BECOME A TAT[TLE] GROUPIE!
June 24 - posted by Webmaster
To become an official TAT[TLE] groupie like the ones in the poll below, VISIT HERE to send us some details on the form provided or send us your pic to/add us to MSN messenger at tattle69@hotmail.com & we'll get back to you. You too can have your pic on the site for people to vote for and become queen of the TAT[TLE] fans!

ROB DECLINES TO COMMENT ON EVENTS
June 22 - posted by Webmaster
Bassist Rob Robertson was approached by a tabloid newspaper today and asked to give his view on recent developments in TAT[TLE]. Rob just said 'I've nothing to say at this moment in time' before locking himself in his house. Here is an exclusive picture of Rob getting annoyed with photographers camped outside his house.




NEW SITE ADDITIONS SOON
June 21 - posted by Webmaster
Although TAT[TLE] may have their problems at the time being, this won't stop there being new additions to the site very soon. This will include photos, lyrics, news, and a new groupie poll! To vote in the current one before it closes, CLICK HERE FOR IT and choose your favourite.

TAT[TLE] 'VERY CONCERNED' ABOUT KEV
June 20 - posted by Webmaster
TAT[TLE] have confirmed KEV KEVERSON-REES will not join the band on their small UK tour and the other members of the group have issued a statement to NME.COM saying they are "very concerned for his well being".

As previously reported, the group have been touring Europe without Kev after he failed to show up for gigs. As a result they've been playing with their guitar tech in his place.

Earlier this week Kev announced he'd spoken to bandmate Seven Sevenson, and claimed Seven didn't want to perform with him in his "current condition".

Now, the other members of the band have issued a joint statement to the site explaining why they want to go ahead with their UK tour without him.

A statement reads: "TAT[TLE] are not splitting up and their future is secure.

"TAT[TLE] will be going ahead with their UK tour even though Kev will not appear at the shows.

"Kev is unwell and the band are very concerned for his well being, they have told him out of concern for his health that he needs to get better before he can rejoin them. They also want it to be known they fully support him through this difficult time.

"The band are going ahead with the tour and will be joined on guitar by former member Dai Jones, who is happy to rejoin the band without Kev there. It was an extremely difficult decision for the band to continue with the tour, but they decided they would proceed so as not to disappoint their fans, who they trust will understand the adverse situation they are in."

G-MAN SENTENCED TO JAIL TERM
June 19 - posted by Webmaster
TAT[TLE] member G-Man has been jailed for four years after being found guilty of possessing a loaded handgun.

Geraint Man, 22, from Caerphilly, was found guilty at London's Southwark Crown Court.

The court heard G-Man had apparently taken the modified Brocock into a West End premiere shortly before he and another band member were confronted by police.

When one of the officers went to search him, the "nervous and agitated" star fled and dumped the weapon on top of a bag of rubbish, the court heard.

He showed no reaction as the jury took just 90 minutes to unanimously reject claims the weapon was nothing to do with him despite his DNA being discovered on the gun butt.

The Jamaican-born performer, who has a nine-year criminal record involving 11 court appearances and 16 offences, was found guilty of one count of possessing the prohibited weapon on November 14 last year and one of possessing the seven rounds it contained. He had denied the charges.

The father of none, who wrote no songs for the band, and is not executive producer of TAT[TLE] or any other band, nodded slightly to the judge and said: "Thank you, hehe, Rage, mmm!" before being led to the cells.

TAT[TLE] FUTURE IN DOUBT?
June 17 - posted by Webmaster
TAT[TLE]'s future appears in doubt after Kev Keverson-Rees claimed bandmate Seven Sevenson doesn’t want him in the band.

The group have been touring without Kev this month after he failed to show up for gigs. As a result they’ve been playing with their guitar tech, Gerald in his place.

Now, according to a posting on a website, Kev and Seven have spoken, but Kev is unlikely to join the group for their forthcoming UK dates.

