Joe Elliott sat backstage on the first night of the Euphoria tour, looking around and wondering just how that evening’s show was going to go. He was joined shortly by Phil Collen and Rick “Sav” Savage, who were in a heated debate over the opening act for the gig.

“I’m telling you, mate,” Sav said with a laugh, “The fucking lead singer is a bird and from what Mal says, she’s bloody gorgeous!”

“No way,” Phil chuckled. “Peter isn’t that cruel to us blokes in the band. There’s no way he’d be dumb enough to book a chick to do a tour with us!”

“Oh, for God’s sake, why don’t you two just trot along and ask Mal so I can get some peace and quiet!” Joe said crossly. As if saying his name had invoked him, Malvin walked around the corner followed by two of the most beautiful women the three men had ever set eyes on. He was talking intently to one of them, a brunette with waist length hair and fiery emerald eyes who seemed determined to wrangle something out of the man Def Leppard called Stumpus.

“Okay, okay, I’ll do it for you this ONE night,” Mal finally let out with an exasperated sigh.

“You’re a jewel, Mr. Mortimer!” the brunette said, giving him a quick peck on the cheek before grabbing her companion, a woman of the same age and fantastic build as her, and pulling her back into the bowels of the arena.

“Bloody hell, Stumpus,” Sav chuckled with a punch to Malvin’s shoulder. “How come you get all the pretty girls to kiss you?”

“Oh, the opening act’s guitar guy won‘t be able to make it tonight, so she asked if I’d handle their guitarist’s stuff for one night,” Mal said with a shake of his head.

“I’d do the flaming guitars if she kissed me, too,” Phil laughed. “Who is she, anyway?”

“The opener’s lead singer,” Mal sighed.

“Told you so!” Sav said, jumping up with the exclamation.

“Don’t mess with her, guys,” Mal warned, but Phil wasn’t listening.

“Bet you fifty bucks I can get her into bed before you,” Phil said haughtily to Sav.

“Don’t take the bet, Sav,” Mal said evenly.

“Bloody hell, for fifty, I want in on that one!” Joe said, clearing the funk out of his brain long enough to stand up beside Phil and shake hands.

“You’re on!” Phil said triumphantly. Turning back to Sav, he asked, “How about you?”

“I don’t think so,” Sav said quietly. “I’m not near the ladies’ man you or Joe are...”

“Who’s a ladies’ man?” asked Vivian Campbell as he and Rick Allen came around the corner.

“Not me,” Sav muttered, half unheard as Joe and Phil both piped up with, “I am!”

“What are you up to now?” Rick asked quietly.

“Oh, I just bet Joe fifty I can get the lead singer of our opening act in bed before he can,” Phil said quickly. “Want in on it?”

“Sure, I’ll put up my fifty, just for the privilege of trying to rub Casanova Elliott’s face in the dirt,” Vivian said rapidly. “Come on, Rick, ante up!”

“You’re going to regret this,” Mal muttered.

“Okay, I’m in,” Rick sighed, knowing he never had as much luck as the others with women. But he was still game to give it a try. “You in, Sav?”

“No, I’m sitting this one out,” Sav said, looking off in the distance.

“Smart one for once, Savage,” Mal said with a slap on Sav’s shoulder. He started to turn away, but Phil stopped him and said, “Who was the bird with her, anyway?”

“Her girlfriend,” Mal laughed as he walked away from the five stunned Leppards.

“Girlfriend?” Phil squeaked.

“Girlfriend,” Mal said as his voice faded into the distance.

“As in LESBIAN?” Joe choked.

“Yup,” came the faint reply from down the corridor.

“Guess that bet’s off,” Sav said in quiet satisfaction.

“Nope,” Joe said smugly. “I haven’t met a woman yet, gay or straight, that I couldn’t get if I set the ol’ Elliott charm lose on her. I’m still in!”

“Arrogant bastard,” Phil said with a shake of his head. “Okay, I’ll still give it a shot! Rick? Vivian?”

“Sure,” Vivian said quietly. “Rick?”

“All right, I’ll give it a try,” Rick answered with a frown.

“Sure you don’t want in, Sav?”

“I’m sure,” Sav said quietly. “All four of you have lost your bloody minds...”

“We’ll see about that,” Joe said with confidence.

Sav made his way down the hall, looking to grab a drink before the opening act went on. Some part of him was dying to see the lead singer in action, even if she was WAY out of bounds. She was just too beautiful not to at least watch and, well, maybe a little fantasizing wouldn’t hurt him. The members of the opening band, a group called Witchfire, were just heading to the staging area and Sav nearly ran headlong into the pretty vocalist. He stuttered out an apology and was almost grateful for the shy smile that crossed her lips before she headed back towards her band. He watched her walk away with a sad smile, then turned to go into the catering room. Just as he was opening the door, out came the singer’s girlfriend and she turned a broad grin in Sav’s direction.

“Hey, you’re Rick Savage, aren’t you?” she said quickly.

“Um, yeah, that would be me,” Sav murmured.

“Miki is a huge fan of yours, man,” the blond said with a grin. “She tries to fumble through all your bass parts, but she’s never going to get them right.”

“Just takes some practice,” Sav said absently. “Miki? Is that the lead singer?”

“Yeah, that’s her,” the girl said with a nod. “Short for Michelle, which she hates, so never call her that!”

“Will do,” Sav answered, looking past her towards the cooler full of beer in the catering room. For some reason, that brush with the beautiful singer had him craving a beer suddenly.

“I’m Deana,” the blond said brightly, not noticing how little attention she was getting from Sav at that moment. “Are you going to watch Witchfire or just stay down here like the prima donna rock star?”

“Oh, I’m grabbing a beer, then heading to the side of the stage,” Sav said, starting to go passed her.

“I’ll walk up with you!” she beamed, letting him into the room for his drink. As soon as he came out, she wrapped her hand around his arm and led him to the side of the stage where Miki and the rest of the band waited. He watched as Miki gave Deana a dark look, then took off onto the stage.

“I don’t think she likes you flirting with me,” Sav said quickly.

“Eh, she lets me do what I want,” Deana answered. “She doesn’t own me, ya know?”

“I guess not,” Sav murmured as he watched Miki tear across the stage with the mic in her hand. He was pleasantly surprised by her power house vocals and her moves on stage. The few males who were near the front of the stage were in full on drool mode, which just made Sav want to laugh. Not one of them had a chance in hell with her, but none of them knew it. His attention was suddenly drawn back to the girl next to him as her hand made its way up his thigh.

“Whoa!” Sav gasped, moving quickly away from her. “I don’t poach on other folks territory!”

“Oh, nobody tells me whose property I am!” Deana laughed. “You’re a shy one, aren’t you?”

“No, just not into anything too freaky,” Sav said uncertainly. He let out a long sigh of relief as Phil came to the side of the stage and said, “How’s it going?”

“Um, fine,” Sav answered as he moved quickly away from Deana. “Here, mate, have my seat!”

“Okay,” Phil said with an unknowing smile. Sav sat down a few feet away and watched as the young woman started her moves with Phil, who was only too willing to go along with it. Shaking his head, Sav turned his attention back to the stage and watched Miki with spellbound eyes. God was just too fucking cruel, was the one thought that kept going through Sav’s mind. How could he put a woman this beautiful so far out of reach?

When the band came off stage, Miki threw a glance in Deana’s direction, then walked right on by. How odd was that? If Phil was moving in on his girl, Sav would have damn sure let him hear about it! But Miki looked like she couldn’t care less about what Deana was doing. Turning towards her in the darkness of the backstage, he found her staring at him with sad eyes. Giving him a small, cheerless smile, she turned and walked away from him and down into the dressing area for her band.

Witchfire’s guitarist put his guitar in the case and shot a inquisitive look at Deana. “Aiming a bit high tonight, huh, Dean?”

The small blond ignored him and kept cuddling up to Phil as though the man hadn’t spoken. Sav looked at him curiously and said, “She does this a lot?”

“Yeah, Miki doesn’t seem to mind, though,” the guitarist answered. “I think she’s done half our band, to tell you the truth!”

“And Miki doesn’t get pissed?” Sav asked in astonishment.

“Nope, never even heard her say a word about it, to be honest.”

“Sav, we go on in five minutes!” Vivian called from the end of the hall.

“Okay, I’m with ya,” Sav answered. “Phil?”

Phil wasn’t paying any attention to Sav. He was too engrossed in Deana’s mouth and what it was doing as it moved over his neck to give his friend any notice at all.

“PHIL!” Sav said insistently. Nothing.

“MR. COLLEN!” Sav finally yelled and Phil’s head finally snapped up.

“What?” Phil said in a daze as Deana’s hand started to run over his upper thigh.

“We’re on in five, mate,” Sav said with a shake of his head.

“I’ll be there,” Phil said absently as he turned back to the young beauty at his side. He slid further back into the shadows as Deana, ignoring how public her display was being, knelt down between his thighs and nuzzled at his denim covered crotch. Sav let out a sigh and turned away to get to his own side of the stage just as Joe came up and saw what Phil was doing.

“Eh, Phil?” Joe said loudly. “You’re gonna have to hold off for a bit, matey!”

“Oh, bugger all!” Phil cursed as he helped Deana back to her feet. Kissing her quickly, he whispered, “Think you can get away from your girlfriend for a while later?”

“I’m sure,” Deana grinned as she slapped Phil on the backside and walked slowly away, casting one last sultry glance in his direction.

“Damn shame that bet doesn’t extend to her GIRLFRIEND, Phil,” Joe laughed as Phil watched Deana’s backside twitch away.

“Who cares?” Phil sighed as his guitar tech handed him his guitar.

“Um, well, maybe Anita?” Rick answered quietly. Phil gave him a dark look as the lights in the house went down. It was show time now. Time to forget about the woman behind the stage and concentrate on the house full of beauties and their boyfriends who’d paid to see this concert.

Miki was just emerging from the shower when Deana made her way into the dressing area for Witchfire. Toweling her hair dry, she looked at Deana and said, “Having fun, dear?”

“Of course I am!” Deana smiled as she threw herself down on a bench.

“I don’t think your mother would approve, do you?” Miki asked crossly.

“No, what my mother wouldn’t approve of is the REAL reason I’m even with you!” Deana chuckled.

“Touche,” Miki said, tipping an imaginary hat in Deana’s direction.

“Are you going to go watch the rest of Leppard’s show?” Deana asked suddenly.

“No,” Miki sighed. “I’ll catch it tomorrow night. I’m heading out to the bus.” Looking at Deana quietly, she said, “Should I be expecting company on the bus tonight or not?”

“Hmm,” Deana said, pretending to think about it for a moment. “You know, I wouldn’t if I was you.”

“Okay.”

“MIKI?” Came a male voice from the hall. “Are you dressed yet so we can get cleaned up?”

“Yeah,” she answered uncertainly, quickly throwing an arm over Deana’s shoulder as the men walked in. She gave Deana a gentle kiss, then said, “The room’s all yours, guys.” Then she took off out the door and into the hall.

“Are you trying to break her heart, Dean?” one of the guitarist, Jeff, asked crossly.

“Her heart’s a lot tougher than any of you would know,” Deana whispered as she watched Miki leave sadly. “She’s not as hurt by my infidelities as you gossip mongers would like to think.”

“Yeah, right,” Chris, the drummer, said angrily. “Why don’t you just actually spend a night with HER instead of in the first warm bed you find?”

“My relationship with her is none of your business,” Deana answered hotly, not wanting to go any further into the conversation. Sometimes she could only curse Miki for putting her in this position. But, she knew, Miki needed her for reasons none of these men would ever understand.

Miki woke the next morning and looked around the bright interior of the bus she shared with the rest of the band. They’d all preferred a nice hotel room to this traveling bedroom, so Miki was alone as she put the water into the coffee maker. She sat down with her mug and clicked on the TV, searching through the local broadcast channels for the news. Settling back onto the couch, she watched story after miserable story about man’s inhumanity to man before getting disgusted and flipping it off. Letting out a sigh, she decided to go into the hotel for breakfast. She slipped into a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, then headed into the hotel restaurant.

