The cab took Trish to the airport, where she caught a long, tear filled flight to Holland. At first, she’d planned on staying there for a long time, just to get her bearings back again. But on New Year’s Eve, she made the decision to give up the apartment there and go back to her parents’ old house in Sheffield. She spent the next two days packing things up, shipping all of it back home and catching a plane back to Sheffield on January second.

When she reached her parents’ home, she threw herself down on the couch and tried to decide what she was going to do with her life. She couldn’t go back to Steve, not after the things he’d said about her. But how could she get together with Sav without facing Steve again? Maybe it was time to make a break with both of them and move on with her future.

She’d already finished three and a half years of University, so she finally decided to finish her studies and let go of the two men she loved more than her own life. There was just no way back to either of them without someone getting hurt. January fifth, she headed to the school to enroll again. That’s when she caught sight of a newspaper that had an article about one of the members of Def Leppard.

Reading through the newspaper, Trish found out the horrifying news. On New Year’s Eve, Rick Allen had been in a car accident that had taken his left arm off at the shoulder. They’d tried to reattach the arm, but according to the article, infection had set in and they’d removed the arm again in order to save his life. She sat down in the student lounge of the school and cried as she worried about her friend and the band’s future.

Steve and Phil made their way into the hospital room, full of worries for their friend, Rick. Neither of them was really ready for the sight of him all wrapped up in bandages. The only thought that ran through Phil’s mind was, “My God, he looks like a mummy!”

For Steve, there was added tension as soon as the rest of the band showed up. As soon as he saw Sav, he wondered where Trish was, but couldn’t ask. He needed to talk to her, to try to set things between them right again. But this wasn’t the time or place to be asking where she was, so Steve let it go while they sat around and talked to Rick. Rick was only just starting to come back around after the accident, so they all tried to support him as best they could while he was recovering. Rick shocked them all by saying he thought he could relearn to play the drums using his left foot in place of his arm. Phil and Steve exchanged a look that said how bizarre that sounded, but neither of them gave voice to those thoughts.

When visiting hours were over, Sav cornered Phil and asked, “Where’s Trish?”

“Um, I don’t know, mate,” Phil said uncertainly. “Isn’t she here with you?”

“No,” Sav said in surprise. “I thought she was still in France with Steve.”

“Sav, they got into a fight a couple of days after she got there and she left,” Phil answered. “We thought she’d come back to Sheffield to see you when she left.”

“FUCK!” Sav exclaimed loudly, bringing a stare from one of the nurses. He started to turned away from Phil and head for the phone, then looked back and said, “What did they fight about, anyway?”

“You, mate,” Phil said quietly, making sure Steve didn’t hear him. “He wanted her to leave you and she said she couldn’t. So I guess he said some things he’s regretting now and she took off. And this is the first day he’s been even half sober since she walked out the door, so take it easy on him, okay?”

“Sure,” Sav said sadly. Part of him was worried about where Trish was, but the other part was elated she’d refused to give up on him. Now if he could only find her and make her see that he was still there for her no matter what had happened with Steve.

Steve grabbed Joe by the arm a little further down the hall and asked quietly, “Where’s Trish at, mate? I need to talk to her.”

“I thought she was with you, Steve,” Joe said in confusion. “I haven’t seen her since you picked her up Christmas Day.”

“Shit,” Steve hissed. “She left me the twenty-eighth and I thought she came home, back to your parents’ place.”

“No, nobody’s seen her,” Joe answered, wondering suddenly where Sav was at. “Why’d she leave so soon? I thought she was staying with you til New Year’s?”

“Um, we had a fight and I said some things I shouldn’t have,” Steve admitted. “I really need to talk to her. If you see her, will you tell her to call me?”

“I’ll try, but you know Trish,” Joe said quickly. “She’s not likely to do it. She’s got a good old fashion stubborn streak, if you know what I mean. Family trait and all that.”

“Well, at least...” Steve paused, then said, “at least tell her I love her, and I’m sorry? Please?”

“Yeah, mate, I will,” Joe answered quietly, seeing how badly this was affecting Steve finally. Joe patted him on the shoulder and said, “I’ll do what I can, okay?”

“Thanks,” Steve said softly as he turned and headed out of the hospital. Phil came up beside Joe and said, “I take it he found out Trish isn’t here?”

“Yeah, and Sav found out she wasn’t still with him, right?” Joe remarked quietly.

“Yep,” Phil answered. “Damn, Steve’s got it bad for her, I’ll tell you that much. Peter asked us to take out these two models while we were in Paris and Steve’s gone out with this one named Lorelei twice in the past few days, but he still constantly talks to me about Trish.”

“I couldn’t even mention Steve OR Trish to Sav while he thought they were together, so I guess he’s just as bad off,” Joe chuckled. “Leave it to her to tie not one, but two of our band mates into knots!”

“I think Steve may be coming UN-tied over her, Joe,” Phil said worriedly. “The day she left, he drank til he passed out and hasn’t hardly had a sober moment since. Except he did try to keep it under control when he was with Lorelei.”

“Shit,” Joe muttered. “Guess we’ll just have to wait and see if they get it worked out. Maybe Trish will come back on her own.”

“Well, let’s go find Steve and see if we can keep him from drinking himself under the table tonight,” Phil sighed.

Sav called Joe’s mother’s house and talked to Cindy for a few minutes, only to find out that Trish hadn’t contacted her yet. So he called her parents’ house in Sheffield, getting no answer because Trish was actually at the school. He placed a long distance call to her number in Holland and got the message that the number had been disconnected, so he got a hold of the apartment manager and found out she’s given up the flat. In a last ditch effort, he jumped in the car and headed over to her parents’ house in the hopes of finding her there.

He pulled into the driveway and saw her car parked outside the house. He walked up to the door and knocked softly, hoping she’d answer. As the door opened, Trish stepped back in surprise.

“What are you doing here?” she squeaked.

“I’m sorry, but shouldn’t I be asking you that?” Sav chuckled. “I thought you were still in Paris until Steve showed up at the hospital without you.”

“Yeah, well, that didn’t exactly work out,” she said as she turned away from him and went into the house. He followed her and grabbed her by the arm, asking, “Baby, what happened with you two?”

“He called me a whore, Sav, okay?” she said, fighting back the tears she’d swallowed since she’d left him. “Said I was acting like a slut.”

“Phil said he wanted you to leave me?” Sav asked softly.

“That’s how the fight started,” she said, starting to cry quietly. “When I said I wouldn’t, that’s when he got mad and said those things to me! How could he, Sav?”

“You know he was just hurt, baby,” Sav whispered as he sat down next to her and wrapped her in his arms. “You know he didn’t mean it.”

“No, Sav, I think he did,” she cried. “I couldn’t stay there and listen to it anymore, so I went home.”

“You didn’t come straight home, did you, luv,” he stated quietly. “I know you gave up the flat you had in Hilversum.”

“I went back there to try and figure things out,” she said softly. “To see where I stood in the middle of all this mess.”

“And what did you find out?” he asked quietly.

“That I had to leave both of you or someone was going to get hurt,” she whispered.

“Wait a minute, luv,” he answered quickly. “Steve and I weren’t a package deal, you know? Just because you decided you couldn’t stay with him, doesn’t mean you have to give up on me as well!”

“But how the hell am I supposed to stay with you and not see him all the time?” she asked quietly. “Answer me that!”

“I don’t know,” Sav answered honestly. “But we’ll figure something out, okay?”

“No, Rick, we won’t,” she sighed. “I just can’t do this. I can’t face him again.”

“I’m not giving up on us, Trish,” he said quickly. “If I have to fly back to Sheffield constantly in order to see you, I will.”

“I won’t be in Sheffield,” she answered. “I’m going back to University in London.”

“Great, cuz London’s even closer to Holland than Sheffield,” he said with a broad grin. “When did this happen, anyway?”

“Actually, I just got back from registering when you showed up,” she said quietly. “I’m gonna finish my degree and see what happens after that.”

“So, what kind of job does an art history major find, anyway?” he asked curiously.

“Oh, I may try to get in with one of the museums locally, for now,” she sighed. “But first I’ve got to finish the degree!”

“How long do you have left?”

“This is my last semester, unless I decide to go for a Master’s degree,” she answered.

“Listen,” Sav said as he took both her hands in his. “Finish this semester, get your degree. When it’s over, then come with me again. By then, things between you and Steve should be calmed down enough that you can be around him again. Until then, I’ll just come visit you in London. Deal?”

“All right,” she said, letting out the breath she’d held since he’d started talking. She laid her head down on his shoulder for a minute, only to look up again as she remembered something. “God, Sav, how’s Rick doing?”

“Better than any of the rest of us,” Sav laughed. “The guy’s amazing! He’s talking about learning how to use his left foot to take the place of his left arm and drumming that way!”

“Do you think he can do it?” she asked in surprise.

“If anyone can, it’s Rick,” Sav chuckled. “He’s so determined now. It’s funny, cuz Miriam’s a mess, his mother is frantic and RICK is the one calming them down. The rest of the guys just don’t know what to bloody well think. I mean, I couldn’t be as calm as him in his place.”

“Well, it’s not like you can learn to play the bass with your feet, luv,” she laughed, though there was a tiny bit of seriousness in her tone. “It kinda requires two hands to do your job.”

“I know,” Sav sighed. “But even if it didn’t, I’d still be so freaked out by what’s happened.”

“Well, I’m glad he’s doing okay,” Trish said finally. “Did Steve show up at the hospital?”

“Yeah,” Sav whispered, looking down at the floor. “Trish, Phil says he’s really broken up over this. He’s been drinking really heavy this last week. Phil said the only time he’s been sober was when Peter asked them to take out this pair of models.”

Trish’s head snapped around as she heard those last words and she said, “He’s taking out someone else now?”

“Yeah, I guess Peter asked him and Phil to take a couple of his friends out while they were in Paris,” Sav answered, wondering what Trish was thinking now.

“Well, I guess it’s only right that if he’s moved on, maybe I should too,” she said sadly.

“Trish, you can’t hold a couple of dates against him when you’ve been seeing me this whole time,” Sav said, pulling back from her.

“He wanted me to tell you it was over, but he’s seeing someone else now, Sav,” she said, tears brimming in her green eyes. “It really is over between me and him.” She got up and walked across the room, then turned back to him and said, “Sav, I’m sorry, but I really need to be alone right now, please?”

“Trish?” he said uncertainly. “Are you sure? I’m leaving in the morning to go back to Holland with the guys, so I won’t be able to come back after tonight.”

“I’m sorry, Rick, but I need to be by myself right now,” she said tearfully. “Call me when you get to Holland and we’ll be able to talk about it then. I just can’t right now.”

“Okay, Trish,” he sighed. Crossing the room to her, he pulled her into his arms briefly and said, “Just remember, I’m still there for you. Okay?”

“I will,” she said softly as she kissed him. “I love you, Rick.”

“I love you too, baby,” he said quietly. Then he was gone. Trish sat down on the floor and cried from the pain of losing Steve, knowing there was no way back to him ever again. Eventually she sobbed herself to sleep where she lay.

Steve paced around the studio, trying to stay out of the beer since Lorelei was sitting there watching him work. But it was rough. Nearly a month had passed since Trish had left him and he just couldn’t get her off his mind. Sav was gone again, visiting a friend in London, which was the only thing that gave Steve any peace of mind. At least Sav wasn’t with Trish either. In fact, he didn’t even seem bothered by her absence at all. Steve couldn’t understand that. How could Sav NOT miss her? Steve certainly did, like a constant pain around his heart. He did his best to hide it and only Phil really knew how he felt.

Joe’s new girlfriend Karla was there also and she walked up behind Joe, whispering, “How’s Trish doing, anyway?”

“Well, Sav says she’s okay,” Joe answered softly. He didn’t see Steve walk up behind him as he said, “She’s still angry with Steve, but she’s getting along with Sav pretty well now. He said she seems kinda happy now that things are settling down.” Joe didn’t see the look on Karla’s face trying to get him to be quiet when he continued, “Trish just wasn’t cut out to be with two guys at once, so maybe leaving Steve was good for her, even if it wasn’t for him.” Then Joe turned to grab his drink and saw Steve standing two foot behind him. “Oh shit!”

“Sav’s still with Trish?” Steve asked softly.

“Um, yeah, he is,” Joe answered uncertainly. “I’m sorry, Steve, I didn’t mean that the way it sounded.”

“Yes you did, Joe,” Steve said quietly. “I don’t believe this. I thought Sav was in London!”

“That’s where Trish has been,” Joe replied. “She went back to University, to finish her degree.”

“Oh,” was all Steve could say. He turned and walked up to Lorelei, taking her by the hand and leaving the studio without another word. He passed Phil on the way out and didn’t speak to him either, so Phil knew something was very wrong. Going up to Joe, he asked, “What just happened here?”

“He found out Sav and Trish are still together,” Joe answered. “I’m not sure how he’s taking it.”

“Well, the next few weeks are gonna be fun, aren’t they?” Phil whispered.

Steve and Lorelei flew out to Paris two days later and no one heard from him for three weeks. When he returned, he acted as if nothing had happened, that none of it mattered. The only indication that any of it mattered to him was when he walked up to Sav and asked quietly, “How’s Trish doing?”

“She’s okay,” Sav answered softly. “I think she misses you, though.”

“Well, I hope the two of you are happy, Sav,” Steve answered sincerely. “That’s all I ever wanted for her, you know?”

“Yeah, Steve, the same for me,” Sav said quickly, baffled by Steve’s sudden acceptance of the situation.

“She doesn’t need to stay away from here, if that’s what she’s thinking,” Steve said softly. “I’m not going to get in between the two of you again.”

“Thanks, Steve.”

Rick returned to the studio the following week and everyone’s mind went back to the task they had at hand. Sav still treaded gingerly around Steve, but Steve didn’t even seem to notice him. Lorelei came to visit him often, so he stayed with her his every off moment when she was around. But if she wasn’t there, he would start drinking by noon and not stop to late in the night. Whenever Phil or anyone else asked him what was going on, he simply shrugged and took another drink.

Dreading what he felt was going to be a horrible meeting between Steve and Trish, Sav invited her to come for a visit during her spring break from classes. He didn’t expect her to actually agree to it, so he was shocked when she said ‘yes’. She flew in on April 20th, planning on simply staying at Sav’s apartment for the week and avoiding Steve at all cost. Unfortunately for her, she’d forgotten Steve’s birthday was April 23rd and the band had a party planned for him she just couldn’t get out of.

“Luv, I can just call and tell them we won’t be there if you don’t want to do this,” Sav said quietly.

“No, Rick, I HAVE to face him someday,” she whispered. “Might as well get it over with. Let’s go.” This last was said as she slipped her hand into his and pulled him towards the door.

When they reached the pub, Trish went stiff as soon as she saw Steve. Steve took a long swallow of Scotch before saying, “Lorelei? This is Sav’s girlfriend, Trish.”

“Oh?” Lorelei said in surprise. “I didn’t know you had a girl stashed away, Sav? Where’s he been hiding you, Trish?”

“I’m finishing school in London,” Trish answered anxiously, realizing that Steve had never mentioned her to Lorelei. The woman in front of her had no idea of Trish’s relationship with her boyfriend. Karla watched Trish worriedly, wondering how she was going to deal with this situation. But Trish just slid into a seat between Joe and Sav and sat quietly, waiting to see what happened next.

“Trish is Joe’s cousin,” Karla said nervously.

“Now that you mention it, I can definitely see the resemblance,” Lorelei said with a smile. “Joe, I have to say as stunning as your eyes are, they look even better on her!”

“Thank you,” Trish whispered softly. Sav squeezed her hand under the table just as Karla said, “I’ve got to make a visit to the loo. Trish, come with me?”

“Sure,” she answered, glad to get away from Steve for a moment. Karla pulled her away from the table and as soon as they were out of earshot, asked quietly, “Are you okay, Trish?”

“Yeah, don’t worry,” Trish said quickly. “She seems pretty nice.”

“Lorelei’s a real treasure,” Karla said uncertainly. “She’s doing her damn best to keep a leash on Steve, that’s for sure.”

“I wish she wasn’t so fucking nice,” Trish sighed. “I guess part of me wishes I could hate her for being with Steve now.”

“You know that’s not fair, don’t you, Trish?” Karla asked with soft eyes. “You still have Sav, why shouldn’t Steve be happy too?”

“Believe me, I know,” Trish answered quietly. “I’m glad she’s so good for him.”

“Hi girls, mind if I come along?” Lorelei said with a huge smile directed at Trish.

“Sure, the more the merrier,” Trish said, hiding a grimace that only Karla saw. “So, how long have you and Steve been together, anyway?”

“Oh, just since January, so four months,” Lorelei answered carelessly. “But he is really one of the sweetest men I’ve ever met! Nothing like the other rock stars Peter’s tried to push on me!”

“Yeah, Steve is a sweetheart,” Trish sighed softly.

“Oh? How long have you known him, Trish?” Lorelei asked curiously.

“Um, Joe introduced us when I was fifteen and he was eighteen,” Trish answered evasively.

“Oh, wow!” Lorelei chuckled. “Bet you’ve got all the good stories then, huh?”

“Not really,” Trish said quickly, suddenly very uncomfortable with where this conversation was going. “Joe really didn’t let me hang around with the band much back then, you know?”

“I see,” Lorelei laughed.

“Joe’s always treated me more like a little sister than a cousin, so I guess he was afraid of me getting involved with any of them,” Trish replied.

“Guess I can understand that!” Lorelei giggled. “Yet here you are now, in a relationship with his best friend!”

“Well, I never was one for listening to his advice,” Trish answered, finally smiling back at the friendly woman beside her. The women finished their business in the bathroom quickly and made their way back to the table, where Sav and Steve both looked at them anxiously. When they saw the smiles on all their faces, they relaxed a bit, though Steve was still tense. He needed to at least talk to Trish, alone, before she went back to London for the remainder of the semester. But this wasn’t the time as the waitress brought over his birthday cake.

He looked around at his friends as they sang Happy Birthday to him, until his eyes came to rest on Trish. Their eyes locked until Trish looked away tearfully. Then Lorelei kissed him quickly and said, “Happy twenty fifth birthday, Steve!”

A chorus of Happy Birthday’s went round the group, except for Trish who couldn’t even look his way. She leaned back against Sav and took a long hard drink of whiskey before finally saying, “Happy birthday, luv.”

“Thanks, Trish,” Steve said slowly, raising his own glass for a drink. The rest of the evening passed slowly for Trish and Steve both, neither of them sure what to do around the other. So they both drank while the people around them laughed and had a good time.

“Wanna dance, Joe?” Karla asked with a giggle.

“Sure, babe, let’s hit the floor!” Joe smiled, taking her hand and leading her out to the floor. Rick and Miriam were next out there, then Phil and Therese. That left Trish, Sav, Steve and Lorelei sitting at the table. Lorelei leaned over and whispered that she’d like to dance as well, so Steve walked slowly out with her and let her wrap her arms around his neck.

“You okay, luv?” Sav asked quietly once they were alone.

“Yeah, fine,” she replied flippantly. She watched Steve and Lorelei jealously, wishing she could at least get Sav to dance with her. But she knew that was a futile hope. Then she heard a hiss as Therese and Phil started to argue. She stormed off before Trish and Sav could figure out the problem, leaving Phil standing stunned on the floor. He made his way back to the table and slumped down into his seat, taking a long swallow of his beer.

“What’s wrong, Phil?” Sav asked quickly.

“She asked if I thought the girl at the bar was attractive and it turns out that ‘yes’ was a very wrong answer,” Phil said, shaking his head. “I mean, look at her! She’s bloody gorgeous and I’m sure Therese knows it! Why ask me that?”

“Well, maybe she felt like you were ignoring her and staring at that brunette?” Trish answered quietly.

“Oh well,” Phil sighed. Then he looked at Sav and said, “Since you won’t dance, mind if I borrow Trish for a few minutes? Therese isn’t gonna ruin my night, I can tell you that!”

“Yeah, go ahead, mate,” Sav laughed, watching Phil bounce back from the problem with Therese. Apparently, she hadn’t gotten too far under his skin if he was acting this way. Phil grabbed Trish’s hand and pulled her out onto the floor with a chuckle.

“Okay, this is awkward,” Phil laughed as he looked up at Trish. “I forgot you were taller than me!”

“Yeah, well, let’s just dance and forget it, okay?” Trish smiled. After a few minutes, they bumped into Joe and Karla. Joe just laughed as he saw Trish standing over Phil. “Wanna trade, mate? Karla’s about your size...”

“Sod off, Elliott!” Phil said with a mock swing in Joe direction. But they did switch partners after Joe said he wanted to dance with his cousin. A few minutes later, Trish ended up spinning around the floor in Rick’s arm after another swap. Then they ran into Steve and Lorelei and Rick, who’d had too much to drink to remember any of their problems, said, “Well, let’s keep this going! Lorelei, care to dance?”

“Sure,” she said with a smile, leaving Trish and Steve staring at each other. She stepped slowly into his arms so as not to cause a scene on the dance floor, but she glanced back at Sav briefly before she did. She could see the tension on his face as she turned back to Steve.

“Hi,” she whispered softly.

“Trish...” he said quietly. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t say anything, Steve,” she answered hoarsely. “Just dance and let’s not make a big deal out of this.”

“I need to talk to you, Trish!” he pleaded in a whisper. “Just talk, I promise.”

“I think you said it all back in December,” she said stiffly.

“No, I didn’t,” he answered. “I’m sorry for everything that happened, Trish.”

“Steve, I don’t want to talk about this now, okay?” she said, a hint of anger coming into her voice.

“Can we talk tomorrow then?” he begged. “Just you and me, without all the crowd?”

“Fine, Steve,” she said shortly. “But for right now, I’m leaving. I’m sorry, this was just a very bad idea.”

“Please, don’t go, Trish,” he asked quietly.

“I’ve got to, Steve,” she replied, her voice softening a bit. “We’ll talk tomorrow, when Sav and Lorelei aren’t around, okay?” She pulled regretfully out of his arms and headed back to the table to tell Sav she was ready to leave. Steve headed for the bathroom and let his tears come again. By the time he came back out, Trish and Sav were gone, so Steve headed back to the table and grabbed the bottle of Scotch, pouring himself another glass and downing it quickly before Lorelei came back to him. For the rest of the night, he did he best to hide from everyone the pain that that lay prickling around his heart as he thought of Trish and Sav together again.

Trish sat quietly in the car until Sav asked, “What happened back there?”

“He wants to talk to me, in private,” she sighed. “Tomorrow.”

“Are you going to?” he asked nervously.

“Yeah, I have to, Rick,” she answered. “If I don’t, none of us will ever be able to get past this.”

“You’re probably right,” he said, letting out a long slow breath. “But I can’t say I’m looking forward to it.”

“Neither am I, Rick,” she whispered. “Neither am I.”

The next afternoon, Steve left Lorelei at his flat with a made up excuse about needing to go take care of something for the band. He knocked softly on the door of Sav and Joe’s apartment and Trish answered the door slowly.

“Hi, Trish,” he said quietly.

“Did you want to come in?” she asked.

“No, I think we’d best do this somewhere that Sav and Lorelei aren’t likely to interrupt us,” he answered.

“Let me go tell Rick and I’ll be right down then,” she replied, walking back into the apartment. Steve headed for the car and Trish came down a moment later. She slid into the passenger seat silently and let Steve drive the car without saying a word. Staring out the window, she watched him pull into a nearby park and stop the car. Getting out, he opened her door and said, “Come on, let’s go for a walk.”

“Sure.”

They made their way slowly into the woods, where Trish stopped and said, “Steve, what did you want to talk about?”

“I just wanted the chance to apologize, luv,” he whispered. “I didn’t mean anything I said that night. Well, I did mean that I loved you, but the names I called you? I didn’t mean any of that.”