"Having spoken to Seven it is true - he does not want to play with me, in my current 'condition'," he wrote. "I'm not sure what he means but he's deadly serious and it’s settled.

"The lights are all on, it is clear. There is no use moaning about it, it's the way it is. I'm getting on with things without any of them, though god knows I love him. It's not happening anymore and it's the way it is. Fuck 'em."

Further news on these events when available.

KEV DOES DISSAPEARING ACT
June 15 - posted by Webmaster
'Where is KEV?' is a question the rest of TAT[TLE] have been asking after their eccentric joint-frontman disappeared on the eve of their European tour.

The band were taking off last week for eight dates in various locations, but, after waiting hours for Rees, he did not appear and they decided push on without him. As the clock ticked down to the band's first show, TAT[TLE] decided to replace Kev with a guitar tech called Gerald.

Two days later, the band moved down the road, but still no Kev. Again Gerald the guitar tech took over. When Kev still had not shown for a show in Aberdare, a crisis was developing.

However, Kev had resurfaced in Britain and explained that he went to ground because he had the hump with Seven.

On a long, rambling letter posted on a TAT[TLE] fan site the day the band left for Europe, Rees said he was peeved because Seven had not shown up to one of TAT[TLE]'s countless mini-shows.

"Seven did not show last night, as you know. For me... this is signal enough. I will not be in Park Street at 4.00pm today for the tourbus. I will not vent my rage and wonder and hope and arcadian sublimities alongside Mr Sevenson for now. How can I... he had promised to come. I'm so warped by having to play alone again that you'd not cherish my company..."

Kev claimed he was in Milton Keynes "on a path of healing," and the message board was immediately swamped with messages from concerned fans.

"Please look after yourself...just give Seven a ring," wrote Ed. "You're great Kev. I'd do anything for you," added an anonymous fan.

When asked why Kev had reacted in such a way, bandmate Finch Dino said: "I have no idea. I can't speak for him.

"It's important to get across that normal rules do not apply to TAT[TLE]" he added. He insisted the band's future was secure.

"We're not splitting up, they're not stopping playing music. They're not doing anything which isn't about being a Tattler."

ROB TALKS ABOUT NEW MATERIAL
May 10 - posted by Rob
now there will be no more fuckin' around!! we are in the vocal stage on the new shit!! we will have a single out before the tour (whenever that may be) and our new album will drop, FOR SURE, soon after!!!!!! sometimes you just have to go with the flow of creativity and we're doing just fucking that!! the new band is exploding at the seems. you're not gonna comprehend where we took this one. on the other hand, you will fully understand where are our heads are at. we had such a great time doing the Glamorgan summer ball. it felt good. we partied hard after the show too. whoa!! anyway, i'm very proud to say that our new dancer Pat is one bad ass motherfucker!! he's giving me moves i've always wanted to have. if you're scared of revolution then you'd better run for shelter. yee haw!! i love you and kiss my ass!!

ROB DISCOVERED GROUP DISTANCE SELVES FROM HIM
April 25 - posted by Webmaster
TAT[TLE] member Rob Robertson was instrumental in getting the Cheeky Girls a record deal, but over the last six weeks they have grown apart from him.

The girls asked if the band has learned from the good and bad moves TAT[TLE] and Rob have made. "We don't pay attention to him. I mean, Rob helped us out in a lot of ways in the beginning and then we... Through the course of growing--we've had a six week career already--and through that course of six weeks we've kind of grown apart with Rob. I mean, we still talk to him every now and then. You know, we're friends and all, but we don't really associate with him too much."

The Cheeky Girls new album is set to rocket up the Alternative chart as it features their asses. Rob is believed to be dissapointed they aren't as close as before because he 'quite fancied a threesome.'