Rick sat in a quiet corner, munching on toast as he watched the other diners. As soon as Miki crossed the threshold into the room, his attention was all hers. He was just about to wave her over when Joe came in behind her and threw a careless arm around her shoulders. Rick watched her give him a wary smile as he guided her to a table in the opposite corner. Just before they sat down, Miki spotted Rick and motioned his way. Joe shook his head, but Miki was insistent in moving Joe in Rick’s direction. As they took up seats at Rick’s table, Joe looked like a storm cloud and Miki seemed, well, nervous as hell.

“Good morning,” she said quickly with a forced smile.

“Morning, luv,” Rick said with a satisfied grin. So, Joe wasn’t scoring any huge points now, was he? In truth, Rick didn’t give a damn about the bet, he just didn’t want to see the girl become another of Joe’s conquests. Bobbie wasn’t likely to give up on Joe, no matter what, so there couldn’t be a future in any relationship with him. And honestly, Joe and Bobbie were a perfect match in some ways. Both of them could be cold and single minded when they wanted something. For Bobbie, that was a relationship with Def Leppard’s lead singer, no matter what the cost. And, at the moment, Joe’s mind was set on a short dalliance with Miki before Bobbie joined the tour.

Joe slipped his arm over Miki’s chair and Rick watched her whole body tense. She seemed so uncomfortable with Joe being so close to her! Why? Trying to put her at ease, Rick said, “So, how was the show last night?”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Allen, but I didn’t watch you guys last night,” Miki said sheepishly. “I turned in early.”

“Oh, how disappointing!” Rick laughed as he smiled at her. “Well, I insist, you’ve got to catch it tonight.”

“I will,” Miki said, finally giving him a smile as the topic of conversation stayed away from her private life.

“That little bit that’s traveling with you?” Joe said, oblivious to the sudden tension that sprang back into Miki’s body. “She certainly seemed to enjoy herself in the wings last night!”

“I’m sure she did,” Miki said coolly.

“Is she really your girlfriend?” Joe continued and Rick nearly choked on the blunt question.

“Why do you ask?” she answered learily. You could have frozen water with her voice, so frosty had it become.

“Well,” Joe asked, “She really seemed to, um, ah, like Phil, if you know what I mean. She just didn’t seem, well, GAY to me...”

“Deana does what she wants, but she knows where home is,” Miki said evenly.

“Oh,” Joe murmured, finally catching the warning in her voice. He pulled back away from her and studied her features as she finally started to eat the meal the waitress had placed in front of her. It seemed this girl was going to be harder to get at than he’d originally planned on. How was he going to manage this before Bobbie showed up on the scene? Winning the bet was small potatoes. This was now a direct challenge to his manhood and his ego and he’d be damned if he’d lose it!

They sat in a long silence as they ate, with Miki obviously rushing through the meal. She finished the last bit of her toast and started looking around for an escape from Joe, who was still eyeing her like she was on the menu. Taking his cue from her, Rick stood and said, “So, Miki, feel like taking a walk around the hotel with me?”

“Um,” she whispered, wondering if she was going from a bad situation to worse with Rick. “Yeah, I guess.” She got to her feet and missed the dark look that Joe shot Rick at his interference.

Rick held out his arm and Miki practically jumped to her feet to take it. Joe wanted to scream in frustration as he watched the gentle sway of her hips walking away from him. Leave it to Rick to pull this kind of stunt and take away a beautiful woman Joe just knew he could have if he tried hard enough. He was going to have to have a word with that boy before Rick made a habit of this kind of thing!

As soon as they cleared the dining room, Rick pulled her off into a private corner, which made her totally nervous. She was near panic as she heard him whisper, “Look out for any of the band, luv.”

“What?” she said, the tremble apparent in her voice. “Mr. Allen, what do you mean?”

“Well, not the whole band, but everyone but Sav,” Rick said, shaking his head. “I’m gonna come clean with you, just because you really seemed uncomfortable in there with Joe and me. The guys have this bet,” Rick hung his head and said, “and yeah, I’m in on it, though I’m regretting it now. We bet who could get you into bed first, even after Malvin told us you were gay. Joe, um, he doesn’t like to lose. So that’s why he was coming on like gangbusters. But, to tell the truth, I just couldn’t do that to you now.”

“Why’s that, Mr. Allen?” she asked uncertainly.

“First, please, Rick,” Rick said with a grin. “I hate being called Mr. Allen, especially by other musicians. And second, because you don’t look like the kind of girl who needs this kind of shit anymore.” He gave her a sad smile and said, “You’re a beautiful woman, Miki. But that doesn’t mean you should have men betting on you like a prize horse or something.”

“Thanks, Rick,” she whispered, though she still wasn’t certain she should trust him. But, she was glad he’d warned her about this little bet. At least now she knew to keep his band mates at arms length. Then, realizing something, she said, “Sav’s not in on this little bet, huh?”

“No,” Rick sighed. “Somehow, I just think this stuff isn’t his thing.”

“Well, thanks for the heads up,” she said, finally smiling at him. “Now I know what to look out for, huh?”

“Yeah,” he said quietly. “Keep your wits about ya, luv. I don’t think it’ll be too hard, given the circumstances. I mean, we were all a good bit out of your league anyway!”

“Thanks,” she said as she stood on tiptoe and brushed his cheek quickly with her lips. Joe was just coming out of the restaurant and saw the kiss, which made him smolder even more. Damn Rick, he was going to slip in and grab the bird, wasn’t he? He watched her with lust filled eyes as she made her way out of the hotel, then turned to see Rick staring at her with sad eyes. Well, maybe she wasn’t going for him either, now was she?

Deana and Phil were just coming out of the hotel hand in hand when Miki nearly ran into them. From the dreamy look in Deana’s eyes, Miki could only hope that Phil had decided to get out of the bet as well. She really didn’t care to see Deana’s heart get broken over a high schooler’s prank like this one.

“Morning, luv,” Phil said with a broad grin.

“Morning, Phil,” Miki answered. “Sleep well?”

“Not at all,” Phil answered with a wink. “But I think I’ll manage without it for today.”

Deana’s eyes never left Phil, which made Miki start to worry. She really didn’t want to see Deana get hurt when their part of the tour was over. She was just about to say something to her when the rest of her band came out of the hotel as well. The dark looks Deana got were enough to tell Miki that some things were going to have to change and soon.

“Dean, can we talk for a minute?” Miki said quickly, pulling her away from Phil and her band.

“Um, yeah, what’s up?” Deana said quickly before they got out of earshot of the men.

Phil watched them anxiously, wondering just how much of an earful Deana was getting about not coming back to Miki on the bus the night before. The conversation started out calmly, so Phil let out a sigh of relief and sat down to wait for the outcome. After a few minutes, there was a sudden change in the tone. Deana started to walk away from her, but Miki pulled her back again. Shaking her off, Deana turned and suddenly screamed, “You know, you may like living this bull dyke lifestyle, but I’m through with it! I missed something that you just can’t give me, you fucking bitch. A man, you know? A good hard fuck? Sorry, Mik, but you just don’t do it for me anymore! Not after last night, anyway.”

“You’ll come crawling back to me, you stupid whore,” Miki yelled as Deana took off for Phil’s side.

“Not likely,” Deana hissed as she pulled Phil up and kissed him hard on the mouth. She watched with hooded eyes as the members of Miki’s band gathered around her, trying to comfort her after what was obviously a bad break up. They led her into the bus with comments like, “She wasn’t much more that a slut who’d take on anyone who wanted her anyway.”

As soon as they got into the bus, Deana let out a giggle that was totally out of context with what had just happened. Confused, Phil looked down at her and said, “Okay, what just happened?”

“Something entirely for their benefit, I assure you,” she laughed. “I’ll explain it to you one of these days, I swear! But for now, can we just head to your bus before they come after my ass?”

“Sure,” Phil said uncertainly, leading her away from the bus she’d started out on the day before and off to his own traveling home.

Slumping into a chair in the catering room just after sound check, Sav looked up as he heard someone enter the quiet room. Miki froze, ready to bolt as soon as she saw him. There was something about her that reminded Sav of a deer caught in headlights as she watched him. She looked genuinely frightened to find herself alone with him. Letting out a sigh, Sav stood up and walked over to her, saying, “I’m sorry, but we haven’t really met yet. I’m...”

“I know who you are, Mr. Savage,” Miki said, taking the hand he extended to her. “I’m Miki.”

“Please, we’re not that formal of a group of people,” Sav said with a smile. “Call me Sav or Rick.”

“Which do you prefer?” Miki said anxiously.

“Um, well, don’t tell anyone, but Rick,” he grinned sheepishly. “But with another Rick in the band, most everyone calls me Sav.”

“Okay, Rick it is then and we’ll just deal with the confusion,” Miki said, finally returning his smile.

“Your girlfriend said Miki is short for Michelle?” Sav asked cautiously.

Letting out a slight growl, Miki murmured, “Damn her!” Then she looked back up at Sav and replied, “Yeah, but I cannot STAND being called Michelle anymore, so I’ll call you Rick and you call me Miki.” She thought about it for a minute, then said, “Well, you can call me Shelly, if you want to.”

Surprised, he looked at her with a raised eyebrow and asked, “Okay, you can tell me to bugger off if you want to, but you sound like that nickname is, well, kinda special to you?”

“My Dad used to call me Shelly when I was a little girl and everyone else insisted on Michelle,” she said with a far away look in her eyes. “He’s a very special man, so yeah, Shelly is a special name to me.”

“You mind if I use it then?” Sav asked quietly. “Cause, sorry, I mean, I know, well, your lifestyle and all that, but you just seem too feminine to be a Miki to me.”

“Thanks,” she said with a lopsided grin. “You know what they call women like me, don’t you?”

“Yeah, lipstick lesbians, right?” Sav laughed.

“Yeah,” she said, though the look in her eyes seemed to hold some kind of secret. Then she looked at him and said, “Okay, you’ve had your question, now I get mine. You’re not part of their little bet on bedding me, are you?”

“No,” he answered, though he was shocked that she even knew about it.

“You wanna have a little fun at your friends’ expense then?” she asked with a sly grin.

“What do you mean?” he asked guardedly.

“How much would it piss them off to think that the one guy who isn’t in on their bet was the one that actually got the girl?” Miki laughed.

Sav thought about it for a moment, then shook his head as a chuckle broke from his body. “Damn, luv, that would soooo set Joe off! I’m in, what should I do?”

“Oh, for the moment, let’s play it cool and let Joe keep falling over his feet,” she smiled. “Just be ready to come to the rescue if he gets too persistent, okay?”

“Sure,” Sav said, starting to like this leggy brunette for far more than her appearance suddenly. She had one wicked sense of humor, that was for sure!

“Hey Sav?” came a voice from the corridor. Joe’s head came around the corner and he found his bass guitarist sharing what looked like a very intimate smile with the woman HE was trying to get into bed. He gave Sav a dirty look, then smiled at Miki as he said, “Mind if I join you?”

“I was just leaving,” Miki said quickly, giving Sav another smile before heading out the door.

“Bloody hell!” Joe cursed as he sat down next to Sav. “She’s definitely playing hard to get, isn’t she?”

“Eh, she’s not that tough,” Sav said, baiting Joe with his response. He was rewarded by the open mouthed stare that Joe shot him as he stammered, “What exactly do you mean by that, Savage?”

“Just what I said,” Sav grinned as he headed out of the room. “And only what I said.”

“FUCK ALL!” Joe cursed as he stormed around the dressing room. Well, he was just going to have to go about this a different way if he was going to get close to Miki, now wasn’t he? Question was, how?

