On January 2, 2011, Stephanie was off in London getting ready for another semester at University. So Trish was on her own as she walked slowly across the lawn of the cemetery. She went to Amanda’s grave first, putting a small stuffed animal beside the headstone and kissing it quickly before looking over to Steve’s grave. There were a small group of women standing by it, fans from the look of them. Trish moved slowly over behind it and listened as they talked about the Hysteria days of Def Leppard. To Trish, those days seemed to belong to another lifetime. One of the fans looked up and saw Trish standing there, then suddenly recognized her as Sav’s wife. The group got quiet for a moment before breaking into a buzz of low conversation. Finally, the youngest of the group, about twenty five years old, walked up to Trish and said, “Aren’t you Trish Savage? Rick Savage’s wife?”

“Yes, I am,” Trish sighed. This was not a day she wanted to deal with fans, but she looked at them and saw them watching her closely.

“You’re Joe’s cousin, right?”

“Yes.”

“I’m not trying to be rude,” the youngest one said again. “But I’ve got to know this. Is it true?”

“Is what true?” Trish asked in confusion.

The girl took a deep breath and said, “That you and Steve were involved, a long time ago?”

Trish knelt down in front of the cold granite marker and looked at Steve’s picture engraved there. Maybe it was finally time to stop hiding what she and Steve had once been. Once in a while, the rumor would surface among the fans, only to die when no one could prove anything. Reaching into her pocket, Trish pulled out a small framed picture of Stephanie and sat it down in front of the grave marker. She closed her eyes, then turned to the group of women now circled around her.

“That’s our daughter in the picture,” she said softly. “She was born the August after Steve died. He never knew about her...”

“How sad!” the eldest of the group said quietly.

“Do you know about Sav’s oldest daughter?” Trish asked quietly and all five women nodded.

“That was so tragic, how he lost her. By the way, my name is Mary, Trish,” the eldest said quickly, reaching out her hand to take Trish’s. The rest of the women introduced themselves as Alicia, the youngest, Carrie, Pam and Katie.

“You were the mother of Sav’s daughter, too, right?” Carrie asked quietly and Trish nodded.

“Amanda’s buried just over there,” Trish sighed. All five women looked towards the headstone Trish pointed to, then turned back to Trish.

“Sav and I, well, I left him for a while after she died,” Trish continued softly. “I just couldn’t face him anymore...”

“I guess I can understand that,” Pam answered.

“It was New Year’s Eve, 1990 and I was living in London,” Trish went on, suddenly deciding she needed to say this to these women. Maybe in someway, she needed to make her own peace with what happened twenty years before. She was simply tired of denying what her relationship with Steve had been to outsiders. He deserved more than that. “Steve and I met up again at a party of a mutual friend. We’d been involved once, several years before. And, well, we ended up together again. Can I ask you, why are you here today?”

“We wanted to be here on the anniversary of his death, but Mary needs to go home early,” Katie answered. “But we couldn’t go home without at least stopping here. You know what I mean?”

Trish nodded and said, “I’ve got a totally different reason for being here, I’m afraid. Today would have been my twentieth wedding anniversary. With Steve.”

“Omigawd!” Alicia gasped as the others looked at Trish with stunned eyes. “You were actually married to Steve?”

“Yes, I was,” Trish sighed. “But a week later, he was gone. I found out two months after that I’d gotten pregnant with Stephanie.”

“WOW!”

“I guess it’s my turn to be a little rude, girls,” Trish said suddenly. “Can I have a few minutes alone. With him?”

“Sure,” Mary answered as she pulled the others back away from Trish. They headed for Amanda’s grave as Trish turned back to Steve’s headstone.

“Hi luv,” Trish said softly, running her hand over the cold stone. “I wish I could turn back the clock twenty years, my love, just so I could hold you again. But I can’t, so this is all I have, isn’t it? I miss you, Steve. More than anyone will ever know. Rick’s been good to us and I do love him, but I’ll never be able to stop loving you too. You should see him with Stephanie, when she’s home. He’s crazy about that girl, I’ll tell you. Oh, I guess I should mention that he’s not the only one who is. She just shocked the hell out of us this Christmas. She’s engaged, Steve! To Rory! I don’t think anyone quite believes it yet. If they ever have kids, those children aren’t going to have a choice but to be musicians! Joe for a cousin, Sav for a step-grandfather, and the Terror Twins for grandparents! I think Rick feels a little left out, cuz he’s the only one not somehow related to the two of them!” She took a deep breath and said, “Well, looks like I’ve finally let our little secret out of the bag. It’s funny, but it seems like such a relief to talk to someone outside of the family about it.” She could see the women returning, so she whispered, “I’ve got to go now, my love. Happy Anniversary, baby. I love you.” Then she got up and headed away from the grave marker before the women could catch up to her.

