“All outbound flights are delayed until the snow storm outside lets up. We are sorry for any inconvenience this causes, but for the safety of our flight crew, this is necessary. Please check with your airline’s ticket counter for information.”
“Bullshit!” Leah hissed as she slammed her guitar case down. She looked around in frustration as she thought “How the hell am I going to get to New York now?” After a minute, she made her way to the counter, only to be told that the delay could last as long as five hours. She slumped down into a chair in the corner and looked around at the nearly empty waiting room.
“Might as well put the time to good use,” she whispered as she pulled out her guitar. Absently, she plucked the strings to make sure it was in tune. A moment later, she was strumming out a soft tune, just playing around really. Her mind was still on the regret of not leaving the night before with the rest of her band when she realized someone had come into the waiting area with her. Tuning out the other person, she started working through a song she couldn’t get out of her head. Stumbling over a bridge, she started when the person sitting not far from her said, “Why don’t you try that with a C chord under it?”
“What?” she asked in confusion. Then she looked at the man, his disheveled blond hair falling across his face as he stared down at the floor. He looked sadly back up at her and said again, “Try playing that with a C under it. It’ll work better that way, I think.”
“Um, okay,” she said softly as she restarted the song. When she got to the part that had been giving her trouble, it played perfectly just as the man had suggested. She looked back over at him and said, “Thanks, man. I’ve been trying to get that right for a week now.”
“No problem,” he said quietly as he got up to go.
“You play?” she asked quickly, not ready to let him walk away so soon.
“I used to,” he answered softly. “But I haven’t been able to lately.”
“Are you trying to get to New York?” she said quickly as he started to turn away again.
“Yeah, but it doesn’t look like I’m going to make it tonight,” he sighed. “Hell of a way to spend Christmas eve, isn’t it?”
“Don’t I know it!” she said, finally looking into the man’s eyes. “Jesus, I know you, don’t I?”
“I doubt it,” he murmured.
“I mean, I know who you are,” she said, trying to keep him from going away again.
“Yeah, luv, and I’m well aware of who you are,” he said, a smile finally crossing his “I’ve heard your band a few times. You guys are really good, Leah.”
“I could say the same about Def Leppard, Mr. Stephen Clark,” she smiled. “You guys are terrific!”
“Well, thanks,” Steve whispered, suddenly preoccupied again. “Listen, I’m gonna head over to the hotel and see if I can get a room. There’s no sense in staying here all night and trying to sleep in one of these bloody chairs. How about you?”
“Actually, that doesn’t sound like such a bad idea,” she sighed. “These chairs don’t look terribly comfortable for an all night stay.” Slipping her guitar back into its case, she rose and said, “Show me the way!”
Leading her to a hotel that was part of the airport complex, Steve headed straight for the registration desk. Looking at the clerk, he asked, “Can we get two rooms?”
She started typing into the computer in front of her, then shook her head and said, “I’m sorry, sir, we only have one room available.”
“Bullocks!” Steve cursed as he turned back to Leah. “You take the bloody room. I’ll just sack out on the couch.”
“No, wait,” Leah answered after a moment’s thought. Looking at the desk clerk, she asked, “Can we get a hide-a-bed?”
“Certainly, ma’am,” the girl said quickly, glad Leah had turned Steve’s frustration away from her. “Here’s the key and we’ll have that cot up to your room in just a few minutes.”
“There,” she said, turning back to Steve. “We’ll share the room and I’ll just sleep on the hide-a-bed!”
He looked down at the floor, then back up at her and said, “Let me take the smaller bed, please?”
“No, you’re taller, you get the big bed,” she smiled. “Beside that, I just came off tour, so I’m still used to nasty sleeping conditions. You, on the other hand, have been in cushy beds for how many months.”
“All right,” he sighed. “My lady? Shall we retire to our VERY humble sleeping quarters?”
“Certainly,” she laughed as he motioned her towards the elevator. The ride up was quiet as Steve seemed to get lost in his own thoughts. By the time they reached their floor, Leah was wondering just what was running through his mind at that moment. But she couldn’t ask, knowing how much her own privacy meant to her. If he wanted to talk about it, well, she’d be there to listen. Until then, she kept quiet and let Steve move silently around their room. She sat in a chair by the window and watched him pull a silver flask out of his pocket, then take a long drink. He offered it to her and she drank a sip of what turned out to be whiskey before giving it back to him.