Over the next week, Miki stayed out of everyone’s way as much as possible. If she was forced to be around any of Leppard, she sought out Sav first for protection from Joe. Not that she thought Joe would force the issue, though the thought sent a shiver of fear through her. She been in that position before and didn’t EVER want to have to deal with a man doing that to her again. Joe had enough willing women throwing themselves his way not to need to push Miki to that extreme. But he was just always there, right on the edge of her vision and she found it unnerving. Vivian and Rick seemed content to watch her with wistful stares, dreaming of a woman they knew they couldn’t have. And Phil. Well, Phil was so taken with Deana that he didn’t even glance at Miki anymore. Joe seemed to be the only threat to her peace of mind.

At the beginning of the second week of the tour, Miki headed into Leppard’s dressing area to talk to Deana, but she wasn’t there. The only person in the room was Joe and Miki tried to leave as soon as she saw him. But Joe spotted her and said, “Hi, luv. Anything I can do for you?”

“No, I was looking for Deana,” Miki said, starting to back out of the room. Joe crossed slowly to stand in front of her and said, “You know, I don’t bite, baby. Well, only when asked to, that is.”

“I won’t be asking, Mr. Elliott,” she answered stiffly.

“Why not give a bloke a chance?” Joe smiled warmly, moving closer to her. Miki’s whole body went ridged as his hand brushed a stray curl back from her forehead. Her eyes closed as he ran a gentle hand over her cheek, whispering, “Never know what you’re missing til you’ve tried it, right?”

He saw her body tremble and took it for a sign of her starting to loosen up towards him. He bent to kiss her just as Sav entered the room and wondered what was going on. Maybe Miki had changed her mind, Sav thought, starting to leave.

“Please, don’t!” came a strangled plea as Miki opened her eyes. Joe was shocked to see the look of stark terror in her eyes. He backed away from her as she started to cry, sliding silently down the wall. Sav rushed to her side, whispering, “Shelly, are you okay?”

All she could do was shake as she murmured, “NO!”

Looking up at Joe accusingly, Sav hissed, “What did you do, Joe?”

“Nothing!” Joe said emphatically. “I just kissed her, mate! You know me, it’s not like I was trying to rape her or something. I just thought she might be taking an interest in me, so...”

“Forget about it,” Sav interrupted brusquely. Then, more gently, Sav said, “Listen, Joe, why don’t you take off for a minute? Let me see if I can figure out what’s going on?”

“Sure,” Joe answered quietly. Then he looked down at Miki and said, “I’m sorry, Miki. I didn’t mean to...” The thought drifted away as he heard her sobbing quietly. He made his way out of the dressing room, totally baffled as to what had just happened.

Sav pulled Miki into a gentle embrace and whispered, “Shelly, please, tell me what just happened.”

Miki looked around in a daze for a moment. Sav held her as she regained her composure, still waiting for her to give him an answer. When she looked up into his eyes, he could see old fear just starting to fade from hers. He brushed her hair back and said quietly, “Shelly? What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry!” she said quickly, jumping away from him. “I’ve got to apologize to Joe. I just totally overreacted.” She started away from him, but Sav asked quietly, “What did you overreact to, luv?”

“Nothing,” she answered dismissively. “Just bad experiences, that’s all. God, it’s not like Joe’s some raving madman or something. He’s just been so persistent about this all! I wish he’d back off!”

“I’ll talk to him, okay,” Sav said uncertainly. He stood up next to her and said, “Listen, I can tell you’ve got something you don’t want to talk about here. If you ever need a friendly ear, just scream, okay?”

“Rick?” she whispered. “Could you stay with me while I go talk to Joe? I...”

“Sure, babe,” Sav said with a smile. He put a protective arm over her shoulder, then said, “You about ready to give him a show?”

Miki raised an eyebrow in his direction and grinned. Sav realized that her smile was as gorgeous as the rest of her as she said, “Sure, why not? You know, maybe we need just a little practice before the show...” Reaching up, she put her hands on either side of his face and brought his lips down to hers. A shock of electricity ran through Sav as their lips met in a soft, gentle kiss. For a moment, nothing seemed to happen. Then, much to his surprise, Miki kissed him harder. He felt her tongue wander out, running softly over his lips before he let her into his body. Their tongues played with each other, rubbing together in an intimate dance. He was in for another surprise when her hand tangled in the mass of his blond hair, pulling him closer to her.

Miki stepped back from him, leaving him shell shocked and breathless as she said quietly, “Well, I think that should spike Joe’s beer for him.”

It certainly spiked everything in me, he thought in shock as Miki pulled him out into the hallway.

They found Joe muttering to himself in the hallway not far from the room he’d just left. He went stiff as soon as he saw Sav’s arm around Miki’s shoulders. Taking a deep breath, he forced a smile and said, “Everything okay, luv?”

“Fine,” Miki said quickly. Far too quickly for Sav’s liking. “I just, well, I’m sorry, but I over reacted. No hard feelings?”

“Yeah, luv, none at all!” Joe said with a grin. Well, that was a lie. Joe certainly had HARD feelings whenever he saw her, but it seemed that wasn’t likely to pan out. Especially when she laid her head down on Sav’s shoulder like they were far more than just friends. Shaking his head, Joe murmured, “Don’t worry, Miki. It won’t ever happen again.”

“I’d appreciate that, Joe,” she said quietly. Then she smiled at him and let Sav lead her away from his lead vocalist. Looking down at her, Sav asked, “Care to join me after the show? Maybe we can give Joe a bit more to gnaw on before he goes to sleep tonight?”

“I don’t know, Rick,” she said thoughtfully. “Maybe I should just keep to myself tonight. I’m really just here to sing, not cause any problems for you or the others.”

“Naw, you won’t cause any problems,” Sav chuckled. “I just love seeing Casanova bite the dust, that’s all. He’s got to go on good behavior soon anyway, cuz Bobbie’s joining the tour next week. So let’s give her a bit of a welcome home present, eh? If Joe’s spitting nails about some other woman, he’ll not give her any peace when she finally does get here. Know what I mean?”

“I guess so,” Miki murmured. “Well, you’ve got a sound check to get to, don’t you?”

“Why don’t you come with me?” Sav asked, suddenly as nervously as if he’d asked her out on a date. What the hell was he thinking, anyway? THERE WAS NO WAY SHE WAS INTERESTED IN HIM! Why was he practically begging to have his heart trampled?

Miki surprised him by saying, “Okay. Sounds like it could be fun to actually see you guys playing from the proper angle anyway. You miss a good bit of the effect when you’re in the wings.” Putting her arm back around his waist, she snuggled carelessly into his body and let him pull her to the front of the stage. He was the first member of Leppard to make it to the stage, so he released her and headed for his guitars. Miki followed him and he found her staring at his Union Jack bass longingly. He looked at her hesitantly and asked, “You wanna try that one out for me?”

“Oh, I couldn’t!” she said, pulling back hurriedly. “That thing is, well, sacred to Leppard fans!”

“It’s just a guitar, even if it’s my favorite,” Sav grinned, picking up the red, white and blue instrument. Walking slowly up to her, he slipped the strap over her head and settled the bass over her shoulder. “You know how to play one of those?”

“A little,” she whispered, letting her hand run over the neck of the guitar. Positioning her fingers carefully, she struck a note and let it sound out through the amphitheatre. Smiling at her encouragingly, he said, “Play me a little, why don’t ya?”

“I don’t know about that,” she said weakly. But with Sav grinning at her, she looked down at the strings and closed her eyes, trying to remember anything at that moment. She took a deep breath and started in on the first riff that came into her mind, her favorite bass solo.

Sav’s jaw dropped open as he heard her play a respectable version of the Work It Out solo. It wasn’t entirely accurate, but close enough that there was no mistaking what she was doing.

“WOW!” he exclaimed as he got over the surprise. “You’re not too bad, luv!”

“Is that right?” she asked quietly.

“Close,” he smiled. “Wanna learn it?”

“God, yes!” she giggled nervously. Sav moved in behind her, saying, “Okay, you start here.” He moved her hand down the neck of the guitar into the correct position. Phil and Deana came onto the stage and heard Sav say, “Now, this part was right, then you go into this.”

“What the fuck?” Phil laughed quietly, shaking his head. “Is he nuts or what?”

“Why?” Deana asked curiously.

“I’ve never known Sav to go after a woman who couldn’t possibly want him,” Phil said softly.

“Never know, now do you?” Deana said with a sly smile. Joe walked up as she said, “Maybe Miki’s not all you think she is.”

“She’s psycho,” Joe muttered, loud enough that Phil and Deana both heard him. Deana spun around and hissed at Joe, “What the fuck do you mean by that?”

“She totally freaked out on me in the dressing room,” Joe said, a slight tinge of anger coming into his voice.

“Freaked out how?” Phil asked, keeping his voice down so that Sav and Miki wouldn’t hear them.

“Started crying and shit,” Joe answered, looking across the stage to see Miki smiling up at Sav.

“Why?” Deana asked quietly.

“It was nothing,” Joe said dismissively.

“Miki doesn’t freak over “nothing”, Joe,” Deana growled. “She’s a lot stronger than that. WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?”

“Fuck, man,” Joe said in confusion. “All I did was kiss her and she wigged out! That’s all, I swear it!”

“A kiss wouldn’t do that to her,” she said quickly and quietly. “Unless it was one she didn’t want...”

“Baby,” Phil whispered. “Let Joe off the grill, okay? He wouldn’t hurt her, I know it.”

“But did she?” Deana said as she looked up at Phil.

“What?” Joe said, his brows furrowed as he tried to understand what Deana was saying.

“It’s a long story,” Deana sighed. “Don’t worry about it for now, okay?” Glancing up at Phil, she said, “We’ll talk about it later, okay?”

“Okay,” Phil answered, watching Miki stare to wander over the stage carrying Sav’s bass.

Sav was watching Miki as well, telling her just how to do a sound check for an instrument rather than a microphone. They were laughing and joking, so Deana decided to just let things stay as they were for the moment. She’d have time to talk to Miki later about what had happened.

When Sav and the others got into full swing of the sound check, Miki sat down in the front row next to Deana and watched them. Deana leaned over and whispered, “Okay, Miki, dish!”

“What?” Miki said with a sly grin.

“What’s happening with you and Sav now?” Deana asked quickly, trying to hide the excitement she felt even from Miki. Somehow, she just knew that whatever was going on probably scared Miki half to death.

“There’s nothing “going on”, Dean,” she answered finally. “It’s just an act to put the screws to Joe, that’s all.”

“Miki, you can’t lie to me!” Deana giggled. “You’re falling for him, I can see it!”

“And you’ve what, gotten a sudden brain tumor?” Miki said crossly. “Remember what you know about me before you jump to any conclusions.”

“I do and that’s exactly why I think you’re falling head over heels for him,” Deana chuckled.

“Forget it, Dean,” Miki said quickly. “You’re not going to play match maker for me, of all people. Just go back to your little love affair and leave me out of it!”

“Hmm, love affair, huh?” Deana said dreamily. “I guess you could call it that, couldn’t you?”

“Considering I’ve never seen you with one guy on two consecutive nights, I’d say you’re the one with the love bug,” Miki said good-naturedly.

“Damn,” Phil sighed. Sav looked his way and asked, “What’s wrong, mate?”

“You don’t think...nevermind,” Phil said with a shake of his head.

“What’s up?”

“You don’t think Miki is trying to get Deana back, do you?” Phil asked worriedly.

“Well, she did come on tour to be with Shelly,” Sav said quietly, hoping Phil wasn’t getting too upset about things. Phil really did seem to have it bad for Deana, that was for sure.

“But, I don’t know...” Phil answered thoughtfully. “I mean, Deana just doesn’t seem the type to, well, swing both ways, if you get my meaning. She’s just too into...”

“More information than I want, Phil,” Sav laughed.

“Well, it’s true!” Phil exclaimed.

“What are you going to do about Anita?” Sav asked after a few minutes.

“We’ve been kinda growing apart anyway,” Phil answered without a thought. “I’m just not in love with her.”

