved on quite rapidly. HMHB came onstage shortly after 9pm, which was earlier than I expected and meant that we were to enjoy pretty much a full two hour set. There was an extremely long piece of intro music to allow ample time to tune up, and I've read it was Jimmy Smith’s version of Elmer Bernstein’s Walk On The Wild Side. The guys were dressed smarter than ever, with Nigel and Ken both wearing shirts, and Carl was sent off quickly on an errand to get some cups for the water. There was a lovely, familiar and relaxed atmosphere and the guys opened with San Antonio Foam Party then Hedley Verityesque, which were two tunes I knew but struggled to name. Apparently this was only the second time I'd ever heard them sing Hedley Verityesque too! The Robin 2 usually has great sound quality but tonight sadly it was too loud, although the mix did clear up a bit as time went by, and I gradually edged back as the room also grew hotter and hotter.

Next up was Old Age Killed My Teenage Bride for my first ever time, which was a good song but exposed the fact that I'd barely heard the Urge For Offal album, and I'm surprised to note that this was the first chance I'd had to see the band since it had come out over a year before! Stuck Up A Hornbeam was another newbie and 1966 And All That was an old favourite I was hearing for the fourth time, but it's an unusual recurring choice given that I'd only got to hear God Gave Us Life once and was still waiting to hear many classics from ACD and Some Call It Godcore at the 13th time of asking. Much more exciting was Outbreak Of Vitas Gerulaitis which got the crowd going, although I noted that by Nigel's standards there was relatively little improv with the lyrics. It does make me wonder whether the improv is down to how playful a mood he's in or is purely to fill in forgotten lines, but tonight it was in fairly short supply. We did have two glorious surprises though with guitar snippets of Busy Little Market Town and D'Ye Ken Ted Moult, both fabulous tunes I'd never heard them play before. They may have been included just to fill time while Ken was tuning up, but I hope to hear them in full another day, and the taster was much appreciated. Unusually a guy threw a Sainsbury's meal deal spoon at Nigel at one point, which caught the singer off guard a bit! My Outstretched Arms and The Bane Of Constance were other newbies, with Neil and Ken swapping instruments on the latter, and Bob Wilson: Anchorman was a much appreciated oldie sandwiched between them. Despite the relative lack of improv the banter was top notch as ever, with Nigel talking about visiting a corner cafe at Woking football ground that was actually on the halfway line, but thinking it would have been churlish to complain, and engaging in a conversation about never having needed to visit Sandbach services.

There was also an anecdote about Wolves FC, with Nigel reminiscing about the late 80s when the Wolves fans had rioted on the first day of the season and they'd heard that their away game in Scarborough had been moved to 11am as a result, so they'd set out from Lime Street at 6am only to find it was at 3pm after all! Nigel and Neil filled the time visiting an aquarium and Nigel was shocked by how large a tuna was, not realising that the small size of the tins was not a reflection of how big they actually are! Nigel pointed out he had loads more stories like that, and we did hear a few more. One especially persistent fan kept shouting for 27 Yards Of Dental Floss, and after a particularly whiney moan after one song about them not playing it Nigel couldn't resist a dig, before admitting he'd forgotten the words and offering for the fan to come up and sing it, a suggestion he didn't take up. He also heckled a few more times after this, but what can the band do if they don't remember the tune? Hopefully as a goodwill gesture they'll play it next time, and I'm surprised to note that I've never heard it live before either, so I'd be quite happy to cross it off my list too! Amusingly a fan turned to someone to tick them off for coming into a lyric too early, when in fact it was Nigel who'd stretched it out so was technically wrong, and to compound this error I think it was the same guy who then called Nigel Neil, before being light heartedly corrected by Nigel, who said at least he'd know for next time (presuming there will be a next time for him!). Carl kept gesticulating to the soundman to adjust the volume so it seems like the mediocre sound quality extended to the stage too, but the fans were enjoying the show, and as the evening went on the moshpit did its usual trick of gradually building before becoming a rampant scene of utter carnage.

