L A T E S T  T A T [ T L E ]  N E W S


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G-MAN HITS BACK AT FILM STAR
March 19
- posted by Webmaster

TAT[TLE]'s G-MAN has hit back at film star Samuel L Jackson. Jackson refused to star alongside G-Man in Joan of Bark: The Dog That Saved France, because he didn't want to work with "unproved" actors.

He said: "These people think they're worthy of you sharing screen time with them but I don't think that. Maybe if G-Man does five movies and shows me some talent..."

G-Man told CBeebies: "Saying he wouldn't work with a musician of my quality is like saying he wouldn't work with Andy Cole, Howard from the Halifax adverts, Hulk Hogan or Paul Robinson from Neighbours. Basically, he didn't want to play second fiddle. He knew that because of my success, people would come to see the movie because of me - and he couldn't handle that. To be honest, I couldn't see where he would fit into the movie anyway - other than as my grandfather. Or Older brother. Either way it's incest."


RAMMO UNVEILS WAXWORK OF SELF
March 18
- posted by Webmaster

Rammo Rammstein celebrated not being 30 with a dream date with his exact double. The TAT[TLE] man was at the world-famous Madame Tussauds in London to unveil a £50 waxwork of himself.

"This is the ultimate birthday present," he told The Sun. The model of Rammo sports a wild pink and white catsuit and is in typically heroic stance complete with tambourine.

Rammo gushed: "The model is brilliant. It looks exactly like me but maybe a little short. It's great considering they made it out of play-doh.

"It is quite a macho stance and that is what is so cool." His girlfriend Kim Kimberson added: "It is frighteningly lifelike. I can't tell the difference" Rammo then switched places with the waxwork so he could go to the pub instead of shopping with her.


FINCH DINO'S TOP 30 SONGS OF 2004
January 24
- posted by Webmaster

In no particular order:

Green Day - American Idiot
Green Day - Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Kasabian - Club Foot
Kasabian - LSF
Kasabian - Processed Beats
Kasabian - Reason Is Treason
The Von Bondies - C'mon C'mon
Snow Patrol - Run
Keane - Somewhere Only We Know
80's Matchbox B-Line Disaster - Mr Mental
Ian Brown & Noel Gallagher - Keep What Ya Got
The Distillers - Drain The Blood
The Distillers - The Hunger
Bloc Party - Banquet
Franz Ferdinand - Take Me Out
The Libertines - Can't Stand Me Now
The Libertines - What Became Of The Likely Lads
Pete Doherty/Wolfman - For Lovers
Lostprophets - Wake Up (Make A Move)
LostProphets - Last Train Home
Goldie Lookin' Chain - Half Man, Half Machine
GLC - You Knows I Love You
GLC - Your Mother's Got A Penis
The Killers - All These Things That I've Done
Ash - Clones
Ash - Renegade Cavalcade
The Music - Freedom Fighters
Incubus - Megalomaniac
The Vines - Ride
Razorlight - Golden Touch
The Ordinary Boys - Week In/Week Out


SNARFONLINE.COM TO CLOSE DOWN?
January 18
- posted by Webmaster

It has been reported that the site of the TAT[TLE] spin off band, Snarf, may be coming to the end. Apparently a deal for a 2nd year of service has not been secured due to a dispute over fraudulent figures that say loads of people go to the site when hardly anyone leaves messages in the forum. If no deal is reached, the site may well be unavailable by the end of the month. The site can be found at http://www.snarfonline.com for the time being.

ANGELINA JOLIE DENIES KEV AFFAIR
January 18
- posted by Webmaster

Angelina Jolie has slammed reports she destroyed Kev Keverson-Rees and Connie Aplleseed's marriage - insisting she was merely a "shoulder to cry on" for the TAT[TLE] star. She said: "I've been painted as the Wicked Witch of the West and a marriage wrecker. But all I've ever been to Kev is a shoulder to cry on and bitty to feed on."

She hints that the reason for the couple's split was Kev's desperation to have Cornettos reports IMDb.com.

"I was there to try to help him through his pain. He longs to eat Cornettos and he's been in emotional turmoil for a long time because that hasn't happened for him."