“And you are with Deana?” Sav inquired quietly.

“I think I am, to be honest,” Phil said with a sad shake of his head. “Wouldn’t it figure that I would lose out to a woman when I manage to find Ms. Right?”

“Well, you haven’t lost out yet,” Sav said confidently. “Just take your time and don’t try to force her into anything.”

“Speaking of forcing things, what happened between Joe and Miki?” Phil asked, changing the subject suddenly.

“I’m not sure,” Sav said with a uncertain shake of his head. “When I walked in, Shelly was against the wall with him in front of her and she started crying almost as soon as he kissed her. It was really weird, mate. I’ve never seen a woman react quite THAT way to Joe before.”

“I think there’s something she’s not telling us,” Phil said confidently. “Something just isn’t adding up in this.”

“Well, maybe Deana will tell you if Shelly won’t tell me,” Sav said after a moment. Phil grinned at Sav’s constant use of Miki’s nickname. Looking at his friend, he finally said, “What’s going on with the two of you, anyway?”

“Oh, nothing,” Sav dismissed Phil’s thought. “It’s all just an act for Joe’s sake, really.”

“The two of you didn’t look like it was much of an act, Sav,” Phil grinned. “You looked pretty cozy up there, showing her your bass and all.”

“It’s just for show, okay?” Sav answered, abruptly getting defensive. “Fuck all, man, she’s GAY!”

“Well, look at Deana is all I’m going to say,” Phil laughed as he wandered away from Sav’s side to the far side of the stage.

Stealing a glance at Miki, Sav could only wish Phil was right about her. After all, that kiss in the dressing room had really knocked him right out of his socks! But, deep in his heart, he knew his own feelings were in vain. There she was, sitting very closely to her former lover and probably trying to win Deana away from Phil at that very moment. How could he possibly compete with that?

Before the crowd was allowed into the amphitheatre, Miki and Deana made their way into the back stage area. They stood close together and Phil looked worriedly at Deana. Maybe she had decided to forget him and go back to her girlfriend after all. He watched in dismay as Miki threw her arm over Deana’s shoulder and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. He faded back into the shadows, his heart breaking as he thought of losing this woman who’d stormed into his life only a week before. But he wasn’t quite quick enough as Deana caught a glimpse of him. She broke into a wide smile until she saw the look on his face. Giving Miki a quick hug, Deana crossed the corridor and looked up at Phil as she asked, “What’s the beef, baby?”

“You’re going back to Miki, aren’t you?” Phil asked quietly, fighting to keep his emotions from churning out of control.

Deana let out a long sigh, then said, “Phillip, I think it’s time we had a talk about my relationship with Miki.” Smiling back at Miki, Deana grabbed Phil by the arm and pulled him into a quiet corner of the back stage for a long conversation.

Sav made his way to the side of the stage just as Miki and the rest of Witchfire were about to go on. Her band gave him a funny look as he put his arm over her shoulder and kissed her on the cheek, saying, “Kick some ass out there tonight, okay, luv?”

“Will do,” Miki answered with a confident grin as she charged out onto the stage like a fighter entering a ring. Sitting down, Sav let his head rest against an empty crate as he watched Miki’s band do just what he’d asked her to do. He busted out laughing, though, when Miki turned around and faced an inquisitive look from her bass player. There was no doubt what the guy had asked her as she winked at him, then stuck her tongue out before turning back to the crowd.

Their show was nearly over when Phil came to sit next to him. From the grin Phil wore, he was rather pleased with whatever Deana had to tell him and Sav was dying to hear it.

“Okay, man, I’m guessing she’s staying with you, right?” Sav said with a laugh.

“She never was really with Miki,” Phil answered with a stunned grin. “They were playing at it so that nobody would hit on Miki.” Turning to face Sav, he shook his head and said, “She’s her bleeding COUSIN, mate! Would you believe that?”

“You’re kidding!” Sav said, stunned at the thought that they managed to fool so many people.

“Yeah, I guess Miki’s had a rough time of things or something, so she asked Dean to come along and keep people off her back.”

“Wow,” Sav murmured. “How long have they been at this shit?”

“Two fucking years, can you believe it?” Phil grinned. “Deana’s been play acting this whole bi-sexual thing just so that nobody would fuck with her cousin! She’s an amazing girl, Sav, really she is. Until we got together, she says it was easy to just play at being this AC/DC nympho to help Miki out. But, she finally told Miki how she felt, so Miki decided it was time to stand on her own and let Deana out of their “relationship”. God damn, I feel like a new man suddenly! She’s all mine and always wants to be!”

“What about Shelly?” Sav asked quietly. “How much of this is playacting on her part?”

Phil shook his head and said, “I’m sorry, mate, but I didn’t really ask about her. I was just so happy about Dean, I didn’t even think...”

“Don’t worry, Phil,” Sav said sadly. “I really think she’s exactly what she says she is, so I’m not getting all upset about it. We’ve gotten to be friends, so I guess that’s good enough.” Phil put a gentle hand on Sav’s shoulder just as Witchfire came off the stage. Miki gave him a curious look, but said nothing as she sat down on the far side of Sav. She just stared at Phil, who was still beaming about Deana.

“So, I take it you and Dean are getting along quite well now that she left me?” Miki asked, unaware that Deana had told him anything about them. She tried to look upset about it, but failed miserably as she thought about how happy her cousin was. Deana deserved this after the past two years, Miki thought to herself.

“Yeah,” Phil grinned, wondering how she’d feel if she knew her secret was out. Sav just stared at the floor miserably. Part of him was happy for Phil, but the rest of him wanted to find out just what was going through Miki’s head.

“Well, guess the best person won,” Miki said soberly. She held out her hand and said, “Next time, Phil, remind me not to bring my girlfriend around you guys, okay?”

“Will do,” Phil answered, stifling a smile as he saw the look on Miki’s face. She did seem almost sad for her masquerade to be at an end. Sav watched her with sadness in his own eyes, but for a different reason. Now that Deana was ‘out’ of her life, he wondered if she would try to finally find a woman for a real relationship. She looked silently at him before turning and making her way out of the wings.

Sav thought about Miki during all of Leppard’s set. He wondered if she was doing okay, even as he got back onstage for the encore. As soon as they finished, he got showered quickly and managed to dodge the fans on his way out to the buses. He glanced over at Witchfire’s bus and wondered if Miki was there alone. Nearly going into her bus, Sav changed his mind and climbed aboard his own bus instead. If she wanted to see him, he guessed she’d find him later.

Once everyone boarded the buses, they headed for the hotel and the bar. Sav sat alone, speaking to the fans but not his band mates as he waited to see if she’d actually show up. A young woman came over and sat next to him, smiling as she said, “Hi Sav! My name’s Terry and I’m a huge fan of yours!”

“Thanks, Terry,” Sav answered, though he was distracted. He didn’t notice at first how close the young woman was sitting, until she put a soft hand on his thigh. He jumped at the touch, not expecting anyone to be so forward that night. Few fans had really come on that strong since he’d been ill in 1995 with Bell’s Palsy, so he’d gotten used to the relative quiet he’d been afforded. Truth was, he hadn’t been with a woman in months, not since his last girlfriend, Paige, had left him because of career conflicts. When the woman smiled up at him with sultry eyes, he thought briefly of actually taking her up on her unspoken offer. Then he let out a sigh and leaned back.

At just that moment, Miki walked slowly into the bar. She didn’t see Sav sitting in the corner, so she headed for the bar and ordered herself a shot of whiskey. Belting it back, she looked around and her eyes landed on Joe. She suddenly stiffened, then leaned across the bar and ordered another drink. Joe was sitting with Bobbie, who’d only arrived just before the show as an early surprise for her boyfriend. Getting up, he walked quietly over to her and motioned to the barkeep for another round on him. He leaned down and whispered, “I’m really sorry about what happened earlier, luv. I think it was just a huge misunderstanding. Friends?” He held out his hand and Miki shook it with a small smile. Inside, she thanked God that Bobbie had arrived, not knowing the truth behind it. She hadn’t been privy to the phone call Sav had made earlier, telling Bobbie how much Joe was missing her and needed her to come stay with him.

Sav saw Miki just as she shook hands with Joe. He smiled, glad he’d been able to keep Joe’s lust from causing Miki any further grief. She was just turning her head his way as the young girl next to him leaned over and kissed his ear. Miki froze at the sight. She looked back to the bartender and asked for a bottle of whiskey, then took it and headed out to her bus.

Sav didn’t know what the hell had just happened. One minute, Miki had finally looked happy as she’d shook Joe’s hand. Then she’d seen him and taken off. Without saying a word to the woman who’d been sitting next to him, he got up and headed out to the buses. Miki was just closing the door behind her as he came out of the building. He walked slowly up to the door and knocked on it softly. Miki peeked out from behind the curtain, then quietly opened it to let Sav in.

“Why didn’t you stick around in there?” Sav asked softly.

“Well, with Bobbie here, we can stop our little act,” Miki sighed. “Plus, you seemed to have your hands full and I didn’t want to interrupt.”

“What?” Sav asked in confusion. “Shelly, what are you talking about?”

Miki opened the bottle and took a long swallow before saying, “Rick, why don’t you go back in with the girl who’s probably waiting on you? I’ll be fine out here, honestly. I think I just need a little time to myself. Losing Deana, well, I guess it was harder than I want to admit.”

“Shelly?” Sav said quietly. “Phil and I both know the truth about you and Deana.”

“What?” she hissed with narrowed eyes. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Deana told Phil what her real relationship was with you, so you really don’t have to pretend to it anymore,” Sav answered. “At least, not with me you don’t.”

“What else did she tell him?” Miki asked, horrified that all of her secrets had just been let out by her beloved cousin.

“Not much,” Sav said quietly.

“Good,” she said hurriedly, taking another drink as she slumped down on to the couch. Sav sat down next to her and said, “Shelly, what are you trying to hide? I mean, we all know you’re gay. You’ve never hidden that from any of us. So just what’s the big deal?”

“Never mind it, Rick,” she said quickly, though Sav could hear the alcohol starting to affect her speech. Her words started to slur slightly as she turned from him and said, “It’s really nothing that important.”

“Shelly, don’t do this,” Sav said as he reached for her and brushed her hair back. Miki went ridge at his touch. She backed away from him, burrowing into the couch as if she could hide there. “This is what I’m talking about!” Sav exclaimed in frustration. “You KNOW I’m not going to hurt you, so why do you keep shying away from any kind of contact? Except, of course, when we’re just play acting for a crowd, that is.”

“I don’t want to put myself in a bad situation,” Miki answered evasively.

“What did someone do to you, baby?” Sav whispered, pulling back and just taking her hand.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said as stiffly as she could.

“Bullshit, Shelly!” he said angrily. “Okay, maybe I’m just male and stupid, but you act like someone’s hurt you in a real bad way. I mean, look at what happened with Joe that afternoon! One kiss and you’re on the floor crying. Was it the kiss or the way it happened?”

“What?” she said quietly, her eyes narrowing as she tried to follow his train of thought.

“I saw the way Joe had you backed up against the wall,” Sav murmured. “If you didn’t want him to kiss you, it could have looked a bit, well, aggressive. Was it the aggression that scared you, Shelly?”

Silent tears started down Miki’s face as she was flooded with thoughts she didn’t want. Memories she’d tried to suppress came crashing down on her and she broke into a sob as Sav fell to his knees in front of her. “Please, Shelly, just tell me!” he begged. “I just want to be there for you, cuz I think we’ve gotten to be friends. That’s all!” He took both of her hands gently in his as he looked up at her with beseeching eyes. “Am I right? Did someone hurt you?”

Miki nodded as tears ran freely down her face. “Okay,” Sav answered softly. “We can deal with it, I swear. You just need someone to talk to...a friend who’ll listen without judging you. And that’s what I'm here for. When did it happen?”

“Three years ago,” she whispered.

