Well, well, well, if it isn't the overweight midget that broke the pony's back...Welcome to the house of literary horrors, where sentences more verbose than one of don king's responses abound, common sense is exchanged for currency of much less value (think about that one for a second, hell, take seven and a half seconds if ya need it), useless knowledge is served ice cold, or slightly warmed for those of you who funnel...If you happen to be a first time visitor, perhaps you would enjoy the deluxe tour. Well ya know what, i would enjoy spending my days in a chemistry/physics lab just putzing around, occasionally blowing something off the face of the planet. This, unfortunately, can't be so at the moment because the fine faculty at Ursinus College are not done pumping full of mind dulling information so that i will lose all imagination and original thoughts relating to science, simply becoming a lab tech at DuPont. Speaking of DuPont, i might as well mention that DuPont is apparently the Disney World of Chemistry according to one female organic laboratory professor (hmm, wonder who that could be!!! PERSONAL HINT: i give exhaustive pre-lab lectures that could be applied to teaching Kindergartner's!!!) So, if you want a tour just hop on the magical mystery Septa bus...just keep waiting.....it will get there someday.....if your lucky....
Break out the good China because it’s time for a little tea party beyond the looking glass my friends. By now the good citizens of Collegeville are mad with envy, literally, thanks to the undergraduate studies of diligent young chemists at Ursinus College, and believe you me they want in on this party. But who doesn’t? It’s going to be a blast from your immediate past that unzips your pants, fondles you in the most unspoken about places, or most spoken about if your Dr. Joyce Ruthers, and then won’t even be around the next morning to cuddle. And no, i am not mentioning a run of the mill Ursinus student, even though they do have the reputation of being as promiscuous as Jennifer Lopez. Especially the males who think that they are unsuspecting in their ways to lure innocent women into acts of perversion....HA, yeah, come to my school to know how much of a joke that is!!! The guys and the women are equally guilty when it comes to promiscuity. Again, it must be something in the water because i’ve never seen anything like it, and speaking of which i still don’t see anything like it because i’m still single (my number is in the directory just in case your interested, but just know, i’m more selective than MIT, so in order to qualify for the semi’s you must pass a series of mental and physical challenges). Enough about my lack of marital status, if you wish to hear about any of my personal issues,though, please address them with my personal therapist and BEAT-ician, La Femme Nikita (just watch out, she seems pleasant at first glance, but follows up with a whole arsenal of whoop-ass).
As is my normal format of this page, i will be posting various pieces of whatever pops into my mind at the time on the site. This includes my true thoughts on steve “Q” hyde: “Man, Myth, Sex Beast? You be the Judge”. Now, there could be a few touching articles on religion and or political events that strike an interest, but i’m not promising anything. The last time i did that i ended up on the side of the road modeling a lovely pair of Sponge Bob Square Pants panties holding a nude photo of George Carlin. How did this happen you might be asking yourself. i honestly do not know. But i do know this, i closely resembled the boy from Powder at the time, except with red hair, and it took three days to wash the stink off. Prepare yourselves, then, to be educated in psychotic behavior, immaturity at its pinnacle, and pure disgust for the state of affairs that the world has shifted into.........
Prepare yourself for the Awakening