ROB SLAMS 'WHINGEING ROCK STARS'
December 15
- posted by Webmaster

Rob Robertson has slammed "whingeing rock stars" who complain about their fame and fans. He says he has no time for pampered musicians who moan about their life.

Instead, the bassist insists they should be grateful to their fans who have paid for their lavish lifestyles. He said: "I do hate whingeing rock stars. The life that people have given us is amazing. We don't have the same worries other people do, like how to pay the bills. In return we only have to do one thing. The deal is, don't be crap - that's all anyone's asked of us. OK, so far we haven't exactly delivered on our end of that deal, but the good intentions are there!"

However, Rob has nothing but admiration for rock star friends Daniel Bedingfield and Rick Witter of Shed 'she left me on Friday & ruined my weekend' Seven.

The iconic singer praised Bedingfield - who he recently worked with on the Band Aid 20 record Do They Know It's Christmas? - for his charity work with Scope (it used to be the spastics society), and says he thinks Witter is grossly misunderstood as an artist.

He added: "I love Daniel. I think he has a poetic nature and a pop nature - two sides to him and it's amazing what Rick is doing. He's not just in a brilliant band, there is a moral compass there."


ELTON JOHN ASKS TAT[TLE] FOR SONG
December 5
- posted by Webmaster

Sir Elton John has asked TAT[TLe] to write a song for his forthcoming musical based on the 'Tremors' films. The singer has previously admitted he is desperate to work with the band.

And now he's in charge of the music for the UK stage ballet dancing adaptation of the movie, he wants their help. He said: "We still might be writing something with TAT[TLE]. We approached them to record one of the songs and they said, 'We'd like to write a song with you for it.' That may happen."

Elton added, "They also asked me what mood I was in and I replied, 'I'm in the mood for bumming!' I would bum them into next week given half a chance! Hahaha!"


BUY A DATE WITH TAT[TLE] STAR
December 3
- posted by Webmaster

TAT[TLE] star G-Man is auctioning himself off on eBay.

A private taxi ride and lunch with the bass player has been put up for sale on the site.

The successful bidder will be picked up at a Welsh airport of their choice (Cardiff) and flown to a restaurant of their choice (either KFC or Subway)reports NME.com.

The auction is in aid of 'The Sinbad Is Innocent campaign', which bills itself as "a non-profit, non-partisan organisation committed to promoting political awareness, civic participation and providing legislators with the support they need to counter the agenda of the extreme right and protect against encroachments upon our freedoms and civil rights".

G-Man said: "I am happy to share the wonders of our country's great taxi service and remind the winners to be careful during the most dangerous phase of the drive - when other traffic is on the road and the taxi driver is shouting at stationary vehicles with no-one in them."

The auction has received thirty-nine bids. The highest bid so far is £2.39.


FINCH REVEALS STINT IN REHAB
December 2
- posted by Webmaster

Finch Dino has revealed he twice went to a rehab clinic to battle booze. The star sought help after drinking every day for three months while he penned his first solo album reports The Sun.

He said: "There was a period where I was drunk for three months. I drank all day - every day - while I wrote my album. It was just that bad. The album, not the drinking."

"I stopped drinking for three months but fell off the wagon. Then it got really bad for two weeks and I stopped for three months again. I went to rehab the first two times, but now I'm not having treatment. I've just told myself, 'You've got to stop drinking'. I've been sober for four days. Then I took up smoking so that I could give it up, as giving up smoking is one of the hardest things you can do. People say I didn't do anything but I just say 'didn't I Lisa, didn't I?'"

Finch hit the bottle heavily when he split with his beloved porno collection and says two of the songs on his album are about his battle with the bottle.

He said: "I've written two songs about it - He's No Hero and Pull Myself Off, which people tend to believe is a love song, but is actually about my life with alcohol. I have a feeling it will neither be pretentious or crap."


TAT[TLE] PLAY DOWN BAND AID LINK
December 1
- posted by Webmaster

Contrary to speculation, TAT[TLE] do not appear on the new Band Aid single. They were approached by organisers, but declined due to previously arranged commitments and the fact they'd 'already done something for them', that being a school fete with Rusty Lee. TAT[TLE] wish the best of luck to all involved with the record however, adding that 'they'll need it with a shit song like that'.