“Now, I know this is probably very hard to talk about, but tell me what happened,” Sav said softly.

“God, Rick, I can’t,” she whimpered, curling into a ball as she pulled away from him. He moved up next to her, tugging her gently into his arms though she tried at first to resist. “I won’t hurt you,” he whispered as his arms closed around her. “I swear, I’d never do anything like that.”

With that promise, Miki let her head come to rest on his shoulder and took a deep breath. Sav really was trying to help her. She could see that. So, with a long sigh to release the tension from her body, she said softly, “It happened one night, after a gig with my last band. This guy had been following me, kinda watching me too closely. He was persistent, even after I told him that I wasn’t interested in going out with him.”

“Just like Joe was,” Sav said thoughtfully.

“Exactly,” she whispered before going on. “Now you know why this whole thing with Joe was so hard.”

“Yeah, I do,” Sav answered.

“Anyway, I just blew him off,” she continued. “I figured he’d get the message if I ignored him long enough. But he didn’t. After a show, he waited til I left by myself. I wasn’t seeing anyone, so I’d made it a habit of just going off alone. I didn’t know how dumb that was then. I got out into the alley behind the bar and that’s were he caught me. He pinned me up against a wall and started kissing me. I started screaming as soon as my mouth was free and that’s when he started hitting me. I wish he’d knocked me out, then I wouldn’t have had to feel...”

“But he didn’t,” Sav probed.

“No, he didn’t,” she said, tears coming back into her voice. “It hurt so fucking bad! He just kept hitting me. When I tried to get away from him as he was tearing at my clothes, he grabbed a beer bottle and broke it on the trash can next to me.“ Pulling her shirt aside, she showed him a jagged scar that ran down from her shoulder to the first swell of her breast. “He told me the next cut would be my throat and that’s when I decided to just lay there and take it. Before he left, he said he’d see me again real soon. I curled into a ball right there in that alley and cried myself to sleep. When they found me the next morning, they didn’t even recognize me. My face was all swollen from the bruises. My clothes, well, they weren’t there anymore. I had blood all over me.”

“God, I’m so fucking sorry you had to live through something like that,” Sav whispered into her hair.

“That’s when I decided no man was ever going to hurt me again,” she murmured, though Sav could feel her emotional turmoil taking it’s toll. She was drifting off into sleep as she whispered, “No man can ever get close to me again.”

“Shelly?” he said quietly. But she was sound asleep against his body. Picking her up, Sav headed for the nearest bunk and laid her down in it. He was just about to leave her alone when she turned over and grabbed his shirt.

“Don’t go!” she whimpered.

“Okay, I’ll stay here for the night,” Sav whispered, climbing into the bed with her. She burrowed in against his body before falling into a fitful sleep full of nightmares. Every time she awoke in tears, Sav soothed her back to sleep with gentle kisses.

The next morning, Miki woke to the unfamiliar feel of a man in her bed. She panicked for a moment before realizing that she was still fully clothed and so was he. Wracking her brain, she finally remembered just who it was laying next to her.

Sav woke up as he felt her moving against his chest. He smiled down at her, then said, “Feel better, luv?”

“Actually, yeah, I do,” she said after a moment. “Thanks for last night, Rick.”

“What are friends for?” he quipped as he moved regretfully away from her. “I’m going to head up to the hotel for breakfast. Care to join me?”

“Sure, just give me a second to change clothes,” she answered softly. Sav made his way to the front of the bus and waited for her. She came out just a moment later, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. Smiling at him, she let him take her by the hand as he led her into the hotel dining room.

Deana and Phil were sitting in the restaurant as Sav and Miki walked in. Deana’s eyebrows shot up as soon as she saw Miki and Sav’s clasped hands. Her inquisitive glance was met by a murderous stare from Miki, plainly a clue that she didn’t want to talk about what had happened. But Deana was dying to know just what was going on. Phil started to say something to Sav, but Deana kicked him under the table with a hiss of “I’ll find out later!”

Breakfast was a silent affair, with Phil and Deana not knowing what to say and Sav and Miki not really needing to talk anymore. For the moment, it seemed that everything had been said back on the bus. Little did Sav know that there was still one more important thing he hadn’t been told yet.

As they were leaving, Deana pulled Miki into the ladies’ room with a smile at the two men. When the door closed, she hissed, “Okay, NOW what’s going on? Did you just spend the night with Sav?”

“I started drinking and he stayed with me, that’s all,” Miki said dismissively.

“Miki, when are you going to tell him the truth?” Deana asked impatiently. “He’s obviously crazy about you! Even Phil can see that. You’ve got to tell him why you’re...”

“He knows the why, okay, Dean?” Miki said quietly. “There’s only one thing he doesn’t know, and that’s the what.”

“You mean, you told him about the attack, but not...”

“Exactly,” Miki murmured softly. “He knows why I’m hiding, but not what I’m hiding.”

“JESUS!” came Deana’s reply in a harsh huff of breath. “Would you just fucking tell him?”

“We’ll see,” Miki whispered as she looked at the door. “I don’t know if I’m quite ready for that just yet.”

“You know I’m right here for ya, Mik,” Deana said as she pulled the other woman in for a hug. Then the two of them headed out into the restaurant where Sav and Phil waited.

Later that day, when it came time to head out for the next venue, Sav looked at Miki and whispered, “Wanna ride with me, luv? It’d be a lot quieter on my bus with just Joe and Bobbie rather than the whole lot of your band.”

Closing her eyes, Miki thought for a long moment before finally saying, “Yeah, I guess I could use a break from the moron patrol anyway. They’ve been all over me since Deana and I broke up.”

“Why?” Sav laughed in disbelief. “It’s not like you’d go out with any of them anyway!”

“No, they think I need to get out and get some action, so I keep finding flyers and advertisements for gay bars in every town we go through strewn all through the bus,” Miki said with a shake of her head. “That’s not exactly what I need right now, ya know?”

“Yeah, believe me, I was there when Paige and I broke up,” Sav said with a small smile. “Joe was the worst about it. He had twenty women he thought he should fix me up with!” He threw a careless arm over her shoulder as they walked, making them the picture of a couple in love. It drew snickers from her band mates, who wondered why a rock star like Sav was making a fool of himself over a woman he couldn’t have. Only Deana and Phil, who’d been sworn to secrecy after Deana had told him EVERYTHING about Miki, didn’t say a word about the two of them as Sav helped her on to his bus.

Joe gave Miki a shocked look as she stepped aboard and for a moment, she considered just going back to where she belonged. But Bobbie stepped forward, extending her hand as she said, “Hi, I’m Bobbie Tolsma. Joe told me you’re the lead singer for the opening act. How’s the tour been treating you so far?”

“Pretty good,” Miki mumbled uneasily.

“Are you and Sav...”

“Oh, no, we’re just friends,” Miki said quickly. Too quickly. Bobbie gave her a knowing look and let the subject drop. She snuggled up to Joe and said in a saccharine sweet voice, “This tour must be hard on the guys! I mean, Sav usually doesn’t call to tell me how much Joe is missing me! After that, I just couldn’t wait to get here and see him!”

“Sav called you?” Miki said, glancing at Sav who looked away guiltily.

“Yeah, said poor Joe was just pining for me something miserable, so I got my tail right out here!” Bobbie laughed as she looked up at Joe. He smiled down at her patiently, then looked at Sav and said, “By the way, mate, remind me to thank you for that later.”

“Sure,” Sav answered, wondering how much shit Joe would give him over it when they were alone.

Bobbie gave Joe a tug and said, “Why don’t you show me again how much you’ve missed me, baby?” Looking at Miki, she giggled and said confidently, “You wouldn’t BELIEVE how good last night was!”

“Oh, I’m sure it was,” Sav chuckled as Bobbie pulled Joe back to their bunk.

“You called her?” Miki said as she spun around to face Sav.

“Um, can I plead the fifth?” Sav said nervously.

“No, you’re not American,” she said quickly. “Why on Earth did you do that?”

“Well, I knew Joe was making you uncomfortable and if she was here, he’d have to behave,” Sav murmured.

“You did it for me?” she said disbelievingly.

“Yeah,” he murmured, suddenly very interested in something he saw out the window of the bus. Miki moved up behind him and ran her hand over his back. He turned to face her, wondering if he’d made a mistake running interference with Joe. Before he could say a word, she ran her hand up over his cheek gently and pulled his lips down to hers. Her kiss was soft and sweet. Of its own accord, his hands went to her face, cradling it tenderly. She was just about to pull away when the bus lurched, sending both of them sprawling onto the couch. Sav let out a grunt as Miki landed on top of him. She immediately started to move, but Sav stopped her. Trying not to scare her, he whispered, “I promise I won’t hurt you, luv.”

“I know,” she whispered, letting him pull her body more comfortably on top of his. For a long moment, Sav just held her close to him, afraid he’d scare her if he did anything else. Miki loosened up as he let her lay there. A thought occurred to Sav, though he wasn’t quite sure how to voice it. Finally, he looked down at her and whispered, “I’m sorry, baby, maybe I shouldn’t ask you this. But I guess I need to know. Have you ever...been with a man before?”

Miki pulled back and looked down at him, her eyes blooming with tears suddenly. Burying her face in his chest, she whispered, “Not by choice I haven’t.”

Oh God, Sav thought. How could he deal with this situation? He let her lay against him, crying softly as he tried to make a desperately important decision. Finally, he murmured, “Why don’t we go lay down on my bunk and catch a little sleep? I think maybe we’re both just a little tired, that’s all.”

He stood up, pulling her along with him. As they made their way back to his bed, she stopped him and said, “Rick, I need to tell you something.”

“Don’t worry, luv,” he said with a smile. “I know, nothing is going to happen back there. I’m not quite your type, now am I?”

Miki stopped in her tracks and said, “I’m serious, Rick. We need to talk. Please?”

“Okay,” he said, looking at her in concern. He leaned back against the wall and said, “What’s wrong?”

Miki shook her head, not quite sure where to start with what she had to say. She looked down at the floor, then said, “Rick, what you just asked me. You need to know the whole story, okay?”

“Sure.”

“I’ve never been with a man that I wanted, that’s the truth,” she started. “I’ve never been with a woman either, though.”

“What?” Sav asked, his eyes narrowing as he tried to digest what she was saying.

Miki turned away from him as she whispered, “I’ve never willingly had sex with anyone. I was saving myself for the right person, only it didn’t end up that way.”

“I’m not sure I’m following you, Shelly,” he said quietly. “So you’ve been waiting for Miss Right to come along?”

“Not Miss, Rick,” she mumbled. “Mister.”

“What?” Sav was completely baffled by what she was saying now.

“God, this is harder than I thought,” she murmured. “Rick, you’ve been so sweet to me! I can’t keep lying to you like I do with the others.” She took a deep breath, then finally spit out what she had to say. “I’m not gay, Rick.”

“WHAT?” Sav nearly yelled.

“I said, I’m not gay,” she repeated quietly. Walking away from him, she said, “I can understand if you hate me for lying to you. But it was the only defense I’ve had for the past three years.”

“Okay, once more, just a little slower,” Sav said, coming up behind her. “You’re not gay? This whole thing has been a rouse? For what reason?”

“So guys would just leave me alone,” she answered quietly. “When I was attacked, I had been saving myself for the day I got married. Stupid in this day and age, but true. Afterwards, I was too terrified to let a man get close to me. You saw how bad a simple kiss from Joe freaked me out! People used to joke around that Deana and I were lovers, because we were so close. So, we came up with this plan to shield me from any unwanted interest. When we moved to a new town, we weren’t cousins. We pretended to be lovers. Deana still could do what she wanted and if she ever found the right man, we’d “break up”. The little “fight” we had in front of Phil and the guys from my band? We’d planned that out a long time ago. That way she’d be free and I’d still be protected. As far as everyone outside our family is concerned, we’ve always been a gay couple. Or rather, I was gay and Deana was bi. So, as a total dyke, guys shied away from the challenge to their manhood. But, the truth is, a woman like Bobbie? One who would have a guy tripping over his tongue? I’m not interested at all. I’m as heterosexual as you are. I just thought you should know that.”