RAMMO UPDATE
April 20 - posted by Rammo
i want to let you in on something and that is that this new album is off the fuckin' hook!!!!!!!!! it feels so right. it is escapism. it is TAT[TLE]. we are almost finished writing the new songs with pat. we have seven with him now (the person, not the songs). the chemistry is organic. and we are putting out an album for our countries victory!! our soldiers kicked so much ass!! i am so proud to be an american!! well, sort of! watch out america. good things are heading our way.

SEVEN UPDATE
April 15 - posted by Seven
i've got good news people. the chemistry with our new dancer pat is so dope that we are spending the next couple weeks writing a new album!! what!! you heard!! we will still have it ready to release before the summer tour in 2008. the 19 songs we wrote without pat are still amazing and sitting on the shelf waiting on me to do whatever the hell i want to do with them. the energy and vibe in our rehearsal space is absolutely amazing!! we are and band. we have a dancer that is going to bug you out. the songs are out of control and i'm on a fucking mission!!!!!!!!!! it's on!! never a dull day in the TAT[TLE] camp. it's time to SHUT 'EM UP!! i hope that gets your panties in a wad.

KEV UPDATE
April 5 - posted by Kev
the new site (updates), the new album, the new tour....here it comes!! i just wanted to post some news for no fucking reason at all!! how the hell are you? im cool. just in the jam room writing a couple more songs before we gotta turn this puppy in. we really like jamming with that kid from Ultimate Kaos. hes dope. this you will find out soon enough. looks like we're gonna gear up for another READING SHOW in August. you know, one were we just show up and play free concerts for you. we cant fucking wait!!!!!!!!!!! we're planning it out right now. oh yeah, i am not dating anyone!! especially anyone youve seen me in a picture with lately!! no fucking way. cant a dawg have a pal? anyway....yeeee haw!! the more i think about the first single the more i feel like hitting you when youre not ready. surprise surprise!! gots a lots of them comin your way. believe it!! and off to rehearsal i go. be back on later. taco!!

ROB WINS AWARD
March 28 - posted by Webmaster
TAT[TLE] bassist Rob Robertson has won the 8th Montgomery Burns Award For Achievement in The Field Of Excellence. More details when available.

TAT[TLE] MEMBER NOT KILLED IN WAR
March 22 - posted by Webmaster
Fears that TAT[TLE] member Seven Sevenson had been killed fighting for allied forces in Iraq have been proved untrue. The scare emerged on Saturday evening when yahoo.com put up the headline 'Seven killed in Royal Navy crash', the story of which can be viewed at THIS LINK HERE
It has since been revealed that Seven has nothing to do with the Royal Navy, other than a plastic boat he plays with at bathtime.
Yahoo has apologised for any shock the misleading haeadline may have caused.

RAMMO TO WRITE LIFE STORY
March 10 - posted by Webmaster
TAT[TLE] frontman Rammo Rammstein is to pen his life story.

The book should be interesting. He has pulled tons of top totty, including singer Christina Aguilera and page 3 girl Holly from The Sun.

Less appetisingly, he also had a lengthy addiction to skateboarding that nearly killed him and gave him several injuries.

Hopefully he will also explain what drove the band to decide wearing socks on their willies would make a good trademark.

The book is due out early next year.

RUNAWAY STAR BACK IN CUFFS
March 6 - posted by Webmaster
RUNAWAY Guitarist Finch Dino of the band Tat[tle] was brought back in handcuffs yesterday to face questioning over the alleged abduction of his 15-year-old girlfriend.
Dino, 22, was arrested by officers from his own force after he and Naomi Mills were found in Scotland.
They had disappeared from their homes in Worcester on Friday.
Naomi was reunited with her parents after flying home separately. She is said to be “distressed, confused and upset”. Her Father said "Although it was an honour to meet Finch, he is still a caniving shit and I'll beat him good when I get my hands on that boy! she's 15 for christ sake! At least wait till she's legal! Think Dino, THINK!" (he tapped his head with his fist at this point)
Dino, who arrived in cuffs at Birmingham airport,with a bag over his head to hide his shame, was later grilled about Naomi’s “abduction” and his close relationship with her.
Dino may also face charges for allegedly tricking a dealer into lending him a car which ended up in the sea. He has already been told his good boy of Rock 'n' roll career is over.
Police are belived to be looking into further allagations of 'relationships' with ladies of a questionable nature.
But none of questionable as Kev's girlfriend, Sonia from Eastenders

Sexy indeed!