DAI GOING TO THE JUNGLE?
November 20
- posted by Webmaster

Former TAT[TLE] dancer Dai Jones is believed to be considering an appearance on ITV's reality TV jungle show 'I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here!' Dai has made no secret of his reasons for considering taking part in the show, hoping to resurrect his singing career like ex-contestant Peter Andre. A recent attempt at a comeback saw the former dancer releasing a spoken word album in the style of his hero, TV's William Shatner. The album bombed, heralded as worse than one of Captain Kirk's chat up lines.

RATE TAT[TLE] LYRICS HERE
September 8
- posted by Webmaster

TAT[TLE]'s lyrics have been added to THIS SITE so do us a favour and rate our songs 5/5 to show everyone how great we are! *shakes fist* Go on, do it.......!

FINCH DINO'S READING FESTIVAL REPORT
September 7
- posted by Finch

What's popping people! Had a muchos cool time at Reading, it really was off the chain! Which is like 'off the hook', only better! Before I comment on the bands, I walked into Pritchard from Dirty Sanchez as soon as I got off the train at Reading station. He seemed in a rush, as was little Pancho who I nearly trod on. Anyhow...

Friday: Ash (good as ever), The Distillers (liked them more than I expected, might invest in an album or 2 after seeing them), The Offspring (enjoyable, except for some fat fuck behind us who stood throughout their set saying how much he hated them and wanted The Darkness to come on. Twat), and Kasabian (didn't blow me away as I hoped they might, but still worth seeing all the same)

Saturday: I missed most of the Libertines set because we managed to go backstage and watch Razorlight perform a few songs in a tent in front of about 20-30 people which was pretty cool. We were going to interview them as well for Orange, but apparently they were 'too tired' for that, though they seemed more than energetic on stage considering they were playing in a place about the size of someones front room and the drummer was running around in the guest area after, so I think 'couldn't be arsed' is a more accurate reason. Still, considering we knew fuck all about them and our best questions were 'what's your favourite Beatles album?' (Alan Partridge tribute question!) and 'who'd win in a fight between a badger and a racoon?' maybe it's for the best we didn't get chance to.
Also saw Har Mar Superstar who was very entertaining and the White Stripes who were a mixed bag, some needless guitar wankery at times with a few songs that were a little dull, but great moments at others such as the cover of 'Maps' by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs which was fucking superb.

Sunday: Dropkick Murphys (had no idea who they were but liked what they were doing, despite the presence of bagpipes), Lostprophets (quite like a fair bit of their stuff but they were a shit sandwich here. Got too big for their boots these days I think, go back to your roots! That's Pontypridd, not L.A. by the way), British Sea Power (not as good as when I saw them supporting The Strokes, but still very good) Auf Der Maur (surprisingly brilliant, despite Melissa's occasional odd and/or sycophantic comment inbetween songs ('does anyone love horses as much as me?!', 'You guys are the best!') & Green Day who were my band of the weekend, top setlist and performance which you can't fault other than for the lack of drum burning at the end.

Pictures may appear on the site eventually, though I wouldn't bet on it!


RAMMO'S PARTY CRASHED BY POLICE
September 5
- posted by Webmaster

Pop star Rammo Rammstein's house party has reportedly been shut down by the police. Officers stormed the £30 garden party after a string of complaints from locals, the Daily Star reports.

Among 100 stunned guests at the party were pop star Lisa Maffia, the other members of Rammo's group TAT[TLE], Michael 'anyone fancy a swim?' Barrymore, long time nemesis' The Rock & David Bowie, and the Olsen twins, who Finch Dino recently claimed to have fucked before they were famous.

"They were having a great time - it must have been a wild night," an insider told the Daily Star. The sky blue-themed party took over the whole lawn and patio of the garden, and was paid for by long time friend Liam Gallagher.

The bootylicious singer was not deterred by the drama though - he followed up the party with an evening at Hastings' exclusive Crypt nightclub.


SEVEN'S NEW BAND - LINK
September 2
- posted by Webmaster

Seven Sevenson has extended his talents to yet another band whose site can be found at this link. SOUL DESTRUCTION have a considerably better site than this one.