“I’m glad you trusted me enough to tell me the truth, Shelly,” Sav whispered as he watched her sit down on the couch.

“I’ll lay down out here and you can go back to you bunk for a nap,” Miki said, starting to settle down into the cushions.

“Shelly, why?” Sav asked, kneeling down beside her.

“Because, I know you’re not interested in me and, oh, nevermind!” she turned to face the back of the sofa.

“Please, tell me what you’re thinking,” he said as his hand ran over her side.

“God, do you know what this is like?” she whimpered, starting to cry again. Wiping her eyes with her hand like a child, she said, “You’ve been so sweet and so gentle with me, even when you thought I was gay! You’re the first man...Please, Rick, don’t make me say anymore, okay?”

“I’m the first man that what, Shelly?” he whispered.

“You’re the first man I’ve been attracted to that’s ever made me feel safe at the same time,” she answered, then buried her face into the couch.

“God,” Sav sighed, wondering if he was about to make a mistake now. He pulled Miki around to face him and whispered, “Baby, maybe I make you feel safe because I care about you. I’ve spent the last week or so wanting to do anything to get close to you, even when I thought it was useless. Do you think finding out that you return my feelings is going to suddenly change me? I care about you, baby. Finding out that there’s a chance you could care about me isn’t going to do anything but make those feelings a lot less bittersweet. Can you understand that?”

“You really like me, Rick?” she asked softly.

“Hell yes!” he laughed. “Given enough time, I could probably say that I more than like you! Cuz these feelings? They feel a whole lot like being in love to me!”

“Really?” she said, her eyes going wide at his confession.

“Really,” he said with a grin. “Now, why don’t you come back and lay down with me? I promise, I’ll still be a gentleman.”

“Okay,” she said as she quietly got up from the couch. Sav took her hand and pulled her back to his bunk. He laid down, then tugged her into the bed with him. Running his fingers through her long, dark hair, he said, “See, I don’t bite.”

“I knew you wouldn’t,” she murmured as she laid her head down on his chest. He held her close as his head started to spin with her revelations. She wasn’t gay after all! Maybe, just maybe, there was a chance for them to actually be together after all. He made the mistake of turning into her body just as that thought crossed his mind. She stiffened as she felt his arousal start to dig into her thigh. Miki wondered just what he was going to expect from her now that he knew the truth. Could she have made a horrible mistake in telling him?

Sav took a deep breath. He knew that she was suddenly scared because of his condition. Her eyes were wide in pure terror as she lay silently next to him. So he simply kissed her on the forehead and whispered, “Don’t worry, luv. I won’t try anything while you’re sleeping. I don’t want to hurt you all over again.”

“But, don’t guys hurt if they don’t do it after they get, um, well, uh...”

“Sometimes,” he grimaced, remembering his own worst case of frustration. “But that doesn’t matter to me. I’d do anything to keep from hurting you, so a little blue ball isn’t much to ask. Now, just go to sleep!”

“Okay,” she whispered uncertainly. She let herself relax against him, still not sure if she was doing the right thing. Sav just held on to her and tried to think of the ugliest, nastiest woman he’d ever encountered to quell his arousal. It worked within minutes and he let out a sigh of relief as he fell quietly to sleep.

They woke up when Joe came thundering through the small hallway. Sav drew back the curtain and yelled, “Hey mate, you mind not trying to wake the dead here?”

“Bloody hell, Savage, where’s Miki at?” Joe hollered back at him.

Miki peeked out of the bunk and said, “Right here, Joe.”

“OH!” Joe exclaimed as he saw her head come around the corner. He shut his gaping mouth, for once biting back a reply that could have caused a lot of problems for him at that moment. He really didn’t want to get into a fight with Sav at that moment. Not with Bobbie still laying there in his bed. Of course, if Sav was going to end up with Miki, who was he to bitch? He did still have Bobbie and she really was the right woman for him. Miki wouldn’t have been anything more than fling anyway.

When the bus reached its destination, the four of them piled out quietly. The bus containing the members of Witchfire pulled in next and Sav held Miki’s hand as her band mates made their way out as well. Jaws dropped open when they saw Miki snuggle up against Sav.

“Um, Miki, is that you?” Jeff said with a laugh.

“Yeah, it’s me,” she answered, looking up at Sav adoringly. Sav ran his hand over her face, kissing her softly in front of everyone. Chris nearly choked when he saw it, but the others just gaped in wonder. Phil let out a laugh as Sav and Miki turned and headed into the venue. When they got inside, Deana walked over to Miki and said, “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Sure,” Miki said, pulling away from Sav and following Deana into a corner of the room.

“Um, I’m not going home next week when you guys get off this tour,” Deana said, staring at the floor.

“Oh really?” Miki grinned. “Phil asked you to come along, huh?”

“Yeah, at least for a while,” she said almost shyly. Miki couldn’t believe the changes she was seeing in Deana. She was quieter, more thoughtful. And every time she looked Phil’s direction, she got this dreamy look in her eyes that showed just who’d brought these changes about in her.

“Congrats, babe,” Miki said with a smile.

“What are you going to tell the guys in the band when I don’t come home with you?” she asked, suddenly concerned for her cousin.

“I’ll just tell them you weren’t interested in staying with me anymore,” Miki said after a moment’s thought. “They probably aren’t expecting it anyway. Why would you stay with me if you can have Phil Collen?”

“What are you going to do?” Deana asked quietly.

“What else?” Miki said with a sad smile. “Go home and fend off the women now that I’m free!” Miki laughed suddenly, saying, “At least girls take no easier than guys do!”

“How about Sav?” Deana probed. “What’s happening with you two?”

“I don’t know and I don’t really have time to find out, now do I?” Miki answered abruptly. Suddenly cross, Miki turned from her cousin as she said, “I’ll be fine on my own now, really. I don’t think I need anyone anymore.”

Miki started to walk away, but Deana grabbed her by the arm and whispered, “Mik, don’t shut yourself off from the world anymore, please?”

“We’ll see what happens when I get home,” Miki said softly as she finally walked off to the stage area rather than return to Sav. He watched her go, wondering why she hadn’t come back to sit with him. He looked at Deana, only to find her staring right back at him. Going over to her side, he whispered, “What’s going on, Deana?”

“I just told her she’d be going home alone,” Deana answered quietly. “I’m staying on tour with Phil.”

“Oh, wow,” Sav murmured. “How’d she take that?”

“I’m not sure,” she said, her face showing just how puzzled she was. Spinning to face Sav, she asked quickly, “How do you feel about her, Sav?”

“I care a lot about her,” Sav answered before he got to think about it. “Maybe I even love her...”

“If you think you love her, don’t let her go,” Deana advised as she made her way back to Phil’s side. “Don’t let her go alone...”

Sav looked towards the stage, then followed Miki up to the stage. Looking around, he couldn’t see her anywhere at first. Then, off to his right, he saw a female figure staring down at his guitars. Miki.

Walking over behind her, he leaned down and whispered, “Why’d you run off like that, luv?”

Miki let out a squeak and jumped around to face him guiltily. He pulled her into his arms as he said, “Shelly, what’s going on inside that beautiful head of yours?”

“Nothing,” she murmured, refusing to look up at him.

He turned her chin up gently so that she had to face him and said softly, “Please, don’t try to lie to me NOW, okay? I thought we were done with all that.”

“I’m sorry, Rick,” she whispered, wanting desperately to lay her head down onto his chest. But she couldn’t let herself. She pulled away and said, “I just wanted some time to myself, that’s all.”

“And the fact that Deana’s staying with Phil had nothing to do with your sudden change in mood, did it?” Sav questioned.

“NO!” she exclaimed quickly. Then, she thought for a second. He’d just berated her for not being honest, hadn’t he? “Well, maybe...”

“Why’s that?” he kept probing, needing to hear the answer from her instead of trying to come up with it on his own.

“Well, I’ve only got a week left before we leave the tour and I guess...” she took a deep breath and then whispered, “I’m going to miss you, I guess.”

“Why don’t you stay with me then?” Sav asked quietly.

Miki shook her head and said, “I couldn’t, Rick. It wouldn’t be fair to you. You’ve got too much going on right now to get tied up with an emotional cripple who can barely face the world without a microphone.” She stood with her back to him and felt his hand come to rest on her arm as he asked, “Isn’t that my decision, luv? I don’t want you to leave me right now, that much I know.”

“I just can’t do it, Rick,” she whimpered, not wanting him to see how badly this decision was distressing her. “This just isn’t the time to be doing this.”

Sav stepped away from her and said quietly, “I’m sorry you feel that way, Shelly. I really thought you felt something for me last night, just like I feel for you. But I guess I was wrong.” He moved away from her, his face a mask of sorrow as he left her standing by his guitars and went back to the dressing room. Once he was gone, Miki fell to her knees and let out the pain-filled sobs she’d held back during the conversation. It was a long time before she could pull herself together enough to wipe her eyes and walk slowly down to the separate dressing area that her band used.

Miki avoided Sav as much as she could for the next few days, keeping to herself whenever she wasn’t on stage. Sav found himself watching her and wondering if there was anything he could do to change her mind. And Deana was disgusted with Miki’s actions. Finally, the night of the last show Witchfire was doing with Leppard, she cornered Miki and hissed, “Just what the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“Well, I just came off stage, so I’m figuring I’ll have a shower and head out to the bus for some sleep,” Miki answered quickly.

“I don’t fucking mean about THAT!” Deana said, her voice raising in anger. “What are you doing to yourself and to Sav?”

“I’m not doing anything to either of us!” Miki said defensively. “I’m letting the poor bastard off the hook before he gets tied up to a total basket case, that’s all.”

“And doing the one thing I told you not to, huh?” Deana growled. “Shutting yourself off from the world and from a man who cares about you more than any other man ever has! Phil told me that Sav asked you to come along on tour with him and that you fucking said no! Why?”

“I’ve already answered that question, Dean,” Miki replied tiredly. “I’m not going into this anymore. I’m not in any shape to be with a man like Sav. His life is all right where he wants it and mine? Mine’s in the gutter so far I’ll never crawl out!”

“Are you so sure my life’s where I want it?” Sav asked quietly from behind her. Neither woman had seen him walk up behind them, so they both jumped at the sound of his voice. Miki spun around and hissed, “Aren’t you supposed to be on stage right now?”

“Yeah, just forgot something in our dressing room,” Sav muttered, shaking his head. He walked away, grabbing his forgotten gear and heading for the stage without another word.

“What’d I tell you?” Deana said quietly. “Why are you doing this to him?”

“Let it go, Dean,” Miki said finally as she walked away towards her dressing area. “I’m leaving tomorrow and he’ll soon forget all about me...”

“Somehow I doubt that,” Deana said to herself as she moved up to watch Phil and the others perform. She tried to think of someway to convince Miki to stay with Sav, but just couldn’t come up with anything. By the time the show was over, Deana was resigned to watching her cousin walk away from the best thing that she’d ever had a chance of having.

When she got to the catering room, walking along side Phil, she saw Miki sitting on the floor and staring up at the ceiling with tear filled eyes. She walked up to her, pulling Phil along, and said, “Mik? What’s wrong, hon?”

“It’s my dad,” Miki whispered.

“WHAT?” Deana said quickly, pulling away from Phil and kneeling beside Miki. “What’s happened, Mik?”

“He was...was...in a car accident, Dean,” Miki said, though her words were barely audible.

“Is he gonna be okay?” Deana prodded.

“No, Dean,” she answered quietly, tears streaming down her face. “He was killed instantly.”

“God, no,” Deana murmured, tears starting down her face now. Phil pulled her to her feet and wrapped her in his arms, whispering softly that every thing would be all right.

