GIG NUMBER ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-SEVEN
Who
The action kicked off with support The Humdrum Express taking to the stage. In fact I've seen him play with the band before and actually recognised him wandering around the venue beforehand in his trademark cap. His set was reasonable, albeit in a similar but less compelling style than the main event. However he was quite correct in gently berating us for all huddling at the back, wondering if he had a body odour issue, and when he asked who was looking forwards to the main event the response was practically zilch, prompting him to say "oh dear" and point out that he was looking forward to it anyway and will be down there at the front, and all by himself if required! It certainly was an unusual reception, as on the other side of the scale there was some quite warm applause, including some for the poetry reading interludes, but my conclusion is that the crowd were much more interested in catching up and having a few beers than watching a support slot, which does fit in neatly with HMHB's usual policy of simply omitting the support act altogether. Humdrum's most captivating song was basically just a list of celebrity names, including "Gordon fucking Ramsay", and he also said how much he liked playing here due to the big stage, superior sound quality and how everyone round here seemed to think he was posh! It was a reasonable start to the show and when he finished we made our way forwards and I chatted to a couple of the Dukla Prague away kit guys, finding out that in fact they'd purchased them online and you can't get them in Prague as I'd hoped to do. In fact they got funny looks for wearing the tops in Prague as the team are viewed as a blast from the communist past and aren't doing so well now. As well as learning they'd come all the way up from London just for tonight's show they informed me that HMHB had debuted a few new songs in a radio session and we had a prophetic conversation about the band never playing The Bastard Son Of Dean Friedman whenever we'd seen them before.
Neil made a brief cameo to check the set-up to some applause and the band received a hero's welcome with possibly their most shambolic start yet. Nigel quickly pointed out to the soundman that the sound wasn't working at the back and, once this situation was resolved, he struck the opening chord then realised he'd forgot to plug his guitar in anyway! After this highly amusing incident they launched into an energetic rendition of Them's The Vagaries before Nigel said he had three complaints. After telling us about the hot light shining on him and suggesting it be shined on the other band members instead he forgot what his other two issues were, but confirmed that the sound quality was good which is always the main thing. Hedley Verityesque was a delightful surprise and received another huge cheer before newbie R.S.V.P. - a song about revenge being a dish best served buffet style - broke the momentum slightly. Unfortunately I can't remember it, although Nigel pointed out it was the first gig at which he'd used a capo. A real treat and the greatest moshpit carnage of the evening was thanks to the totally unexpected pleasure of hearing 99% Of Gargoyles Look Like Bob Todd! I was slightly behind the moshpit and was bumped into occasionally by the crazy people in front of me but simply couldn't risk the inconvenience of losing my last pair of glasses. I was still slightly concerned as I'll never forget that the only time I broke my glasses at a gig was at Arctic Monkeys when I was in a quiet part of the pit anyway! Also there were some interesting individuals in front of me, including a guy wearing a full (and seemingly a modern) Dukla Prague away kit who was jumping around completely at his own pace plus another guy in a fleece right at the front who spent the whole show facing away from the stage and bellowing the lyrics at his friends behind him! I could reel off the list of songs and say how amazing they all were but that would get repetitive and the setlist is below anyway. However for the most part there wasn't too much improv tonight.
Nigel forgot the opening lines to Turned Up Clocked On Laid Off and, rather embarrassingly, the crowd failed to help him. I'm proud to say I knew it was "lonely heathland here I come", but didn't want to show off in front of everyone! He also used the classic intro of "let it happen bass player" before one of the new songs, presumably Left Lyrics In The Practice Room, and it was nice that 1966 And All That retained its spot in the set too, plus a brief snippet of the Ballad Of Climie Fisher between songs was another treat for the more knowledgeable fans! Also Nigel introduced one of the songs as being about the badly parked Volkswagen on the Abbey Road cover, before conceding it wasn't about that and he'd simply wanted to get it off his chest! All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit was again an unseasonal delight and I simply couldn't remember what San Antonio Foam Party was called when they played it, which is something I definitely should know by now. L'Enfer C'Est Les Autres could be one of HMHB's greatest ever tracks though. It started off as being a comment on people getting in your way and having no consideration for others when walking down the street, a dilemma I'm more than familiar with. After asking why they couldn't walk single file, Nigel conceded he'd just have to walk in the road. If I was the songwriter I'd add in some references to how it should be compulsory to walk on the left and that you should be allowed by law to punch anyone who ignores that simple rule, and perhaps some lines about why hobos seem most determined to harass the people who are walking the fastest and who clearly have headphones on, as I'd come close to killing some of them recently! The crowning glory of the song though was when Nigel threw a guy who liked Johnny Cash into the lyrics, before singing "I shot a man in Tesco, just to watch him die", which is arguably the funniest lyric of all time! Not only was it hilarious, but also rather timely as I was getting into Johnny Cash at the time and learning about the man in black myself!