EX DANCER DAI THROWN OFF SHOW
March 5 - posted by Webmaster
A POP has-been hoping to rekindle his career on ITV1’s latest reality show has quit already after brawling with a cameraman.
Dai Jones — who found fame in 21st century group TAT[TLE] as a dancer — went berserk as he was filmed making an obscene gesture.
A source on the show Reborn In The USA — which will follow ten faded stars on a tour of the States — said:
“He grabbed the camera and demanded the film back.
“Then he chucked the equipment on the floor, got his bags and booked a flight home. The producers were in a panic last night.”
Shaw was said to have accused fellow contestant Bonnie Langford of telling the press he and Aled Jones tried to chat up a blonde on the plane.
The source said: “The next thing the cameraman was at the door trying to get it on film.”
A spokesman for Granada said: “It was mutually decided he should return home.”

SEVEN UPSETS PEOPLE
March 4 - posted by Webmaster
MOODY TAT[TLE] star Seven Sevenson (as his name really is despite what he may claim!) has upset staff at his exclusive new apartment block.
Seven hurled a volley of abuse at a worker at a French Keycamp caravan park — and is considered an enemy by neighbours.
One told a local paper: “He yelled at one guy because his mail wasn’t properly bundled. Everyone who works here can’t stand him.”
Brit Seven is notorious for feuds with stars including Goldust and Team Angle.

ROB'S 'EX' HITS BACK!
March 3 - posted by Webmaster
ANGRY fat bird from the Donnas has blasted her rock star ex Rob Robertson — insisting their “romance” was all one-way.

She hit back after foul-mouthed TAT[TLE] bassist Rob revealed intimate details of their alleged fling in The Sun last week.

Asked if the pair had really fallen for each other, the porky pop princess said: “I think him for me, but not me for him.”

She added: “He’s said some pretty amazing things about me. But, um, I think he leaped in too deep, too quick.”

Britney was livid after Rob, 22, claimed she tried to seduce him by arriving at his studio in a see-through blouse at 3am eating a leg of chicken.

He went on to claim the couple later romped in a private room at her caravan.

He said: “We were just doing our thing. She was wearing low-rider panties. She was very forward and aggressive.”

Rob also claimed the pair did not use a condom. probably becasue they didn't really have sex, thus it would have been a bit strange too otherwise.

Yet 'Porkchop', as Rob affectionately called her, told Glamour magazine that, although the rocker was besotted with her, she had never felt any spark for him.

STRANGE HABIT OF KEV
March 3 - posted by Webmaster
VETERAN singer Kev Keverson Rees says he puts mouthwash on his willy — to keep it fresh.

The Wales based star uses minty Listerine every time he makes love (or fucks a slag as it's known).

Kev, 22, says it’s not unusual behaviour, adding: “I use Listerine to make sure everything down there is sterile, like a surgeon before an op.

“It’s a good way to do it. I say that mouthwash is not only for gargling.”

The singer, whose Greatest Hits album isn't due for release for another 30 years, also revealed he is a big fan of US singer Kelly Osbourne.

He said of the raunchy star: “There’s a lot of good talent out there and I’d like to meet her. She’s 21 — and she’s perfect. Do you think she'll give me head?”

From the evidence of these pictures, she probably would!


FINCH IN SHOCK BRUSH OFF!
March 3 - posted by Webmaster
COCKY Finch Dino — Hollywood’s leading skirt-chaser — was humiliated when he tried to pull Gwyneth Paltrow.