“You don’t understand, Phil,” she cried. “My dad died when I was a little kid. Uncle Frank was the closest thing I had to a father myself!” Turning to Miki, she asked quietly, “When did it happen?”

“About three hours ago,” Miki answered absently. “I was probably on stage at the time.” Her eyes closed as she tried to deny the truth of what she’d just told Deana.

Sav walked down the corridor, his head hanging as he thought about the fact that Miki would be leaving the next day. He’d shrugged off all the comments he’d heard about this being a dyke’s tour once the crew had found out Joan Jett was taking Witchfire’s place. Part of him wanted to scream at the rough stage hands who thought they were being so clever. But the other part just wanted to crawl to Miki and beg her to stay with him. He was almost to the dressing room when he heard her voice. Unable to help himself, he broke into a grin until he realized she was crying. He made the turn to the catering room instead of the dressing room and found Miki sitting on the floor with her head in her hands. Throwing himself down beside her, he put a hand on her shoulder and asked quietly, “Shelly, baby, what’s wrong?”

Miki looked up at him and found herself unable to speak. Her mouth worked in agony as Sav pulled her against his chest and looked to Deana for answers. But Deana’s face was buried in Phil’s chest, so Phil answered for the women, “Miki’s dad was just killed in a wreck, Sav.”

“Oh, God, baby, I’m so sorry,” Sav whispered into her hair. At his words, Miki collapsed into rough sobs that pulled from her chest and broke through her vocal chords. Sav ran his hands over her back and let her cry herself out. He looked down at her with sympathy in his eyes and said, “Have they made any arrangement for him yet?”

“My sister said the funeral was in three days,” Miki whimpered, barely able to speak. Then she looked around and said, “I’ve got to get home! Mom’s a basket case over this and I know Kelly isn’t going to be able to handle everything by herself.”

“You fly out tomorrow anyway, right?” Sav asked quietly.

“My flight was scheduled for noon tomorrow,” Miki answered softly.

“Then get some sleep tonight and go home on schedule,” Sav whispered. “Making someone come pick you up at the airport in the middle of the night isn’t going to do anyone any good right now. Let your mom and sister rest tonight and deal with what’s happened in the morning.”

Like a small child, Miki just nodded and started crying again. Sav pulled her to her feet and said, “Come on, Shelly. You need to get some sleep tonight.” She let him lead her back to the dressing room, where he changed without getting a shower. Miki sat looking at the floor without seeing anything at all. She didn’t think she had any tears left in her as she remembered all the good times she’d had with her father as a child. He’d bought her the first guitar she’d ever owned, then paid for the lessons so she could learn how to use it. He’d been so proud of her when she gotten the job with her first band. While her mother thought Miki needed to concentrate on finding a “real” job, her dad had encouraged her to follow her heart and her music. How was she going to keep going without him being behind her?

“Shel?” Sav whispered. “You ready to go back to the hotel now?” She nodded silently and let him pull her out into the night. He’d called them a cab instead of waiting for the buses and it was waiting right outside the stage door. Sav signed a couple of autographs, then excused himself as he got Miki into the cab. She was nearly asleep from emotional exhaustion when they got to the Hilton. Rather than disturb her, he lifted her carefully from the taxi and carried her into the building. She snuggled sleepily down into his shoulder so that she didn’t have to face the truth that she had to deal with the next morning.

Sav managed to get her into his hotel room without disturbing her much, then laid her gently on his bed. He stood and watched as she curled into a ball, holding herself tightly. Wanting to hold her, instead he turned away and headed for the bathroom and a much needed shower after the gig he’d just performed.

Leaning against the cold tile of the shower, he let out a sigh and wondered just what he should do next. This certainly wasn’t the time to even think about pressuring her to stay with him. She needed to be with her family now. Or what was left of it. There was no way he could take off to go home with her, that much he knew. He didn’t have a break from this tour for another week, and then they only had three days off. But somehow, he had to let her know he’d be there if she needed him. He hadn’t found any answers as he got back out of the shower and slipped into clean clothes.

As soon as he walked into the bedroom, he could hear her muffled crying into her pillow. Sitting down on the bed next to her, he ran his hand over her back and silently let her cry. She turned to face him with tears running down her face and looked so pitiful that all Sav could do was take her in his arms and hold her like a child. He kissed her forehead gently as he whispered, “Everything’s going to be okay, luv.”

Miki couldn’t answer him. At his careful words, sobs tore through her again. She held on to him like she was drowning and he was the life raft.

“Come on, luv,” Sav whispered softly. “You need to get some sleep before your trip in the morning.” Miki nodded and let him arrange their bodies in his bed before wrapping her arms tightly around him. He kissed her face carefully, the only measure of comfort he knew he could give her at that moment. For a moment, he thought she’d finally cried herself to sleep. Then she lifted her face to his and kissed him hesitantly. He could feel fear coming from her suddenly and resolved not to try to push things any further. But it seemed Miki’s body had ideas all it’s own as her fingers wound through his hair and pulled him further into her kiss. For one brief moment, Sav forgot Miki’s terror and let his hands begin to wander over her body. As his fingertips brushed over her breast, he felt her whole body go stiff in his arms. He pulled away from her with a reluctant sigh and whispered, “Maybe I’d better take the floor for tonight.”

“No,” she answered softly. “I will. This is all my fault, Rick. There’s no reason you should get punished for it.”

“It’s not your fault,” he said quickly as she moved away from him. “You can’t help what happened to you, baby.”

“But I should be able to control how I react to it and not let it get in the way of what I want...” She looked away from him, unable to finish her thought as she fought with her inner demons.

“And what’s that?” he asked softly.

“YOU!” she whimpered, starting to cry in frustration. Sav pulled her back against his body and said, “I’m glad to hear that, luv, but I’m not going to push this whole thing. Let’s just go to sleep and we’ll see what happens later, okay?” He kissed her forehead gently, reigning in his own passion as he held her against his body. Miki shivered, half from fear, but also half from her own desire. She let him hold her as she tried desperately to rid her mind of thoughts she just couldn’t deal with at that moment. Burying her face in his chest, she cried desperate tears as she fought her emotions.

After what was probably the longest few minutes of Rick Savage’s life, he pulled Miki’s face up to his and whispered, “Come on, baby. Let’s just go to sleep and we’ll worry about the future later. We’ve got our whole lives to make the big decisions and I’m not going to rush you into any of them. Understood?”

Miki nodded silently and let Sav pull her down on to the bed. Holding her as gently as he could, he closed his eyes and tried to shut the feeling of her body against him out of his mind. He was just drifting off to sleep when he felt Miki’s hand touch his cheek tentatively. Eyes snapping open, he found himself staring up at her as her lips moved softly to his. Her hand went to his shirt as she unsteadily tried to open the buttons. He could see the stark terror in her eyes, yet she kept slowly undoing the buttons until his shirt was completely open. Pushing the fabric back from his body, Miki moved into him. Her lips traveled over his shoulder, kisses so soft he could barely feel them. For a moment, Sav was lost in the gentle touch. Then he felt her whole body start to shake as her hand caught on the waist of his jeans.

Catching her hand in his own, Sav looked down at her and whispered, “Shelly, you don’t have to do this. You’re not in any shape to make this kind of decision and you might regret it in the morning.”

Rather than say a word, she silenced him with a kiss that took his breath away. A groan broke from deep in his throat as her fingertips traced lightly over his bare chest. Closing his eyes tightly, Sav laid back and let Miki’s trembling fingers explore his torso as she watched her hand in terrified fascination. He grit his teeth, determined not to move as she found the line of hair that led down his stomach and below the waist of his jeans. She moved her lips slowly down that silky trail and Sav felt his body stiffen in response. His breathing was getting labored as she kissed his stomach, but still he wouldn’t move. Grabbing the sheets roughly, he held on with everything he had as her hand moved down to his hips, avoiding the tell tale sign of his arousal.

Before he realized what he was doing, one hand let go of the sheet and touched her shoulder. Her response was immediate as he caught her off guard. She jumped away from him, suddenly afraid he was going to make a grab for her. Looking up at her, Sav could see the fear in her eyes and suddenly got furious with himself.

“What the bleeding hell am I doing?” he raged in frustration. Miki shrank away from his anger, afraid it might be directed at her. She’d never seen him so mad as he pulled his clothes together and started to pace the room. At first, he didn’t even look her direction. He just stormed around the hotel room, muttering to himself about what a “bloody fool” he was. Then he finally turned and looked her way. She was curled in a ball on the bed, sobbing silently as she watched him with eyes grown huge.

“Oh, God, Shel!” he said quickly, throwing himself to his knees in front of her. He reached out a gentle hand, whispering, “I’m sorry, baby! I didn’t mean to act that way.” All she could do was cry and move away from him. “Shelly, please! I’m not mad at you, I swear it! I’m just mad at myself, that’s all!” Tears bloomed in his eyes as he murmured, “You know I wouldn’t hurt you, luv! Don’t you?” Uncertainty crept into his voice as he realized she wasn’t even hearing a word he said. He wanted to hold her, to make her know this wasn’t her fault, but she wouldn’t let him close to her.

Finally, after a long time of trying to regain what fragile trust she’d had in him by not making any sudden moves, Sav let out a sigh and moved back from her. “Listen, Shel,” he said slowly. “I’m going to go sleep in someone else’s room. You take the bed and try to sleep. I’ll see you in the morning. We’ll talk about this then.” After a moment, when he got no answer from her, he turned in defeat and walked slowly out the door.

For a long while, all Sav could do was lean against the wall outside the room and wonder why he’d had to get so angry. His rational mind knew that the worst thing he could have done at a time like that, when she was so vulnerable and trying so hard to get past her fear, was to show any kind of aggression. Yet that was exactly what he’d done. He couldn’t understand it. That wasn’t even the way he normally acted. He’d always been the quiet one of the group, the one in control of himself. Rick might have once reacted like that. Hell, Joe was his best friend, yet he could see Joe having that same kind of outburst. There was just no explanation for SAV to do it, though.

To tired to think much longer, he started to knock on the doors of his band mates. But door after door didn‘t open, so he headed down to the bar in hopes of finding someone who could give him a place to sleep for the night.

Just after he’d crossed the threshold of the bar, Phil and Deana spotted him. Deana looked him over and some instinct immediately told her something was very, very wrong with him. Pulling on Phil’s arm, she got up and headed to Sav’s side, looking up at him as she asked, “What’s wrong? Is Miki okay? Is she asleep?”

“No, I don’t think she’s okay,” Sav whispered as he pressed his room key into Deana’s hand. Before she could ask him another question, he said firmly, “She probably needs someone to talk to right now. You’d better go up. Sorry, I hate to ask you to clean up the mess I made, but she won’t talk to me right now. That much I know.”

Her lips pressed into a firm line, she looked up at him defiantly for a moment before Sav growled, “Damn it, woman! She needs you up there!”

“Go on, Dean,” Phil said patiently. “I’ll take care of him and find out what happened.” As Phil took control of the situation, Deana relaxed a moment and let him do what had to be done here. In a flash, she realized Miki had to be in some kind of trouble for Sav to be acting this way and took off for Sav’s room at a dead run.

“Come on, mate,” Phil whispered as he pulled Sav out into the hallway. “Tell me what happened and we’ll see if it can be fixed.”

“I just reacted really badly and scared her,” Sav answered, trying to be evasive about the whole situation. “I’m a fucking idiot, Collen, so can we leave it at that?”

“Fine,” Phil answered, knowing Sav would talk when he was ready to. “I guess you can spend the night in my room, cuz something tells me Deana won’t be there tonight anyway. Let’s head upstairs and tuck you into bed, okay?”

“I’m not a little kid, Phil,” Sav said crossly.

“Then don’t act like one,” Phil chuckled as he pulled his band mate towards the elevators. The ride to their floor was silent as Sav berated himself for his mistakes and Phil watched the inner turmoil tear at his friend. When the door opened on their floor, they found themselves face to face with Deana and she looked ready to explode.