“You certainly sounded like you meant it,” Trish said crossly, refusing to look at him.

He pulled her around and said roughly, “I was hurting. I didn’t understand how you could say you loved us both. So I tried to sting you back.”

“Well, you did,” she whispered hoarsely. “I was furious with you, I’ll have you know.”

He brushed the hair back from her forehead as he whispered, “I know, I was pissed at myself for saying it before you even got out the door. But I couldn’t take any of it back. And then I couldn’t find you either.”

“You didn’t waste any time finding Lorelei,” she said, tears coming into her voice as she tried to fight them.

“I’m sorry, luv,” he answered. “Peter asked me to take her out and things kinda clicked, especially for her. But, Trish, baby, I’ve never been able to get over what I feel for you either.”

“Well, at least I know I’m not the only one with that problem,” she cried, the tears breaking through finally.

“Then come back to me, Trish, PLEASE!” he begged.

She turned away from him as she whispered, “I can’t. It’s too late now, Steve.”

“I’ll deal with Sav and you, I promise!” he pleaded. He grabbed her by the arm and spun her around, his mouth finding hers hungrily. He kissed her desperately, begging her to come back to him. But Trish pulled away regretfully and said, “Steve, too much has changed now. It’s been just me and Sav for four months. I don’t think he’d be willing to go that far backwards. Plus, you’ve got Lorelei now. It just wouldn’t work.”

“I still love you, Trish,” he whispered. “More than my own life!”

“I love you too, Steve,” she said tearfully. “And I’m sorry for everything that’s happened. But we can’t go back in time and fix it all.” She moved into his arms and said, “Stephen, I love you. But this is the way things have to be now.” His head rested on her shoulder as tears poured from his eyes. Lifting his eyes to hers, she whispered, “I’ll always be your friend, Steve. I’ll always love you. We just can’t be together anymore. Can you understand that?”

Pulling away from her, Steve nodded and said, “Think we can still at least be friends, really?”

“I’m sure, Steve,” she whispered. “I couldn’t stand the thought of losing you completely from my life.” She took his hand and asked, “You ready to head back now?”

“Almost,” he answered softly. “But Trish...”

“What, luv?” she whispered.

“Can I hold you one more time before we go?” he asked softly. Without a word, she moved into his body and wrapped her arms around his narrow waist, laying her head down on his shoulder. He held her close to him for a long time before kissing her gently and saying, “We’d better get back before Sav gets worried and Lor starts wondering where I am.”

“Yeah,” she answered softly, letting him lead her back to the car.

Trish walked slowly into Sav’s apartment, wondering just what she was going to face when she got there. Sitting nervously on the couch, Sav jumped up as soon as he saw her, studying her face for clues. He could still see the tracks of her tears running down her cheeks and he could only think that maybe she’d finally come to say goodbye. The look on his face said it all as Trish said, “Hi, luv. What’s wrong?”

“How’d things go with you and Steve?”

“Oh, we talked, forgave each other, that kind of thing,” she said evasively.

“So...what’s going on then?” he asked nervously.

“Nothing’s changing, luv,” she chuckled. “Don’t worry your pretty little head about that! Steve and I will always be friends, that’s the up shot of it all. But he’s got Lorelei,” she whispered as she snuggled into his arms, “And I’ve got you...or at least I hope I do...”

“You do,” he answered softly as he lower his mouth to hers. His lips teased hers gently as he held her body close to his.

“Sav, you know I love you, don’t you?” Trish asked as he held her tightly to him. He nodded and whispered, “I know that, now more than ever, luv. I love you, too.”

He kissed her gently, then picked her up and carried her into their bedroom, kicking the door shut behind them. Trish stared into his loving eyes until she felt him give a heave and toss her through the air. Letting out a gasp, she felt herself flying briefly before she landed on the bed with a soft thud. Before she could move or even yell at him, Sav pinned her body down to the bed with his own. His mouth found hers in a hungry kiss that hid all his worry about her relationship with Steve. All she felt was his lips and the heat of his body against hers, blinding her to his inner turmoil.

“God, woman, do you know how much I need you?” Sav whispered into her ear.

“Please, show me!” she begged in a ragged hiss of breath. Sav’s hand roamed under her shirt, tugging roughly at her bra to unfasten it. A moment later, he pulled the shirt and bra off her with sure strong hands. His mouth captured the bud of her nipple and he suckled at it like a hungry child as his hands chased down her body to her jeans. Her back arched into his chest, raising her breasts to his mouth as she silently pleaded with him for more. Before she realized he’d even touching her jeans, they were being lowered over her buttocks and down her long, lean legs. Her panties followed the same trail quickly as he bared her body to his eager touch.

Wrapping her fingers into the mane of his dark curls, she ground her hips up into his and tried to find some relief for her over stimulated body. Knowing she wanted more, Sav let his fingers move slowly between her thighs and find the hidden hardness of her clit. He rubbed ever so slowly over the tip of it as his tongue traced around her nipple. Trish could only whimper as she felt his fleeting touch. Seconds later, his fingers closed on her hard button, running up and down the short length of it. The groan it pulled from deep in her throat grabbed something inside Sav, making him move slowly down her torso with his lips. She moaned loudly as his lips closed over her swollen clit, then his tongue explored the inner depths of her. It didn’t take much of his practiced attentions before Trish could feel the tension building in her legs as her orgasm rushed through them. The sensation built until Trish could take no more, then it released with a wave of excruciating pleasure that took her breath away. Collapsing back down into the bed, her breath came in rapid pants as she waited for her heart to stop pounding in her chest.

She had a bare moment to recover before she felt his body slowly climbing back up hers. Sav’s skin was hot against hers as his thighs gently moved between hers. The flesh of his chest, slick with his sweat, slid over her taut nipples as he sank into her with one thrust. His hand moved gently down the contour of her side, caressing each inch before moving on. Wrapping her legs around his hips, she pulled him deeper into her core. Their lips met in a kiss born of passion, their bodies moved together in the oldest dance in human memory. Sweat mingled between them as the heat increased to an unbearable level. His long hair trailed over her throat as he leaned down and whispered, “Trish, I’m gonna cum, luv!”

“Baby, please, do it for me!” Trish begged in a hoarse whisper. “I want to feel it inside me!”

“Oh...GOD!” Sav huffed in a harsh puff of breath. He collapsed down onto her as his arms gave out, the climax seeming to take the last of his strength from him. They curled up together, exhausted from their passion. Just as they were both about to drift off, Sav asked her sleepily, “Trish, have you given any more thought to what you’re going to do after you graduate?”

“Actually, I’ve been offered a job at Dublin Castle that I’m tempted to take,” she replied quietly. “It’d be as assistant to the curator, which I think would be fascinating.”

“Dublin, Ireland?” Sav asked, fully awake now.

“Yeah,” she sighed. “Is that a problem?”

Sav let out a long slow breath and said, “Well, I was hoping you’d come stay with me for a while...”

“Luv, this is a once in a lifetime chance for me,” she said, trying to make him understand. He nodded slowly and said, “Will you still come see me here sometimes?”

“Oh, God, of course I will!” she laughed. “Rick, my love, if I could guarantee you’d be in Holland forever, I’d try for a job here. But once this album is done, who knows where you’ll go next?”

“That’s true,” he said quietly. He snuggled down next to her thoughtfully as she drifted off to sleep. His mind kept turning over where she would be soon and he came up with an idea that he wondered if anyone would agree with. After an hour’s thought, he finally fell asleep at her side.

Trish flew back to London to finish the semester a few days later, while Sav dragged himself reluctantly into the studio. He kept up his trips to London every couple of weeks until the semester ended. Trish took the job in Dublin, so Sav decided to put his plan into action.

“God, I’m so fucking sick of this place,” Joe grouched. “This studio is getting on my nerves!”

“Any suggestions, oh great one?” Phil said sarcastically.

“How about moving to a new studio?” Sav said quietly. Four men turned to face him as one, wondering what he had in mind. “Let’s get out of Holland, move somewhere else...”

“Where?” Steve asked quickly.

“Um, I don’t know,” Sav said evasively. “How about Dublin?”

“That would be a great idea!” Phil laughed. “The world pub!”

“Hell yeah,” Steve laughed, giving Phil a high five.

“Okay,” Joe sighed. “I’ll call Peter and see if he can get us a studio there.” He waited until the others had cleared out for the day, then cornered Sav. “Um, how come I think there’s more to this idea than boredom in Holland?”

“What do you mean?” Sav asked quickly, trying to get past Joe and out into the hall.

“Sav,” he said as he grabbed his friend by the arm. “Mum’s already told me that Trish took a job in Dublin Castle, mate!”

“Okay, so sue me,” Sav said finally. “Forgive me for wanting to be closer to my girlfriend!”

“Just so we’re being honest here,” Joe chuckled as he let him go as he reached for the telephone. Trish must really have Sav tied up in knots if he was willing to drag the whole band off to Dublin for her. Joe only hoped things would finally start to happen once they got there!

Three months later, Trish heard a knock on the door of her Dublin apartment and went to answer it. As soon as the door was part of the way open, Trish felt her world spin as Sav picked her up and whirled her around. “What are you doing here?” she asked in surprise.

“Just thought I’d drop by for a visit,” he laughed.

“But, but, aren’t you supposed to be in the studio?” she asked. “It’s a weekday!”

“Actually, I’m on the way to the studio after I leave here,” he said with a grin.

“You flew all the way to Ireland from Holland and now you’ve got to go back?” she asked, puzzled by his laughing attitude.

“No, I, well, I made a suggestion and the guys took it,” he said, smiling broadly.

“What suggestion?” she stammered.

“That we get the hell out of Holland and find someplace new to record,” he answered, waiting to see her response.

“So, where are you recording then?” she said finally.

“Windmill Lane Studio number two, here in Dublin,” he said, watching her face.

“Oh my God, you’re going to be working here in Dublin?” she said excitedly.

“Uh huh!” he laughed as she wrapped her arms around him. “Are you off today?”

“Yeah, I am”

“Why don’t you come to the studio with me?” he asked quietly.

“Um, I don’t think so, baby,” she said quietly. “Maybe next time, okay?”

“Why not? We’re just going in to get used to the new setup today anyway, so it’s not gonna be a big deal,” he said with a smile. “I know Karla and Phil’s new lady love are gonna be there, and, well, maybe Lorelei as well.”

Trish looked away thoughtfully for a moment, then said, “Okay, I’ll just get changed and be right with you.”

“Thanks, baby,” he said quietly as she turned and headed for her bedroom. She stopped at the door and said, “So, where are you staying while you guys are here?”

“Oh, management rented us some flats not far from the studio,” he said absently.

“Ah, well, I was just thinking,” she said thoughtfully. “Why don’t you just stay here instead? I mean, there’s no sense in you...”

“Do you really want me to, luv?” he whispered softly.

“No, I just thought I’d tease you,” she giggled. He walked slowly across the room, almost stalking her as she said, “Yes, Rick, I want you to stay with me.”

“That’s a big step, isn’t it,” he asked as he reached her side.

“Yeah, I guess it is,” she said with a smile as he wrapped her in his arms. “So maybe I should ask the right way, so we don’t have any misunderstandings, huh? Richard Savage, will you move in with me?”

“Yes,” he whispered roughly as his lips descended on hers. They kissed for a long while before Trish pulled away and said, “I’ve got to get dressed, okay, baby?”

“Sure,” he said with a grin. “Mind if I watch?”

“Go for it,” she giggled as she turned into the room. He settled down on the bed as she pulled out a pair of jeans. Shaking his head, he said, “How bout the black mini, just for me?”

“Hmm, well, just this once, I guess I could,” she said with a slow smile. She held up a flowing white blouse and asked quietly, “This okay, sir?”

“Oh yeah,” he nodded quickly. Standing, he made his way to her side and said, “Here, let me help you with that...”

“Uh, I think I can do it on my own,” she laughed.

“Let a guy feel useful,” he whispered as he unbuttoned her shirt and slid it from her shoulders. He started to slip her bra strap from her shoulder, only to hear her whisper, “Uh uh, luv! I’m getting dressed, remember?”

“OH, that’s right,” he chuckled as he moved the strap back. She stepped away and slid out of her sweats, then said, “Well, you gonna finish this job?”

“Yes, ma’am,” he laughed as he reached for her mini skirt. Stepping into it, she balanced herself on his shoulder as he moved the leather up past her thighs and spun her around to fasten the zipper. His hand slipped under the skirt, running up her thigh until she smacked it away and said, “Back to work, boy!”

“Yessum,” he said quickly, grabbing her shirt. As he buttoned the shirt, he kissed his way up her stomach with each one until the job was finished. Then he pulled her into his arms and whispered, “Now I can’t wait to get you back OUT of those clothes!”

“Well, you’ll just have to wait til later for that,” she said with a giggle. “For now, you’ve got to meet up with the others!”

“Oh, all right,” he sighed as he pulled her towards the door. The short drive to the studio passed quickly as Trish said, “When do you want to go get your things?”

“Um, how bout I go over and grab them in the morning, before I go to the studio?” Sav asked quietly.

“Great!” Trish smiled. “I’ll have you a key made by the time you get here.”

“So I can’t stay with you tonight?” he said softly.

“Um, nah, you get one more night of freedom,” she said with a wicked grin.

“If I wanted freedom, I would have said no,” Sav answered matter-of-factly. Trish considered him for a moment before she said, “I know, Rick. But we’ll take this one last night, just to make sure this is what you want, okay?”

Pulling the car into a parking space, Sav turned to her and nodded slowly, whispering, “Whatever you want, luv.”

Trish leaned over and kissed him, then said, “Let’s go, okay? The guys are expecting you!”

“Okay.”

As soon as they got into the studio, Trish ran almost headlong into Lorelei, who smiled brightly at her. “Trish?” she said quickly. “Looks like there may be a change of plans! Someone showed up to get these five back to work. Someone rather unexpected!”

Trish looked around and saw a man with curly blond hair bent over the mixing board, deep in conversation with Steve and Phil. As soon as Sav saw him, he gasped, “Oh my God! Mutt!”

“Sav, how are you doing?” Mutt said with a laugh as Sav pulled him in for a hug.

“You here for the duration, mate?” Sav asked quickly as he stepped back.

“No, I just figured I’d stop in for a few days, since we were all in Dublin at the moment,” Mutt answered honestly.

“We’ve just got to find a way to make him want to stay,” Joe said as he thumped Mutt on the shoulder.

“Well, lazing around a studio isn’t the way to do it,” Mutt retorted. “You guys need to get back to work, cuz from what Steve and Phil have said, you don’t have a damn thing you can use yet!”

“Trish,” Sav said quietly, pulling her off to the side, “If we’ve actually got Mutt here, even for a few days, we’ve got to take advantage of it. I’m sorry, but it looks like we’re going to be working here after all.”

“That’s okay, baby,” she whispered as she kissed him on the cheek. “I’ll just head back to the house and try to get some of my own work done around there.”

Karla came over and linked her arm through Trish’s, saying, “The three of us are going to go shopping. Care to join us?”

Trish looked into Karla’s smiling eyes, then glanced over to find Lorelei and Phil’s new girlfriend talking in a corner. She looked over at Sav, who nodded quietly. Turning back to Karla, Trish smiled and said, “Sure, sounds like fun.”

“By the way, Trish, this is Jacki, Phil’s new girlfriend,” Karla said, motioning to the brunette that stood with Lorelei. As soon as she turned towards Trish, Trish recognized her as the girl that had caused such problems between Phil and Therese back in Holland. With a laugh, Trish extended her hand and said, “Nice to meet you, Jacki!”

“I’ve heard a lot about you,” Jacki said with a grin. “Sav here never stops talking about you!”

“Oh, really?” Trish laughed. “Well, only believe a quarter of what you hear! We’ll have to have a talk about this later, Mr. Savage!”

“What do you expect?” Sav replied with a grin. “You’re my favorite topic of conversation!” Neither of them saw the hooded look Steve gave Trish during the exchange. Trish was one subject Steve managed to avoid like the plague, especially when Lorelei was around. He’d never told Lorelei about his history with Trish and had no intention of doing so now. He only hoped Trish didn’t divulge that information in the course of their conversation that day. Steve watched as Sav kissed Trish quickly before letting her head out the door with the other three women. Then he set about tearing apart the tapes they’d made in Holland with Mutt and the rest of the band.

“Okay, ladies, what shall we do?” Jacki asked as they made their way to Joe’s station wagon. “We can go shopping, sightseeing, grab something to eat, whatever we want to do!”

“Shopping!” came three voices in unison. They all broke out laughing as Trish looked around at them. Each smile was so genuine, so welcoming, Trish couldn’t help but relax around them. They got into the car before Trish thought of one very strange thing. “Why isn’t Miriam here with Rick?”

“Um, well, they...” Lorelei started to say, then looked to Karla. It was Jacki who finally said, “Trish, Miriam and Rick are having some problems. She decided not to come with him for the moment.”

“Oh shit!” Trish exclaimed. “What happened?”

“Nobody knows what it’s about,” Karla answered. “He won’t even tell the guys about it.”

“Damn,” Trish sighed. “I really thought they had it all together.”

“Nothing’s been quite the same since Rick lost his arm,” Karla said quickly. “At least, that’s what Joe said. Rick is so obsessed with getting back behind his kit, he hasn’t really had time for anything else...including Miriam.”

“Think that’s what happened?” Trish asked “That his arm is what’s causing their problems? It’s been known to happen...”

“I don’t honestly know,” Karla answered quietly. “Joe isn’t sure either. Miriam’s never acted like she did anything but support his trying to make it back to the band and she didn’t seem bothered by his lack of two arms, so I’m just not sure.”

“Well, I hope they get things worked out,” Trish sighed. “Now, enough about the bad things, what’s been going on while I’ve been over here? Jacki, how did you and Phil meet?”

Lorelei started laughing and said, “The night of Steve’s birthday party? Remember the fit Therese threw over Phil looking at another woman? Well, this is the other woman!”

“That’s what I thought,” Trish laughed. “So he finally just decided to go over and ask you out, huh?”

“Actually, I saw him looking at me and asked him to dance,” Jacki giggled. “I guess we just hit it off, cuz he called me the next day and, well, we’ve been together ever since!”

“That’s great!” Trish smiled. “I’m glad Phil didn’t let Therese get to him too much. Her roommates were just total bitches!”

“Oh, really?” Lorelei said with a look in Trish’s direction. “How so?”

“Um, ah, well,” Trish stammered, realizing she was suddenly treading on dangerous ground. “We went out with them and they slipped something in all of our drinks, cuz they didn’t think they were getting enough attention from their dates.”

“God, what did they give you guys?” Karla gasped.

“Why weren’t they getting enough attention?” Lorelei asked at the same moment.

“It was something called Lover’s Speed,” Trish said quickly. From the look on Lorelei and Jacki’s faces, they’d both heard of that one before. “With me being there, Zeff was being a little reserved and his date got pissed.”

“What’s Lover’s Speed?” Karla asked innocently.

“OH MY GOD!” Jacki gasped. “It can be the best or absolute worst drug you’ve ever seen! Makes you hornier than you’ve ever been before and you just can’t stop yourself.”

“Shit!” Karla exclaimed. “What happened?”

“I don’t remember very well,” Trish lied evasively. “I just remember Sav and Steve being as gentlemanly as possible that night, that’s all.”

“Oh wow,” Lorelei said quickly. “Glad they were so good about it!”

“So am I,” Trish said with a secret smile that none of the others saw because they were pulling into a shopping center. “I wouldn’t mention it to any of the guys, by the way. They were all MAJORLY pissed about what Natasha did.”

“God, I imagine!” Karla said, slightly in awe that Joe hadn’t killed his girlfriend for messing with his cousin. She said as much a moment later and Trish said, “Well, I know he threw her out of there as fast as could be, that’s for sure!”

“Good, sounds like she deserved it!” Jacki said quietly as they got out of the car. They headed into the clothing store, searching the racks for anything they liked. Within two hours, Karla had bought several new pieces of clothing, as well as four new pairs of shoes. Trish got a new white mini dress, with matching shoes and purse, and Lorelei and Jacki each had new outfits as well. They went into a nearby pub for a late lunch before Trish dragged them off to a furniture store. She was still trying to furnish her new apartment, so she got the others’ opinions on a few small items before they all decided to head back to her house. They dropped Trish off, then headed back to the complex where all the guys were staying. Trish put out her new purchases, then decided to settle down to do some work she’d brought home from the castle museum. She finally fell asleep around eleven o’clock and didn’t wake up again until she heard a knock on the door the next morning.

Trish got up and groggily opened the door, finding Sav standing there surrounded by bags and guitar cases. He looked at her with a broad smile and said, “Hi!”

“Welcome home, baby,” she laughed as she moved out into his arms.

“Got a place for a newly homeless man?” he grinned as she kissed him slowly.

“Hmm,” she whispered against his lips. “I think I can be a charitable soul and let you stay here.”

“Good,” he chuckled as he pulled back and handed her one of his bags. “Then you can help me move in!”

“Yes, dear,” she said with a roll of her eyes. She took a second case and lugged them back to the bedroom, while Sav started putting his guitars in the corner of the living room. Within a few minutes, they had all of his things moved into the apartment and Trish helped him start to unpack. She set about hanging his clothes next to hers in the closet as he put things away in the dresser. Forty five minutes later, all his stuff was hidden away in the bedroom and Trish stashed his cases in the hall closet. She turned to the living room and teased with her hands on her hips, “I suppose I’m just going to have to get used to having guitars and stuff all over the place...”

“I can keep them in the closet if you want me to,” Sav said quietly, not knowing if she was really going to have a problem with his instruments.

“Rick,” she said, turning to face him. “You’re a musician. What did I expect, to not be able to see it in your home? You can keep them wherever you want to!”

“Thanks, luv,” he whispered, pulling her into his body. She kissed him quickly, then caught a glimpse of the clock.

“Oh shit!” she exclaimed, moving back away from him. “I’ve got to be at the castle in half an hour!”

“Damn!” Sav sighed as she took off for the bedroom to change clothes. She came out ten minutes later and Sav barely recognized her. She wore a black pantsuit, low heels and her hair was piled up on top of her head.

“Wow!” Sav gasped, looking her over. “Where’d you come from?”

“I have to dress respectably to work in the museum office,” she said uncertainly. “Does it look okay?”

“Fantastic, luv,” he whispered, kissing her quickly. “Want me to take you to work? It’s not far from where I’m heading anyway...”

“That’d be nice,” she smiled. “I’ll just grab the bus to get home, like I usually do.”

“Okay, let’s go then,” Sav answered. “Don’t want to make you late for work, do I?”

“Thanks, luv.”

Trish practically floated into the office of the museum. It felt so different, knowing that Sav would be coming HOME to her that night. He wasn’t just stopping by for a visit any longer. He actually lived with her now! For a moment, Trish wondered if she was really doing the right thing. Steve still weighed heavily on her mind. But he’d moved on with Lorelei, so it was time for Trish to do so as well. She did love Sav, that much she knew. So maybe everything that had happened really was for the best. She decided to focus on the future she had with Sav and put everything with Steve behind her.

After work, Trish headed for the bus stop, only to find Sav waiting outside the castle gates. Walking up to his car, she smiled in at him and said, “What are you doing here, luv?”

“Just thought I’d surprise you,” he grinned. “Your chariot awaits, my lady!”

Sliding in next to him, she said, “Careful, Rick. I could get used to this kind of treatment!”

“Well, I just thought this once I’d come pick you up,” he said quietly. “Our lunch break happened to be at just the right time today, so I thought I’d come give you a ride home.”

“Home,” she sighed. “Sound any different to you?”

