“Oh, shit! Hey, Phil, we got in the paper!” Sav called, waving around a newspaper he’d found laying on the bus. “But I don’t think you’re gonna like it!”

“Huh? Why not?” Phil asked, puzzled as to why he in particular wasn’t going to like an article. “What’d they do, slag my guitar playing or something?”

“Just read it!” Sav laughed, handing him the paper.

Phil started reading and everything was going along fine until he got to the point where the talked about the members of the band individually. “What the fuck!?!”

Sav was really busting up as Phil read how the members of Def Leppard were Joe Elliott, Rick Savage, Rick Allen, Vivian Campbell and Phil Collins, formerly of Genesis. It went on to say that, while Phil Collins time of arrival within the band was uncertain, he had done double duty during the eighties with both bands. Phil slammed the paper down in frustration and said, “What kind of fucking hack writer is that? Hello? C-o-l-l-e-n not C-o-l-l-i-n-s!”

Sav was laughing so hard, he was almost rolling on the floor. Phil eyed him suspiciously and said, “Is this one of your practical jokes, mate?”

“No way! I found it here on the bus!” Sav laughed, holding up a hand as he tried to calm down. The article in question was a review of one of the earlier dates on their current Adrenalize tour and apparently the reporter hadn’t actually attended the show. Either that, or he had no knowledge of the music industry! By the time the band made it into the hotel that morning, they were all laughing hysterically at the reporter’s blunder. Everyone but Phil, that is. He was still fuming about it when he headed up to his room and didn’t notice a familiar buzzing in his brain.

He opened the door and found Steve and Lisel sitting on his bed, laughing away as they kissed. Steve saw the newspaper Phil was still carrying and snickered, asking, “Have a nice read, mate?”

Phil looked at him for a moment, wondering how he’d known about the article. The realization dawned on him and he threw the paper at Steve, yelling, “You fucking bastard! How’d you manage to get that on the bus?”

“I’ll never tell, now will I?” Steve laughed. Phil pulled him in for a hug and said, “You know, I knew there was something I didn’t miss about you! Your fucking pranks!!”

“Ah, I’m crushed, mate,” Steve said with a mocking sigh. “So, everybody else head up to bed already?”

“Yeah, I think so,” Phil said. Then he caught that mischievous glint in Steve’s eye and said, “What are you thinking?”

“Me?” Steve said innocently. “Now what makes you think I’m up to something?”

“Because I KNOW you, Steve!” Phil laughed. “So, who’s it gonna be this time?”

“Um, you’ll see!” Steve laughed. “Wanna join me?”

“Hmm, now let me think...” Phil chuckled. “Of course! What’s next?”

“Well, I think Joe’s first,” Steve laughed. Then the three of them sat down and plotted out their strategies for the night.

The phone rang for Sav’s wake-up call and he stumbled his way into the shower. He lathered up his hair and rinsed it, then pulled out his conditioner. As soon as he ran it through his hair, he knew something was very wrong. He just couldn’t get it to rinse out! After ten minutes, he finally gave up and realized he was just going to have to deal with greasy looking hair. As he got out of the shower, he happened to look into the trash can and found the reason for his difficulties. An empty bottle of extra moisturizing hand lotion lay in the top of the can and Sav let out a scream. He tore out of his room, looking around to find out which one of his bandmates had pulled this prank. As soon as he hit the hallway, he heard Joe pounding furiously at his door, screaming to be let out. Sav walked over to his door and looked down at the handle, finding the interior part of the lock facing him. He unlocked it and Joe came busting out, looking for blood. He caught site of Sav’s hair and started laughing, saying, “What the fuck happened to you, mate?”

“Looks like we’ve got a practical joker on tour with us,” Sav mumbled. “Phil got it last night, I’ll bet, with a phony newspaper article.”

“So, who the fuck is it this time?” Joe laughed. They walked over to Rick’s door and knocked at it loudly. Rick answered it, wrapped in a blanket. Sav looked him over and said, “Um, shouldn’t you be dressed, mate?”

“Wanna lend me some clothes, then,” Rick huffed. “Mine seem to have grown legs and walked out on their own!”

“Well, guess it’s not Rick then,” Joe laughed as he headed for his room to get Rick something to wear. He was careful not to close his door, so that he didn’t get locked in again. Meanwhile, Sav explained the rest of the mornings happening to Rick. Joe returned with a shirt and pants for Rick, then they headed for Vivian’s room to see if he’d run foul of the joker as well. They knocked and heard Vivian mumble, “Go away, I’m not getting up til nine!”

“Mate, it’s almost ten!” Joe yelled in. A few seconds later, Vivian threw open the door and said, “What the fuck? My clock says 8:30!”

“Didn’t Mal call and get you up?” Sav asked.

“No, mate, my phone never rang!” Vivian said loudly. He walked over and found the ringer in the off position. “Someone turned the fucker off!”

Joe walked over and knocked on Phil’s door. Phil pulled it open and said, “What’s up?”

“So, our little joker didn’t get you, huh, Phil?” Joe said suspiciously.

“Someone got you guys again? I’d love to have seen that, since that lovely little article someone planted on the bus last night was a fake!” Phil said quietly. He grabbed his bags and headed for the restaurant, saying, “If you guys are gonna eat, you’d better hurry up and get downstairs!”

When Sav, Joe and Rick made it downstairs, the waiter came to their table and said, “Gentlemen, someone left you this note. Said to make sure you got it.”

“Thanks, mate,” Joe said as he tore it open. He read it over quickly and laughed, saying, “That sorry bastard!”

He passed the note to Sav, who read it out loud to the others:

Hey guys!

Just dropped by to say “hi!” and relive a few old times. Have a good time out on tour and see you soon!