“Listen,” he said softly. “I’m pretty tapped out, so do you mind if we just hit the bed?”
“Sure, but,” she paused, still wishing this didn’t feel so invading. “Steve, honestly, are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” he answered absently. “Just tired, so if you don’t mind?”
“Oh, give me just a minute to change and I’ll be ready to go to sleep,” she said, pulling her shorts and t-shirt out of her carry-on bag. Slipping into the bathroom, she changed clothes quickly and headed back out into the bedroom. Steve was already laying in the bed half asleep. So she switched off the light and made her way to the cot. It had been such a long, stressful day of trying to get home, she was sleeping in just minutes.
Deep in the night, Leah woke to the sounds of sobbing coming from the bed. Confused, she sat up and tried to remember exactly were she was. She could still hear muffled crying sounds, even as the man on the bed turned over and buried his face into the pillow. Then she remembered. Steve.
“Steve?” she whispered. “Are you okay?”
When he didn’t answer, Leah moved quietly over to the bed and knelt down beside it. Brushing his long blond hair back from his face, she leaned down and asked again, quietly, “Steve?”
“What...huh?” Steve said sleepily as he jerked awake. He pulled away from her, but she could see the trails of his tears from the light of the street outside.
“Steve, please, tell me what’s wrong,” she whispered. “You’ve got a willing ear here and after you tell me, you’ll never have to see me again.”
“Don’t, Leah,” he said roughly. “Just forget this and go back to sleep.”
Leah turned on the light and watched him shield his eyes as he looked away from her. Climbing up beside him, she said, “Steve, this is probably absolutely none of my business. But you look so unhappy, I just want to do something to help. Please, let me feel useful here at least?” She turned his face back to hers and said, “I’m not trying to pry, Steve, and I know how hard privacy is to get when you’re famous. My group is nowhere near as big as Leppard and it’s already impossible to go anywhere without someone recognizing me. So I can respect that. But, you look, I don’t know, past that. You look so lonely tonight, like you’re in severe need of a friendly face. I know Leppard is like a family. Maybe you should call one of your friends if you can’t talk to me?”
Pushing his hair back out of his face, he looked at her and said, “You know, those guys are the last ones I need to talk to right now. They put me on a leave of absence from the band, cuz they’re convinced I need to get help for my drinking. I just talked to Peter, our manager, yesterday and he basically said that if I’m still drinking they may have to find someone else to play with them.”
“I’m sorry, Steve,” she whispered quietly. “Have you tried rehab?”
“I don’t bloody need rehab, but yes, I’ve been there,” he said angrily. He started up off the bed, but she grabbed his arm and said, “Steve, I’m not against you here. I was just asking, okay?”
He gripped the blanket hard, then sighed and looked at her. “I’m sorry, luv,” he replied softly. “I’ve just heard it so fucking much from the others, it’s sickening.”
“I’m sure,” she answered. “But I’m guessing they’re just all worried about you, that’s all.”
“You don’t understand,” he said in frustration. “That just makes it so much worse!”
“How can knowing people care make things worse, Steve?” she questioned, not understanding where he was coming from suddenly. He got up off the bed and said sadly, “Because, it just makes me realize how much I’m letting them all down. Listen, I already know I’m going to be out of the group, understand that? That band has been there my entire adult life, but it’s not going to be for much longer. I just don’t know what’s going to happen to me once it’s all over...”
“Steve, does it have to happen this way?” she asked softly. “I mean, if you know it’s causing so many problems in your life, why not give up the booze and stuff?”
He slumped down into the chair and looked out the window, not wanting to face what he was really about to say. Then he shook his head and said, “I can’t. If I do...no, I just can’t, okay?”
Leah got up off the bed and knelt down in front of him, saying softly, “Why do I get the feeling you’re not telling me something, Steve? What’s so fucking important about the alcohol that you won’t give it up?” Her hand covered his gently, trying to let him know she really was there to listen to what he had to say. At first, she thought he was just going to ignore her. Then he looked down into her eyes and said, “You probably don’t really want to know this.”
“Steve, I do,” she answered softly.
“If I’m drunk, I don’t hear them as much,” he whispered.