“A lot,” he answered softly. His hand covered hers as he pulled out into traffic and pointed the car towards their flat. “It’s something I don’t think I’ve had since I got into this mad business.”

“I know the feeling,” she whispered. “I haven’t really had a ‘home’ since my parents died.”

“Well, looks like we both do now, don’t we?” he smiled back at her.

“Yeah,” she answered as she laid her head on his shoulder. He kissed her forehead gently, then focused his attention back on the road. When they reached the apartment, Sav dropped her off and headed back to the studio and his job.

Trish spent the evening working on doing some cataloging for the museum until about eleven, then she headed for bed. Sav had already said it was unlikely he’d be home before one a.m., so she decided not to wait up. After all, she did have to work in the morning. Sav slipped into bed around one thirty and pulled Trish into his arms, kissing her neck lightly.

“Mmmm,” she moaned sleepily. “Hi.”

“Hi, baby,” he whispered softly, his breath tickling her ear as he spoke. She turned over to face him just as his lips came down gently. Trish wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer, enjoying the warmth of his body in her near sleeping state. His hand slipped under her short nightgown, moving lightly over her breast and teasing her nipple gently as she started to move under him. A moment later, his hips came between her thighs and she moaned as he entered her body. They moved slowly together, taking their time as they built to a gentle mutual orgasm. Sav pulled her nightgown off over her head and molded her supple body against him as they curled together to sleep.

Over the next few months, their life fell into a routine. They got up each morning and had breakfast together before Sav took Trish to work. Then, either Sav came by on his lunch break or Trish caught the bus home after work. Once in a while, she went back to the studio with him, but often she went home to do more work for the museum. Mutt had at first extended his stay to three weeks, then had just given in and dedicated himself to working on the new album with the band, so work went far into the night most of the time. Trish was usually in bed by the time Sav came home, so he crawled in behind her almost as soon as he walked in the door. Depending on how rough Mutt had been on the band that night, Sav either fell almost immediately to sleep or woke Trish for some late night lovemaking.

Joe got sick of living in his apartment, so he started looking for a house in Dublin. He loved the area and decided he wanted to finally put down roots in one spot instead of living like a nomad forever. He and Karla looked at several places in and around Dublin before settling on one in Dalkey, a place on Strawberry Hill they both loved. He took Trish over just before the paperwork was finalized and showed her around the house, which Trish loved as much as Joe.

“It’s so beautiful, Joe!” she gasped as she looked around.

“Eh, it’s a little smaller than I’d like, but Karla absolutely loves it,” Joe sighed.

“So, I take it you won’t be living here alone, then?” Trish said with a smile.

“Uh, no,” Joe replied cautiously. “Karla and I are moving in together. So Sav isn’t going to be the only unavailable Leppard much longer.”

“Seems to me, none of you guys are “available” anymore, luv,” Trish laughed. “Phil and Jacki are pretty serious about each other, and Rick and Miriam...”

“Rick and Miriam broke up, Trish,” Joe answered quickly.

“What?” Trish gasped. “You’re kidding me!”

“No, Rick said she just couldn’t take it anymore,” Joe said softly. “She got sick of him spending all his time behind his kit, trying to relearn it.”

“But, that’s his job!” Trish exclaimed. “How could she not understand that?”

“Guess she got sick of spending so much time alone while he was working,” Joe sighed.

“But all of the rest of the girlfriends spend just as much time alone,” Trish said quickly.

“I know that and you do, but apparently Miriam just can’t do it anymore,” Joe answered. “So Rick is back in the single column. Poor bloke.”

“Guess he’s the only one then,” Trish said reluctantly. “Steve has Lorelei, so he’s definitely off the market.”

“How are you about that, Trish?” Joe asked curiously.

“Fine,” she said quickly. “I’m glad he’s happy with her.”

“You sure about that?”

“Zeff, I’ve got Sav now,” Trish answered softly. “He’s more than enough to keep me happy. I’m glad Steve found Lorelei. She’s good for him.”

“Okay, I’ll let it drop,” Joe laughed. “You obviously don’t want to talk about him.”

“Good bloke, Zeff,” Trish sighed. “Now show me the upstairs on this palace, okay?”

“Yes ma’am!” he laughed with a mock salute. There was something in Trish’s voice that worried Joe, like she was trying desperately to hide something even from herself. But he wasn’t going to drag it out of her now. She seemed to be really happy with Sav, so who was Joe to judge anyway?

“God, the view from this balcony is gorgeous, Zeff!” Trish gasped as she looked out over the ocean.

“I know, that’s the main thing I really loved about this place,” Joe said with a smile. “The thought of waking up and looking out over that ocean, well, it was just too wonderful to pass up. Would you if you had that chance?”

“Good lord, no!” she laughed She stared out longingly over the water and said, “I could only wish that we’d find someplace with a view like this one.”

“We?” Joe laughed. “I take it things are doing quite well in your little piece of the world?”

Trish let out a long sigh, then turned to face her cousin. “Yeah, luv, you could say that,” she said with a chuckle. “When he’s not in the studio, I don’t get a moment’s peace, I’ll tell you that much!”

“Whoa, Trish, I don’t really want that much information, thank you!” Joe said, trying to shake the unwanted image of Sav and Trish together from his head. After all, this was his baby cousin he was forced to think about and he found it a trifle uncomfortable.

“I didn’t mean THAT, Zeff!” she said quickly. “I meant, he’s just always right there, doing whatever I want to! I’m so not used to that in a man!”

Joe looked her over, wondering if Sav was trying TOO hard with her. Then she just smiled and said, “It’s kinda nice to know he really wants to be with me that much. Plus, he’s in the studio sooooo damn much that there really isn’t that much time for us to be together, you know?”

“God, don’t I know that feeling!” Joe sighed, leaning down on the rail of the balcony. “Sometimes it seems like the only time I see Karla is on my days off right now and those seem few and far between.”

“Well, moving in together will help with that,” Trish said quietly as she put a hand over Joe’s. “It’s really been good for me and Sav, I’ll tell you that much. You see a whole new side of someone when they’re right on the other side of the bed instead of clear across town every night. I can really see how hard he works when you guys are writing and he can see how important my work is to me.”

“What are you going to do when the next tour starts?” Joe asked curiously.

“We’ve talked about it and I’ll probably take a short leave of absence at the beginning of the tour, then again towards the end,” Trish sighed.

“Think you can deal with it?”

“Yeah, I’m sure I can,” she answered softly. “I just hope he can, too, cuz I’ll bet it can get kinda lonely in a different town every night. Never really getting to know anyone, no roots anywhere. I hope he doesn’t forget me while he’s out there.”

“Maybe that’s why I bought this place,” Joe replied quietly. “So I know I’ve got a home back here and I’m not some wandering nomad.”

“Are you thinking of having Karla go with you?” she asked quickly.

“Yeah, maybe that’ll keep me honest out there,” he sighed. Then he winked and said, “If that’s possible!”

Punching him in the shoulder, Trish laughed and said, “It better be, Zeff, or Karla’s gonna hang you up to dry and I’ll be there to hand her the rope!”

“Aw, great!” Joe sighed mockingly. “My own bloody cousin, hanging me out for my girlfriend! That’s the thanks I get for taking you under my wing, eh?”

“Consider it payback for the day I had to beat sense back into your head about my lifestyle,” Trish snorted.

Joe let out a long slow breath and said, “You know, I was just worried about you. Don’t you?”

“I know, Zeff,” she said with a smile. “But see, I managed to take care of myself after all, didn’t I?”

“Guess you did, luv,” he laughed as he put his arm around her shoulders. “Guess you bloody well did.”

As time passed, Trish finally got comfortable in her life. She adored Sav and he seemed intent on catering to her every whim when they were together. As for Steve, they’d found a comfortable middle ground where they could be friends even with their past relationship. The awkward silences between them were a thing of the past and they could hang around with each other without tension once again. Trish thought the world of Steve’s girlfriend, Lorelei, and did every thing in her power to try and help Lorelei keep Steve’s drinking in hand.

The band was getting frustrated by how long it was taking to get the Pyromania follow up recorded. They were like children kept inside on a beautiful summer day. Everyone wanted to get out and perform again, but the album was no where near completion. When the offer came in for them to do the Monsters of Rock tour in the summer of 1986, the only question was “would Rick be able to do it”? They decided to try a few warm up shows using another drummer, a bloke named Jeff Rich.

Trish sat in the dressing room watching the anxious Leppards pace backstage before the first live show since Rick’s accident. She couldn’t help but laugh at the fact that the calmest one of the bunch was Rick himself. Going over to sit down next to him, she said as much to him.

“Well, luv,” Rick sighed. “I know I can do this, especially with Jeff here too. The rest of the guys, um, well, I don’t think they’re quite as confident.”

“They will be, I’m sure,” she said with a smile. The man had her completely amazed. Here he was, a drummer who’d lost an arm and he was still playing. And still loving it. True, she’d seen the days when he’d thought it would be easier to just give up, but those were so few and far between! There’d never been a moment when anyone had tried for anything but getting Rick back behind his kit again. No suggestions of finding a replacement, only encouragement that Rick would succeed.

“You gonna get to be at the next show, Trish?” Rick asked quietly.

“No, unfortunately I’ve got to work the next morning and I wouldn’t be able to make it back home afterwards,” Trish replied. “But I’ll be here for the show in Ballybunion, never fear!”

Karla walked over and said, “Trish? It’s time to head for our seats before the show starts!”

“I’ll be right there!” Trish smiled up at her before making her way to Sav. She wrapped her arms around him from behind and kissed him on the neck, then said, “Get out there and show them how it’s done, baby!”

Turning into her arms, Sav whispered into her ear, “Thanks, luv.”

“For what?” she laughed.

“Just for being here for me,” he said as he kissed her gently.

“Most welcome, luv,” she murmured as he nuzzled into her throat. They pulled apart when they heard a glass crash across the room.

“DAMNIT STEVE!” Lorelei screamed. “Since when do you drink before you go onstage?”

“Calm down, luv,” Steve said quietly. “Just a drop to help my nerves, that’s all!”

Motioning for Karla to get Lorelei out into their seats, Trish went over to Steve and said softly, “Steve, you know you don’t need that shit, don’t you?”

“I just wish she’d get off my bleeding back about it!” Steve sighed.

“She’s worried about you, luv,” Trish answered softly. “And for that matter, so am I. You really need to get away from that shit before it gets too much more of a hold on you.” Gently, she pried the bottle of whiskey out of his hands and sat it down on a nearby table. “You can do it, Steve. Honestly. I have faith in you.”

“Wish I could say the same,” Steve whispered just as the stage manager yelled, “Leppard on in three minutes!”

Taking Steve by the hand, she said, “Everything is going to be fine, luv. I promise you that.” She squeezed his hand tightly, then turned and gave Sav another quick kiss before heading out to her seat. Sav picked up his guitar and put it on before putting his hand on Steve’s shoulder. “She’s right, mate. We’re all going to be just fine up there tonight.”

Then there was no more time to think as they headed up onto the stage. Trish was proven right as the band played old favorites for the crowd and even previewed two new songs for them. At first, they all seemed just a bit stale, not sure what to do. But within fifteen minutes, there was no doubt that they knew exactly who they were and what they were doing. Joe pranced around the stage, his blond hair flying behind him as he worked the crowd up. Sav posed like he always had and he managed to sneak in a few winks meant just for Trish while he was at it. Steve finally got into the spirit of things, throwing innumerable shapes as he always had. Phil worked up a couple of young girls sitting in the front row, flirting up a storm with them. And by the end of the show, Rick was pouring sweat as he did his best to keep up with the others. After the show, the guys all congratulated each other on a well played show as their girlfriends made their way back stage.

Trish threw herself into Sav’s arms and whispered into his ear, “I knew you could do it, luv!”

Sav whirled her around and said, “We all did it, Trish. And Rick and Jeff were SOLID together.”

“God, I know!” she laughed as he put her back down on her feet. Looking around, she saw Joe and Karla off to one side, completely entangled in a celebratory snog. Phil was thumping Rick soundly on the back, saying what a wonderful job he’d done on the kit. But Steve and Lorelei were no where to be found. Trish looked around for them for just a moment before Sav pulled her off to the side and started nuzzling down against her neck.

“Can’t you wait to get home?” she giggled as his hands wandered over her backside.

“Oh, God, Trish!” Sav groaned. “You know that’s not fair! I’m not coming home tonight and you know it. The next gig is a good drive away, so we have to get on the road.”

“Damn,” she sighed. “I did forget that.”

Looking around at the others, Sav grabbed Trish by the hand and pulled her out the back door of the club’s dressing room. He gave her a grin as soon as he spotted the two limos the band would be using to get to the next town and opened the door for her. Sliding onto the seat, he tugged her inside with him, then slammed the door shut. She didn’t get to say a word as his mouth closed down over hers. All she could do was giggle at the ridiculousness of making out in the back seat of a car like a pair of teenagers. Well, wealthy teenagers, given that this was a limo, but still teenagers.

Sav’s hands ran over her back as he guided her body under his own. Shivering under his touch, she whispered, “Um, do you really think this is a good place for this? I mean, what if one of the guys...”

“Don’t worry, luv,” he murmured as his hand slipped under her shirt. “It’s not like I’ve never caught them at it before.” She let out a moan as his fingers traced over her nipple through the fabric of her bra. A moment later, he unfastened the front hooks on it and lowered his head to her now exposed breast. A jolt of electric current shot through her as his lips closed down on her hard nub. Throwing her head back, she matted her fingers through his long curls and ground her hips up into his groin.

His mouth still closed over her taut peak, Sav’s hand made it’s way up under the mini skirt she wore. His fingers probed for entrance into her as she pushed her hips up to meet him. Seconds later, two long fingers found their way into her tight channel and Trish let out a low, pleasure-filled moan. She could her the sound of ripping fabric as her panties gave way to Sav’s harsh tug. His jeans flew open with barely a touch from her.

“MMM, baby, I can’t wait for you any longer,” Sav breathed into her ear.

She pulled him down into her as she whispered, “Then don’t!”

He sank into her, his hard member pushing deep into the core of Trish’s body as she thrust her hips up to meet him. Grasping her shoulders, he buried himself in her over and over in a rough race to their mutual satisfaction. Trish was crying his name again and again as she was swept over the edge into ecstasy. A moment later, Sav reached his own climax with one last hard push.

They were just about to put themselves back together when Sav felt a wave of cool air hit his backside. Then they heard Steve yell, “Why don’t you just stay here then?”

Steve, Sav and Trish all froze as Steve was starting to get into the car. Trish’s eyes went wide just before she covered her face with her hands. Steve’s face dropped as Sav pulled his pants up.

“Shit, I’m sorry Steve,” Sav said quickly as he covered Trish’s body with his own.

“No problem,” Steve said flatly as he stared at Trish. “Not like no one’s ever caught me at it.”

“Right, mate,” Sav grinned. Trish managed to look at Steve and she could still see the hurt in his eyes. Smoothing her skirt down over her thighs, she gave Sav a quick kiss and said, “I see you in Ballybunion, okay, luv?”

“Yeah, I’ll see ya there,” Sav said with a smile as Steve pulled back away from the car. Trish slid out, then walked over to Steve, looking at him in concern.

“Are you okay, luv?” she whispered.

“I’m fine, Trish,” he sighed. “I guess part of me will just never get used to seeing you with him, that’s all. But I’m fine.”

“We can’t avoid it, given that you guys all live out of each other’s pockets so much,” she said softly.

“I know, Trish,” he answered. “Sometimes, especially when Lor and I are having a fight, it’s just hard to see you two so happy together.”

“Trust me, it ain’t all peaches and cream, luv,” she laughed. “When we get into a fight, LOOK OUT!”

“I’m sure,” Steve chuckled. “I’ll never be able to forget you going after Joe that day in your apartment!” Both of them broke out laughing just as Joe and Karla walked out of the club.

“What’s so funny?” Joe asked with a relieved smile. It was good to see them having a laugh together after all the tension the band had dealt with in the last year and a half.

“YOU!” Trish giggled and Steve broke into a belly laugh at Joe’s expression.

“Just remembering the day Trish beat the hell out of you, that’s all, Joe,” Steve finally managed to say.

“Laugh it up, Clark,” Joe said with a grimace. “Just remember, if she hadn’t, you’d have been dog meat!”

Steve tried to straighten up, but he just kept chuckling. The more he laughed, the more Trish did, until they were once again caught in a fit of giggles. Joe just glared at both of them, but Karla started laughing as well. She looked up at Joe and said, “You mean, TRISH beat you up?”

“Only cuz she cheats!” Joe frowned.

“Ah, okay,” Karla whispered with a conspiratorial wink towards Trish.

“Well, as fun as this has been,” Trish sighed. “I’ve got to be heading home. I’ll see you all in a few days, okay?”

“Have a safe trip home,” Joe said quietly, glad that the mirth at his expense was finally over.

“Yeah, we’ll see you at the show,” Karla chimed in.

“Bye, Trish,” Steve said softly, his face suddenly a mask of sadness as he realized she was leaving.

“Thanks everyone,” Trish said with a smile. “I’ll see ya there!” With that, she turned and made her way out to the parking lot. She slid behind the wheel and pointed the car towards home, with a small sigh for the fact that she was having to go without Sav for the next few days. But, on the other hand, it was something she was going to have to get used to. When he went out on tour, they would have to deal with a very long separation. Thoughts of dealing with the long time away from her lover followed Trish the rest of the way home.

A few lonely days later, Trish made her way to Ballybunion for the band’s third warm up show. Showing up at the back stage door turned into a total bust, because security was tighter here than it had been before. So Trish decided to just watch the show from the front of the stage and see if she could find any of the other girlfriends in the front rows.

Making her way through the half empty club, she shook her head for this ironic reversal of the crowd. Two years earlier, this club would have been far too small for Leppard to play. Having them here would have caused a riot. But now, only a couple of years later, she’d passed people giving away tickets outside.

She headed down to the third row, where her assigned seat with the other girlfriends awaited her. Karla was already there, but where were Lorelei and Jacki? Slipping into her seat, Trish smiled over at Karla and said, “Okay, next time remind me to get my backstage pass, please?”

“Ah, we were wondering where you were!” Karla laughed as she hugged Trish. “I was getting lonely, big time, tonight!”

“Where are Lor and Jacki?” Trish asked in concern.

“Jacki’s off working on an acting job and Lorelei, well, she and Steve got into it a couple of days ago and she flew back to Paris to cool off,” Karla sighed.

“Oh shit!” Trish gasped. “What did they fight about?”

“His drinking, what else?” Karla answered quietly. “Lor tried to get Joe involved in it, but Joe just told her that when it became a problem for the band, then they’d deal with it.”

“Fuck,” Trish whispered, suddenly very worried about Steve. She could tell he was drinking a good bit, but a lot of times she drank just as much as him. If Lorelei kept pushing this subject, she was going to succeed at nothing more than driving Steve out of her life. But something was nagging at Trish about this whole thing as the club lights went down and the MC announced the name of Def Leppard. Rather than spend the whole night contemplating depressing thoughts, Trish focused on the band and pushed the ideas out of her mind.

Just as the band was finishing its first number, Sav spotted Trish and broke into a broad grin. She smiled up at him as he mouthed the words “Where have you been?”

“Later,” Trish mouthed back to him with a chuckle.

“Holy shit!” Karla gasped. “Look at the second drum kit!”

Trish’s eyes fell on the Jeff Rich’s kit, only to see it sitting there unused. Yet the band still sounded terrific! Maybe Rick really didn’t need Jeff’s back up after all. She saw Joe giving Rick a broad smile between songs and knew he was thinking the same thing. About forty minutes into the set, she and Karla both saw Jeff slip quietly onto his own kit and start playing without any fanfare. It really didn’t add much to their sound for the rest of the set, Trish thought honestly.

As the show ended, Karla grabbed Trish and pulled her backstage, past the grim faced security man who’d denied Trish entrance earlier. She resisted the urge to stick her tongue out at him as Karla led her into the band’s dressing area. Once they got back there, they overheard Jeff say, “Well, mate, it’s been nice working with you. But I think you can do this on your own now!”

Rick’s reply was lost to Trish as Sav scooped her up into his arms and laughed, “You rotten little tease! Why didn’t you come backstage before the gig!”

“Ask the guard at the door,” Trish sighed into his hair as he crushed her in his arms. “He didn’t believe I was here to meet you!”

“Oh, I’m so sorry, luv,” Sav said softly as he looked down into her eyes. “I forgot to put you on the list for tonight.”

“Ah, so this is your fault,” she said in a voice full of mock hurt.

“I said I was sorry!” Sav exclaimed before he saw the smile that crossed her lips. Then he leaned down and whispered just before he kissed her again, “You truly are a horrid little tease!”

“So,” she whispered as he pulled back from her, “Are you coming home tonight?”

“No, not yet,” he answered softly, putting a gentle hand on her cheek. “I’ll be home in three days, okay, luv?”

Trish let out a long sigh, then answered, “I guess it has to be.”

“Trish, why don’t you just quit your job?” he asked quietly. “Then you could travel with me while we’re out on tour?”

“No,” she said softly. “I’ll just have to learn how to deal with this, won’t I?”

“It’s not like we need the money, baby,” he said quickly.

“No, but I can’t just sit around all day while you’re in the studio,” she replied. “I’ll drive you crazy in a week if I try to do that.”

Sav let out a long breath, then said, “I understand. Well, can you stay here tonight?”

“Yeah,” she said softly. “What hotel are we staying at?”

“There’s one a few blocks away, that’s where they’ve got us booked tonight,” Sav said with a smile.

“TRISH!” Steve exclaimed as he made his way to her side. “Why didn’t you come back before the show?”

“Ask Mr. Forgetful here,” she said, jabbing Sav in the side with her elbow. “SOMEONE, who shall remain nameless, forgot to put me on the guest list tonight!”

“Ugh, Sav, how could you forget someone as lovely as our Trish?” Steve said with a grin.

Trish saw the bottle in Steve’s hand and said quickly, “Oh, but you’re not even gentleman enough to offer a lady a drink! I see how you are, Stephen!”

Steve looked down at the bottle with his eyebrow furrowed over his eyes, then looked back at Trish before holding it out to her and saying, “Please, be my guest!”

“Bout damn time!” Trish laughed as she tipped the Scotch back and took a long swallow. As the amber liquid burned down her throat, she giggled, “Oh, my! That’s good stuff!”

“Only the best!” Steve chuckled as she took another drink. Sav stared at her, not wanting to say anything about how hard she was hitting the bottle, but Steve caught his disapproving look. “Wonderful,” Steve thought as Trish passed the bottle back to him, “Sav’s going to turn into another Lorelei any minute now!”

“Heading back to the hotel, luv?” Trish asked Steve, unaware of the disapproving look Sav shot her. Sav looked down at her, obviously disappointed that she wasn’t rushing to be alone with him.

“Care to get a drink in the bar if I go over?” Steve asked, as oblivious as Trish to Sav’s feelings.

“Sure!” Trish laughed, finally bringing her eyes up to look at her boyfriend. He leaned down and whispered, “I want to get you alone, baby!”

“Just a drink,” she said softly back. “Lor isn’t here, so he’s all alone! Please?”

Sav nodded, knowing that Trish had always had a soft spot in her heart for Steve. She just simply couldn’t stand to see him sad or miserable. So all he could do was said quietly, “But please, let’s not stay down there all night, okay?”

“We won’t, I promise,” she said with a soft smile. Then she looked at Steve and said, “Shall we go then?”

