GIG NUMBER ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY-EIGHT
Who
I recovered from this experience by heading to another Spoons and having an Erdinger and Budvar whilst reading the paper and savouring one of the few available seats in the place. I then decided to head to the venue before I got any more drunk, deciding I didn't even have time to queue for a McFlurry first! The reason for my hurry was that my gig ticket had, for the first time ever, failed to arrive and I had to pick it up from the box office. It was the last thing I needed but I decided to complain rather than hope it turned up on the last day and ultimately this was the right choice as they cancelled my ticket and arranged for collection on the night. I don't know what I'd have done if it wasn't for the barcode system they use upon entrance to check the tickets as without this they couldn't have cancelled it. I was told that I'd be able to pick my ticket up on the night but was concerned that this may be a lie so wanted to get there earlyish to be safe. In fact I think I may have skipped the body search by joining a different queue and the box office was basically just a guy just inside the regular entrance in a tiny booth with a collection of envelopes. I showed my credit card and got given the ticket with no hassle whatsoever which was very nice. I was less impressed when the original ticket showed up a few days later because when you pay £5 or so for "postage" you expect they'd at least put a first class stamp on it! I may have ordered my ticket quite late but they'd still had nearly two weeks in which to get it to me so there was little excuse. In fact the venue was pretty empty and, as I've stated before, the room looks nice before it's rammed and it's pleasantly quiet with an absence of loud/bad music. The choice of beer is still shocking though but there weren't really any pubs nearby so I figured it was best to just wait inside.
The Bluetones simple backdrop (which you can see in the photo above) was already up and once again the balcony area was closed. I know that the show had been upgraded from a smaller room so presumably they were only selling standing tickets. It wasn't too long before the support bad Pugwash took to the stage. Their lead singer was a plump guy in a cap wearing a Jeff Lynne t-shirt who made the most of ELO's Birmingham connections to a typically muted Brummie response. The locals didn't really have a clue, although admittedly I didn't know The Move song they covered either, but I only really know Brontosaurus from The Move thanks to an incredible cover version from The Supernatural's anyway. The singer announced that this was their last night supporting The Bluetones and that they'd be dashing straight off to Holyhead afterwards to catch a ferry over to Ireland. The nicest surprise was when all The Bluetones dashed onstage for a brief bit of harmonising before rushing off again which seemed to catch the singer completely off-guard. I'm afraid I can't remember their songs much but the guitarist was giving us some infuriating "come and get into our great music" looks which I never appreciate from support acts who should learn their place rather than trying to goad us into liking them! Towards the end of the set the singer name-dropped Neil Hannon by announcing that he'd recorded an album with him and that he wanted to play a song from it. When we applauded Neil's name he told us to stop it as he isn't that good before retracting his statement and saying he was joking, which is probably for the best to avoid being sued! Pugwash were ultimately an acceptable support slot but nothing special, and they certainly didn't live up to the amazing show from Misty's Big Adventure the last time I'd seen The 'Tones.
After an uneventful wait the room had filled up reasonably and The Bluetones made their way onstage to an undeservedly warm reception as they proceeded to play four completely unknown b-sides! I guess I shouldn't be surprised based on past form and for all I know they were recent singles. The evening had clearly been advertised as a "career-spanning greatest hits set" which I guess is a clever way of saying that they'd be playing their greatest hits (from the first three albums) and the less popular stuff too, as The Bluetones' greatest hits are hardly split evenly across their career! I responded to this by deciding that I would not be giving one iota of applause to anything except a hit as if everyone else followed my example the band would probably have got the message sooner and the first three times I'd seen them wouldn't have been such a waste of my time! Mark was wearing a very homely-looking brown shirt and provided some fantastic banter. When introducing one of the unknown songs somebody shouted out "classic!" and he responded by heartily agreeing and thanking him for saying it so he wouldn't have to declare it for himself! Finally on the fifth song we were treated to a stunning rendition of Autophilia which was better than it had any right to be, delivered as a powerful slow-burner. This was followed by another b-side before the great Bluetonic after Mark had told us to watch out for the fantastic guitar solo. This was quickly followed by Cut Some Rug which was utterly faithful to the recorded version, although it seemed longer and slower than I'd had expected. Nevertheless it was very much appreciated so early in the set and Mark remarked that some of the crowd may not have been born when it came out fifteen years ago.
Next up was Sleazy Bed Track but it was overshadowed by the awesome After Hours which I'm surprised to read was released as a single along with the greatest hits album it appeared as a bonus track on. Keep The Home Fires Burning was utterly lovely before an exciting take on Solomon Bites The Worm which was probably the best sing-along that the night had to offer. This amazing run of four songs was then crowned with The Hit - it could only be Marblehead Johnson! I'd seen the video on YouTube beforehand and reminded myself of its brilliance and that those fat suits were scarily convincing. The band introduced it as having reached #7 in the charts and selling 80,000 copies and it was especially wonderful that they played it before we'd even had to scream for it! I don't know if it is their best song but it will forever remain my favourite, probably due to their despicable decision not to play it in the past! The crowd were quite mixed and seemed appreciative but there was no moshing which is a good thing as my pockets were laden down with lots of stuff which I didn't want to lose! I also had a pretty good view which is always a massive positive. After yet another unknown b-side followed one which Mark made clear he considered to be his best song. I heartily disagree but it's always nice to hear Slight Return. The banter became ludicrously self-depreciating as Mark dedicated it to those who'd came here tonight because they only liked this song and said that if they'd simply come to their first gig when they'd played it and tonight and missed out all the stuff in the middle then they'd made the right choice! The man certainly has a way with words that few, if any, singers can match!