“Don’t hear what, Steve?” she asked quietly.
“The voices in my head,” he said in a voice barely above a whisper.
Sitting back hard on her heels, she said in a horrified whisper, “Oh God, Steve, when did that start?”
“Leah, I’ve had them all my life, but the alcohol shuts them up for a little while,” he sighed.
“Have you ever told the doctor about them?” she asked quietly.
“Hell, the damn doctor doesn’t know what causes it,” he said, the anger returning to his voice. “Nobody bloody well does! All I know is that it fucking hurts and I just want to be numb...”
“Steve, numb isn’t good, can you understand that?” she said carefully. He’d just made a major statement to her and she didn’t want to alienate him now. Her hand tightened over his as she said, “You need help and you know it, don’t you?”
“Of course I know it,” he said, his tone taking on a hostile air. “I’ve seen all the doctors I ever care to in rehab!”
“No, not like that,” she said, shaking her head. “They’re only there to deal with the alcohol and I don’t think that’s what you need. You need to deal why the reason why you drink, not the drinking itself. I think the booze is just a symptom of a much bigger issue. Once you get to that, you’ll be able to give up the alcohol much easier.”
“What the bleeding hell are you, a fucking shrink?” he said crossly, though what she was saying made a bit of sense.
“No, but I was going to be, before the band took off,” she said with a small laugh. “I studied it for three years, then we got the record contract and I gave it up for my music.”
“Fucking figures,” he said, shaking his head and laughing as the situation really hit him. “Leave it to me to wander into the airport and find myself the musical shrink!”
She watched as the smile finally reached his eyes. It was the first real smile she’d seen from him all night and she was relieved to see it. Covering his hand with both of hers, she said, “Life’s not all bad, now is it?”
“Well, I’ve got to say it’s looking up right now,” he grinned as his hand grasped hers. “Thanks, Leah.”
“For what?”
“Just being here tonight,” he said softly.
“Don’t thank me,” she chuckled. “Thank the weather man!”
“Or God,” he said in a hushed voice. “Maybe he knew just how to turn things around for me, huh?”
“I hope you can turn it around, Steve,” she answered. “And I’ll do anything I can to help you, I promise. If you need someone, you can just call me and I’ll be there for you.”
“Thanks, luv,” he whispered, looking deep into her eyes for the first time. “It’s nice to know that someone who was a complete stranger a few hours ago cares enough to say that.” He looked around uneasily and said, “Well, I guess we’d best get back to sleep, huh?”
“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea,” she sighed.
“Um, Leah?” he said uncomfortably. “I hate to ask you for this, cuz you’ve already been so good by listening to me. But, could you sleep with me tonight?” He stammered for a moment, then said, “I don’t mean, you know, *sleep* with me...um, I just don’t want to be alone tonight.”
Leah pulled him to his feet and ran her hand softly over his cheek, then said, “If you want me to, Steve, I don’t have any problem sharing a bed with you. Whatever you need, just ask, okay?”
“Thanks, luv,” he whispered as she led him over to the bed. She pulled him down next to her and turned off the lights, then snuggled down into his arms. Her head rested on his chest as she heard his breathing slow into sleep. She laid there with him for an hour, watching his features in the dimmed light of the street lamps, before finally letting herself fall asleep as well.
The shrill of the phone jarred both of them awake the next morning and Leah groggily answered it. She listened as the caller spoke, then said, “Thanks. We’ll be there. Goodbye.” Turning back into Steve’s body, she whispered, “That was the airline. They can get us on a flight in an hour.”
“Oh,” Steve murmured, wishing that they could stay right where they were longer. He looked down at her and said sadly, “I guess we’d better get going then, huh?”
“Yeah,” she sighed, reluctantly moving away from him. Then she turned back to him and kissed him full on the mouth, leaving Steve stammering as she pulled away again. She was halfway across the room when Steve finally managed to say, “What just happened?”
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that,” she said with her back still to him. “I, just, I, um, I just wanted to...that’s all.” Then she closed the bathroom door quietly behind her.
Steve was up off the bed in a shot, moving quickly to the bathroom and reopening the door. He found her leaning over the bathroom sink, staring at her own face in the mirror. “Leah?” he said softly. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry, Steve,” she said without looking at him. “You’ve got to think I’m some kind of retard to kiss you like that.”