She slipped behind the wheel of her car, put a Queen CD in the player and pulled slowly out of the cemetery. Tears formed in her eyes as she heard the opening of “Who Wants To Live Forever”. Maybe that was why Trish didn’t see the truck coming down the road until it was too late. It slammed into the driver’s side door of her car and Trish’s whole world went black.

“Mr. Savage?” the doctor said quietly as he walked into the waiting area. Sav stood up and said quickly, “How is she, doctor?”

“I’m afraid, well, her prognosis isn’t good, sir,” the doctor sighed. “The internal injuries are very severe. The only thing we can do for her is make sure she’s comfortable.”

Joe slid an arm around Sav’s shoulders as his friend started to cry. Phil looked at the doctor and said, “What are you saying, mate?”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Savage,” the doctor answered softly. “It’s only a matter of time before she...I’m very sorry.”

“Sav,” Phil said quietly, kneeling in front of him. “I’ll get Rory to bring Stephanie over, okay?”

Sav nodded mutely, then looked up at the doctor. “Can I see her?”

“Certainly, but I don’t know if she’ll wake up at the moment,” the doctor answered. “She’s on morphine for the pain, so she may not be coherent, even if she does come around.”

Sav and Joe walked slowly into Trish’s room, seeing her for the first time since they’d brought her into the hospital. She was on a respirator and there were bottles and tubes all over the place. Sav collapsed into the chair next to her and took her hand, then started to cry wordlessly as Joe tried his best to comfort him. But how could he expect Sav to be able to deal with losing the woman he spent over half his life with?

“Daddy?” Stephanie whispered as Rory led her into the room.

“Oh baby,” Sav answered softly as he pulled his step-daughter into his arms. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”

“Is it true then?” she asked tearfully. Sav could only nodded as he looked down at his wife with tears of his own. The girl collapsed against her father as Rory rubbed her back, trying to console her to no avail.

Eventually, the entire band and their families made it into Trish’s hospital room. Bobbi brought Trish and Sav’s two boys, who were completely distraught over their mother’s condition. Stephanie and Sav tried their best to calm them down, but in the end Michael had to be sedated and taken home. Teenaged Kenny sat in the corner and stared at his mother’s lifeless body with tears trailing down his face. Rory held Stephanie close to him, not wanting her to feel alone as her mother fought for her life. Only Sav was really alone in the room full of people as he stared down at Trish and prayed to God for a miracle.

The others took turns sitting with Sav as he kept a vigil by Trish’s bed for five days. The doctor still wasn’t hopeful, saying she could still be gone at any time. Holding her hand, Sav pleaded with her to come around, to squeeze his hand, open her eyes. Anything, just so that he could know she was still with him. Stephanie tried to talk him into leaving, just long enough to get one decent night’s sleep, but he refused. He simply sat at her side, holding her hand and whispering to her.

Saturday morning found Sav still watching over his wife. Stephanie stepped out with Rory to get something to eat, so Phil and Anita sat with Sav to keep him company. They talked quietly in the corner when they saw Sav’s head shot up.

“Trish, please, squeeze my hand again!” Sav cried. “Phil, she squeezed my hand!”

“I’m going for the doctor,” Anita said quickly as Phil moved to Sav’s side. They watched as her eyes started to flutter open and searched Sav out. She looked up at him desperately, wanting to say something but unable to because of the respirator.

“Oh, luv, you’re back!” Sav exclaimed in relief. “I knew you could pull through this!”

The doctor walked in as Trish started to claw at the tube going down her throat. In a few minutes, the doctor removed the tube and cautioned her to try to rest.

“Rick,” she whispered hoarsely. “Love you, Rick.”

“I love you, too, Trish,” he answered desperately. “Please, don’t leave me!”

“No choice,” she said quietly through the tears in her eyes. “Stephanie?”

“She’ll be here soon, honey,” he cried. “Just hold on, please!”

Trish nodded slightly and even that slight effort was exhausting. Anita, Joe, Rory and Stephanie came running into the room and Stephanie skidded to a halt beside her mother’s bed. “Mummy,” she cried happily. “You’re going to be okay!”