“Most certainly!” Steve laughed, offering Trish his arm. Pulling Sav up even with Steve, she wound her arms through both of theirs and they headed off into the night. Steve’s bottle got passed around between the three of them as the walked, making them get more and more giggly as they went. Sav tried to whirl Trish around, only to lose his balance and nearly fall with her in his arms. So Steve made his way to them and let Trish throw her arm over his shoulders as well. Then the two men lifted her into the air and let her swing in between them like a small child. But her long legs swung out too far and all three of them went down in a giggling, groaning heap on the sidewalk just outside the hotel entrance. They sat there for a long while, laughing too hard to even think about trying to get up.

Joe and Karla crossed the street not long after their little group, only to find them still tangled up in each other’s arms and legs. Joe pulled Steve up first, then Sav. Looking down at his cousin, he considered leaving her to sit out in the night air before finally getting her to her feet as well. She giggled and laughed, throwing her arms around Joe like she hadn’t seen him in years. When he tried to get her to walk into the hotel, she couldn’t even manage to get one foot in front of the other without tripping. So he swung her up into his arms and carried her up to Sav’s room.

Joe dumped her inelegantly into the middle of Sav’s bed, then quietly left the two of them alone. Shutting off the lights, Sav climbed in the bed with Trish. For a brief moment, he thought about trying to get something started in the bed, but before he could even really complete the thought, he was sleeping soundly beside her.

Trish woke the next morning with a head ready to explode, the sound of Sav’s heart thundering in her ears. Rolling away from him with a groan, she grabbed her pillow and slammed it over her aching head. Why on Earth had she let herself get so damn drunk last night? And just what the hell had Steve had in that bottle to effect her so much? She felt Sav get out of bed and peeked out from under her cushiony shield to see what he was doing. The bathroom door was just closing as she looked out. Puzzled, but unable to reason well enough to figure out what was going on, she stuffed the pillow back over her face and tried to go back to sleep.

She woke again when she heard Sav walking around the hotel room. Laying there for a moment, she waited for him to wake her up. But he didn’t. Peering out from under the pillow, she saw him getting ready to leave the room and whispered, “Going somewhere, luv?”

“Yeah,” he answered shortly, laying his hand on the door knob.

“Where?” she asked, finally forcing herself to sit up.

“Just out,” he said noncommittally, opening the door.

“Rick, what’s wrong?” she asked softly.

“Nothing,” he answered roughly. “Just go back to sleep and get rid of your hang over. I’ll be back later.”

“I don’t want to sleep,” she said quietly. “I’d much rather laze around in bed all day.”

“Fine,” he said abruptly. “I’ll see you later, after you’ve decided to get up.”

“I don’t want to do it alone, silly,” she said with a small smile, not understanding what was going on.

“Then maybe you should call Steve,” he said roughly, the hurt apparent in his voice.

“I don’t want Steve,” she whispered. “Rick, what’s going on?”

Turning away from the door, he slammed it shut and watched her flinch with a satisfied smirk. Then he said, “We’ve been apart for how long, Trish? And so what does my loving girlfriend do? Rush back to the hotel to spend time with me? No. She takes up Steve’s invitation to get pissed and passes out as soon as we get back to the hotel room. So what am I supposed to think?”

“Rick, you know I just felt sorry for him,” she answered quietly. “He’s all by himself since Lor left....”

“Trish, you know Lor left because they fought about his drinking,” Sav said quickly, the anger fading from his voice. “So what did you, hell WE, end up doing? Getting drunk with him! Neither one of us is helping his situation. Can’t you see that?”

Looking down at the floor, she whispered, “I guess you’re right. But his problems with Lorelei really aren’t our business, are they? I mean, you wouldn’t want him getting in the middle of us when we were fighting, would you?”

“No, but...I guess you’re right,” he sighed. Walking slowly over to the side of the bed, he sat down next to her whispered, “I’m sorry. I guess maybe I overreacted a bit. I just couldn’t wait to see you and then you wanted us to go off with Steve last night...”

“Only cuz I get worried about him sometimes,” she said softly, her hand running over his leg gently. “You can’t tell me you guys don’t worry about him, at least once in a while?”

“We do,” he answered softly, pulling her into his arms. “But we can’t help him unless he wants help. He has to slow down on the booze, we can’t make him.” Then he lost his train of thought as Trish’s lips moved softly over the flesh of his neck. She sucked his earlobe into her mouth, her tongue running lightly over the tip of it. A shiver shot through his body at the contact. His lips parted and his breath turned ragged as her tongue snaked down into his ear.

"You wench!" Sav laughed, turning and pinning her body to the bed forcefully. Her arms were held down onto the mattress by his as his mouth ran over the flesh at the V of her shirt. She wiggled under his body as his hips pressed hers down into the bed. Adjusting her arms roughly, he took both her small wrist in one of his larger hands and let his other hand run down along her side. His fingers slipped under her shirt, moving slowly over the taut flesh of her stomach. The front clasp of her bra seemed to unfasten of it's own accord under Sav's skilled fingers. Pulling her shirt up and brushing the bra aside, Sav lowered his head to her breast and captured one hard peak with his lips. She strained against his firm grip, trying to free her hands to touch him. But he smiled up at her and whispered, "Nope. Just lay back and enjoy, luv."

"But..."

"No," he rasped roughly. "No buts. We're doing this my way and you're not going to do anything about it!"

"Oh, GOD!" she groaned as he tugged her shirt up over her head. But before he stripped it completely off her, he stopped at her wrist and tangled the shirt around them. Pulling her body up closer to the top of the bed, he looped the fabric over the corner of the head board. She tried to wiggle free, only to find her arms trapped by her own clothing. Her eyes flew open as she hissed, "Richard! Let me go!"

"I don't think so," he said with a laugh. Then he moved down her body and undid the button of her jeans. The zipper followed slowly as his eyes caught hers. Her struggles ceased as she saw the determined look on his face. She let her body relax when she realized there wasn't any alternative but to go along with Sav's whim at the moment. Closing her eyes, she groaned as he slipped her jeans and panties off her legs. Then she jumped when she felt his tongue making it's slow way up from her ankle, tracing tiny circles on her skin. Chills ran through her body as he trailed up her calf and nuzzled the tender flesh at the back of her knee. Lifting her leg, he continued up the back of her leg until he reached where it joined her hip, then paused to look up at her for a moment. Seeing her lips parted and her eyes closed still, he gave a satisfied smile as he laid her laid back down and started at her other ankle. The anticipation building in her was almost unbearable as he worked slowly up her leg and back to the hip joint. Her breath caught as he blew softly over the curls of her waiting sex. Then his tongue barely flicked out, running just slightly over her slit. He felt the tremble that rocketed through her and let his tongue dip in a little further on the next pass, barely passing over her clit. Biting her lip, Trish fought to control her own body under his mastery. But it was hopeless as he parted her legs further to give himself better access to her. His tongue traced out the delicate folds of her, slipping ever so slightly into her opening before his lips closed over the hard button of her clit. She let out a rough cry as his tongue ran over her most sensitive part. Then a shiver tore through her when two of his fingers slipped into the tightness of her channel. The harder he sucked at her flesh, the more her back arched up against him. Her body tensed like a drawn bow as her climax built up. Then, with the feel of a bursting damn, it broke over her. She whimpered his name as she collapsed limp on the bed, her arms still held above her head.

"Enjoy yourself, luv?" Sav whispered into her ear.

"Uh huh," she said weakly. "You?"

"Not quite yet," he said with a quiet laugh. The denim of his jeans rubbed along her inner thigh as his hips moved gently between her legs. A low moan of pleasure came from her as he entered her with one hard thrust. Unable to touch him with her hands, she could only curl her long legs around his waist and pull him deeper into her body. Pushing her hips up into him, she met his every movement with one of her own. Sav's breath came in a harsh pant as his own orgasm wracked his body, then his arms gave out. His body fell down to cover Trish's. He nuzzled in against her neck, relaxing as exhaustion started to over come him. Trish laid her head back and let out a long, tired sigh. Then she realized that her hands were still above her and asked quietly, "Sav?"

"Yes, luv?" he whispered against her throat.

"Could you let me go now?" she pleaded.

"Hmm," he teased. "But I'm so comfy laying here like this! If I let you go, you're gonna move..."

"I promise I won't," she begged. "But my arms are falling asleep without me!"

"Oh, all right," he smiled. He reached up and loosened the bonds that held her to the bed, then settled back down against her breast. Shaking her arms to restore circulation, she finally wrapped them around her lover's body and let herself slip away to sleep in the safety of his embrace.

Later that morning, Trish headed back to the apartment they shared in Dublin while Sav finished the rest of the warm up tour. Three days later, he finally came home to her, tired but excited from the outcome of the mini tour. According to him, everyone was now revved up about doing the Monsters of Rock shows. Especially since Rick was once again playing on the kit solo. Trish couldn't get time off from work to go to the shows, so she sent Sav off alone once again. Two weeks later, he returned so happy that Trish didn't know how to deal with it.

"You should have heard the bloody crowd, baby!" he said as he spun her around. "The volume nearly blew us off the stage when Joe introduced Rick! And Rick even made bloody Ozzy Osbourne eat his own words!"

"What are you talking about, luv?" she laughed as he set her down. "What did Ozzy have to do with this?"

"Oh," he said quietly, suddenly somber. "Before we went on, Ozzy made a crack to Joe, asking if we were going to let the freak show get up on stage with us. Stunned the hell out of Joe, I'll tell you. I mean, how could Ozzy think we weren't going to let Rick play? He's been a part of this band for the whole fucking ride and he's worked his ass off to get back behind the kit again. Anyway, after the set, Ozzy came up to Rick and personally apologized to him for slagging him earlier. Rick was already nearly in tears after the crowd's reaction! You could have knocked him over with a bloody feather, I tell you!"

"Damn!" Trish whispered. "Well, I'm glad Ozzy was enough of a man to admit he was wrong about Rick..."

"He's a good bloke, honestly," Sav sighed. "We've toured with him, just a bit. But no one really thought Rick could pull it off, so he shocked every bloody crowd we played to." Pulling Trish down on the couch with him, he held her close and let out a long slow breath as he said quietly, "I'm exhausted, my love."

Leaning back against him, she smiled up at him and said, “Is there anything you want, Rick?”

“Just to hold you again and fall asleep with you in my arms,” he murmured against her hair. “I’ve missed you more than you’ll ever know.”

Trish snuggled down into his chest, kissed him gently and answered, “I do know, because I’ve missed you just as much, baby.” He kissed the top of her head, then they settled down into the couch as sleep overtook Sav. Trish wrapped her arms around him and lay looking up at him for a long while before she finally drifted off to sleep as well.

After the excitement of the Monsters of Rock tour, the band finally set back to work on their album again. Trish went back to her work at the castle as well, though it didn’t seem as interesting now that the band actually managed to get things moving in the studio. Every night, she came home to hear how one song or another was finally taking shape. The tapes of what they’d done with Jim Stienman were mostly scrapped, though they did pull out bits and pieces of songs and rework them. Even the slow soft melody that had repeated in Steve’s brain the day Trish had arrived in Holland was salvaged. Steve, Phil and Mutt had played around with it until they finally brought Joe and Sav in on it. Joe’s lyrics for the song were, to Steve, a painful reminder of his feelings for Trish. Each time Joe sang the words in the chorus, Steve wanted to crawl away from the studio and hide. Because they were so true to Steve. “I don’t wanna touch you too much, baby. Cuz making love to you might drive me crazy.” The time he’d spent with Trish really did seem to drive him crazy at times. He’d be in bed with Lorelei, who’d always been so wonderful to him, and he couldn’t help but think of Trish. She was the love of his life, yet she didn’t even know it. So Steve kept silent and continued to work with Sav no matter what he felt inside. And totally agreed with the title of the song he’d begun. Love bites.

Finally, in January of 1987, the band finished the album. Rick had given them the title for it, Hysteria. Everyone surrounding the band was excited about the upcoming release of Hysteria, but most of all, the band members. Each and every one of them were convinced this album could exceed what Pyromania had done, especially given the current climate of music in America. Bon Jovi had broken huge in the time Def Leppard had been in the studio, as had several other groups in heavy metal. It seemed the perfect time for them to be returning to the country that had welcomed them four years before. The only question was, would America remember them?

Trish traveled with Sav for the first month and watched as the band’s excitement slowly died down with a lack luster response to their tour. A lot of the venues they played were barely half full and there was talk of cutting the size of the tour down. As Trish got ready to go home, she left behind her despondent boyfriend along with the rest of them and cried as she wondered just how they were going to break through all over again.

She made her way through each day at work as if she was in a daze, praying for some kind of miracle for the band. Nightly calls from Sav kept her up with the latest happenings around the band between his short visits back home. She often thought about rejoining him, just to help with the problems they were having with Steve. According to both Sav and Joe, Steve’s stagefright was a horrible thing to deal with just before each show. Trish could only cringe hearing that. She could still remember walking into the loo with Joe, only to find Steve bashing his hands into a marble sink. Joe had pulled him away and Trish had held him while he cried, saying he just couldn’t go on stage the next night. He’d been trying to break his fingers so that he wouldn’t be able to play. His insecurity, combined with the little fan response they were getting, was devastating to the morale around the group.

Then something completely amazing happened. The second release off the album, called “Pour Some Sugar On Me”, suddenly took off on the charts. It made it all the way up to number two and when the band headed back to the States after touring elsewhere in the world, they were once again playing to sold out crowds. They were playing all their US dates “in the round”, which meant there was no backstage area for them to rest between songs. So the band came up with a plan to give the guitarists a bit of a break. During “Rock of Ages”, Joe would lead the audience in a twenty minute long ‘audience participation’ type of chant. It gave Phil, Steve and Sav a chance to rest for a few minutes before going back up to finish the show. Unknown to any of their girlfriends, the three guitarists were not alone under the stage. Roadies brought groupies who were willing to ‘relax’ with them under every night.

The tour had continued on for seventeen long months when Trish decided to surprise Sav with a visit. Sav had sent her an all access pass so she’d be ready when she was supposed to come stay with him for the final month of the tour. So she decided to arrive a week early and pop into the under stage area just as Joe began talking to the crowd. Hiding in the mass of metal, she headed his way just after Joe started getting wound up.

Steve headed under the stage during the ‘chant’ Joe did during Rock of Ages and took a seat in the far corner. He watched Sav and Phil come down and headed straight for the waiting groupies, but the women just didn’t interest Steve any more. The first couple of months, when it had be titillating to see how far these women would go, Steve had enjoyed it as much as any red-blooded man would have. But lately, it just seemed very sad. Why would any man who had someone like Trish waiting on him need to have this night after night? He just couldn’t understand it.

Several of the girls tried to get close to him, but he brushed them off as he grabbed a bottle of Vodka. Tipping the bottle back, he took a long swallow and then watched as one of the girls started to fondle Sav. Slipping further back into the shadows, Steve’s mood darkened as he saw the girl open Sav’s pants and take him into her mouth quickly. He belted back another drink, trying to swallow his anger with it. He wouldn’t have done that to her, not this constant cheating that Sav did. Yeah, he was human, he knew he’d probably still have had a hell of a good time in the beginning. But he wouldn’t have been able to do it to Trish every night like Sav did.

From his hidden corner, Steve heard a hissing intake of breath coming from the under stage entrance. Looking up, he found Trish staring in disbelief at Sav, who hadn’t noticed her standing there. Horrified tears bloomed in her eyes as she watched the groupie give him head. Steve bolted across the small enclosure and pulled Trish away from Sav’s line of sight, hissing, “What are you doing down here, Trish?”

“I wanted to surprise Sav,” she cried. “Guess I was the one who got the surprise, huh?”

“I’m sorry, luv,” he whispered, folding her in his arms.

“Is it like this every night, Steve?” she asked tearfully. Looking away guiltily, he didn’t know what to say to her. But she read it on his face and wanted to scream. She wanted to run and hide. And she wanted to hurt Sav as much as this had hurt her. She stared into Steve’s eyes and asked, “Has this been going on for this whole fucking tour?”

Steve nodded silently, feeling the rage building in Trish as her heart broke into a thousand pieces. Turning away from him, she said quietly, “I’m leaving him. I’m not going to put up with this kind of shit every night.”

“No, Trish,” Steve said softly. “Don’t.”

“Why not?” she said angrily.

“You knew what this life was like before this tour started, didn’t you?” Steve said patiently. Slowly, she nodded in agreement and he continued, “Then don’t take off on him just because things are just the way you expected.” He could see she was still angry as Malvin started hollering for Steve to get ready to go back on stage. Pulling out his room key, he said, “Listen, Lor took off for a job in New York, so my room’s empty. Go hide out there for a while.” She nodded and took the key, then left without another word.

Steve made his way to the stairs as Sav and Phil elbowed each other and snickered about Steve’s “hidden rendezvous”. He turned to Sav and said, “I wouldn’t be laughing too hard, mate. I was talking to Trish and she’s furious. She saw everything that happened down here tonight.” Then Steve took off up the stairs, leaving Sav stunned in his wake.

Once Sav managed to get up on stage, he headed straight for Steve and hissed, “What’d she say?”

“Well, I managed to keep her from leaving, but I wouldn’t count on seeing her for a while,” Steve said over the roar of the crowd. “She’s pretty pissed and really hurt right now.”

“Fuck all,” Sav muttered as he turned away and tried to concentrate on the rest of the show. When the band came off stage before the encore, Steve let Phil in on what was going on with a warning that Jacki just might be on the warpath when they got back to the catering room. Rick and Joe looked at Sav and Phil with eyes full of sympathy, suddenly very glad they’d been onstage when all this had happened.

The encore was subdued as Phil and Sav wondered just what was going to happen when they faced their women. As soon as they came off stage, Phil headed straight for Jacki who greeted him with a big smile until she saw the look of concern on his face.

“Everything ok, Phil?” she asked quietly.

Wrapping her in his arms, he said, “Yeah, Trish and Sav just had a huge blow up and I was hoping it hadn’t been contagious.”

“No, why should it be?” she asked curiously. Looking at Sav, Phil thought about denying everything that had been happening. But then he realized that just because Trish hadn’t said anything yet, didn’t mean she wouldn’t.

“Jacki, my love, I think we need to have a talk about what’s happened this tour,” Phil said honestly. He pulled her into one of the smaller rooms and sat her down for what was probably going to be the hardest talk he’d ever had with a woman.

Sav scoured the backstage area, trying to find Trish with no luck. Steve watched him with sad eyes, not wanting to betray Trish’s trust by telling Sav where she was. All he could tell Sav was that she hadn’t left, because he wasn’t even sure she’d gone back to his room. Maybe she’d thought better of it and gone to the room she would have shared with Sav instead. Or so Steve almost hoped.

The ride back to the hotel was tense as Sav wondered about Trish and Jacki barely spoke to Phil. She was furious with him for what they’d done, but had some respect for him finally coming clean about it. Trish had her total sympathy for walking in and seeing Sav in that situation and Jacki wasn’t speaking to Sav either.

Once they arrived at the hotel, Sav ran for his room only to be disappointed that Trish wasn’t there. He headed for the bar next and ordered a shot, telling the bartender to keep them coming until he passed out. Steve had a couple of drinks, then decided to call it a night, just in case Trish was in his room.

Unlocking his door, he opened it slowly and found Trish staring out the window with a bottle of whiskey in her hand. From the low level of alcohol in the bottle, Steve figured she was pretty well gone. Crossing the room, he knelt beside her and took the whiskey from her, then drank a long swallow himself. He looked up at Trish and said, “You okay, luv?”

“Never better,” she murmured with bitter sarcasm. “But at least I just don’t feel much right now.”

“You know those other girls never meant anything to him, don’t you, luv?” Steve whispered as he took another drink.

“Thas prolly the only reason I didn’t leave ‘im, no matter what you said,” Trish sighed. “Steve, I don’t want to hurt anymore. Help me!” With those words, she wrapped her long fingers in his tangled blond locks and kissed him hard. As much as Steve knew she was only doing this to stop her pain, he still couldn’t stop himself as he returned her kiss. A moment later, he was kneeling between her thighs, his hands trailing up the soft flesh under her mini skirt. She tugged roughly at his belt, unfastening it with shaking fingers as she kissed him. He pulled back as she opened his jeans and said, “Trish, we can’t do this!”

“Yes we can,” she whispered as she pulled him back to her. “He’s been doing it for months! Time I get a bit of it back.”

“Not like this, Trish,” Steve whispered.

“Exactly like this!” she said, her anger keeping her from thinking about what she was doing. Steve pulled her to her feet and said, “Damn it, Trish! I’m not going to be part of this.”

“Fine, then I’m sure I can find someone else who will,” she hissed. “But I’d much rather it was you!” She turned away from him, but he grabbed her arm and said, “Luv, you can’t do that either! Please!”

“Then do it with me,” she said, her slow smile lighting an inner fire in Steve. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, then let out a yelp as he felt her finish pulling his jeans open. Pushing her away, Steve pulled his jeans closed and fastened his belt firmly around his waist as Trish sat down on the bed and cried.

“Aren’t you still attracted to me, Steve?” she whimpered.

Griping the back of the chair, Steve whispered through gritted teeth, “Trish, you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met. But I just can’t do this! Not to Lorelei, not to Sav, not to me and, most of all, NOT to *YOU*. It’s just not right, Trish.” He heard her sobbing behind him and turned, saying, “Luv, please, don’t cry anymore. You’ll get over this, I swear it.” Moving over to her, he pulled her into his arms and held her close, letting her cry herself out. Her sobs calmed and she rested quietly against him until Steve realized she’d fallen asleep. Laying down behind her, he put his arm around her and drifted off into a tormented sleep of his own.

The next morning, Steve woke with Trish still in his arms and let out a long sigh. When she woke up, she would probably head back to Sav, but for this one moment in time she was still there with him. He never wanted it to end, even though he knew it had to.

Her eyes fluttered open and Steve smiled gently down at her, saying softly, “Morning, Trish.”

“Oh, God, Steve, please tell me I was hallucinating the ass I made of myself last night,” she whimpered as her hand went to her head.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said with a cockeyed grin. “Forget it, luv. What are friends for, anyway?”

“Thanks,” she whispered, hugging him close before crawling out of his bed. She leaned over and picked up the phone, dialing the number to the room she was supposed to share with Sav. It rang over and over, until a soft feminine voice answered the line with a quiet, “Hello?”

Slamming the phone back into the cradle, she turned to Steve and didn’t even bother to reign in her voice as she screamed, “A FUCKING WOMAN ANSWERED THE GOD DAMN PHONE!”

Steve’s eyes got wide as he saw Trish pick up the bedside lamp and send it hurling across the room. A moment later, she took off out the door without another word. By the time Steve made it to the door way, she’d vanished into the stairwell. Determined to find out what the hell kind of game Sav was playing with Trish’s head now, he stalked over to Sav’s door and pounded with his fist. “DAMN IT, SAVAGE!” he hollered through the wood in front of him. “WHAT THE BLEEDING HELL IS GOING ON IN THERE?”

The door opened and Steve found himself face to face with Karla. Jacki was sitting next to the phone holding Phil’s hand, while Joe and Phil were talking to a man Steve didn’t recognize.

“Oh God, Steve!” Karla gasped, pulling him in close to her for an unexpected hug. As soon as she moved from his direct line of sight, he finally saw Sav laying very still on his bed. Steve had never seen Sav’s skin so pale before. It looked almost blue from what Steve could see.

“What’s going on?” Steve asked in confusion.

“Sav was so upset last night when he couldn’t find Trish, well, he got drunk, BIG TIME,” Joe said as he walked over and put his hand on his girlfriend’s shoulder. “He, um, well, he almost gave himself alcohol poisoning. The doctor’s going to stay with him and make sure he doesn’t get into any trouble, health-wise. Meanwhile, I’ve got to go find Trish.”

“That could be pretty hard,” Steve sighed. “She called him a few minutes ago, and when a woman answered, she flew completely off the handle, then took off.”