“No, luv, I don’t,” he said, pulling her around to face him. “I’m just surprised, that’s all. I mean, you know what kind of freak I am” he pointed to his head “up here. I’m surprised you’d want to kiss me after that.”
“Steve, there’s a lot more to you than just an illness,” she sighed, still looking away from him. “Just like you’re not just a rock star either. There’s a good man under all that.”
“How do you know that?” he asked uncertainly. “You just met me yesterday!”
“I’m a good judge of character,” she laughed, trying to pull away from him. But he wouldn’t let her go until she finally looked up at him. “Steve, just forget it happened, okay? You‘ve got enough to deal with without me in the way.”
“You’re the first person who’s really looked at me in years,” he whispered. “The first one who’s tried to see past the drunk and seen the man behind it. I can’t forget it and I refuse to forget you!” With that said, Steve crushed her lips with his own. Closing her eyes, Leah let her body melt into his. Her hands tangled their way through the mass of his messy blond hair as she held him to her.
“I don’t want you to leave me today,” Steve whispered urgently into her ear. “Please!”
“I have to,” she replied sadly, but she didn’t let go of him. “We’ve both got lives we have to go back to. But, we’ve still got a little while longer together, don’t we?”
Instead of answering her, he picked her up and carried her back to the bed they’d shared the night before. His kiss pleaded with her not to go as she pulled him down with her. Feeling the heat of her body under him just made him that much more desperate to be with her. Leah raked her fingernails down the skin of his back as his hips went between her thighs, his hardness apparent against her. His hands slipped under the thin fabric of her t-shirt, gently teasing the hard peaks of her nipples as his body ground down into hers. She let out a moan as her hands moved down his back and grabbed the wide leather belt at his waist. Holding it tightly, she pulled his body down into hers as he lifted her shirt carefully up over her breast. His mouth closed over her, his tongue gently flicking out over the taut flesh.
Her hands trailed over the smooth flesh of his sides as she reached between them and slowly undid the belt. She heard a moan escape his throat as she tugged at the buttons of his jeans, then slipped her hand inside the soft denim. His whole body went tense as her hand closed over his manhood.
His fingers wound through her hair as he moved back up to her mouth, capturing it roughly with his own. He kissed down her jaw and she could feel the hot breath against her ear as he whispered, “Leah, I want you! PLEASE!”
She let out a long breath as chills ran through her body at those words. Pushing his jeans down off his slender hips, she rasped, “Please, Steve, take me then!”
There was a moment of cool air between them as he leaned down and removed her shorts, skinning them down her long legs before returning to her. He looked deep into her eyes, the curtain of his pale hair closing out the world around them as he sank slowly into her body. He felt her fingers digging into his buttocks, pulling him ever deeper into her. Her lips were parted and her eyes half closed, the look of passion on her face unmistakable as she moved with him. Their breath came rapidly as he thrust slowly into her waiting womb. His chest teased her nipples as he kissed her with building heat.
“Oh, God, Leah!” he gasped as their movements built to a fever pitch.
“STEVE,” she cried as her body spiraled over the final edge into her private ecstasy. “OH, please, Steve, cum with me! PLEASE!”
Her fingernails dug into his back, an exquisite pain that pushed him through the barrier to his climax as he groaned, “I am, Leah. OH, Jesus, I am!”
He collapsed into her arms, his body spent and exhausted against her. They lay there for long minutes before he finally whispered, “Merry Christmas, Leah.”
“Merry Christmas, Steve,” she sighed, then kissed him firmly on the mouth. Then the realization hit her and she said, “I’m sorry, but we’ve really got to go now.”
“I know,” he whispered, pulling away from her reluctantly. They slowly moved around the room, getting dressed and throwing their things back into their cases. With a long sigh, Steve took her by the hand and led her out of the room where they spent the night. Neither of them said much as they walked back into the airport, the silence comforting rather than frightening.
When they checked in at the airline, Steve managed to get them seats together on the plane. They settled in for the flight, Leah laying her head on Steve’s shoulder as they flew through the winter morning. Just before the plane came in for it’s landing, Leah looked at Steve and said, “Steve, you know I’ll be right here waiting for you if you ever need me, right?”
“I know,” he sighed. “But how am I going to find you, luv?”