The girl in front of me seemed unimpressed by the show and stropped off after the moshpit got a bit too rowdy, but it was pushing the limits as there was a crazy drunk guy being pushed around who kept smashing into everyone and onto the floor, before being carried out by some fellow moshers. Although I very much appreciate the bouncers leaving the fans to it, perhaps keeping an eye on the crowd for genuine problems like this would have been acceptable? Fear My Wraith made its second appearance for me, although as ever Some Call It Godcore was otherwise ignored. Will I ever get to hear Sponsoring The Moshpits live? Although I generally steer clear of pits, if they did play it it could be a Bastard Son Of Dean Friedman moment where I just couldn't help myself! It's always lovely to hear Running Order Squabble Fest, and I'm surprised to note that this was the tenth time in a row I'd heard For What is Chatteris..., which has been an ever-present since the band wrote it, and it's a firm fan favourite. A similar record is claimed by The Light At The End Of The Tunnel (Is The Light Of An Oncoming Train), which the guys have played every time except the first time I saw them, but as they hadn't written it yet in 2001 I'll let them off that. Look Dad No Tunes is another regular I was happy to hear which isn't always played (but usually is), whereas When The Evening Sun Goes Down is a truly rare case of a song I disliked which I've warmed to strongly due to HMHB playing it more often than not. It was also good to hear Them’s The Vagaries, although there was next to no lightshow at all tonight to comment on, and despite the proximity to the festive season I must say we get to hear All I Want For Christmas is A Dukla Prague Away Kit far too often. Although the opportunity was taken for Nigel to do the noises at the end full justice for once, it had been far more special to hear It's Cliched To Be Cynical At Christmas last time around.

Joy Division Oven Gloves led to a typically frantic moshpit, although sadly the tradition of waving invisible oven gloves in the air in time to the lyrics has been forgotten. Perhaps the big surprise of the night though was hearing Malayan Jelutong for the first time, which is a delightful tune from This Leaden Pall, although I didn't fully appreciate it as it's one of those weird ones I couldn't quite place. I'm also surprised to note that this was the tenth time in a row I'd heard We Built This Village On A Trad. Arr. Tune, which similarly has been ever-present since it was first written, although I also think Nigel may have improvised some of it back in 2001 too. It's one of my favourite prospective HMHB closers, although tonight did suffer from having too many overplayed potential closing tunes in the second half of the set, which is unfortunate as the band should prune some out. The caravan guitar came out for a quick photo op, but was immediately put away as Nigel doesn't like how it sounds, but it is always worth it for a laugh and to throw in a joke about it getting clamped! Vatican Broadside was delivered unusually as a standalone, but it retains its ever-present record in the set and is in no danger at all of growing tired, whereas National Shite Day is one of those potential closing tunes we could do without, although much of the crowd do seem to love it. How about offering Carry On Cremating or Keeping Two Chevrons Apart as a complete change? No such criticism for Everything's A.O.R. though, it's a rock solid classic and is one that should always be played, although the occasions it is left out do help me to appreciate it even more.