The main set then ended with yet another song I didn't know (Never Going Nowhere) before the band returned onstage to a couple more b-sides. Maybe it was a bit mean of me but despite getting my Marblehead Johnson I still didn't applaud anything I didn't like and the band's choice of encore songs just goes to show that they really could do with some tough love from the rest of their fan base too so they don't get away with such self-indulgence. I don't know, maybe the new songs would be good if I knew them, but like most people I stopped listening after the third album and almost never enjoy songs I don't know. Mark spoke of the band's decision to quit which they'd made last year so that they could go out on a high and also so that when people ask him if he used to be in The Bluetones he'd now be able to say yes rather than having to explain that they're still going and "doing alright"! It was probably inevitable that the encore would end with If.... and I again refused to acknowledge the awful, cheesy ending when everyone else sung along. One difference to before was that the crowd didn't move forwards and backwards as if they were in the video but the mood was relaxed despite the wealth of hits to enjoy. I was unsure if they would but The Bluetones came back onstage, now wearing dressing gowns! This was a lovely touch, symbolising that their career is drawing to a close as well as implying that they'd all be going to sleep in a big bed backstage which is an amusing thought! The guitarist had taken off his glasses and he was clearly squinting a bit, which I'd noticed him doing at previous shows.
After much joking about caving into endless demands to play it the band launched into a near a cappella take on Give It Up by KC And The Sunshine Band, declaring that they'd be doing it for one night only, apart from the other nights they'd played it! It was a random and amusing touch and Mark was quick to point out the comedy by pretending to leave the stage and saying "thank you, that's how we'd like you to remember us!" He then gave us a very clear speech that this was their last ever tour before they go back to jobs in call centres and that there would never be a reunion tour. I wonder if they'll be true to their word as bands seem so quick to go back on their word once they realise how lucrative reforming can be. Shed Seven are a particularly frustrating example as I'd taken great pride in seeing them on their "final" tour in 2003 so wasn't impressed when they returned and somehow are now playing larger venues than ever before! There was also some banter about how this was originally scheduled to be the final show before they added a date in London and that some people were annoyed by that, but Mark said that the solution was clearly to just come along for the next show too. This wouldn't work though as I see that they sneaked off to play a final show in Osaka, Japan after London which we could hardly attend on a whim! This may be a good point to mention that the band were joined by a fifth member on keyboards who at around this point was playing on a handheld mouth organ/piano thing.
But anyway, the band ended with a very pretty and low-key rendition of A Parting Gesture from the debut album. It worked out nicely for me as I had a sore throat from singing along too much and from a lack of water anyway. By now I had one eye on the exit as I was worried that they'd play excessive encores and make me miss my train. However this was the end and I had no problems getting home. The timing was slightly frustrating as I didn't have quite enough time to visit McDonalds and a vending machine at New Street station refused to accept my £2 coin meaning I had a parched sensation all the way home. I firmly believe it should be lawful to kick in any vending machine which fails to work properly but decided to settle for swearing at it! On the way back I scribbled down some notes, in particular that the band had failed to play Are You Blue Or Are You Blind? and The Fountainhead. It took me a while longer before I spotted the even more offensive omission of Mudslide! I guess I shouldn't be surprised but The Bluetones seem unable to play a definitive greatest hits set and I expect this is the closest they'd ever get. I was also surprised to find a brilliant cover version of Sail On, Sailor by The Beach Boys online which goes to show their excellent taste in music. I will never be able to forgive them for the disappointment of the first three times I saw them, or indeed complete a review without mentioning it a dozen times, but I nevertheless bid The Bluetones a fond farewell and believe I made the right choice in going back to see them one final time.
Mark: 8.0/10
The Bluetones
Support
Pugwash
Where
Birmingham O2 Academy
When
22nd September 2011
Price
£16.00
Who with
No-one
Position
In the middle
Comments
I was quite surprised to see this advertised as The Bluetones farewell tour but initially wasn't interested. I figured that I'd spent quite enough money on seeing them and had finally got Marblehead Johnson out of the band on the fourth time of asking so didn't want to go back for more. However my attitude softened as the show approached and I decided to go for it. It would have been wrong to punish the band for having played their best song by not seeing them again after rewarding them three times for their self-indulgent wankery by going back in the hope that they'd play it, eventually getting it on the fourth time of asking. Also it was billed as a "career-spanning greatest hits set" so seemed a unique opportunity as the previous show had focused exclusively on the first album, plus there's always a chance I'd get back into The Bluetones again in the future and then would regret not attending. I think it was perhaps time to get those maestros of mediocrity out of my system once and for all! Annoyingly I haven't had the opportunity to write this review up for a full three weeks from my scribbled notes but I hope I haven't forgotten too much. I had tea at the Wetherspoons inside the old library complex which had been randomly closed the last time around when I'd gone to see Brian Wilson. I had tried other places first but everywhere was rammed for some reason. I decided to go for the "simple" steak and chips and the chef then came out to say "unfortunately" they'd ran out of rump steak and apologetically offered to upgrade me to a large mixed grill for free after I said I didn't really like sirloin. He then came back a few minutes later to say "good news" and that he was mistaken and that I'd be able to have the shitty steak after all! It wasn't fun to be tempted with a better meal then to have the opportunity snatched away from me, but I later remembered that in fact I'd ordered sirloin in the first place! To complete the whammy of disappointment I had a disgusting American reddish beer I'd ordered off the tap just because it had a nice label!
Setlist
Unpainted Arizona
Zorrro
Surrendered
Fast Boy
Autophilia
Tiger Lily
Bluetonic
Cut Some Rug
A New Athens
Sleazy Bed Track
After Hours
Keep The Home Fires Burning
Solomon Bites The Worm
Marblehead Johnson
Speed Gearbox
Slight Return
Never Going Nowhere
Slack Jaw
I Was A Teenage Jesus
If....
Give It Up
A Parting Gesture