“Stewardess?” she said quickly as one of the flight attendants walked past.
“Yes, ma’am?” the woman answered.
“Can I get some paper and a pen?” Leah asked.
“Certainly, just a moment,” the attendant answered with a smile. She returned a moment later with a small pad and an ink pen.
“Thanks,” Leah said absently as she started to scribble on the pad. “This is my number and address at home. The band is meeting back there after the holidays to tried and start recording, so I should be there for a good long while.” Handing the paper to Steve, she smiled and said, “Feel free to call me or stop by whenever you want to, okay?”
“Thanks,” he whispered as he kissed her gently. Then there wasn’t time for more conversation as the pilot announced they were coming in for a landing. She squeezed his hand tightly through the bustle of the landing, then they grabbed their things and disembarked from the plane.
“Do you have any lay over before your flight to England?” she asked quietly.
“Actually, no,” he sighed. “They got me on a connecting flight that leaves in...half an hour. I’ve barely got enough time to get through the customs as it is.”
“I’ll walk you there, at least,” she said sadly. When they reached the international flights area, they put their bags down and held each other tightly for a long moment before Steve said, “I’ll see you soon, I promise.”
“Then I’ll be waiting for you,” she said as tears pricked at her eyes. Trying to hide them from him, she brushed the tiny droplets from her eyes and smiled up at him. But he saw them anyway and said, “Don’t cry over this, luv. I’m not really worth it, okay?”
“You are to me,” she whispered roughly, pulling him back into her arms. “I better see you damn soon, you hear?”
“You will,” he answered quietly. Then he had to got into the customs area, where only ticketed flyers were allowed. When he got to the other side of the gate, he turned and blew her a kiss before walking out of sight.
Leah did her best to go back to her usual life after that, though she raced to the phone every time it rang. But Steve never called during the first couple of weeks when she was back in the studio. Wondering if he’d forgotten her, she resolved to move on with her life and put that one wonderful day behind her.
“LEAH!” called her guitarist, Jason. “Leah! Get in here!”
“What’s going on?” she asked crossly, wondering why anyone was bothering her during their break from recording.
“You’ve got to see this!” Jason urged, pointing to the television. Image after of image of Steve flashed on the screen, the voice over talking about his life. She froze, wondering how Jason had figured out what had happened between her and Steve. That was the only reason he would have called her in at that moment. Then Kurt Loder came on the screen and said the words that turned Leah’s blood to stone.
“Steve Clark, dead at age thirty.”
Dropping to her knees, Leah let out a shriek that scared Jason to death. He jumped up off the couch and threw his arms around her, trying to calm her down as the everyone in the house raced in to find out what was wrong. Leah was incoherent as everyone turned to Jason for an explanation.
“I don’t know what’s gong on,” he stammered, still rocking her sobbing form in his arms. “I called her in here cuz MTV news was running a story that said Steve Clark was dead, then she just freaked out!”
“Oh fuck,” Annette hissed as she pulled Leah away from him. “Guys, you remember that guy she was waiting for the call from?”
“Yeah?” Alex said, the confusion in his voice clear.
“She didn’t want anyone else to know, but it was Steve Clark,” Annette whispered, running her hand over Leah’s hair. Leah just continued to sob in her bass guitarist’s arms as the others stared down at them in disbelief.
“What are you talking about?” Jason said angrily. “She and Clark were...”
“Yes, Jason, they were,” Annette said softly. Then Leah let out a howl of pain, grabbing her stomach and curling into a fetal position. Her face was contorted with the horrendous wave of hurt that tore through her abdomen. “Fuck, Jas, call an ambulance! Something’s really wrong with her now!”
The group of people broke away as two of the guys picked Leah up and carried her to the living room, laying her gently on the couch as she clutched at her stomach. Jason was on the phone in a moment, calling for an ambulance. The others gathered in the studio, words escaping them as the reality of the situation hit them.
The EMT’s bustled into the house five minutes later, getting Leah onto a gurney and whisking her away in the ambulance. The rest of the band got into two cars and followed closely behind it. In the emergency waiting area, all three of Leah’s band mates plus the producer and everyone else who’d been at her house, waited impatiently four the doctor’s verdict.
“Net, why didn’t she tell us about her and Steve?” Alex asked quietly.