A Country Practice was played in full, including the Thatcher ending which had been cut out last time they'd played Bilston. However they had segued that rendition into Time Flies By (When You're The Driver Of A Train) which I think I'd had happily accepted again on balance! A timely Vatican Broadside (coinciding with The Pope's visit) was preceded by a rather unexpected improv called Sandy Gall Is Comin' To Town. You can guess the rest. As Sandy Gall was itself preceded by The Trumpton Riots and this was all followed by The Light At The End Of The Tunnel (Is The Light Of An Oncoming Train) it was a particularly thrilling segment of the show and the moshpit was active throughout! I do love how Twenty Four Hour Garage People just seems to get longer and longer. In fact I was watching the HMHB Manchester 2001 gig on video and can really appreciate how this classic just seems to grow and grow. Pringles were £1.03, and I wonder if they'll ever be £1 exactly? However, knowing garages, the £1.03 was probably for a miniature packet! Nigel introduced the attendant as Graeme, drawing attention to the spelling, who in his dreams (and in Nigel's nightmares) is Axl Rose! Nigel even included a few seconds of the twanging guitar from The Wicker Man and when he ran out of things to say he produced a list to draw out the middle section of the song for even longer, drawing a few heckles of "get on with it!" Then followed a slightly confusing moment as Nigel seemed to be expecting someone onstage. If at that point I could have frozen time and thought of the single most amazing guest who could come onstage, Dean Friedman would obviously be the man. I was therefore absolutely shocked and delighted when Dean fricking Friedman actually came onstage!!! I recognised his face as he quite often plays Bilston himself and appears on posters sometimes. After a friendly greeting from Nigel, giving us all the chance to see if there was any resemblance, the band went off to the side of the stage and Dean launched into Tale Of A Baker's Son, which was his 2009 response to The Bastard Son Of Dean Friedman. Better late then never eh?
He received a warm welcome and after reviewing this moment on YouTube I can appreciate the wittiness of the song in claiming that Nigel is the baker's son, which therefore makes him half a man and half a biscuit! And perhaps I should throw in here that Neil now looks surprisingly like John Locke from Lost? The band took up their instruments again for possibly the single most amazing live moment of their career as they stormed through The Bastard Son Of Dean Friedman with Dean Friedman himself jamming along! I decided to storm through the crowd and go for the moshpit, realising that this was a once in a lifetime opportunity as we all sang and pointed at Dean whilst chanting his name. Sadly this seminal moment hasn't gone onto YouTube as I expect everyone was too busy moshing to film it, but it has been given a prominent mention on Dean Friedman's Wikipedia page and was a lovely end to a 24 year saga, also proving the Dean Friedman has a fantastic sense of humour too! I can't help but wonder though who actually updates Wikipedia. I'm someone who spends a fair amount of time online, and I do spot incorrect information on the site yet I've never felt compelled to correct it. But anyway, this was the end of the main set and the band returned for another newbie Tommy Walsh's Eco-House, which for some reason I'd presumed to be a Dean Friedman cover version. I resolved to stay in the moshpit for Everything's A.O.R. and rather unsportingly refused to mosh to anything else. However, due to my aforementioned concern for my glasses, coupled with dodgy shoelaces and some leg pains, I didn't want to take any chances.