“Oh, shit,” Jacki said quickly as she jumped up from her chair. “I was the one that took that call just now! She left because she thought....OH GOD! We’ve got to find her!”

Jacki and Phil tore out of the hotel room and headed for the elevator while Steve looked to Joe and asked, “How is he?”

Joe turned to the doctor, who answered, “Well, I think he’s going to be fine, once he sleeps this off. Apparently, he doesn’t drink as much as most of the rock stars I’ve heard of, cuz there’s not as much alcohol in his system as your friends feared. He’ll wake up miserable and probably grouchy as a bear, but not really any worse for wear. Just keep him out of the booze for a few days! Understood?”

“Yes, sir,” Joe said quickly. “Let’s get out of here and let him sleep while we try to find out where the hell my bloody cousin is! Doc, think he’ll be okay if we leave him alone?”

“Yes, he should be fine,” the doctor said quietly. “Rest is the best thing for him right now.”

“Damn good thing we don’t have a gig tonight,” Steve mumbled as Joe pushed him and Karla out of the room. The doctor came out right behind them, closing the door quietly and turning down the hallway away from them.

“Okay, now where the hell would Little Miss Elliott gone?” Joe murmured, deep in thought.

“Shopping?” Karla suggested, trying to be helpful. “Always helps me when I get upset...”

“Doesn’t my wallet know it,” Joe said under his breath as Steve chuckled. Joe looked up, startled that he’d said that out loud. Then he said, “That’s not her style.”

“Fuck,” Steve said quietly. “If I know Trish’s style, she’s probably on the way to being in the same condition as Sav right now.”

“Fuck all,” Joe hissed. “It’d be just like her to try to drown her problems in a bottle. Let’s start hitting all the bars in the area and see if she’s been to any of them yet.”

After two hours of frantic searching, Steve and the others landed on a street with three bars on it. They decided to split up and Joe and Karla took one on one side of the street. Phil and Jacki went into the first one they came to on the opposite side, leaving Steve with the final pub to check out.

Pushing his long blond hair back out of his face, Steve looked around the smoky interior of the bar and at first didn’t see any sign of Trish. When he got further in, he saw a dance floor and wondered if maybe Trish might be out on it. If she’d been drinking, she might just feel good enough to dance. But she wasn’t there either. Steve was just about to give up when his eyes snagged on a couple standing outside the restroom.

The man had a broad back, pretty well hiding the woman he had pinned to the wall. But her shirt was the same color as the one Trish had worn when she left Steve’s room, so he decided to check her out just to be safe. Walking slowly around them, he saw the woman’s long dark disheveled hair hanging in her eyes as she tried drunkenly to get away from the man in front of her. The guy only laughed as his mouth closed down over hers again, his tight grip on her arm too much for her to get out of in her state. Somehow, he’d managed to get one of her arms pinned behind her, leaving him a free hand to run over her curvy figure. As the man broke the kiss, Steve got a look at the girl’s face. Trish.

Without thinking, Steve walked up behind the larger man and said in a commanding voice, “Let go of her.”

“What?” the guy just laughed. “Fuck off, man, this bitch is mine today.”

“Steve!” Trish gasped, her voice a straggled plea.

“I said get your bloody filthy hands off her,” Steve said, a bit more loudly this time.

“And I said ‘Fuck off’, if I’m remembering it just correctly,” the man answered. “This little bitch cock teased the wrong man this time.”

Steve’s grabbed the man’s arm and spun him away from Trish. But he didn’t see the guy’s balled up fist until it landed right across his jaw. Steve went down in a heap as the other man turned and dragged Trish out the back door of the bar.

It took only a second before Steve’s head cleared enough for him to realize Trish was in deep trouble. The logical part of his mind was screaming for him to get the others to back him up. But the part of him that still loved her took over and he was up and running after her as soon as he could gain his feet. He threw the door open and burst out into the filthy alley behind the bar, but he couldn’t see Trish anywhere.

“Trish!” he yelled desperately. A hoarse cry came from just beyond the dumpster to Steve’s right and he tore around it just as the man was attempting to pull Trish’s shirt up.

“Sorry bastard!” Steve hollered as he grabbed the man and spun him around.

Confused, the man just looked at Steve for a moment before he realized that Steve was serious about interfering with him and the woman he held. He pushed Trish down to her knees, then swung his fist at Steve. But this time, Steve was expecting it. Ducking, he came up under the man and punched him hard in the midsection. Unfortunately, the man had drank just enough that he didn’t really feel the pain of the blow. As soon as he regained his balance, the guy threw his full weight at Steve and drove the smaller man to the ground.

“STEVE!” Trish screamed, making her way unsteadily to her feet. The man was on top of Steve, swinging hard at his head as Steve tried to block his blows. Lurching forward, Trish threw her body at the guy and landed on his back ungracefully. It wasn’t much, but she distracted him just enough to give Steve the chance to push the man backwards. Steve landed on top of him and started beating him around his head and shoulders, his rage at what the man had tried to do to Trish. From no where, Steve’s anger at Sav’s treatment of Trish boiled to the front as well. Blow after blow rained down on the man’s head as the fury poured out of Steve.

“God, Steve, STOP!” Trish was screaming just as Joe and Phil rounded the corner. Joe pulled Steve bodily off the now unconscious man while Phil checked to make sure the guy still had a pulse.

“Is he okay?” Trish asked as she swayed into the wall behind her.

“He’ll be fine,” Phil sighed. “He’ll hurt like hell, but he’ll be fine.”

“What the hell happened?” Joe asked Trish crossly.

“I just went in for a couple of drinks,” she mumbled, tears finally breaking her voice at Joe’s angry tone. “But he wouldn’t leave me alone! If Steve hadn’t come in, he would have, would have....OH God!” She slid down the wall as sobs claimed her. Steve moved over to her side, putting his arm around her and pulling her close to him.

“Don’t think about it, luv,” Steve murmured into her hair.

“We’ve got to get her back to Sav,” Joe said quietly.

“Mate, she’s not in any shape to face him right now,” Steve answered, running a gentle hand over Trish’s hair. “We’ll tell him she’s okay and that he can try to talk to her tomorrow.”

“And Sav’s probably still pretty sick as well,” Phil chimed in. A thought occurred to him suddenly and he turned back to Steve. “Where was she last night, anyway?”

“In my room, drunk off her ass,” Steve sighed.

“Your room?” Phil said suspiciously, his eyebrow suddenly arched in concern.

“It was the only way I could keep her from heading straight out of town and out of his life,” Steve answered quickly. “I got her to sleep and when she woke up this morning, she tried to call him. But Jacki answered the phone and she flew off the deep end.”

Phil nodded thoughtfully, though Joe accepted Steve’s words without any further explanation. But Phil knew just how much Trish meant to Steve. Joe didn’t. Phil watched his friend gently pull Trish up to her feet and put his arm around her. Then he noticed the man who’d attacked Trish starting to move a little bit.

“Come on, let’s get her out of here before he comes to,” Joe said quickly as he saw the man’s eyes start to flutter. “Last thing we need right now is the cops pounding on the bus door on our way out of town!”

They got Trish out of the alley and walked slowly to where Karla and Jacki were still waiting out front. The group walked quietly up the street and saw several police cars come flying towards the bar they’d just left. Most of the officers went into the bar, but a few started gathering the people who were out on the street where Steve, Trish and the others were.

“Excuse me, sir?” one of the officers said quickly as he caught sight of Steve‘s swollen eye. “Can I have a word with you?”

“Um, sure,” Steve said uncertainly.

“We just got a report of a man being beaten here, know anything about it?” the policeman said as he examined Steve for any other signs of a fight.

“No, sir,” Steve answered quickly.

“How’d you get that black eye?”

“I had an accident at the hotel we’re staying at,” Steve answered, looking to Phil for back up.

“Yeah, mate, our Steve is the clumsiest son of a bitch you’ll ever meet!” Phil chuckled.

The policeman looked at Trish standing next to Steve, her unsteady and nearly unconscious form leaning heavily on him, and said, “Is she okay?”

“Just a bit much to drink, that’s all,” Joe laughed. “We really need to get her back to the hotel.”

The officer looked at his watch, noting it read only one p.m., then said, “A bit early to be hitting the booze, isn’t it?”

“She had a fight with her boyfriend,” Steve answered, pulling Trish closer into him as she swayed on her feet.

“Can we please get her back to her room?” Karla pleaded, not knowing anything yet about Steve’s fight behind the bar.

“Well, I’ll let you take her back, but this gentleman,” he said, putting a gentle hand on Steve’s shoulder, “Will have to stay here til we get this cleared up. Just to make sure he wasn’t involved. The rest of you are free to go.”

Phil turned to Joe and said, “I’ll stay here with Steve, you take care of Trish.”

“Put her in my room again, mate,” Steve said quickly, handing Joe his room key. “Somehow, I don’t think she’s in any shape to deal with Sav right now.”

Looking down at Trish thoughtfully, Joe sighed and said, “Yeah, I guess you’re right. We’ll take care of her, Phil, you take care of him.”

“Will do,” Phil said quietly, wondering just how much trouble Steve was going to get in over this. Steve sat down on a stoop in front of the bar and watched Joe and the girls manhandle Trish back into their rented car. Then he looked at Phil and said softly, “Well, this tour may end up on hold for a bit.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Phil answered. “I’m sure Peter will take care of everything.” They stayed there for what seemed like forever before the police officer came back over and said, “Well, you’re free to go.”

“Oh, really?” Steve asked innocently. “What exactly happened?”

“Um, well, this guy says he walked out into the alley with a girl, only she took off with someone else,” the officer explained. “Then, he claims a gang of young punks, I think he said six of them, beat him up just for looking at them. So, you’re off the hook.”

“Thank you, sir,” Phil said quickly, grabbing Steve by the arm and pulling him down the street.

“SIX guys?” Steve laughed incredibly. “Sorry, but I didn’t hurt him that bad...”

“I’m sure it felt like six guys, Steve,” Phil answered quietly. “I saw the way you were beating him up.”

“But six? Come on, how could one man do the damage of six?” Steve said with a laugh.

“One man defending the woman he loves can do a lot of things,” Phil said, turning to face Steve. Steve stopped dead in his tracks, his head hanging down as he heard what Phil said.

“I’m not in love with her, she’s Sav’s girl,” Steve said, looking intently down at his loafers.

“That doesn’t change how YOU feel,” Phil said, still watching his best friend’s face. “Clark, I know you too fucking well to think you’re not in love with her.

“It doesn’t really matter now, does it?” Steve asked quietly. “Like I said, she’s Sav’s girl.”

“Just be honest with yourself, that’s all I’m saying,” Phil answered softly.

“Phil, I’ve been honest with myself about her since I was eighteen years old,” Steve whispered. “But it doesn’t change a thing. She made her decision. She’s with one of my best friends. I can’t get in the middle of that, no matter how much I love her.”

“Is it a good idea to have her in your room, knowing that?” Phil said quietly.

“She’s my friend, more than anything now,” Steve answered quickly. “I’m not going to get in between them, no matter what. But she’s hurting right now, so by God, I’m going to be there for her and help her through this.”

“What about Sav?” Phil whispered.

“He’s my friend, too,” Steve said softly. “She’s good for him, so I’m going to try to keep them together.” He stared down at the sidewalk as he whispered, “No matter how I feel.”

Phil put a hand on Steve’s shoulder as he said, “I know this can’t be easy for you, mate. But I’m glad you’re handling it this way.”

“You know, Phil, I really just don’t want to talk about it anymore,” Steve said as he looked away.

With a nod of his head, Phil turned towards the street and hailed them a cab. The ride back to the hotel was silent, each man lost in his own thoughts. Phil worried whether Steve would be able to carry out the fine words he’d just spoken. He knew Steve meant every word of it, but could Steve really not step in between them?

Steve closed his eyes and leaned back into the seat, his conversation with Phil bringing back memories of the night before. It had taken every bit of his self control to resist what Trish had tried to do. The only thing that had really stopped him was the fact that he knew Trish didn’t want him. She’d only been angry with Sav for cheating on her. And sleeping with her under those circumstances would have destroyed her relationship with Sav and wiped out any hope of Trish remaining friends with Steve. He just couldn’t lose her from his life for one night of passion.

As the taxi pulled up in front of the hotel, they noticed their tour buses pulled up in the front of the building. Since they weren’t supposed to leave until much later that night, both of them were confused until Peter walked up and said to Steve, “Thanks to your little brawl, I’m thinking it’s a good thing to get you out of town before someone decides to point a finger your direction.”

“I’m sorry,” Steve mumbled. “I just couldn’t let him hurt her...”

“Don’t worry about it,” Peter said crossly. “Maybe you guys had it coming with what you’ve been doing under that stage every night. I should have put the brakes on before it came to this.” Peter walked away shaking his head as Joe came out of Steve, Phil and Rick’s bus.

“Okay, I’ve got Trish stashed on your bus for now,” Joe told them quickly. “Now we’ve just got to get Sav down here without him causing a scene!”

“I’ll go up with you,” Steve volunteered. “If he starts asking about Trish, at least I’ll be able to tell him where she is now. Last night, she’d have killed me for it!”

Just as they made their way into the lobby of the hotel, Joe and Steve saw Sav coming off the elevator being supported by Rick and his brother. As soon as Sav saw Joe, he lurched towards him and yelled, “Where’s my baby? Where Trish go last night?”

Steve stepped forward and said, “Mate, she stayed with me last night.”

“You sorry fuck!” Sav slurred as he tried to reach for Steve. “Leave her alone!”

Moving back, Steve threw his hands in the air and said, “I kept her from going back to England, that’s all.”

Sav considered him unsteadily, then nodded his head. “K, but where is she?”

“She’s on my bus for now,” Steve explained. “Neither of you is in any shape to try to talk right now.”

“You take care of her, Steve,” Sav said quietly, throwing his arm over Steve’s shoulders. “I know you’re a good....friend.”

“I will,” Steve assured him. “Now, let’s get you tucked into your bunk for the ride, okay?”

“Sure.”

Steve, Joe and Rick helped Sav into his bus, then Steve headed to his own place in the second bus. It had been a rough day so far, so Steve planned on trying to get some sleep. But before he could turn in, he stopped by Trish’s bed, just to check on her. She was sleeping soundly, so he just ran his hand over her hair before letting the curtain fall back into place between them. Then he slipped quietly into his own bunk and pulled his drape shut behind him.

Three hours later, Steve woke as the bus came to a slow halt in front of their next hotel. For a moment, things were pretty fuzzy in his brain. Then he remembered what had happened that morning and quickly made his way to Trish’s bunk. She was just starting to come around, the alcohol finally making it’s slow way out of her system. As soon as she looked up at Steve, the events of the past day came crashing down on her and she burst into tears.

Pulling her quickly into his arms, Steve ran his hand over her hair and whispered, “It’s all right, luv. Things will get better soon, I swear it!”

“Oh, God, Steve,” she gasped. “He had someone else with him last night, after...after...please, help me get back to England, Steve! I can’t let him get away with this anymore!”

“Trish, luv, the woman that answered the phone this morning was Jacki,” he answered softly. “Sav was so upset last night, well, he drank himself half to death before he passed out. He was so afraid he’d lost you, he couldn’t stand it anymore.”

“Jacki?” she said, his words cutting through the haze in her mind. “She was in his room this morning?”

“Yes. Her and Phil and Joe and Karla. Plus the hotel doctor,” Steve said quietly. “Come on, let’s get up front and we’ll talk there, okay?”

He pulled her gently to her feet, then led her by the hand to the living area of the bus. Sitting down on the couch, Steve let her lay beside him and rest her head on his leg as he said, “Were you ready to forgive him before you heard Jacki on the phone?”

“I don’t know,” she whispered. “I was ready to talk to him, but I don’t know if I can forgive him for what he’s been doing all this time. At least, not yet. But right now, I just don’t think I can even face him.”

“Are you sure you want to handle it this way?” Steve asked quietly. “I mean, last night, he drank so much he was really close to alcohol poisoning all from missing you. Can’t you at least just talk to him?”

At just that second, Sav burst onto the bus. He stared down at Trish, his eyes filled with fear. Throwing himself down beside the couch, he tried to take her hands into his but she pulled away. “Trish?” he whispered as she turned her body around and buried her face in Steve’s stomach. “Baby, please! Talk to me!”

She shook her head, putting her hands up on over her head. Looking up to Steve for support, Sav found his friend staring down at her in disbelief.

Steve’s hand went to her arm, gently lowering it away from her face. Then he turned her face up to his and whispered, “Give him a chance, luv. That’s all I’m asking.”

“Why?” she murmured. “He cheated on me, Steve! How am I supposed to take that? Just sit back and say, ‘oh well, shit happens’?”

“No, but you can’t turn your back on him this way,” Steve pleaded. “Just hear him out, then if you still want to leave, I’ll get you on a plane tonight. Deal?”

“OH God, baby, please don’t leave me,” Sav begged. “I’m so bloody fucking sorry for what I did! You’ve got to believe me!”

“But I don’t,” she whispered, curling into a ball in Steve’s lap. Sav reached for her, trying to get her to face him one time. But the pain around her heart wouldn’t even let her look at him once.

“Let me talk to her alone, mate,” Steve said quietly. “Just head out of here and give me some time, okay?”

“Thanks, Steve,” Sav answered, still staring down at the woman in Steve’s arms. “Thanks for trying, at least.” Then Sav turned and walked heartbrokenly off the bus. It was late evening, so he headed into the hotel bar for a drink. But he ran into Joe, who made him go to his room instead. An hour later, he heard a soft knock on his door. He bolted over and threw it open, hoping it was Trish.

“Steve,” he murmured disappointedly as he leaned against the doorway. Steve looked at him with pity in his eyes and said, “She won’t talk to you tonight, mate. But I think by tomorrow, she should be ready to face what’s going on and see you.”

“Where is she?” Sav asked quickly, looking around the hallway in hopes of seeing her.

“She’s going to stay on the bus tonight,” Steve answered quietly. “My guitar tech is going to stay with her, just to keep her out of trouble.”

“Malvin?” Sav asked.

“Yeah, he’ll baby-sit Trish for tonight, but tomorrow, you’re on your own,” Steve said quietly.

“Thanks for all your help with this, Steve,” Sav whispered.

“Just don’t hurt her again,” Steve said quietly as he turned and made his way slowly to his own room. Sav watched him go, confused as to why Steve was so upset with him. Steve had been under that stage right along with him, so how could he suddenly get all self righteous about those girls? But as he thought about it, he realized that lately Steve really hadn’t had much to do with the women under the stage. The only thing he could remember seeing Steve do under the stage was drink. With a sad shake of his head, Sav went back into the room and laid down on the bed. Thoughts of Trish leaving haunted him all night as he tried to sleep.

The next morning, Sav walked slowly down to the bus where Trish had slept. Malvin met him just before he could get on the bus and pulled him off to the side, saying, “Look out, Sav. She’s not in a good mood.”

“I’ve faced her bad moods before,” Sav said dismissively.

“Not like this, mate,” Malvin answered before letting him head back towards the bus.

As soon as he got to the open door of the bus, he could hear music pouring out of it. And he could hear Trish screaming along with the lyrics, the pain in her voice obvious to anyone who knew her.

“What in the world did I do to deserve you

I don’t understand why you treat me that way

You knew you were everything I ever wanted

And you had your own ways of making me pay

Then you took it just a little to far

Now I see you for what you are

And I don’t need the heartache anymore

Loving you was an endless fight

I was wrong and you were always right

But look what happened when I called your bluff

When the truth comes out

You ain’t so tough

You turned me into an emotional prisoner

And hit me words that cut to the bone

Then you kissed me and made me believe that I needed you

And think I could never survive on my own...”

He couldn’t take any more of this verbal assault. Between the fierce vocals that Ann Wilson put into the song and Trish’s own pain filled cries, his heart was shredding in his chest. Walking slowly over to the stereo, he hit stop and the “Bad Animals” tape quickly snapped off.

Even before he spoke, Trish knew who’d come onto the bus. She hadn’t even seen him when she said in a flat voice, “Rick, get out of here.”

“Please, Trish!” he pleaded. “Just let me talk to you!”

“So you can say what? I’m sorry? It’s not going to be that easy, Rick,” she hissed. “We’re not talking about some little one night stand here. You’ve been cheating on me during this whole fucking tour. Seventeen months so far. Well, maybe not during that first month, when I was here with you. Then again, how would I have fucking known? I wasn’t under that fucking stage, now was I?”

“Baby, it was nothing!” he cried as she turned to face him. Then he saw how icy her green eyed stare was. Her expression was completely frozen in a mask of near hatred. He took a step back as she stood up. There’d never been a moment when he’d seen her this angry before now.

“Nothing, huh?” she whispered in a frosty voice. “If it was nothing, then why, Richard? Why did you betray me like that? Night after night. Different women in every town. God only knows how many there’ve been, right? A hundred? Two hundred?” He stood mute as she hissed, “You disgust me, Rick. I’m leaving you.”

“Please, Trish, I’ll do anything to make it up to you, I swear!” he begged. “You’re the only one I love!”

“Maybe you should have thought of that before you let some groupie get in your pants, Rick,” she whispered, the composure she’d held on to so tightly finally starting to break. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she looked away from him. A moment later, sobs ripped from deep in her chest as she ran to the bunk where she’d slept the night before. Sav was just a step behind her as she pulled the curtain shut.

He whipped the curtain back, desperate to keep her from shutting him out. Falling to his knees, he whispered, “Trish, I don’t have any excuse for what I did. I know that. But you can’t leave me! I know you love me. And that I love you!”

“I thought you did,” she whispered through her tears. “But maybe I was wrong...”

“Trish, not one of those women meant anything to me,” he said quietly. “The only woman who I care about is you. Those girls? It was like a game. Who’d do the most outrageous thing to get our attention. It was flattering. But they didn’t want Rick, the bloke from Sheffield. They wanted the rock star. Sav. I wasn’t any more real to them than they were to me. There’s only one woman who’s face haunted me when I went to sleep every night. You. You’ve got to believe me, baby. There’s only one woman in my life who really cares about me and only one I really care about. No one else could ever get in the middle of that.”

“How could you do that to me?” she whimpered.

“Because I’m a stupid, thoughtless, juvenile idiot who didn’t see what meant the most to him in the world til he almost lost it,” he answered softly. “I let myself believe the shit everyone else thought about us. I was wrong. Can you ever forgive me for that?”

Letting out a long sigh, Trish looked into his blue eyes and said, “I don’t know, Rick.”

“Can you at least try?” he pleaded. “I really don’t want to lose you. You mean more to me than all the rest of the women in the world.”

She nodded slowly, letting him finally pull her into his arms. Then she heard him whisper, “After last night, I was afraid I’d never get to hold you again, luv. I think that’s when I really realized just what I was losing. I love you, Trish.”

“How can I ever trust you again, Rick?” she asked quietly.

“I don’t know, but I’ll do whatever it takes to get your trust back,” he said honestly. “I swear it. Just give me time to make things right, okay?”

“Okay.”

He held her for a long time before finally taking her by the hand and leading her into the hotel to get ready for the night’s show. They ran into Steve as they got off the elevator and Steve looked at Trish uncertainly, asking, “Are you okay, now?”

“I’m not sure, yet,” she answered softly. Then she looked up at Sav and said, “We’ll see, won’t we?”

“I’m sure you’re going to be fine,” Sav said confidently.

“She better be,” Steve murmured as he walked away. Sav shot him a puzzled look, then turned his attention back to Trish. “What’s up with him?”

“Steve’s my friend and I think he just worries about me, that’s all,” Trish answered quietly. “I can’t say I wouldn’t be worried about a friend in this situation.”