“She wasn’t sure what was going to happen between them, so she thought she’d keep it to herself a while,” Annette sighed. “Considering he never called, I guess she had the right idea. But she wasn’t counting on the bastard dying on her.”
“If I’d have known, I wouldn’t have called her in there like that,” Jason said quietly.
“It’s not your fault, Jas,” Annette said quickly, squeezing his hand tightly. “She was just being her usual closed mouth self about it. But from the little she said to me, I get the feeling he meant a lot to her.” Just then, the doctor came into the waiting area and began to look around for someone.
“The family of Leah Cryder?”
“That’s us, or as close as you get to it,” Annette said quickly, motioning the doctor over.
“How is she, doc?” Alex asked quietly.
“She’s going to be fine, but she needs complete bed rest if she’s going to keep the baby,” the doctor answered in an ordering tone.
“BABY?” Jason stuttered. “What baby?”
“Your friend is in the very earliest stages of pregnancy, I’d guess maybe two or three weeks at best,” the doctor said quickly. “Which, in this case is a good thing, because the shock she just went through would have caused a miscarriage in someone further along.”
“Holy shit,” Jason gasped as he slumped back into his chair.
“Oh God, does she know yet?” Annette asked quietly.
“I’ve just told her, as well as explained her need for rest in the next few weeks,” the doctor answered.
“Can we take her home?” Jason asked.
“Yes, but she’s to stay in the bed for at least the next forty eight hours, to insure her body recovers from the shock,” the doctor said quietly. “She’ll be out momentarily.” With that, the doctor turned and headed back into the ER.
Stunned looks passed all around the waiting area and no one knew what to say. Annette’s eyes teared up, wondering just how Leah was reacting to the news. Jason looked at them and said, “I’m guessing this record just got put on the waaaaay back burner.”
“Yeah, she’s gonna need time to deal with this one,” Alex answered.
“Somehow, guys, if I know Leah, the record is gonna be first in her mind for a while,” Annette whispered.
“What?” Jason laughed. “She’s not gonna be in any shape to record!”
“Jason, how’d Leah deal with it when her folks died?” Annette asked softly.
“Wrote a fucking brilliant song, then cried for a week!” Alex answered.
“Exactly,” Annette sighed as an attendant wheeled Leah out to where they were waiting. No one knew what to say to her. Then she did the last thing they expected. She gave them all a small smile.
“Leah,” Annette said uncertainly. “You okay?”
“I've been better,” she said softly.
“I’m sorry for the way you found out about...” Jason started.
“Don’t worry,” she whispered. “You didn’t know.”
“So what now?” Alex asked quietly.
“My bed for two days first,” she said with a long breath. “Then, lots of rest and we’ll have to go slow on recording this record.”
“You still up for recording, or do you think you’ll need a break first?” Alex said.
“No, I need to work,” she answered. Then, as her hand covered her stomach, she said softly, “I’ve got more than me to think of now and it’s all I have left of him. I’ll be damned if I’m gonna mope around and risk this baby!”
“Okay, well, let’s get you back home then,” Annette said, hoping against all hope that Leah could keep this positive attitude towards things, even with Steve gone.
Bundling her into the car, they drove home in silence while everyone contemplated just this would mean to their future as a band. What if Leah decided to give up? And how would she manage to keep going as a single mother? Jason carried her up to her bedroom and tucked her into bed, then walked back down into the living room.
The others were waiting there, still mulling over what had happened. They stared at each other in silence until there was a knock at the door. Annette went to answer it and froze as soon as she opened the door.
Annette knocked on Leah’s door and heard her say, “Come in.”
“Leah, you’ve got some visitors,” Annette said quietly, moving aside and letting one man come into the room. Leah gasped as she recognized Phil Collen, Steve’s band mate.
“Come on in, Mr. Collen,” she said breathlessly.
“Please, call me Phil, Ms. Cryder,” Phil said with a smile.
“Okay, Phil, call me Leah,” she said uncertainly. “Not to be rude, but seeing you here is a major surprise I have to say.”
“Well, I’ve got something to tell you, but I’m not sure if this is a good time,” he answered quietly. “Your mates told me you were ill...”
“I’m not sick, I’m pregnant,” she whispered softly, not sure if she wanted to tell Phil who the father was. The expression on his face changed quickly, going to one of concern.