The band left the stage before returning for just the one encore, but they'd crammed a huge amount in and just weren't going to waste time exiting and entering the stage more than once. For me Rock And Roll Is Full Of Bad Wools is the ultimate example of a prospective closer that is unwelcome. Although fairly new it was the fourth time I'd heard it in a row, and it just offers little that similar songs don't do much better. Next up was one I thought I didn't know, but in fact was Rubber Bullets by 10cc, and I do have a live version so was at least slightly familiar with the original. An usual choice! The set then drew to a close with The Light At The End Of The Tunnel (Is The Light Of An Oncoming Train), and it's such a fan favourite that it's hard to argue with, although for me it's not indispensable in the way that Joy Division Oven Gloves or For What Is Chatteris... have become. I exited the room, picking up a ticket from the side without an issue. The curfew had been exceeded slightly, and despite so many fans making for the exit bizarrely everyone vanished into the night, leaving just a tiny handful to get the 23:13 tram to Wolverhampton or the other way to Birmingham. I'm quite baffled as to where everyone went! I had a bit of time to kill so popped into Wetherspoons in Wolves, enjoying a pint of Devil's Backbone while lamenting the lack of This Is Lager and contemplating if public floggings should be introduced for those who chose the generic lagers over it, especially when the prices are more or less the same! On the tram and in the pub I also furiously drafted the notes that formed the basis of this review I finally wrote up three weeks later, before heading back on the last train, which although being later than needed is much appreciated as it gives me the chance to hang around late into the night.

My ears were whistling for a while afterwards and I'm must reward a slightly lower mark than usual due to the poorer sound quality and the lack of surprises on the night. However HMHB are always a good evening out, and there was no argument that they'd casually delivered a show much better than The Prodigy had managed the week before, but it's what I expect from them, and watching the guys so often just never grows old as the setlist will always change. Nevertheless, tonight didn't strike an ideal balance as so few middle-era songs were played. None of the holy unperformed trinity of The Referee's Alphabet, Sponsoring The Moshpits or Rod Hull Is Alive - Why? had been played, and I'm also still waiting to hear Breaking News, Lord Hereford's Knob, Keeping Two Chevrons Apart, 4AD3DCD, The Len Ganley Stance and most of Godcore, although D'Ye Ken Ted Moult had been kind of knocked off my list, although I still would love to hear a full performance! I know it's tough for HMHB when they have so many songs they could play, and I am generally just happy to be there, but I do wonder if I'll ever get to hear some of these classics, and would love it if the guys would throw in more surprises, as they seem to enjoy playing rarities almost as much as we appreciate hearing them, and don't come across as the kind of band who'd disown their back catalogue (with the possible exception of God Gave Us Life and Time Flies By (When You're The Driver Of A Train), which I always imagine are rarely played as they've grown tired of them). Despite being my last gig proper of 2015 I got to watch Dynamo live, went all the way to Glasgow to see The Krankies with David Hasselhoff in pantomime and made a last minute trip to Cardiff to watch Gruff Rhys performing in a Candylion quasi-pantomime, which I've decided not to count as a gig as it would be rather hard to review! In 2016 I have plans to see SFA supporting both Noel Gallagher in Birmingham and Manic Street Preachers in Swansea, and am also looking forward to watching Jeff Lynne's ELO and the mighty The Stone Roses too. Fingers crossed I'll also get to travel to Germany and Cuba, although I need to hold down my job and somehow save some money. Let's hope I can also revisit HMHB too, and although I can't imagine not enjoying the show, a few unplayed classics wouldn't go amiss!
Setlist
San Antonio Foam Party
Hedley Verityesque
Old Age Killed My Teenage Bride
Joy In Leeuwarden (We Are Ready)
Stuck Up A Hornbeam
1966 And All That
Outbreak Of Vitus Gerulaitis
My Outstretched Arms
Bob Wilson: Anchorman
Surging Out Of Convalescence
Fix It So She Dreams Of Me
The Bane Of Constance
Fear My Wraith
Running Order Squabble Fest
For What Is Chatteris...
Look Dad No Tunes
When The Evening Sun Goes Down
Them’s The Vagaries
All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit
Joy Division Oven Gloves
Malayan Jelutong
We Built This Village On A Trad. Arr. Tune
Vatican Broadside
National Shite Day
Everything's A.O.R.
Rock And Roll Is Full Of Bad Wools
Rubber Bullets
The Light At The End Of The Tunnel (Is The Light Of An Oncoming Train)
n.b. They also played snippets of D’Ye Ken Ted Moult and Busy Little Market Town, but I'm unsure when

Mark: 8.0/10