“He doesn’t have anything to worry about, trust me,” Sav reassured her, pulling her gently into his arms. “And neither do you.” He kissed her forehead, then leaned back and said, “I’ve got something to ask you, Trish. I know your job means a lot to you, but I really want you to stay with me from now on. Could you possibly think about quitting it and staying here with me for good?”

“Rick, what am I supposed to do with myself while you’re off in the studio?” she asked quietly, looking away from him. “I can’t just sit around and do nothing all day...”

“Maybe I can give you something else to keep you occupied,” Sav answered softly. “I know we’ve never talked about it before, but what would you think of us finally starting something, well, a little more geared towards the future?” At her puzzled stare, he looked away for a second, then gathered his determination and asked, “I want a family, Trish. We’ve been together for how many years, living one day at a time. I want us to have something more than that. What would you think of having a baby?”

She pulled back from him, stunned at what he’d just ask her. Looking down at the floor, she said, “Rick, this really isn’t the time for us to be talking about it. Right now, I don’t even know if we’ll still be together in a month.”

“We will,” he interrupted.

“Come on!” she said in an annoyed voice. “I just found out you’ve been cheating on me for a long time, Rick! You may think you know what’s going to happen, but I’m not so sure. This just isn’t the time to be thinking about having kids.”

“Trish,” he said, gathering her hands in his own. “I want us to get passed this. I never want to lose you. I swear to you, I’ll never touch another woman again...”

“That didn’t seem to be the problem,” she answered crossly. “Them touching YOU was.”

“Never again,” he replied quietly. “I’m not going to take the chance of messing us up again. I’m yours, if you’ll have me still.”

“I want to believe you, Rick,” she sighed. “Really, I do. But only time will tell us if we can make it. Do you understand that?”

“I do,” he whispered.

“Then let’s hold off on all this talk of having kids until we see what’s going to happen next, okay?” she asked softly.

“Will you at least consider giving up on the castle then?” he said quietly.

“Yeah, I’ll think about it,” she said, finally letting him put his arm around her again. “I’ll think about it over the next few days and let you know what I decide.”

“I guess that’s all I can ask for,” he answered quietly. They’d made it back to the room where Sav had slept alone the night before and Sav gathered up his things for the trip to the next venue. They were leaving straight from the arena after the show, so all of them had to be ready to go. Trish just sat on the bed and watched him, lost in her own thoughts. How would she ever be able to trust him again, she wondered. Yet he seemed so determined at that moment to make things right for her again. Even starting to talk of them having a family, which completely threw Trish off guard. Maybe he really did mean it. At least, she could let herself hope. Couldn’t she?

During the show that night, Trish slipped down into the under stage area, followed silently by Jacki. Both of them wondered if their men could keep to all the fine words they’d heard in the last two days. They hid in the shadows and watched as the roadies brought down the usual bevy of willing beauties. As soon as Sav, Steve and Phil walked down the stairs, half the women peeled off their shirts and headed straight for them. Steve walked right past them, not interested in the least in what they had to offer him. He flopped down into a chair and asked one of the roadies to get him a bottle of whiskey.

Two of the girls headed up to Phil, rubbing themselves against him with wanton abandon. Three others climbed all over Sav, moving hands up and down his body. Silent tears ran down Trish’s face as she realized he wasn’t going to do a thing to stop them. Jacki put her arm over Trish’s shoulders and Trish looked up to see her face running with tears as well. Jacki pulled at Trish’s arm, trying to get her to leave her place in the metal jungle under the stage. But Trish wouldn’t move. She was too stunned by what she was seeing. It was time to leave and go back to Ireland, she thought helplessly.

Then, just as she was about to give in to Jacki’s insistent tug, Sav pulled away from the women who surrounded him. After kissing each of the women gently on the forehead, he walked across the small area and took the bottle away from Steve. After a long drink, he handed it back and sat down next to him. The women looked at him with puzzled frowns. Two of them had been under the stage before and knew this wasn’t the way it had been the other times. One of them knelt in front of Sav and asked softly, “What’s wrong, baby? Not in the mood tonight?”

Pushing her hands away, he answered quietly, “I’m never going to be in THAT mood again, luv. The few minutes with you birds every night just about cost me the woman I love and I’m not letting that happen again.”

“Oh come on, Sav,” she said with a wicked grin. “How’s she ever going to know anything happened here?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Sav replied, brushing the hair back from the girl’s face. “I love my girlfriend and I’m not letting anything get in the way of that now. I nearly lost her once over this kind of thing and I’m not making that mistake twice.”

Disappointed, the girl tried to put the moves on Steve, only to find him completely uninterested. Turning her attentions to Phil, she suddenly realized that her friends weren’t really getting much of anywhere with him either. The two girls were simply sitting beside him, having a casual chat. He’d even gotten them to both put on their shirts again.

Suddenly angry, the groupie looked at the other girls and said, “Okay, this has got to be the lamest time I’ve EVER had with a rock star! Give me Poison any day!” She looked at Sav in disgust and hissed, “Your girlfriend has you as neutered as my cat!”

“Hardly, luv,” Sav laughed. “Just now I know when to let the animal out to play and when to keep it in a cage.”

“Yeah, right!” she said disdainfully, gathering up the other girls and leaving the three men sitting under the stage alone. Or so they thought. Just as the stage manager was telling them to get their guitars back on, Trish and Jacki stepped into the light. Sav and Phil stared at them, wondering just what the women had seen. Then each of the women walked slowly up to their chosen man and kissed him gently on the cheek before turning and silently making their way out of the small enclosure.

Sav and Phil exchanged stunned looks as Steve grinned and made his way back up onto the stage. Leave it to Trish to put Sav to the test the very next night, he thought with an inner chuckle. Sav and Phil both looked a little stunned as they came back on the stage and Joe shot them a puzzled glance.

As soon as the show ended, Steve caught Joe and Rick up on what they’d missed, while Phil stormed off to confront Jacki. He was really pissed off at the idea she’d been checking up on him and wanted to let her know it. Sav was much calmer. Though he hadn’t expected Trish to be under the stage that night, he was glad she had been. She’d seen first hand that he’d meant every one of his promises to her. As he made his way into the locker room, he heard Phil yelling at Jacki and just shook his head. Walking up behind his guitarist, he whispered, “What’d you think she was going to do, mate? Take your word on it?”

“That’s bloody right!” Phil screamed, turning on Sav. “How can you defend them spying on us?”

“Because I happen to think they had every right to check up on us,” Sav answered quietly, earning an appreciative stare from Jacki and Karla. “Wouldn’t you, in their shoes?”

Flustering and blustering, Phil grudgingly replied that he probably would have done the same. So as Sav headed into the showers, he heard Phil apologizing to Jacki far more quietly than he been before. But he wondered just where Trish had hidden herself during the whole episode. Showering quickly, Sav went into the catering room and found that Trish wasn’t there either. Disappointed, he greeted the few fans who’d made it backstage, then decided to look for Joe. Unfortunately, Joe hadn’t seen her either. Soon, the tour manager was gathering the men up and shooing them off to the waiting limos for the ride to the airport. Panicked, Sav tried to search everywhere for Trish before he was dragged up to the cars.

“Come on, man, I’ve gotta find my girlfriend before we leave her behind!” Sav yelled as he was pushed toward the vehicle. The manager opened the door and said, “I’ll find her! You get in this car before I have to lock you in!”

“You better fucking find her!” Sav hissed.

“Sav?” came a soft voice from inside the car. Sav’s head spun around and he found himself staring into Trish’s sleepy eyes.

“God, luv!” he gasped as he quickly slid in beside her. “Why’d you leave me like that?”

“I was tired, but I didn’t want to get left behind,” she yawned as Joe and Karla got into the car behind him. “So I figured I’d come out here and get some sleep while I waited for you. I told the tour manager where I’d be!”

“That sorry bastard,” Sav said with a soft laugh. “He let me look all over for you!”

“Probably thought it served you right after what you’d done to her,” Joe mumbled. Karla jammed her elbow into Joe’s ribs, but Sav just nodded and said, “Yeah, you’re probably right, mate.”

Sav slipped his arm around Trish’s shoulders and said, “Next time, luv, tell ME you’re heading out. Okay?”

“Sure,” she said quietly as she snuggled down against his shoulder. Even as uncertain as she was of their relationship at that moment, being next to his body was the one place she felt truly safe as she drifted off to sleep.

Over the remaining weeks of the tour, Trish stayed with Sav even though they were still estranged from each other to a degree. They slept in the same bed every night, but Trish still wasn’t ready to trust him enough to resume their intimate relationship. In order to prove his love for her, Sav abided by her decisions and refused to push the issue. All he could hope was that once they’d returned to Ireland, he’d be able to win her trust and love once again.

After the last show of the tour, Trish walked into the dressing room to find Steve staring blankly at a wall. Going over to his side, she put her hand on his shoulder and whispered, “Steve, are you okay?”

He didn’t answer her, just kept looking at the wall in front of him. Kneeling in front of him, she put her hand on his cheek and said, “Steve? What’s wrong?”

Turning away from her, he mumbled, “Don’t worry about it....It’s nothing.”

“It doesn’t look like nothing, luv,” she said softly. “Please, tell me what’s going on?”

“She’s left me,” he murmured.

“Who?”

“Lorelei,” he answered as tears started down his face.

“Oh, God, I’m so sorry!” she said quietly, pulling him into her arms and letting him release his pent up sorrow. “Did she say why?”

“We just couldn’t make it work anymore,” he replied softly. “It seemed like all she wanted to do was bitch about my drinking. I told her I just couldn’t stand that anymore, so she said maybe I just couldn’t stand HER anymore.” Moving back from her, he looked into her eyes and said, “You know what the saddest thing was? There was no fight, no yelling. She just very quietly said that this was what needed to happen, that there was no way around it.”

“She wasn’t angry?”

“No, she was really so damn friendly and well, almost business like about it,” he whispered in a baffled tone. “Like she’d completely gotten over it already.”

“Maybe she’s just been thinking about it for a long time, luv,” Trish said quietly. “It may have caught you off guard, but she obviously knew what she had to do...” Running her hand over his hair, she said gently, “Maybe it was the best thing for both of you, Steve. You’ve told me before how many problems the two of you have had in the past.”

“But I’m all alone now...” he said forlornly, tears forming in his beautiful eyes again. “I don’t want to be alone, Trish...”

“I’m sure you won’t be for long, luv,” she whispered with a smile. “You’re too sweet of a man for any woman to leave on his own for long, trust me.”

“If you and Sav weren’t...” Steve couldn’t finish the thought, though Trish knew exactly what he was thinking.

“I’d snap you up in a heartbeat if Sav and I weren’t together anymore,” she said with a grin. “But, unfortunately for me, I’m not single anymore, so I have to watch you find some young beauty queen to take you on in my place.”

“She’ll never be as beautiful as you...” Steve said quietly, then turned away from her just as Sav walked up to them. Giving Trish a quick kiss, his eyes caught the expression on Steve’s face and he asked quickly, “What’s wrong, mate?”

“Lorelei left me,” Steve said sadly, though he’d managed to pull himself together a bit after talking to Trish.

“I’m sorry to hear that, Steve,” Sav answered softly as his arm came to rest on Trish’s shoulders. “Did you two have a fight or something?”

“No, she was just done with me,” Steve sighed. “Maybe I deserved it. I mean, what kind of life was she going to have with me anyway? Always wondering when I’d get drunk again and hating every second of it?” Never knowing who I’m really in love with? Steve thought to himself. No, Lorelei was right about one thing. They never would have been able to stay together forever because he’d never been able to get over Trish. He watched as Trish got up and walked across the room, bringing back a bottle of Scotch with her. She took a long, hard belt, then handed it over to Steve and said, “This is one night no one will even notice if you drink. Besides, it’s the end of the tour. Everybody will be expecting it!”

Steve took a long hit of the alcohol, then felt Trish grab him by the arm. “You’re going to the tour party with us, luv,” she said with a smile. Though Sav wanted to protest, somehow he knew that this just wasn’t the time to cross Trish. Steve was probably one of the best friends she had and there was no getting between them. So he let her drag Steve out to the limo and slid in behind her. The two of them passed the bottle back and forth the whole trip, while Sav watched in dismay. Trish and Steve were already buzzing by the time their car pulled up in front of the pub, while Phil and Sav just looked on. Rick would grab the bottle for the occasional drink as well. But Steve didn’t tell Phil or Rick why he was drinking.

Once they reached the bar of the hotel, they took a seat close to the back and waited for Karla, Jackie, Joe and Stacey to show up. Sav and Phil kept the fans that showed up busy while Trish and Steve just drank themselves silly. Joe had just shown up when one of the fans put money in the juke box and played Animal. Trish burst into an uncontrollable fit of laughter and even Steve looked at her like she’d lost her mind.

“What’s so bleeding funny, woman?” Steve asked in half a giggle.

“Pops!” she said between laughs, making everyone stared at her even more.

“Pops?” Sav asked in confusion.

“This song always reminds me of you guys doing Top of the Pops!” she giggled and suddenly Steve started laughing as well as he finally followed her train of thought. The rest of the group just looked on, totally baffled by what they thought was so funny.

“You and your bloody bet, Collen!” Steve chuckled.

“Oh shit, I’d fucking forgot that!” Phil said, joining in on the laughter.

“Okay, mind filling the rest of us in?” Joe asked.

“His hips!” Trish said, laughing so hard that tears rolled down her cheeks. “And that grin afterwards! Oh, my God! You looked like a naughty little boy with that grin!”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Sav asked, still confused.

“Show ’em, luv!” Trish chuckled.

Steve looked around, not quite sure where to demonstrate just what he’d done. Finally, trying to make sure he didn’t fall on his face, Steve jumped up on the table top and started to play air guitar just as the solo came on. Trish started to clap and yell, “Here he goes!”

“It went like this,” Steve said, waiting til just the right moment before pantomiming holding up his guitar above his head and thrusting his hips as far out as he could. The whole bar was in an uproar, with several of their fans joining in on the laughter while Steve tried to keep his balance and climb down from the table. But the bottle of Scotch he’d been sharing with Trish took it’s toll and he started to fall. Trish reached out to catch him, but he was just too heavy and landed on her with a dull thud, knocking her to the floor with him. They laid there in a tangled mess of long legs and thrashing arms as both of them practically laughed themselves sick.

Phil grabbed Steve and said in concern, “Are you okay, matey?”

“I’m fine!” Steve chuckled, the laughter finally starting to subside.

“Trish, I think it’s time to head to our room,” Sav sighed, worried that she’d drank way too much that night.

“Um, okay,” Trish slurred. “Steve, you ready to go to bed yet?”

“Sure!” Steve said after a moment’s thought. He and Trish got up and supported each other as they swayed out of the bar with Sav following behind to keep them out of trouble. When they reached their hotel rooms, Steve couldn’t even get his key into the lock to open his. Sav had already opened their door and Trish just laughed and said, “Eh, come stay in our room tonight. Sav won’t mind.”

“Trish, I can open his room,” Sav said quickly.

She pulled Sav off to the side and said in a barely sober whisper, “I don’t want him to be alone tonight, luv. He might end up in a lot worse trouble if he’s alone when he sobers up.”

“God, I forgot all about that,” Sav said quietly. “You’re right. And I’m sorry, luv.” Turning back to Steve, he said, “Come on, mate. Call it a sleep over.”

“Ya sure?” Steve said in a slur.

“Yeah, we’ll have a party of our own,” Trish said, forcing a smile to stay on her face. No matter how much she’d been drinking, she was still worried about Steve. Let him have this one night of forgetfulness, she thought. He can deal with losing Lor once the pain had dulled a bit. Pulling him into the room behind her, she giggled again as she lost her balance and fell on the bed. Steve landed on top of her once again and both of them laid there in exhausted giggles for a long moment. Then Sav realized that only one of them was laughing. Steve had passed out laying on Trish’s body.

“What are we going to do with him now?” Sav asked her as he freed her from Steve’s long limbs.

“Move him to one side of the bed and we’ll take the other side,” she said sleepily.

Remembering the last time the three of them had been in the same bed, Sav balked for a moment. “That’s not a good idea, luv.”

“We’re going to sleep, Sav,” she answered impatiently. “You don’t like it, you can always go to his room to sleep, can’t you?”

Once again realizing that Trish wouldn’t budge on this issue, Sav let out a sigh and said, “Okay. We’ll do this your way tonight.”

“Good, cuz I’m ready to sleep NOW,” she yawned. Sliding back in the bed, she straighten Steve out and then laid down with her back to him. She patted the bed beside her and said, “Come on, baby. Let’s get to sleep, please?”

“You go ahead, I’ll be there in a few minutes,” Sav said quietly.

Still to drunk to realize Sav was upset, Trish shrugged it off and curled up in the bed. Her back was up against Steve’s so that Sav had enough room to lay down with them. She was snoring softly within a couple of minutes as Sav sat down and watched the pair on the bed. For a long while, he stared at the woman he loved and wondered if things were ever going to be the same between them. He knew he still loved her, but how was she feeling? Torn by uncertainly, Sav finally decided to give up and just try to sleep. Crawling in beside her, he looked down at her sleeping face and prayed that somehow, someday, she’d be able to forgive him.

As soon as Trish felt him settling into bed, she reached out and put her arms around him, sighing, “I love you, Sav.”

Sav’s heart surged. Even in her current state, she still said she loved him. There had to be hope for him after all. Pulling her close to his body, he murmured, “I love you, too, baby.” Trish’s head settled down against his chest and she was sleeping soundly again in only a few seconds. Feeling her so close to him, Sav was finally able to put his mind at rest and let himself sleep as well.

Steve woke the next morning with a warm female body in his arms. For a long minute, he thought it was Lorelei. But the hair against his cheek was far too long to be her. After straining to think for a bit, his hung over brain finally remembered the night before. This was Trish. Looking down her body, he could see Sav’s arms wrapped around her torso and let out a sigh. It was time to leave them alone, he thought. Tears started to gather as he remembered WHY he was in their bed to begin with. Lor was gone and he was alone again. Just like he’d been when Trish had left him. How the hell was he going to manage on his own, he wondered.

Sav felt the shift in the bed as Steve clumsily tried to get out without waking them. Looking up over Trish, he said softly, “Are you going to be okay, mate?”

“Yeah, I’ll live,” Steve murmured absently.

“Yeah, you will,” Sav said confidently, not knowing the self doubt that was already eating away at Steve.

Brushing away his tears before Sav could see them, he said, “Thanks for letting me stay here last night. I don’t know how I would have done alone...”

“That’s okay,” Sav said quietly. “Trish wouldn’t have had it any other way.”

“She’s a sweet woman,” Steve sighed.

“You’re damn well right about that,” Sav said, smiling down at the woman in his arms. “She means everything to me, mate.”

Nodding silently, Steve wanted so badly to tell him how much she meant to him as well. But he couldn’t. All he could say without causing a scene was, “Yeah, she’s been a really good friend to me, I know that. Sometimes, I don’t know what I’d do without her...”

“I know that feeling, Steve,” Sav answered softly.

“Well, I’d best get to my room,” Steve sighed. “Malvin will be looking for me soon for my flight.”

“You’re not going back to England?” Sav asked in surprise.

“Nah, I’ve got some friends in New York that I promised I’d visit,” Steve said slowly.

“What about your Mum and Dad?”

“I’ll get there eventually, just no sense in crossing the Atlantic too many times,” he answered. “I’ll see you all in a couple of weeks, okay?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Sav said, then watched as Steve turned and left the room. Trish woke at the sound of the door closing and looked around in confusion. “Where’s Steve?”

“He went to his room, luv,” Sav said, snuggling down against her.

“But, Sav, I’m so worried about him,” she said quickly. She started to pull away and Sav let out a long sigh as he released her.

“He’s got to do this on his own, Trish,” he said patiently. “You can’t coddle him forever like a child.”

“You just don’t understand him, Sav,” she said angrily. “He’s a very...vulnerable man. He always has been and probably always will be. Losing Lor is going to be hard on him for a long while.” She jumped up out of bed and was headed for the door when Sav asked, “Are you ever going to care about me as much as you do him?”

“That’s not fair, Rick,” she said defensively. “You know, I’ve been with you for how many years now when I could have walked right across that fucking hall if I’d wanted to be with Steve. And I never have, even after you fucking cheated on me night after God damn night! What right do you have to even think of asking me that?”

“I’m sorry,” he said, ashamed he’d brought it up. “I guess, sometimes, I just wish you worried about me as much as you do Steve.”

“You don’t need me to,” she said shortly, then realized she’d made a mistake. “At least, I never feel like you do.”

“Well, you’re wrong,” Sav said sadly. “Sometimes, I need you even more than he does. I just don’t let you see it.’

“Listen, Rick,” she sighed. “I love you. I think I always have. I’m going home with you now that this crazy tour is over. I just want to make sure he’s going to be okay before we leave, that’s all. I’ll be back in just a little while. Wait for me, okay?”

“I’d wait for you forever if that’s what it took,” he answered softly and saw her smile before heading out the door.

Trish knocked on the door of Steve’s room and didn’t get an answer. So she knocked again, even harder this time. “Stephen Clark, I know you’re in there!” she yelled.

“Go away, Trish,” came Steve’s voice and she could hear it was thick with tears.

“Steve, please, let me in,” she answered. “You know I’m not going away.” She heard the lock click, but the door didn’t open. Turning the handle, she pushed her way through the door and found Steve huddled back down on his bed. Moving quickly to his side, Trish knelt down and said, “Steve, luv, you’re going to have to pull yourself together. You’ve got to keep on living even though she’s gone.”

‘I’m just afraid to be alone,” Steve said through his tears.

“You’re never alone, Steve,” she said patiently. “You’ve got your family, you’ve got the band and you know they’d never turn their backs on you. And you’ve got me! I’ll always be there for you, luv.” Running her hand gently over his face, she went on, “Steve, you can make it through this, I swear it!”

“How?” he asked weakly.

“By putting one foot in front of the other and moving on,” she said with a smile. “Now, luv, let’s see that chin up, okay?” Steve nodded and she said, “Now, let me see that smile one more time before I have to get back to my room.”

Looking down at her, Steve gave her a faint smile as she brushed away his tears. There’d be time enough later to think over what had happened the night before. Time when Trish wouldn’t be there to see him falling apart. She leaned down and gave him a brief kiss which caused his smile to widen into something genuine. He pulled her into his arms and whispered, “Thanks, luv.”

“You’ll always be welcome, Steve,” she said with a smile.

“Now scoot back to Sav before he throws a fit,” Steve grinned, though he wasn’t feeling like it.

“He’s already pitching one, but I’ll deal with it,” she smiled up at him. “I just wanted to make sure my buddy was doing okay before I did.”

“Well, I’m living, so get back to him,” Steve insisted. Just then, the phone rang. It turned out to be Malvin, who was telling Steve his flight to New York left in two hours, so he had to get moving.

“Looks like it’s time to fly,” Steve said quietly, giving Trish one more hug.

“Keep your ass out of trouble,” she answered quickly.

“Can’t luv,” he laughed. “If I did, I’d lose my title as a Terror Twin!”

“Just be good,” she sighed as she shook her head. Then, with one last wink and a quick squeeze, she was gone and Steve was regretfully filling the last of his suitcases. A few minutes later, he was on his way to the airport with one last look at the door that hid the love of his life.

Inside that room, Trish and Sav were quietly packing their own bags. Sav would steal an occasional glance in her direction, wondering again how she really felt about him now. For the first time since he’d become a rock star, Sav was having to deal with being insecure about a woman. He just didn’t know where he stood anymore and it was tearing him apart.