“SHE’S GONE!” Deana said angrily. “WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED IN THERE TONIGHT?”

“Dean, baby,” Phil said calmly. “This isn’t the place to talk about it. Wait til we get back to the room and I’m sure he’ll tell you everything. Right, Sav?”

“She’s gone?” Sav asked in disbelief, ignoring Phil as he headed to the room he’d left a bare half hour before. He opened the door and looked around the empty room, then headed in to check the bathroom. As much as he didn’t want to believe it, Miki was no where to be found. He slumped down onto the bed and found himself looking up at Deana’s angry features as she hissed, “What did you do to her, Sav?”

“It’s a really long story,” Sav sighed.

“I’ve got all night,” Deana huffed as Phil ran a soothing hand over her shoulder. “Tell me!”

“I was trying to get her to sleep,” Sav said quietly. “I swear, I’d kept my mind off trying to start anything that might scare her away. Only she had other ideas.” Looking down at the floor, Sav continued, “She started, well, trying to push herself past her fear, I guess. I didn’t want her to get frightened, so I just let her control everything. I didn’t even touch her, just let her do what she wanted to.” His eyes closed as he said, “Only, I made one big mistake. I touched her, just barely, and it scared her a little. Well, I got angry with myself and lost my temper. If I’d just kept my fucking mouth shut, maybe she wouldn’t have freaked out the way she did. By the time I realized what I’d done wrong, she was too far gone for me to manage to get her back. So I decided to go sleep in someone else’s room and just let her sleep here. Only, I guess she decided she didn’t want to stick around after all.”

“I wonder if she went down to the bus,” Phil said absently as Deana started to pace the room. She finally threw herself down beside Sav on the bed and whispered, “No, if I know her at all, she’s grabbed a cab and headed to the airport. She’ll try to move her flight up and probably get a taxi to her mom’s rather than wake her up.” Shaking her head, she went on, “Sav, I know this isn’t your fault...”

“Don’t even say it, Deana,” Sav sighed in defeat. “If I’d have controlled my temper, she’d still be here.”

Turning to face him, Phil looked at his friend curiously and said, “Losing your temper isn’t your gig, mate. What happened?”

“I don’t know,” Sav said softly. “I just got so fucking mad when I scared her!”

“Why?”

“Why do you think, Collen?” Sav said angrily. “I just terrified a woman that I...” Looking at Deana, he pleaded, “You know I’d never hurt her, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I know,” Deana murmured while Phil watched Sav curiously.

“I don’t get it, Sav,” Phil continued in confusion. “You NEVER lose your temper. Well, except when Joe shoots his mouth off, but even then... This just doesn’t make sense.” Then suddenly, a light went on in Phil’s head. His eyes went wide as he whispered, “You’re really in love with her, aren’t you? That’s the only thing that makes sense of any of this!”

Sav’s head sunk to his chest in defeat as he nodded slowly. Then he looked up at Phil and said softly, “I love her more than my own life.” He let out a long sigh and said quietly, though frustration registered in his voice, “Not that it’ll do me a fat lot of fucking good now, though.”

“We’ll see, Sav,” Deana said confidently. “We’ll just fucking see about that!”

A week later, Miki sat in her mother’s living room and tried to ignore the pointed barbs her mother directed at her. Deana, who’d flown in just in time for the funeral, sat next to her favorite cousin now, trying to give her silent comfort as Miki’s mother hissed, “You know you should have been here, Michelle! Not out playing around with that damn band. If you’d have been here, your father wouldn’t have had to go to your grandmother’s apartment. I mean, she lives in the same damn complex with you! If you’d have stayed here and gotten a real job, you could have just walked across the sidewalk and made sure she was okay!”

“Aunt Sharon, you don’t know that!” Deana said in Miki’s defense. It was obvious that Miki couldn’t put those words together at that point in time. “She could have been at work or just about anywhere!”

“Like she’s ever had any kind of life but that damn band,” Sharon answered hotly. “If she wasn’t with them, she never went any place!” She looked at her daughter angrily and said, “I suppose now you’ll finally give up on the band? When it’s too late? I’ve got a friend who can probably get you a job in her office, so long as you don’t go in there dressed like a rock star...”

Tears trailed down Miki’s face as she stared at the carpet. Finally defeated, she nodded and whispered, “Yes, ma’am.”

Surprised, her mother stared at Miki for a long moment before saying smugly, “Good. I’ll call Kathy tomorrow and see if she can arrange an interview for you. Maybe some good came out of your father’s death after all, if you’re finally going to grow up.”

Miki’s mouth worked in agony before she finally gave up and bolted out the backdoor of the house. Sitting in her father’s favorite garden spot, she gave in to sobs that wracked her body. She looked at her father’s prize rose bush and whispered, “I’m sorry, Daddy. I don’t want to quit! But Mom’s right. If I’d have been here, would you still be gone? Could I have stopped you from dying?”

“No, you couldn’t have,” came a warm British accent from behind her.

Miki stood up and spun around, finding herself face to face with Sav. “You can’t stop fate and death, luv,” Sav whispered. “It was just his time to go. And I think you know it, somewhere deep inside. It’s always hard to lose someone you love, I know cuz my dad just died a few years ago and I still miss him. But YOU couldn’t have stopped it.”

“What are you doing here, Rick?” she murmured.

“I couldn’t get away any sooner or I’d have been here then,” Sav answered. He took a step closer to her and said, “Deana and I have been on the phone every night since you left me, so I could make sure you were okay. But it didn’t sound like it, from what she’s been saying.”

“I’m fine,” Miki said, trying to sound strong and failing miserably.

“She said your mother’s been all over your ass, luv,” Sav said quietly.

“Deana could have told you that was nothing new,” she sighed. “Only, when she’d get really bad, Dad would...” Her voice caught in her throat as she thought of all the times her dad had stepped into her fights with her mother, telling Miki that it was her dream. It was her decision to live it, not her mother’s.

“Don’t give up on your dreams, Shelly,” Sav whispered gently as he laid a hand on her shoulder.

Shaking her head, Miki laughed softly and said, “You sound just like my Dad, Rick.”

“Then your Dad was a very wise man, luv,” Sav answered. “If you give up on your dreams, you die.”

“I already gave up on the music,” she whispered. “It just doesn’t seem to matter that much anymore, you know? I used to dream about being on stage almost every night when I fell asleep, but not any more. It’s not even in my day dreams now...”

“You’ve got to have a dream to stay alive, Shelly,” Sav insisted.

“But a dream can change, can’t it?” she said, turning away from him without warning.

Sav stepped in behind her, his hands tentatively moving around her waist and pulling her gently against his chest. He wondered for a moment if she was going to get upset by his sudden contact and cursed himself for a fool as he prepared to release her at the slightest sign of fear. Much to his surprise, she took a deep breath and laid her head back on his shoulder. Her sigh was one of sudden contentment as she relaxed into his embrace.

“So what are you dreaming about now, Shelly?” he whispered softly into her ear. “And if you tell me it’s sitting behind a desk, pushing around papers for eight hours a day, I’ll know your lying.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t say,” she murmured. “If I talk about it, it may never happen and then won’t I look like a fool?”

“Just tell me, luv.” His breath was a hot stirring of air over her earlobe as the barely audible words crossed his lips.

Suddenly Miki pulled away from him and walked across the garden to a small marble bench her father had put in the garden years before. Her head hung down as she fought with her demons, trying to make herself form words that would leave her completely and finally vulnerable to the man standing in front of her.

“There’s only one thing that runs through my day dreams all the time now, Rick,” she started, then her voice broke with fear and uncertainty. Tears formed in her emerald eyes as she looked up at him and said with a slow exhalation of breath, “Being with you, Rick. That’s all I dream about now.”

Sav fell to his knees in front of her, an shy smile playing across his face as he asked, “Really? Shelly, are you sure that’s what you want?” She nodded without a word and he cupped her face in his hands, forcing her to look at him as he said, “If that’s your dream, Shel, it’s one dream I can make come true gladly.” Looking into her hopeful, tear filled eyes, he whispered, “It’s a dream I think I’ve always wanted to make come true, baby. Come back on tour with me, please?”

The damn holding back Miki’s tears suddenly broke and they streamed down her face as she nodded silently and let Sav pull her into his arms. Running his fingers through her hair, he pulled her into his chest and simply held her tight for the longest time. Then, with a gentle kiss on her forehead, he said softly, “Let’s go in and rescue your mother from Deana and Phil. Then we can tell her you won’t be going to that interview tomorrow after all. You’re coming back with me...”

“Are you sure that’s what you want, Rick?” she whispered. “What if I freak out again? Are you sure you can handle it?”

“I’ll be ready for it next time, luv,” he answered with a confident smile. “I wasn’t last time, but I will be now. Just give me that chance, okay, Shelly?” She pulled back from him and looked into his eyes, seeing the sincerity of his love for her shining back at her.

“Okay,” she whispered quietly, though inside she still wasn’t sure she was doing the right thing.

Holding out his hand, Sav looked down at her and said, “Let’s go deal with your mother, for now. We’ll see what happens after when it happens, all right?”

“Yeah,” she sighed, letting him lead her slowly into the house.

As soon as they crossed the threshold of the building, Miki could hear Deana and her mother screaming at each other.

“Aunt Sharon, if you’d ever even bothered to go see Miki play, you’d know she’s got a future in the music business!” Deana yelled crossly.

“And if you and her father had just quit encouraging this nonsense, she’d be living a normal life now!” Sharon retorted.

“This is a normal life,” Miki said softly, stepping away from Sav and facing her angry mother. “For me, at least...”

“Michelle, you’ll not be going back to that stupidity,” her mother said hotly. “It’s time for you to grow up and be responsible.”

“I am responsible, Mother,” she sighed, refusing for once to let her mother get under her skin. Sav put a comforting hand on her shoulder as she said, “I’m responsible only for me, not for what happens to other people...”

“Oh, so you’re saying you’re not to blame for me losing your father, are you?” Sharon hissed.

“No, Mom, I’m not responsible for that,” Miki answered quietly. “And you’re not going to blame me for it, either. Deana was right. There’s a lot of reasons why I might not have been able to check in on Grandma that day. It’s not my fault Dad is gone...”

“So what are you going to do, then, young lady?” her mother said angrily. “Lay about the apartment all day and wait for someone to hire your band again?”

“NO, mother,” she said patiently. “Rick’s asked me to join him on tour...”

“As what, his slut?”

“No, ma’am,” Sav interrupted. “As my girlfriend.”

“Oh, this ought to last what, about a week?” Sharon said crossly. Turning to face Miki, her mother said, “I’ll see you in a few days, then we’ll see about your future, won’t we?”

“No, Mom, we won’t,” Miki said finally, letting Sav take her by the hand and motioning for Phil and Deana to follow them out of the house.

“Wow, when’d you learn to handle your Mom so well?” Deana laughed as they made it to the car.

“When Rick showed up,” she whispered as Sav put his arm around her shoulders.

As soon as they reached the airport, Phil managed to get them booked on the first flight out to the next city on the tour. The rest of the band was already in town waiting on them. As soon as they got to the hotel, they headed into the restaurant for dinner and found Joe and Bobbi just finishing their own meal.

“So, he managed to drag you back, huh?” Joe said with a smile.

“Yeah, I think he twisted my arm to get me here,” Miki grinned.

“For what, all of a split second?” Deana laughed with a raised eyebrow.

“Whatever!” Miki chuckled, turning into Sav’s body to hide her sudden embarrassment. Joe and Bobbi rose from the table and Joe laid a hand on Miki’s shoulder as he said, “I’m glad you came back, Miki. Sav’s been miserable without you.”

“Thanks, Joe,” she whispered as she looked up at him. Then she glanced up and saw Sav staring down at her with a wide smile on his face as he said, “No, thanks, Shelly.” He leaned down and whispered, “I love you, Shelly.”

“I love you, too, Rick.”