My son came home from school
The other day,
With a smirk on his face.
He'd decided he was smart enough
to put me in my place.
HE SAID "I learned in Civics 2,
that's taught by Mr. Might?
All about the laws today:
THE CHILDREN'S BILL OF RIGHTS.
IT SAYS:
I don't have to clean my room,
don't have to cut my hair.
No one can tell me what to think,
how to speak, or what to wear.
I have freedom FROM religion,
and regardless what you say,
I don't have to bow my head,
and I sure DON'T HAVE TO PRAY.
So, I can wear earrings if I want,
and pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read and watch
ANYTHING I like,
be tattooed from head to MY toes.
AND if you ever spank me,
I'll charge you with a crime,
I'll back up all my charges,
with the marks on my behind."
AND THEN HE SAID:
"Don't you ever touch me,
this body's for MY use,
not for your hugs and kisses,
that's more like child abuse."
HE CONTINUED WITH:
Don't preach to me
about your morals,
like your mama did to you.
That's nothing but your mind control,
And it's illegal too!
Mom, I have these children's rights,
so you can't influence me,
or I'll call
Department of Children's Services,
better known as C.S.D.
UH..HUHhhhhhhhh
Well, of course, my natural instinct
was to toss him out the door.
But the chance to teach him a lesson,
made me think a little more.
I mulled it over carefully,
I couldn't let this go.
A little smile crept on my face...
He was messing with a pro!
SO.....
Next day I took him shopping,
at the local Good Will store,
I told him, "pick out all you want!
There are shirts and pants galore."
I've called and checked with C.S.D.,
they said they didn't care,
if I bought you K-Mart shoes,
instead of Nike Airs.
OH! And...
I've canceled that appointment
to take your driver's test.
The C.S.D. is unconcerned,
so I'll decide what's best.
THEN I SAID:
"No time to stop and eat,
or pick up stuff to munch,
and tomorrow you can start to learn
to make your own school SACK lunch.
Just save that raging appetite,
and wait 'til dinner time.
We're having liver and onions.
It's a favorite dish OF MINE!!
THEN He ASKED:..?
Can we stop to rent a movie?
so I can watch the VCR?
Sorry, I said, I sold your TV,
for new tires on MY car.
I ALSO rented OUT your room,
you can take the couch instead.
The C.S.D. only requires
I provide a roof above your head.
Your clothing won't be trendy now,
I'll choose the food we eat,
That allowance that you used to get
will buy me something neat.
I'm selling off your jet ski,
dirt-bike & roller blades.
Check out the
PARENTS' BILL OF RIGHTS,
It's in effect today!
Hey, Hot Shot, are you crying?
Why are you down on your knees?
Are you asking God to help you?
BETTER CALL THE C.S.D."