“Leah, I’ve got to ask this,” he said quietly. “Is Steve this father?”
“How did you know?” she gasped in surprise.
“He told me what happened between you two,” Phil sighed. “Man, this could make things harder...”
“What?” she asked, even more confused now than ever. “At least some little part of him will still be alive now.”
“Ugh, I wish you hadn’t put it that way,” Phil said quietly. “Um, Leah, there’s something I’ve got to tell you.”
“Leah?” came a voice from the door way. She looked up and tears sprang immediately to her eyes as she whispered hoarsely, “How?” Turning to Phil, she hissed, “What is this?”
The man walked slowly over to the side of her bed as Leah moved further away from him. He sat down on the side of her bed, then looked at Phil. “You haven’t told her yet?”
“No, mate, she had something just as important to tell me,” Phil answered, then he looked at Leah. “Luv, I know this is going to be hard, but you’ve got to try to understand what I’m about to say...”
“There’s a fucking ghost sitting on the side of my bed and you’re telling me to try and understand?” she said, heading quickly into hysterics.
“I’m not a ghost,” he whispered. “Baby, please, it’s me, Steve!”
“But, but, they said you were dead,” she cried.
“I just had to get out,” Steve sighed. “Rather than take a chance that once I get things straightened out, I’d go back to the band, I decided to put an end to it for good. That life was the worst thing for me right now.”
“You faked this?” she hissed. “And you couldn’t even tell me about it before I heard it on the news?”
“Baby, I lost your phone number,” he said, reaching a hand out to her. “Peter called your manager and got your address, but he forgot to get your number for me again.”
“So what happens now?” she asked, looking at Phil rather than Steve. Her hand covered her stomach when she finally looked at Steve, knowing he still didn’t know about the baby.
“Aren’t you happy to see me here at all?” he whispered, the look of hurt unmistakable on his face.
She let out a slight nervous laugh and said, “You really have no idea how glad I am you’re okay. But there’s something you’ve got to know before we have some kind of joyous reunion.”
“This is where I exit,” Phil said quickly, getting to his feet. “It was nice to meet you, Leah.”
“Oh, you’re not sticking around?” Steve asked quickly. “I thought you were going to stay til I found out what was happening with her?”
“Trust me, mate,” Phil said, shaking his head. “I don’t think you’ve got anything to worry about.” Turning back to Leah, he said, “Take care of him for me, okay?”
Puzzled, she gave Phil a confused look and said, “Okay, I’ll try to. Why don’t you stay just a bit longer, okay, Phil? Just to be on the safe side?”
“Okay, I’ll go down with the others,” Phil sighed with a shrug of his shoulders. As he walked slowly out of the room, Steve looked down at her and said, “Okay, what’s your big news?”
“I’m pregnant,” she whispered, then turned away from him.
“What?” he said with narrowed eyes. “When did you find this out?”
“When I got taken to the hospital this morning,” she said, refusing to look at him.
“Who’s is it?” he whispered.
“I’m about two weeks along, so you do the math,” she answered crossly.
A look of wonder crossed Steve’s face as he realized what she was saying. “You mean...it’s mine?”
“Yes,” she answered softly.
“God,” Steve said, disbelief coming into his voice. “I’m going to be a father?”
“That’s up to you,” she said, her voice breaking at the words. “When I thought you were dead, I was going to raise this baby alone, so I can still do that.”
“Hell no!” Steve laughed, moving her face around to look at him. “Baby, I came here to see if you wanted to give us a chance, you know, for good. I’m not running away just because of a baby!” A broad grin crossed his face as he said, “I want you and I want the baby.”
“Are you sure, Steve?”
“More sure than you’ll ever know,” he whispered as he leaned in to kiss her gently.
“Um, Steve?”
“Yeah, luv?” he asked as he wrapped her in his arms and snuggled into the bed with her.
“If ‘Steve Clark’ is dead, who are you now?” she said, a slight giggle following her words.
“Well, that took a good bit of thought, but I do have a new name now,” he sighed. “Since I met you on Christmas, I decided to go with Nicholas Mays.”
“How’s that got to do with Christmas,” she laughed.
“Cuz it had to be good old St. Nick that put you on my flight that day,” he said, kissing her on the top of her head. “Meeting you was the best Christmas present I ever got.”