“No,” Trish rasped. “Not long left. Steph, take care of your father and your brothers. Need you now.” Her head turned towards Sav and she said, “Rick, take care of the children. I love you.” Then her eyes closed as her breathing started to slow. They came open again and she looked up at her husband. Then she looked past him and the others standing beside the bed. A familiar figure stood in the doorway, staring down at her with teary eyes. With her last breath, Trish whispered his name. “Steve.”

“Not yet, please,” she begged. She could see Sav start to sob. Stephanie fell into Rory’s arms, screaming for her mother Anita turned and let Phil pull her in close as they both started to cry. Joe slumped against the wall and stared out the window as Bobbi ran her hand softly over his arm. Steve came closer to the bed, going to the far side of her from Sav.

“I’m sorry, luv,” Steve whispered softly. “It’s already over.”

Trish sat up in the bed and wondered why it was so silent in the room. She could see Sav talking, but couldn’t hear what he was saying. Then she looked down at the bed and saw her lifeless body still laying there. She walked over to Sav’s side and ran her hand over his hair, wanting him to know she was okay. His body was racked with sobs and she saw him shiver at her touch, but he never acknowledged it.

“What now?” she asked Steve quietly.

“You only have to decide where you want to go, and we’ll be there,” Steve answered slowly. “Take my hand, luv, and I’ll be with you.” He reached for her and she grabbed his hand quickly. A moment later, she wrapped her arms around him and closed her eyes. Steve chuckled as he saw the room change. “So, this is where you want to be, is it?” he laughed.

Trish opened her eyes and found herself in her old apartment in Hilversum, Holland. Nodding, she whispered, “I was never happier than I was here.”

“Jesus,” Joe whispered. “She’s gone, isn’t she?” Bobbi nodded slowly and tears started to make their way down Joe’s face as he looked out over the snow covered grass. Then he said softly, “You realize what today is?”

No one answered, so Joe said quietly, “January 8th. Steve’s been gone twenty years to the day.”

Sav closed his eyes and said, “I guess that’s rather fitting, isn’t it?” Looking up at the ceiling, he whispered hoarsely, “Take care of her, you sorry bastard.”

“So what happens now?” Trish said, looking around the apartment.

“Whatever you want, baby,” Steve said quietly as she moved towards the window and looked out. Everything about the complex was exactly as Trish remembered it from over twenty five years before. “What about Sav...and the children?”

“I’ve learned a trick or two while I waited for you,” Steve said with a smile. He took her by the hand and suddenly she found them next to a pond of clear water in a park they’d once been to. “Look into the water and think about them, luv. You’ll see them and their future, if you try hard enough.” He wrapped his arms around her from behind and breathed into her ear, “Concentrate.”

Looking over the water, Trish thought of Sav and his teary-eyed image came into focus. He was at her funeral and for the first time, he looked like an old man. She wanted to cry at the pain in his eyes. “Steve, I don’t want to see this!”

“Then think about the future,” Steve whispered. “Concentrate on his future and you’ll see it soon enough.” Trish closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them again, Sav looked older and happier. She saw a younger woman of about thirty at his side, holding a child and smiling up at him from a hospital bed. And when Trish looked closely at the child, she recognized the eyes immediately, though she didn’t know how.

“Amanda!” she gasped.

“She’s going to go back again,” Steve said softly. “But she wanted to see you first, luv.” The child appeared at her side and threw her arms around Trish’s legs.

“Mummy?” she asked quietly. “Please, be happy. I’ll go back and take care of Daddy for you, I promise.”

Pulling the child into her arms, Trish whispered, “Thank you, my little love. I’ve missed you, you know that?”

“I do, Mummy,” Amanda said solemnly. “But you’ll be safe and happy here with Uncle Steve, so I’m going to make sure Daddy is okay too. All right?”

“Perfectly, my angel.” Then the child was gone again.

“What about the kids?” she asked quietly. Turning back to the water, she commanded, “Let me see my children!” The image on the water changed and she was seeing a wedding. Stephanie’s wedding. Kenny and David were there, fully grown men instead of the teenagers she’d left behind. Trish turned into Steve’s arms with a smile and said, “I’ve seen enough, for now.”

“Then what do you want now, luv?” Steve asked quietly.

“Maybe you can finally teach me to play the guitar,” she laughed as she led him away from the pond and into the woods.