The TAT[TLE] rocker was blown out FOUR TIMES when he chatted up the Hollywood beauty.

Finch, 22 — nicknamed the Lusty Leprechaun (even though he has no Irish connections or ever been there) — spotted Oscar winner Gwyneth, 30, in Pontypridd's trendy JJ's restaurant.

Witnesses said he marched up to her table and, without introducing himself, told her she was the “greatest actress on the planet”.

He added: “Give me your phone number and we can get together.”

Stunned Gwyneth, 30 who dates Coldplay gimp Chris Martin, 25, mumbled: “Uhm, I don’t know it off hand” — and carried on talking to pals.

Finch butted in, demanding her number. Gwyneth said: “I’m sorry. I can’t remember it. It’s a new one.”

Waving his own mobile, he said: “Why don’t you ring me on this and your number will pop up.”

The Shakespeare in Love actress insisted her phone’s battery was dead.

Boozy womaniser Finch — who has dated no-one famous ever, then asked her for the phone number where she was staying.

Stony-faced Gwyneth said she was staying with a pal who did not like to give out her number.

An onlooker said: “She blanked him. With a deer-in-the-headlights look, he just stood there.

“Then, without a word, he walked away with his tail between his legs. Or possibly a French baguette.”

FINCH T-SHIRTS AVAILABLE!
February 27 - posted by Webmaster
That's right folks, now you too can show your appreciation for TAT[TLE]'s legendary member by having your very own Finch T-shirt! JUST VISIT HERE and order one of the 3. No profits will go to Finch or the band, it's purely so you can be the cool kid around town!

SEVEN SAYS, "BOMB NEVERLAND!"
February 18 - posted by Webmaster
Seven Sevenson has called for the immediate bombing of Michael Jackson's Neverland home. He says that the King of Pop has been testing his 'weapon of minimal destruction' on kids from all over the world for years, and as Jackson won't allow inspectors in to check he's not using it, bombing his theme park and lavish home is the only solution. Seven stated, "he even asked me once if I wanted to stay the night! But then he found out I wasn't Edge from the WWE and lost interest." Seven is believed to be developing an angry lynch mob army of middle aged women with shit haircuts from council estates to invade Neverland and be very cross indeed.

EX-MEMBER DAI SPEAKS!
February 15 - posted by Dai
Even though I am not a part of this sham of a band, I want to point out that kev is a cunt and we should go bomb iraq now!!! yeeehhaaaah boy i wants me some oil!!! bombs away!

GEORGE W BUSH A CUNT?
February 10 - posted by Webmaster
TAT[TLE] Have spoken out on their veiws on the Iraq situation.
Speaking on behalf of 'the majority of the band' front man Kevin Rees said; "Lets be fair this isn't going to be a war, a war would require two sides to be fighting, rather than on U.S. side bombing the site out of a country for no reason other than oil rights... I think George W Bush can be accuratly described in very few words, namely and idiotic redneck hell bent on destruction, or for short Dumb Cunt... He's not my presidant and it is not his place to make descisions tha will affact the world as this war will... He should fuck off back to Texas and find out why his dad put the cunt in charge of Iraq there, and yes he's a cunt too."
These views he does stress do not represent the view of the whole band but he also stresses that George W Bush is a CUNT!


SEVEN'S QUACKING PERFORMANCE!
February 6 - posted by Webmaster
SEVEN SEVERNSON duetted with WWE wrestler GOLDUST and dressed up in a DONALD DUCK costume on stage at a fund-raising show for JAK'S NIGHTCLUB in FLEET last night (February 5).

The TAT[TLE] drummer was lending his support to former Take That star Jason Orange, who announced yesterday that he is taking over as artistic director of a nearby school pantomine. A host of stars had turned out for the concert, during which Seven and Goldust sang 'Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me' together.

Later in the show, Seven came back onstage dressed as Donald Duck, and then stripped down to his pants.