Once she was done packing, Trish grabbed her suitcase and started out the door without him. Hurt, he watched her leave without a word to call her back. Unknown to him, she’d been desperate for just that. She leaned against the wall and started to cry, wondering why she was still there. He obviously didn’t REALLY care about her. The only time he showed it was when she paid attention to someone else now. The past few weeks had felt almost cold, sterile as he seemed to avoid being too close to her. Sliding down the wall, Trish let tears wash over her without a thought about who would see her.

Joe picked up his and Karla’s bags and started out of the hotel room. As soon as he hit the hallway, he heard someone crying and looked around. He found Trish sitting on the floor, just outside the room she shared with Sav. Rushing over to her, he said hurriedly, “Trish, God, what’s wrong?”

“I need to go home, Zeff,” she murmured.

“We are, luv,” Joe said, puzzled.

“No, I mean home, Zeff,” she whispered. “I need to get away from Sav, cuz he doesn’t really want me anymore.”

“Bullshit,” Joe said quickly. “Come on, let’s get down to the car and we can talk.”

Leading Trish, he pushed her down to the car and got her inside. Once they settled in, he looked at her and said, “Trish, what the hell has gotten into your head?”

“He didn’t even care that I was leaving without him,” she sniveled. “The only thing that bothers him is when I’m around Steve too much.”

“Fuck all, Trish,” Joe sighed in exasperation. “You know, sometimes I wish I could crack into that thick skull of yours. I’ve heard nothing for the last few weeks but him talking about wanting to get home and have a chance to fix his relationship with YOU, you lunk head! He loves you, he’s just afraid of scaring you away by trying to do things too fast now!”

“But...sometimes...it seems like he doesn’t even want to get close to me,” she whimpered.

“He doesn’t,” Joe said quietly, “because he thinks you don’t want him to.”

“Really?” she asked, her eyes going wide as she realized Joe was probably the one person Sav would have talked to about their problems. “Zeff,” she said uncertainly. “What has he said to you?”

“That he loves you, and never wants to lose you again,” Joe said as the door opened. Karla slid in next to Joe and looked over at Trish curiously.

“What’s wrong?” Karla asked quietly.

“Little Miss Insecurity seems to think her boyfriend is thinking of changing up,” Joe said with half a laugh.

“That’ll be the day,” Karla sighed. “I’ve never seen a man mope about a woman as much as he does about you!”

“What?”

“When he thinks nobody’s watching, he’ll sit and stare at you like you’re the most valuable thing in the world,” Karla said with a dreamy look in her eyes. “He’s really in love with you!”

Wiping her eyes, Trish stared at the two of them and knew they couldn’t be lying to her about this. There wasn’t any reason, if Sav really wanted out. She’d just managed to retouch her make up when Sav got into the car with them and took his seat next to her. Still hurt, he stared out the window until he felt a tentative hand reach for his. He looked down and saw her smaller hand curling around his fingers. Looking up at her in wonder, he gave her an uncertain smile and said nothing. There would be time later to find out what was going through her mind. Time when her cousin wasn’t sitting right there, watching them expectantly.

Trish looked up at him, half afraid to get any closer to him. But Joe gave her a look that said, “Get your ass over there!” so she slid closer to him and let her head rest on his shoulder. Surprised by her sudden change in behavior, Sav wrapped his arm gently around her shoulder and pulled her close to him, kissing her on the forehead. She relaxed into his body as the car started to pull away into the afternoon sunshine.

When they finally landed in Ireland, Joe got them a rental car while Sav just stared at Trish. Karla had followed Joe, so the two of them sat speechless for a long while as they waited. Then, without any warning and just as she spotted Joe and Karla making their way back to them., she leaned up to him and kissed him hard on the mouth. Stunned, Sav just looked at her as Joe said, “Ready to head home, matey?”

“Y..y..yea,” Sav said unsteadily. Giving Trish a shocked smile, he said, “Yeah, I’m ready to get back to the apartment.”

“Okay, then let’s go,” Joe said, wondering just what had happened while he was away. He’d never seen Sav looked so stunned before, while Trish looked as if nothing had happened.

The ride home was quiet as they all looked around the Irish country side like they’d been away for a life time. Joe thought of asking if they wanted to stop at a pub, but decided not to when he saw the Cheshire cat grin on Trish’s face. Good for her, he thought. I’m glad she’s decided to make things work out now.

Dropping them off at the door of their apartment complex, Joe turned the car towards his home in Dalkey. Meanwhile, Sav helped Trish get her things into their place. He watched her closely as she started to put their things away wordlessly. Shaking his head, he went out into the kitchen and got a bottle of water. He was looking out the window into the courtyard when he felt hands moving gently around his waist.

“I’m tired, luv,” Trish whispered into his ear. “Care to join me for a nap to head off any jet lag?”

“Are you sure you want me in there with you?” he said uncertainly.

“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want you there,” she purred. As he turned to face her, she said, “I’m sorry I put you through so much lately, luv.”

“You don’t have to apologize for anything, baby,” he said as he crushed her against his chest. “I’m the one who should start apologizing and never stop.”

“It’s over now, Rick,” she sighed against him, feeling a sudden rush of love for the man in her arms. “Can we just start over?”

“God, I thought you’d never ask that!” he said with a broad grin on his face. “I’ve missed you, luv.”

“I’ve missed you too, Rick,” she answered softly before his mouth captured hers.

“Ready for that nap now, luv?” he asked quietly.

“Mmm, uh huh,” she whispered into his hair.

“Boy, you seem really wiped out,” he said with a smile. “I don’t think you’ll be able to make it to the bed in your condition.”

“I’m fine,” she said in confusion.

“No, you’re not,” he grinned, leaning down and picking her up. “I think you need a bit of help!”

Curling her arms around his neck, she said, “You know, maybe you’re right. I do feel pretty whipped.”

“That’s what I thought,” he murmured, nuzzling into her throat. He walked slowly back to the bedroom, kicking the door open as he went. He laid her gently on the bed and whispered, “What happened to us, Trish? I mean, I know why you were upset, but why’d it take us so long to get passed it? I love you, you love me, right? So why?”

“Because there was a lot of pain and distrust,” she whispered. “But I don’t want to think anymore, baby. I just want to feel again. It’s been so long!”

“I know it has,” he murmured as he leaned over her and kissed her roughly. She pulled him closer to her, her arms wrapping tightly around his neck. His lips trailed down the soft flesh of her neck, nibbling at the delicate skin near her collar bone. She wiggled under him and felt him pin her hips down with his own. “Not so fast, luv,” he whispered. “We’ve got all night!”

“I just need you so badly, Rick,” she answered softly.

“And I need you, too, baby,” he murmured. “But I don’t want to rush this. I want to get to know every part of you all over again.”

“Mmm, don’t know if I can wait that long,” she rasped.

Grabbing her by the wrists, he held her down and laughed, saying, “You don’t have a bloody choice. Unless, of course,” he said, pulling away from her, “You want me to sleep on the couch tonight?”

“Fuck no!” she said hurriedly, pulling him back down to her body quickly.

Her kiss was rough and hard, almost pushing Sav to his limits instantly. He took a deep breath, trying to restrain himself with very little luck as she moved her hips up into his body. Then he forced her body down onto the bed and whispered, “Patience, my love, patience!”

“I don’t have any left,” she hissed.

“Okay,” Sav said sadly, jumping up off the bed.

“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?” Trish screeched.

“Going into the living room and sleeping on the couch until you learn to behave,” he said with a raised eyebrow.

“OH HELL NO!” she said harshly, launching herself across the room and practically knocking him to the floor. He heard fabric rip as Trish grabbed at his shirt and pulled it away from his body with one yank. The shredded remains fell to the floor as Trish’s impatient hands set to work on the buttons of his jeans. He tried to grab at her hands, but she was working too frantically.

Finally, Sav got frustrated just as she got his pants undone. Taking hold of her, he picked her up and threw her down on the bed. He let his jeans slid off his slim hips, then pounced on Trish before she could regain her bearings. Feeling the naked heat of his flesh through her clothes, she tried desperately to get to him again. But Sav was having none of it. His hard manhood rubbed against the denim on her thigh, driving her even wilder.

His lips went back to work at the collar of her shirt, nibbling a slow trail down as he undid the buttons. His fingers went gently over the lace of her bra before carefully undoing the front snaps of it. She wrapped her fingers through his long locks as his lips closed over one of her nipples. Feeling the bite of her fingernails in his shoulders, Sav sucked harder and she trembled under him.

Unfastening her jeans as his mouth still worked feverishly over her chest, he managed to get them almost halfway off before having to release her to complete the job. Before he could move back down to her, she got up quickly and spun him around, pinning him to the bed. Stunned, Sav lay there for a minute as Trish hovered over him. Then he gasped as her mouth closed onto his cock.

“Oh, FUCK, Trish!” Sav moaned as he felt her tongue slide up the sensitive under side of him. Then her throat closed down over him and he could barely even think anymore. All he could do was feel as his body instantly tensed under her attentions.

Trish pulled away before Sav’s orgasm hit and he looked up at her in momentarily stunned disbelief. Then he watched as she climbed up his body and settled herself down onto him. His hands grabbed her hips roughly as she slowly sank down onto his cock. Grinding her hips in rough circles, Trish felt waves start through her body as a orgasm crashed through her. Pushing herself, she kept going and watched her world explode into a dozen colored lights as a secondary surge passed through her. Left weak by the intensity of it all, she collapsed down onto his body and barely noticed as he rolled them over.

Though Sav’s body cried out for release, he moved slowly and deliberately into her. His hands captured her face, forcing her to look deeply into his eyes as he whispered, “I love you, Patricia!”

“I love you, too, Richard,” she murmured softly.

Try as he could, Sav couldn’t maintain the torturously measured movements of his own body. Eventually, he found himself pounding into her with everything his body had as she moaned under him. A violent shudder overcame him as his climax finally claimed Sav’s senses. Curling into her arms, he whispered, “I’ve missed you so much, baby.”

Rather than answer, she simply tightened her arms around him and snuggled in closer to his body. And that night, she showed him just how much she’d missed him over and over again.

Three weeks after Sav and Trish settled back into life in the Dublin apartment, Sav took a brief phone call from Joe. When he hung up, he looked at Trish and said, “Okay, that was bloody strange!”

“What, luv?” Trish asked softly.

“Ever known Joe to have a phone conversation that didn’t go on all night?” he asked with a puzzled look on his face.

“Lord in heaven, NO!” Trish laughed. “What’s going on?”

“All he’d say was that he and Karla had something they wanted to talk to us about, so we’re having dinner with them tonight,” Sav answered, his brow furrowed as he tried to think of what Joe could possibly want to talk about so urgently.

“What time?”

“In about an hour, actually,” he said as he looked down at his watch.

“Oh, well, better get a move on then, huh?” Trish said, her own bewilderment growing now. They flew around the apartment and managed to make it to the house in Dalkey with only two minutes to spare. Joe opened the door and saw the concern on both their faces, then let out a laugh.

“What the hell is this about?” Sav asked, suddenly angry.

“We just wanted to talk to you,” Joe said dismissively. “Come on in!”

They walked slowly into the entertainment room, were Karla was waiting with a drink in her hand. Looking at their flustered faces, she asked, “Can I get you something?”

“Scotch, neat,” Trish answered as she pulled Sav down onto the sofa.

“And a few answers,” Sav demanded. “What’s so bloody important, Joe?”

“Are you two going to stay together?” Joe asked bluntly.

“Um, ah, well,” Sav said, looking down at Trish. She wrapped her arm around his and said confidently, “Of course we are, Zeff! But what does that have to do with anything?”

“Well, I know how much you both love this house,” Joe said thoughtfully. “But Karla and I are fucking tired of it! So I’m putting it up for sale and giving you first shot at it!”

“You’re kidding!” Trish laughed, gulping down her Scotch.

“Are you serious, mate?” Sav said with narrowed eyes.

“Completely,” Joe smiled at them. “You want it?”

Sav and Trish exchanged one brief glance at each other before Sav said, “Well, does ‘FUCK YES’ cover an answer?”

“I’d say it’d do pretty well,” Joe laughed. The night went on as Sav and Joe discussed the details of the sale and Karla told Trish about the new place they were looking at. Apparently, there was even room in the new house for Joe to build his own studio, which was something he’d wanted since he’d started in the business.

Over the next few months, both couples settled into their new homes. And the band went crazy as they helped Joe design his very own studio, which they nicknamed ‘Joe’s Garage’. All work on their new album was scheduled to take place there, though it seemed that even with their home studio advantage nothing was getting done. Finally, in July of 1989, something came along to break up the monotony of studio life.

“Phil’s getting married, Trish, can you believe that?” Sav asked with a laugh.

“You’re kidding!” Trish gasped. “I didn’t think ANY of you guys would ever do that!”

“Yep, he’s gonna be the first,” he said with a smile. “Course, he’s not telling anybody else, but Jacki’s pregnant.”

“Oh my God!” Trish laughed. “Shot gun wedding then, huh?”

“I think it was Phil’s idea,” Sav said slowly. “Didn’t want his child to be illegitimate or some such nonsense.”

“In this day and age?” she giggled. “Who woulda guessed Phil was old fashioned?”

“Not me,” he said with a smile.

“When’s the wedding?”

“Next week,” he answered. “Just really small though. Only the band and a few family members are going to be there.”

“When’s the baby due?” Trish asked next.

“Late December or January.”

“Oh, okay,” she said with a smile. “Well, I’ve got to go to my doctor’s appointment, so I’ll see you later.” She gave him a quick kiss as he said, “I’ll be at Joe’s, so just head over there when you get done.”

“Okay, I will,” she said quickly, then she was gone.

The band was in the studio when Trish made it to Joe’s place. She waited until they broke for dinner, then said somberly, “Sav, we need to talk.”

“What’s wrong, luv?” he asked in concern. “Was there a problem with your check up?” She took his hand and led him out into the back yard where they could have a few minutes away from the prying eyes of his band mates. Then she looked up into his eyes and said, “Jacki and I must have been drinking the same water or something.”

“What?” came his confused reply.

“I don’t know how you’re going to feel about this, Rick, but we may have a problem,” she said slowly. “It seems, well...I’m pregnant too, Rick.”

Sav stepped back, a bit stunned by her news. Then it really hit him and he said, “We’re going to have a baby?” Nodding slowly, she waited to see how he was going to take this. A broad grin came over his face as he said, “I’m gonna be a father?”

“Yeah, Rick,” she answered, then felt the world spin as he picked her up and whirled her around. He kissed her hard and said, “Oh my God, we’ve got to tell the guys!” Grabbing her hand, he pulled her back into the house and said, “Gentlemen, we have an announcement!”

Four heads turned their way as Sav said, “Trish just gave me the most wonderful news. We’re gonna have a baby, too!”

“Damn, Savage, always trying to upstage a bloke, eh?” Phil said with a huge grin. Then he came over and slapped Sav on the back, saying, “Congratulations, mate! When’s the little one gonna be here?”

Sav turned to Trish, wondering that himself. Smiling up at him, she answered, “As far as the doctor can tell, probably February or March. So you’ll still get to be the first Leppard papa, Phil.” Joe and Rick crowded around them, punching Sav in the arm and giving Trish big, careful hugs. Only Steve hung back, watching Trish with hooded eyes full of jealousy. They’d been together for a long time, so Steve knew he should have expected this, but he wasn’t ready for the anger and hurt it brought out of him. Hiding his emotions as best he could, he walked up to Trish and gave her a gentle hug, saying, “Congratulations, luv. I hope things work out just the way you want them to.”

“Thanks, Steve,” she said softly as she kissed him on the cheek. But Steve couldn’t quite bring himself to speak to Sav just yet, so he went back into the studio and strapped his guitar back on. He shook out his hands, trying to get rid of the tremble that had developed over the last few months, then started playing with a new melody he was hearing in his head. Five heads snapped around as they heard the low soft guitar playing in the studio. Joe reached over to the mixing board and hit record as Steve started to run through the riffs again. Steve looked up and saw everyone staring at him, then put his guitar down beside him.

“Sorry, just couldn’t get it out of my head,” he sighed.

“Not bad, mate,” Sav smiled. “Not bad at all.” He turned to his bass and said, “Joe, play that back for me!”

Trish decided to leave them alone and let them get back to work, so she headed off for the kitchen to talk to Karla and Jacki. Jacki gave her a huge hug as soon as Trish told her the news, but Karla looked on with a bit of jealousy in her eyes and said, “Boy, the two of you are so lucky! I’ll never get to know what it feels like to have a baby now.”

“I’m sorry, Karla,” Trish said softly. “Sav and I didn’t exactly plan this.”

“I know,” Karla said quietly. “It just hurts sometimes. I mean, Joe won’t even talk about it. Hell, he won’t even talk about getting married, who am I kidding? Now both of you are gonna have kids and get married. I guess I just feel left out.”

“Well, Sav and I haven’t even talked about getting married, so don’t worry on that front,” Trish laughed. “He just found out about the baby! And I definitely WASN‘T planning this little surprise!”

“Oh, I’m sure he’ll want to get married now,” Jacki said with a laugh. “Don’t you worry about that.”

Trish looked down at the floor and said, “I don’t know if I WANT to get married. I mean, we’ve just gotten things straighten out between us, so I kinda like our relationship just the way it is. Why muck it up now?” Both women looked at her like she had lost her mind.

Karla’s mouth was still hanging open when Jacki said, “You’ve really lost it, haven’t you? You don’t know if you want to get married? How long have the two of you been together now?”

“Five years,” Trish answered, not seeing Sav come into the room behind her. “Rick and I are happy the way we are! There’s no reason to rush out and change what we have just because we have a baby on the way.” She jumped when Sav came over and put his arms around her, whispering, “Couldn’t have put it better myself, luv.”

“JESUS! You just scared the hell out of me!” Trish exclaimed.

“I’m just glad to know we don’t have to feel pressured to change our lives, our relationship, just because of the baby,” he said softly. “We’re happy as we are. Don’t have to have everyone else’s approval.”

“Right,” she nodded. He went to the fridge and grabbed a drink, then said, “Well, I’ve got to get back into the studio. I’ll see you later.” Karla watched with envy filled eyes as he kissed Trish again headed back into the other room.

“You’re so lucky, Trish,” Karla sighed. “He’s so sweet about it all.”

Staring after him with a thoughtful smile, Trish whispered, “He is, isn’t he?” Then the topic of conversation changed as the women discussed Jacki’s upcoming wedding. The rest of the evening passed as they went over her marriage plans.

The next week, at the wedding, Trish sat with Sav, Karla and Joe as they watched the short ceremony. Sav put his arm around Trish as said, “You ever think about doing it?”

“Doing what, luv?” she asked curiously.

“Getting married?” he asked softly.

“Sometimes,” she said quietly.

“Think we’ll ever get married?” he whispered.

“Maybe someday,” she said dreamily. “But I’m not going anywhere NEAR a wedding dress until after this baby is born!”

“Ah, the woman’s a bit vain!” Joe chuckled.

“Damn straight,” Trish laughed. “What about you, Joe? When are you going to make an honest woman out of poor Karla?”

“Hmm, don’t know if she’d have me,” Joe said quietly, staring at his girlfriend. Karla just stared down at the floor miserably, wishing Trish had never brought the subject up.

“Why don’t you try asking?” Trish prodded.

“Well, if you say so, but if she says no, I’m coming after you!” Joe joked, then looked down at his girlfriend. Just as Phil and Jacki were pronounced husband and wife, Joe asked solemnly, “Karla Rhamdani, will you marry me?”

“Really?” Karla squealed in disbelief. “You mean that?”

“Of course I do,” Joe said with a soft chuckle. “I love you, you little idiot! Just because we’ve never really TALKED about it, doesn’t mean I’ve never THOUGHT about it. Rock star or not, luv, I do still have a bit of an ego to deal with and I was afraid you might just say ‘no’.”

“Are you insane?” Karla said as she threw her arms around him. “Of course I’ll marry you!”

As Joe kissed Karla soundly, Sav smiled down at Trish and said, “So, done playing cupid for the day?”

“Somehow I just knew all Joe needed was a little prodding,” Trish grinned as Phil and Jacki turned to face their friends. The look on Phil’s face was one of pure joy as he beamed at everyone around them.

Trish started to feel rather nauseous, so rather than joining the others at Phil and Jacki’s reception, Sav took her home. He put Trish straight to bed, then laid down behind her, whispering, “Are you okay, luv?”

“Yeah, my stomach is just really upset right now,” she sighed. “I’m not feeling very well at all, actually.” She jumped up out of the bed and ran for the bathroom, just making it there before emptying the contents of her stomach into the toilet. Sav walked in slowly behind her and held her hair back out of the way until she was finished, then got a cold wash cloth for her face. Wiping it gently, he said, “Better now, luv?”

“At little,” she said weakly.

“Let’s head back to bed until you’re feeling up to moving around,” he said with a gently smile.

“I’ll be right out,” she answered softly. “Just let me go to the bathroom first.”

“Okay, I’ll be waiting for you then,” Sav said quietly. He went back into the bedroom and laid down on the bed, then heard Trish let out a cry.

“RICK!”

Running back into the bathroom, he looked at her and saw her staring down at her underwear. Her panties were covered with a smear of blood and Sav threw himself down beside her.

“God, Trish, what’s happening?” he asked in concern.

“I don’t know, but we’d better get to the hospital,” she said in shock. Bundling her out of the house, Sav rushed her to the emergency room and sat worriedly in the waiting area until the doctor said he could go back and see her.

“What happened, luv?” he asked softly.

“The doctor said it was just a little spotting,” she said, relief evident in her voice. “Nothing major to worry about, but he wants me on bedrest for the next four weeks.”

“Okay, we’ll deal with that,” Sav answered, his mind already making plans on how to take care of her while he was in the studio. Maybe Karla would be willing to come stay with her so Trish would actually stay in bed.

Before the doctor would release her, he gave Sav a list of instructions on what Trish should avoid. Sav nodded with each one, then said, “Is the baby going to be okay, doctor?”

“Yes, it will be as long as she does exactly what I say,” the doctor answered with a patient smile. “Just take her home and make sure she gets plenty of rest. I’m gong to suggest she come in for an ultrasound once she gets a bit further along, but other than that, bedrest is all she needs.”

“Okay,” Sav said quietly, letting a nurse help her into a wheelchair.

He drove her home, his hand never letting go of hers. As soon as they pulled into the drive, Sav bundled Trish off into bed and refused to let her do anything more than go to the bathroom. A brief phone call to Joe’s house made sure Karla would sit with Trish during the day, then Sav went into the bedroom and pulled a sleeping Trish into his arms so he could sleep.

Over the next four weeks, Karla and Trish made plans for Karla’s wedding while Trish lay on the couch. Everything they could do from her house was finished by the time she came off bedrest. The last two months before the wedding, Trish and Karla finished all the plans while Trish waited anxiously for the ultrasound the doctor had ordered.

Two days before Joe’s wedding, Sav took Trish in for an ultrasound of the baby. They’d decided they didn’t want to know what sex they were having, to keep it a surprise. But the doctor had insisted on the test, saying it was a routine check up, so Trish dutifully drank her water one hour before and let Sav drag her in to the hospital.

Sav held her hand as the technician spread the blue gel over her swollen abdomen then took the hand held device and began to look for the child. Things looked fine at first, then Sav saw the tech go stiff and start to study the screen very hard. The woman let out a long sigh and said, “I’ll be right back, just need to get another tech to help me out here.”

“Is there a problem?” Trish asked nervously.

“Oh, I’m sure everything is fine,” the tech said, but from the look on her face that was a bald face lie.

“I think there’s something wrong, Sav,” Trish said as tears bloomed in her eyes.

“Shh, luv, I’m sure it’s nothing,” he said confidently. “Maybe just a glitch in their program or an equipment problem.” He squeezed her hand tightly, trying to give her a little reassurance as the tech came in followed by two others. One of them was the supervisor, which definitely had Trish worried.