The finale was very strong, featuring We Built This Village On A Trad. Arr. Tune and much hand waving during Joy Division Oven Gloves, which I'd basically forgotten all about. However this was the finale of the show and it was a disappointment not to hear Everything's A.O.R. In fact there were quite a few glaring omissions, including Fuckin' 'Ell It's Fred Titmus, God Gave Us Life, Dickie Davies Eyes, Paintball's Coming Home, Time Flies By (When You're The Driver Of A Train), Restless Legs and, yet again, there was no Referee's Alphabet, Lord Hereford's Knob, 4AD3DCD or Rod Hull Is Alive - Why? And the wait to hear any tracks from Some Call It Godcore continues, as in particular I'd love to hear Sponsoring The Moshpits. These are more observations than complaints, as hearing The Bastard Son Of Dean Friedman had made the evening, plus Hedley Verityesque and 99% Of Gargoyles Look Like Bob Todd had been two more first time inclusions to cross off my list. In fact it's probably more exciting to know each time I see HMHB I'll get to hear a few masterpieces for the first time ever and I understand that it's simply not possible to fit all the classics into the length of a two hour set anyway. I just hope that I get to hear all of them eventually! I had little problem picking up a ticket on the way out and catching the tram back and my ears were whistling for quite a few days afterwards. I drafted the review on my phone the same as usual and heard The Bastard Son Of Dean Friedman on repeat. Perhaps next time they'll take it to the next level and invite Fred Titmus onstage?
Mark: 8.5/10
Half Man Half Biscuit
Support
The Humdrum Express
Where
Bilston The Robin 2
When
15th September 2010
Price
£16.00
Who with
No-one
Position
Towards the front
Comments
I was considering this point at the show and simply couldn't remember, but now I can confirm that this was the ninth time I'd seen HMHB. In particular this was the fourth time I'd seen them play in Bilston and I'd almost completely forgotten that I'd seen them in Shrewsbury back in March! It was quite a treat that they were playing the West Midlands twice within a year and they've certainly developed quite an affinity for Bilston! I heard quite a few of their songs in preparation including CSI: Ambleside in full, which strangely enough is an album I've still yet to really get into. Also I was in a pretty happy mood as I had an exciting trip to Poland less than two weeks away and I'd quite spontaneously booked a trip to Egypt too, which should make it eight countries visited in 2010, five of them brand new to me! I was pretty pleased with myself, especially considering I was doing this and holding down a full time job at the same time. On the day itself I did my usual routine of a chip shop visit then heading home and going out again. I also enjoyed a free tram ride to Bilston, although the ride was disturbingly loud and I didn't much appreciate all the rain! Once I reached The Robin there was a sign informing me to go round the back and as usual they confiscated my ticket but I was pleasantly surprised that the venue was still quiet and everyone was sitting down on tables. I was slightly concerned I'd be arriving too late, but I could perhaps have got away with an hour later in fact. I took a look at the merchandise as usual but simply didn't want any more t-shirts or music, although it did make me wonder why I'd failed to wear one of my Half Man Half Biscuit t-shirts, opting instead for a rather dull Guinness top. The wait wasn't the most enjoyable, as I sat around txting and struggling to drink a Newcastle Brown. After drinking one of my best ever choices of Belgian/German/Czech beers on Saturday courtesy of Sainsbury's in Perton it was like I simply couldn't stomach English beer anymore, and I'm amazed at how my tastes continue to evolve. In fact this particular beer was so disappointing that I was compelled to switch to Smirnoff Ice! As far as my musical tastes are concerned though 2010 was a year of little progression, but considering the complete lack of interesting new bands coming through it's not like there was anything I could latch onto anyway.
Setlist
Them's The Vagaries
Hedley Verityesque
R.S.V.P.
99% Of Gargoyles Look Like Bob Todd
Took Problem Chimp To Ideal Home Show
Turned Up Clocked On Laid Off
Left Lyrics In The Practice Room
Uffington Wassail
1966 And All That
Monmore Hare's Running
Petty Sessions
P.R.S. Yearbook (Quick, The Drawbridge)
All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit
San Antonio Foam Party
Look Dad No Tunes
L'Enfer C'Est Les Autres
Running Order Squabble Fest
A Country Practice
The Trumpton Riots
Sandy Gall Is Comin' To Town/Vatican Broadside
The Light At The End Of The Tunnel (Is The Light Of An Oncoming Train)
National Shite Day
For What Is Chatteris...
Twenty Four Hour Garage People
Tale Of A Baker's Son
The Bastard Son Of Dean Friedman
Tommy Walsh's Eco-House
We Built This Village On A Trad. Arr. Tune
Joy Division Oven Gloves