The audience included Matthew Kelly, John Leslie, Angus Deayton, Pete Townshend and Michael Barrymore.

SEVEN WINS A POLL!
January 30 - posted by Webmaster
LONDON - [REUTERS] Seven Severnson, TAT[TLE] drummer, has been voted the bands most vain member. He received 77% of the vote in a poll of 5,000 people in Dominic Mohan's 'Bizarre' column in the Sun newspaper, the most votes ever received in that sack of shit of a column. This follows revelations he applied to be his own groupie becasue he felt no-one else was good enough. Finch Dino came 2nd with 12% after labelling himself 'the living legend, king of the world!' recently. Kev Keverson Rees picked up 10% for claiming a string of pop stars 'wanted his cock' when they just said they thought he was one instead. The 1% remaining went to Kim as she's a girl. However, Seven is believed to be pleased to have actually won something. A friend of the star said, "he'll be pleased as punch." Punch was unavailable for comment.

ROB RESPONDS TO CYNICISM!
January 15 - posted by Rob
all this stuff about the fat bird from the Donnas and me is everywhere. its like WHOA!! anybody out there who has a serious problem with my feelings for pork-chop should just chill and worry about your own feelings for a minute. you cant help what happens in life because everything happens for a reason. i believe that. i am a good judge of character and so is she. it just happens to be a person that i would have thought could make me feel this way. and believe that i have never felt this way, so there. if you think im going soft then you go ahead and think it until we drop this sick fucking album in few months. we'll see what you think then. i am really excited about this album and would not be unless i thought you would be as much as me. did you understand that? just remember one thing until then, we're all very fortunate to be alive and we need to stick together because we're all we've got!! stay tuned.

Rob

ROB NEWS - LINKED WITH STAR!
January 12 - posted by Rob
well howdy partners!!!!!!! im in the studio just about to wrap up the bass!! only four songs away!! man youre gonna shit!! today Pliers from Chaka Demus & Pliers is in the studio with me and we're gonna tear some shit up!! i also know you've heard the rumors about the fat bird from the Donnas. well a lot of you are wrong, i did not sing with her okay. i really like her and thats about all i should say. shes a sweet amazing girl and im happy to know her right now. you are my family and you know you can trust me and my judgement!! anyways, the first single is great and so fucking heavy!!!!!!!!! and ian from mtv news can suck my dick!!!!!!!!!! please!! I mean. PEACE!!!

Rob

Kim shows how punk she is!
January 7 - posted by Webmaster
KIM ROCKS OUT OLD SKOOL!

Above is a picture of Kim Kimberson of TAT[TLE] taken for a magazine interview (The Big Issue probably). Below is a selection of quotes in which Miss Kimberson attempts to impress the homeless reporter with how punk she is!

"My music is true rock."

"There was a guitar laying around the house — my Dad plays the guitar — and I picked it up and very slowly taught myself to play it."

"I would love to work with Johnny Reznik from the Goo Goo Dolls, blink-182, and System of a Down -- that would rock!"

If she wasn't a singer, she'd be "A police officer. I like having authority and I'd like walking the beat, and I'm a fighter so the crimefighting thing appeals to me."

"My personality is like a rock star. I'm hardcore."


DAI QUITS TAT[TLE]!
January 3 - posted by Webmaster
TAT[TLE] dancer Dai Jones has quit the band after an onstage bust up with frontman Kev last week. He gave the reasons that 'I hate you all' and 'musical differences, as that's what everyone else does when they quit a band.' He revealed however that this was true as he wanted to fulfil his dream of becoming a lounge singer. He added that he'd been into the studio with TAT[TLE] member G-Man and Welsh footballer Robbie Savage to re-record Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin and Sammy Davis Jnr's 'Christmas With The Rat Pack.'
His member profile and contributions will remain on the site in the hope that some day he will return to the band to make some quality dadrock, Ocean Colour Scene style. It is unknown whether TAT[TLE] will seek a new dancer.

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