“Hello, Ms. Elliott,” the supervisor said. “Let’s take a look at what’s going on here, okay?”

“Is there something wrong with my baby?” Trish asked quietly.

“We’re gonna see about it, then let your doctor know,” he said quickly.

“I don’t want to wait for my doctor if there’s a problem,” Trish cried.

He put his hand on her upper thigh and said, “All we can do is scan the fetus. Your doctor is the one who has to interpret what we find. I’m sure things will be fine.” Then he turned to the technician holding the scanning wand and said, “Go back over that area again. Get us some nice clear pictures.” He hit a button on the machine and they heard a swooshing sound coming from it. “See, Ms. Elliott? That’s your baby’s heart beat right there. Nice and strong.”

Trish relaxed down into the bed as she let out a long sigh. “Ma’am, when are you scheduled to see your doctor again?” the supervisor said in his best conversational tone.

“In a couple of days,” she said, her nerves once again flaring up.

“Oh, well, that’s good,” he said with a smile. “We’re gonna let you get up and go to the bathroom now, then your husband can take you home.”

Sav smiled down at her as he said, “Boyfriend, but I’ll still take her!”

“Oh, my mistake,” the man said sheepishly. “You have a good day now, Ms. Elliott.”

“I’ll be better once I know the baby is okay,” she answered softly.

She got dressed and found Sav waiting for her by the door of the waiting area. He gave her a hug and said, “Come on, luv, things will be fine!”

“I hope so,” she said, but she had a very bad feeling about everything that had happened that day.

By the day of Joe’s wedding, Trish had literally worried herself sick. Sav went to the ceremony by himself, because Trish couldn’t stop throwing up. So she stayed in bed while Sav gave her apologies to Joe and Karla.

When Sav returned, he’d been drinking a bit, so he just crawled into bed and went to sleep without waking Trish at all. The next morning, Trish was a total wreck as they headed for the doctor’s office. The nurse showed them straight back to the examination room and Sav put his arms around Trish to try to comfort her while they waited.

The doctor made his way into the room just a moment later. He looked somberly down at the chart and Trish’s heart fell. Dr. Morris was always smiling when he came in to see her. But the look of deep sympathy in his eyes was unmistakable as he said, “Trish, Rick, I’m going to be honest with both of you.”

Tears started to form at those words as Sav asked, “What’s going on, doctor?”

Dr. Morris looked at him and said, “Have you ever heard of a condition called anencephaly?” Both of them shook their heads, so he continued, “Anencephaly is a neural tube defect that occurs when the neural tube doesn’t close like it’s supposed to around the fourth week of gestation. It causes the skull and brain to not form fully.”

“So, you mean the baby is going to be retarded or something,” Sav asked uncertainly.

“No, Rick,” he answered. “The mortality rate for this defect is one hundred percent. Most children with it are stillborn, the rest usually die within the first few days.” Trish started to sob into Sav’s chest as he said, “Isn’t there anything we can do to fix it? Some kind of treatment...”

“No, I’m sorry, but there’s not,” the doctor answered softly.

“Our baby is going to die and there’s nothing we can do to stop it, isn’t that what you’re saying,” Trish murmured.

“I’m afraid so, Trish,” he answered. “My medical recommendation is to terminate the pregnancy as soon as possible. Spare yourselves the anguish of a fruitless pregnancy and delivery.”

“Abort my baby?” Trish hissed. “Never!”

“Trish, luv, just listen to him,” Sav said quietly. “Maybe he’s right...”

“Not you too, Rick,” she said angrily. “I won’t kill my baby. If God takes it from me, then so be it. But I won’t be responsible for my child’s death.” Sav nodded slowly and said, “Trish, we’ll do whatever you want. I don’t want to do anything we’re going to regret later, okay?”

“Is there anything you need to ask me?” Dr. Morris said slowly. Now that his medical opinion had been given, he could let himself think as a parent and he understood Trish’s need to let God decide what happened to her child. “I’ll stay with you through the whole pregnancy, if you want, Trish. I’ll be there when you need to ask questions and I’ll support your decision. And this is your decision, as parents.”

Trish’s anger with the doctor started to fade as he showed her his willingness to be supportive. But she was angry with God and the world in general right now. How could this be happening? Just last week, they’d been so happy about this child. Now, it was going to die and they couldn’t stop it. She collapsed back into Sav’s arms and started to weep as Sav asked, “Is Trish going to need any special medical attention because of this?”

“No, it will proceed like a normal pregnancy for her,” the doctor answered softly. “The most important thing for the both of you is to support each other and for your families to be supportive as well. Emotions are going to be a rough thing to deal with in the next few months.”

Sav nodded his head slowly as his tears started to fall. Then he looked at the doctor and said, “Could we have just a few minutes alone before we finish this today?”

“Certainly, Rick, I’ll be out at the desk if you need me for anything,” Dr. Morris answered, then left the room. Sav held Trish close and said, “Luv, we’ll make it through this, I swear it. There’s a reason for everything that happens, just look at Rick.”

“I don’t want to look at Rick,” she said angrily as she pulled away from him. Her voice was pitiful as she said desperately, “I want my baby!” When she looked at Sav, she saw the tears in his eyes and remembered she wasn’t the only one this news had upset. She threw herself back into his arms and said, “What are we going to do?”

“I don’t know, yet, Trish,” Sav whispered into her hair. “But we’ve got time before we need to make any decisions, okay? Let’s just listen to the doctor and follow his advice for now.” She nodded slowly and they waited in silence for the doctor to return.

When he came back in, the doctor had pamphlets from several grief counselors as well as one from a support group. Trish refused to look at them, but Sav stuck them in his pocket with a quick thank you to the doctor. Then he let Sav take her home with a warning that her emotional well being was very important now.

As soon as they got home, Trish took to her bed and barely left in for the next week. Sav was left with the daunting task of breaking the bad news to all their friends and relatives. Joe’s mother immediately rushed to Ireland to be with Trish during this trying time. Joe and Karla cut short their honeymoon to be close to Trish and Sav. Rick flew in from the States for extra support if it was needed. Horrified, and perhaps feeling a bit guilty about his own good fortune and healthy child, Phil stayed in California with Jackie and sent his love to Trish through Sav. According to his new girlfriend, Steve was in tears over their misfortune and would eventually make his way back to Ireland to be with them.

Trish walked around their home like a ghost, unable to even think about the child she carried without breaking down into tears. There seemed to be nothing Sav could do to console her, so he often just left her alone.

In early December, Steve finally came to Dublin and headed straight to Trish’s side. She collapsed in his arms, emotionally exhausted and unable to turn to Sav, who had his own grief to deal with. He ran his hand over her back as he whispered, “Are you okay, luv?”

Trish could only shake her head as Sav watched the two of them from the doorway. It had been so long since he’d heard her voice, Sav was surprised when she whispered, “No, I want my baby to be okay.”

“Trish, luv, I’m so sorry, but they say there’s just no way,” Steve answered softly. A sob broke from her body as he pulled her in against his chest and said, “You’ll be alright, Trish. I promise you that. Give the baby all the love you can now, while it’s still alive, so you won’t regret it later. Do you think it wants to hear it’s mother crying constantly?” She shook her head as she looked up at him. “Then you need to pull yourself together, Trish.”

“You’re probably right,” she whispered. “Can you stay for a while, Steve?”

“I’m sorry, luv, this is just a quick stop on my way to the States,” he whispered into her hair. “I’ve already promised to visit a friend in Minnesota or I’d stay as long as you needed me. I’ll be back soon though.”

“Do you have to leave today?” she asked tearfully.

“This is just a layover for me,” he answered. “My flight leaves in a couple of hours, so I’ve got to get back to the airport. You rest now, then wake up ready to face the world, okay?” She nodded slowly as he kissed her on the forehead. Then he turned to Sav and said, “Take care of her, Sav. She needs you to be there for her.”

“Of course,” Sav answered, a tinge of anger in his voice. How could Steve even think Sav would turn his back on her? “She could probably use your friendly face here too.”

“I’ll be back,” Steve said quietly. But he was still having difficulty dealing with the fact Trish and Sav were having a child together, even if the child wasn’t going to be around long. He turned to leave, but Sav grabbed him by the arm and said, “I thought you were still her friend, Steve? How can you just walk away from her?”

Shaking Sav off, Steve said crossly, “I’m her friend, not her boyfriend, Sav. It’s your job to be there to support her through this, not mine!” He saw the hurt look on Trish’s face at that and practically ran out of the house. He started drinking as soon as he got to the airport and kept right on drinking on the plane across the Atlantic. When his friends picked him up at the airport, he wanted to go straight to a bar to forget the pain he’d left Trish in.

Joe and Sav were in the studio the following morning when they got a call from Peter Mensch. Steve had made it to Minneapolis and apparently continued to drink hard all night. He’d gotten separated from his friends at some point and was found in a gutter by a police officer. His condition was serious and he was in a double coma.

Joe flew out that afternoon to get to their guitarist’s side, but Sav felt he needed to stay behind with Trish. When he got back home, he broke the news to Trish who told Sav to go ahead and get to Steve. There was something empty in her voice, but with his concern over Steve he didn’t notice it. He just took off from her and left without another thought.

While Joe and Sav were tending to Steve’s problem, Trish was left with her Aunt Cindy. The first few days, Cindy watched her niece close off from the world. But after nearly a week, Cindy found one of the pamphlets the doctor had given to Sav. She chivvied Trish into the car that afternoon and dragged the girl to a meeting of a support group for people in just her situation. At first, Trish was furious, but Cindy wouldn’t let up and made her stay for the meeting. Though Trish didn’t say a word, she listened to the advice from a mother whose child died shortly after birth from a heart problem. The woman’s child had only lived a few days, likely longer than Trish’s would, but she’d made special arrangements with the hospital to make those few days as special as possible. Trish left the meeting with a mind full of ideas and never once considered what anyone else would think of her plans.

Sav flew home nearly a month later and found a different woman waiting for him when he returned. She was focused on making her child’s birth perfect, regardless of the outcome of that birth. Not knowing what to do, Sav just sat back and watched her make all the arrangements with the hospital. She’d gotten permission to keep the child in the room with her at all times and for their friends and family to have free access to the room. But she refused to deal with the child’s eventual death. Just after Phil’s son Rory James was born, Sav flew to the States to visit him and see Steve at the asylum he’d been checked into. He returned to Ireland a month later and had to face the unenviable task of planning the funeral Trish couldn’t face. It seemed the two of them were facing the child’s birth with totally different feelings as Trish entered the last two months of her pregnancy.

Steve was released from the hospital in February and flew to Ireland with Joe, Rick and Phil to await the birth of Sav and Trish’s child. Cindy and Joe Sr. stayed at Joe’s place with Rick, while Steve and Phil moved into a hotel not far from the hospital that Trish was going to. Girlfriends and wives, except Jackie, came over as well to lend even more moral support. Phil and Jackie had decided she should stay in California so as not to have Rory around while Trish and Sav were dealing with what was going to happen to their child.

Finally, in late March, the day Sav had been dreading arrived. Trish woke with labor pains at six in the morning and Sav took her into the hospital after making all the phone calls to their family. The nurses got Sav ready and let him go in with her as she gasped in pain.

“Trish, do you want pain medication?” the doctor asked quietly.

“NO!” she cried against the pain. “I need to keep my head on straight!”

“You’ve got a long way to go, luv,” Sav said softly.

“NO!” she said emphatically. “I can’t, Rick!” She grabbed his hand and held on through another contraction. It went on like this for hours as Trish refused the painkillers. Then Sav heard the doctor say, “Trish, I can see, well, the top of the baby’s head. You’ll have to push hard next time!”

“Okay, time to bear down, baby,” Sav whispered. Trish grabbed both his hands with the next contraction and pushed with all her might. Sav heard a nurse gasp as the baby’s head cleared Trish’s body and tears sprang to his eyes. Just what did their child look like, he wondered silently. How horrible was this birth defect?

The child’s shoulders gave Trish some problems, because its head wasn’t as big as most babies. But with some extra effort on the doctor’s part, he managed to maneuver the baby out of the birth canal and into his hands. Looking over the infant, he whispered, “It’s a girl, Trish.”

“Is she alive?” Trish asked desperately.

After a moment, the doctor answered softly, “Yes, she is. But barely, Trish. Let us clean her up and you can hold her, okay? Rick, do you want to cut the cord?” Sav shook his head, afraid suddenly to face the reality of his child’s condition. He closed his eyes as the nurse took the baby over to a table and cleaned her off, then diapered the baby and wrapped it in a blanket. She slipped a bonnet over the baby’s head carefully, then handed her to Trish.

Looking down at their daughter, Trish said, “Dr. Morris? Could you tell our family to come on back? I want them to see her before...as soon as possible.”

“Certainly,” the doctor answered quietly as he made his way out of the room. Suddenly, Sav and Trish were alone with their daughter and neither of them knew what to say.

“She’s beautiful, Trish,” Sav finally whispered.

“Isn’t she?” Trish said with a tearful smile. “Hi, luv!”

The child’s cloudy blue eyes seemed to study her parents before they closed, exhausted from the birth process. Sav held his breath, hoping the baby wasn’t already leaving them. But he could hear the soft whisper of her breathing and let out a sigh of relief.

Joe, Karla and his parents were the first ones into the room and they crowded silently around her bed, staring down at the bundle in Trish’s arms. Cindy looked at the baby and said, “She’s so pretty!”

“Yes, she is,” Joe Sr. answered. Joe and Karla both nodded, surprised at how delicate the fragile little face looked.

Rick, Stacy and Phil came in next and Rick pulled out his camera, starting to snap pictures as he’d promised Trish he would. Cindy came over and Trish handed her the baby, letting her hold her great niece for a few minutes before she handed the baby over to Sav. He smiled down at his daughter and said, “So, what are we naming her?”

“Amanda?” Trish asked cautiously. Sav nodded quietly and said, “Perfect.”

Sav’s parents were the next ones through the door and he gave the child to his mother Sally, letting her hold her grandchild. Sally looked up at him with tear-filled eyes and whispered, “What has the doctor said?”

Sav shook his head with a look at Trish and whispered, “Not long, Mum.”

Ken Savage put a comforting hand on his wife’s shoulder and said, “She’s lovely, Richard.”

“I know,” Sav said, looking away from his parents and out the window.

Steve slipped into the room unseen. He watched Trish with sad eyes, knowing the slight happiness she was feeling wasn’t going to last very long. The room fell silent as Amanda’s breathing got ragged. Sally handed the child back to Trish and turned into her husband’s arms, crying.

“Not yet!” Trish whispered as she stared down at Amanda. “Please, not so soon!” But the baby’s breathing got less and less frequent. Trish held her tight and begged God to give her a little more time. But apparently it wasn’t in his plans as Amanda’s tiny body shuddered, then went still. The only sound in the room was Trish’s sob as Joe got up and went for the doctor.

Steve’s tears fell slowly as he watched Trish cling to the body of her child. He saw Sav try to hold her and get pushed away. She just couldn’t accept her daughter was gone so soon. Steve slid slowly down the wall, crying harder as he felt the overwhelming pain coming from Trish’s broken heart.

Everyone stared at Trish, willing her to finally let go of the baby and start to move on. But she couldn’t, not for a very long time. She brushed Sav away again, not letting him get close to her in her pain. Finally, Steve crossed the room and ran his hand over Trish’s arm, whispering, “She’s gone, Trish.”

“I know,” Trish cried.

“Then let her go,” Steve said quietly. “Let the doctor do his job now.”

“I can’t!” she whimpered as she buried her face in Amanda’s blanket.

“Please, baby, you’ve got to,” Sav said softly. The doctor came in and said, “I’m sorry, Trish, Rick , but I need to take her now. We’ll make sure you get her crib card and we’ll do hand and foot prints for you. But it’s time to let the hospital staff do its job.” She looked up at the doctor helplessly, but let him take Amanda from her arms. Then she curled up in a ball, closing out everyone around her in her pain.

Sav ran his hand over her back while everyone else filed slowly out of the room. Joe pulled Steve away from Trish and led him out into the waiting room with the others as Sav tried to comfort Trish. Then Trish sent him away, saying she wanted to be alone.

As soon as Sav came out of the room, Steve got in his face and said, “What the hell are you doing?”

“What Trish wanted!” Sav said defensively. “She asked me to leave her alone for a while, so I am.”

“Sure she did!” Steve said hotly.

“What are you accusing me of, Steve?” Sav said angrily.

“Turning your back on her!” Steve answered quickly.

“I don’t fucking care what you think, Clark,” Sav finally said, balling his fist in anger. “She wanted me to leave or I wouldn’t have!”

“Steve, come on, you don’t know what you’re saying,” Phil said, getting between the two larger men. “I’m getting you out of here before something happens you’ll both regret.” With that, Phil dragged Steve out of the room, leaving Sav still fuming.

“Where does he fucking get off saying that shit to me!” Sav hissed.

“This is just a very tense time, Richard,” Ken said quietly. “I’m sure he didn’t mean any of that.”

“You know Steve, mate,” Joe said quickly. “He’s always been the first to jump to her defense.”

“But she doesn’t need defended from me,” Sav said as he slumped down into a chair. “She’s the one who turned me away, not the other way around.”

“I know that, Sav,” Joe answered. “But everyone is stressed right now, so just take Steve’s little outburst as a stress relief, nothing more.”

“You’re probably right,” Sav sighed. “I’m going to go check on Trish, if you’ll all excuse me?” Without waiting for an answer, Sav headed back into Trish’s room, where he found she’d cried herself to sleep. He slid into the bed behind her and wrapped her in his arms, holding her close as she slept. Slowly, as the tension of the day started to drain from his body, Sav fell asleep as well.

The doctor insisted on keeping Trish hospitalized for two days because she’d become completely unresponsive to his questions. But on the third day, he couldn’t justify keeping her any longer and let Sav take her back home. She headed straight for bed and only got up when it was time to go to Amanda’s funeral. Dressing slowly in a somber black suit, Trish got ready without a word and sat in the living room waiting on Sav.

“Trish, are you sure you want to go to this?” Sav asked quietly. She nodded as a single tear trailed down her cheek. So Sav reached for her hand and she let him take it for the first time since Amanda had died. The drive to the cemetery was quiet as Trish stared out the window. Sav led her to the side of Amanda’s small grave and sat her down, then turned towards the hearse that waited not far from them.

Joe, Phil, Rick and Steve each took a corner of the tiny casket and carried it to a table close to the open grave. Tears bloomed in Trish’s eyes as she saw the small coffin laid down. She wanted to open it, to pull her daughter out and hold her one last time before her body was lowered into the cold hard March ground. But she could feel Sav’s restraining hand on her shoulder, so she slumped back into the chair and let the priest say his words over Amanda’s remains.

When the ceremony ended, Sav moved away from Trish’s side and headed for his daughter’s coffin. He picked it up and carried it to the device that was used to lower it into the grave, then returned to Trish. He pulled her up into his arms as a sob broke from her body, then let her weep. Each person from the small group around the grave tried to console her before they walked back to their cars. Steve was the last one to come up to her and he let Trish cry in his arms without a word before Sav took her to their car. Steve watched her get into the car and hoped she’d be able to pull through this as Sav drove her home. Then he got into the car with Phil, Rick and Stacy as they headed for Sav’s house.

As soon as Sav pulled the car into the driveway, Trish took off for the backyard. Sav followed her, worried she might do something stupid now that she’d seen Amanda laid to rest. But she simply sat down on the steps and stared out over the ocean. So Sav went back into the house to greet the somber guests that had followed them home. His family sat in the living room, talking quietly to Joe’s parents. Joe, Phil and Rick headed into the study, trying to stay out of the way of the other’s conversation as they talked amongst themselves. Stacy and Karla pulled Sav aside and told Sav that they were available to do whatever Trish needed in the next few days. Steve headed to the bar and poured two glasses of whiskey, then headed outside.

“Trish,” he said softly. “Here, take this.” Handing her the tumbler of alcohol, Steve sat down on the step next to her and put his arm over her shoulder to try to comfort her. She took a long drink of the amber liquid, then looked up at him and asked quietly, “Why’d this have to happen, Steve?”

“I don’t know, luv,” he whispered. “Maybe there’s a reason behind it all that we just can’t see. Someday we’ll understand it, maybe.”

“I don’t think I ever will,” she whimpered as tears took her over again. Steve sat his glass down and pulled Trish into his arms, hoping to help her through this mess as best he could.

“It’s not even bothering him,” Trish whimpered as her tears started to subside.

“Sav?” Steve asked softly and Trish nodded. “Trish, luv, he’s grieving too. But he’s trying to be strong for YOU, so don’t judge him too harshly, okay?” Sav stepped into the doorway behind them in time to hear Steve whisper, “He’s a man and men deal with things like this differently. He cares, but he doesn’t want to cry so that you won’t.” Leaning back, Sav was surprised to hear Steve defending him after the exchange at the hospital. Then another sob tore from Trish’s body and Sav rushed over to her side, forgetting Steve was even there. He pulled her away from Steve and held her close, running his hand over his hair as he whispered, “It’s all right, luv, you go ahead and cry it out. I’ll always be there for you!”

Steve moved away from them regretfully, knowing that Trish needed Sav at that moment far worse than she needed him. He went inside and called a cab without telling anyone he was leaving.

Sav didn’t go back to Joe’s studio for over two weeks, determined to help Trish get past the pain of Amanda’s death. But eventually, no matter how she was dealing with it, he had to go back to work. The wives and girlfriends in residence tried to get Trish to come over and just spend some time with them, but she refused. And she didn’t want any visitors either. The only person other than Sav she talked much to was Steve, who would come over sometimes instead of going to the studio and just sit quietly with her while they both drank themselves into oblivion.

The band was becoming more concerned everyday by how much Steve was drinking and Sav was getting very worried about Trish as well. Steve was drinking heavily enough that it was affecting his playing and it was nothing anymore for Sav to find Trish blacked out from alcohol. She was pulling away from him the same way Steve was falling away from his band mates.

Finally, one morning before he left for the studio, Sav confronted Trish about her drinking. “Baby, this has got to stop!” he said urgently. “You can’t drink the pain away!”

“What do you know?” Trish yelled. “It doesn’t fucking hurt when I drink!”

“Because you’re hiding from it!” Sav said angrily. He reached for her, only to have her turn away from him. “You going to hide from it forever, Patricia?”

“As long as it takes!” she spit out as she reached for her second drink of the new day.

“By God, I may have to watch Steve kill himself, but I won’t watch you do it!” he yelled as he took the drink from her hand and threw it across the room.

“Then go stay with my fucking cousin for all I care,” she screamed back at him, then stormed off to their room. When Sav made it to their bedroom, he found the door locked and pleaded, “Trish, just tell me what’s happening to us!”

But no matter how he begged, she refused to open the door. Looking at the clock, Sav said loudly, “I’ve got to go to the studio! We’ll talk about this when I get back, okay, Trish?” But his question was greeted by more silence. “I love you, Trish!” Then he turned and left the house.

In the bedroom, Trish tried to think about what was happening in her life. He was right, she was drinking too much. But how could she not when every time she looked at him, she thought about Amanda? There seemed only one thing Trish could finally do. She packed her bags and made a call to a rehab clinic. After an hour long conversation, during which she got a guarantee of her privacy, she sat down and wrote Sav a note.

“Rick-

I’m sorry, but I just can’t live like this anymore. I can’t deal with the pain anymore. I’m going away, maybe for a long time, maybe forever, I don’t know yet. I still do love you, but being together right now just isn’t good for either of us. I’ll be in touch when I get things straightened out.

I love you,

Trish”

Putting the note on the kitchen table, Trish loaded her things into her car and headed to a rehab center just outside of London. And knew nothing from the outside world for the next four months.