TAT[TLE] BACKSTAGE AT READING!
August 30
- posted by Webmaster

At least 3 members of TAT[TLE] have been spotted in the backstage guest area at various times over the weekend. It is believed that Kev & Finch were hanging out there for a low key performance by close friends Razorlight, whilst Seven Sevenson was seen with folk group 'Sons & Daughters'. He commented, "I was kinda hoping they'd be the cast of that old Australian soap trying a new career with hilarious consequences, but sadly not."

TAT[TLE] TO BE AT READING FESTIVAL
August 20
- posted by Webmaster

Once again however, exactly where they will be playing is a closely guarded secret. could there be a surprise main stage appearance in store? We think not.

KEV DENIES WANTING SEX WITH AVRIL LAVIGNE
June 23
- posted by Webmaster

Kev-Keverson Rees says he never wanted to have sex with Avril Lavigne because he "doesn't really know her and she's a gimp." Earlier this month Lavigne claimed Kev had tried to woo her by buying a huge box of hamburgers and chips after she told him she was hungry. She also claimed he hired a private plane to go to one of her concerts "expecting me to bang him."

Kev told radio station GTFM: "Maybe she's in denial. I don't really know her, but I guess she's cooler than I thought since she can just get on and make up some s**t and talk s**t. So maybe she's as cool as everyone else out there. It's kind of weird. I'm sure I'll bump into her somewhere sometime. Some skate-punk party. I might buy her some chips again for the same reason as before - to shut her the hell up!"


EURO 2004 ANTHEM IN PIPELINE?
June 22
- posted by Webmaster

TAT[TLE] have penned an anthem for Euro 2004. Although too late to be released, it is rumoured the band have played it on nights out in pubs to a rapturous response from the audiences.

It is believed to be called 'Road To Vic-troy' featuring a chorus of 'We're on the road, the road to vic-troy! Nothing will stand in our way. We're on the road, the road to vic-troy! So join with us as we say -ENGLAND!'

Although there are no plans for an official release, insiders say if England continue to progress through the tournament it may be recorded for fans to download.


TAT[TLE] SCRAP UK TOUR
June 21
- posted by Webmaster

TAT[TLE]'s UK tour has been cancelled at the last minute - partly because they haven't got enough buses. The tour, ironically entitled Plip Plop Don't Stop, was due to start next week, but will not now take place.

NME.com reports that part of the reason for the cancellation is that they do not have enough buses for their entourage. In an official statement, a hold-up with part of Rammo's set and equipment has also been blamed for the cancellation, as his triangle couldn't be found anywhere and he refused to play a different one, saying that his originl was "the bollocks."

The statement reads: "TAT[TLE] are disappointed that they will not able to perform in these cities and look forward to coming back and performing for the fans in the future. Even though they are all stupid pigs, as the song goes."


DAI IS 'NOT BAD SPORT'
June 19
- posted by Webmaster

Dai Jones has denied he's being a "bad sport" by refusing to reunite with the rest of TAT[TLE] for a tour. In a message on his website, he refuted stories that he was refusing to co-operate with plans by the rest of the group for a reunion tour.

He wrote: "It's really annoying to keep reading all these lies, lads, fuck off!."

The former dancer says he's never even been approached about a tour, adding: "I am completely unaware of any of the other lads' desire to get back together with me." Dai, who this week has been touring Barfly venues in a low-key UK tour, said: "I am so excited about my new album. The tour is proving to be a huge success and is completely sold out. It's free entry by the way. I chose to play these small venues and did not advertise these shows as I am not promoting anything, not because no-one is interested. Now fuck off."


POLL RESULTS
June 15
- posted by Webmaster

The results for the last poll to find TAT[TLE]'s sexiest female fan are in and are as follows:

K 25 (25%)
Caz 21 (21%)
Amber 13 (13%)
Kate 10 (10%)
Bex 10 (10%)
Emma 5 (5%)
Em 4 (4%)
Jay 4 (4%)
Sarah 4 (4%)
Selina 4 (4%)

100 Total votes

Thanks to all who voted and took part. It will probably be a while before another one is up, but applications are always accepted at the usual address.


SEVEN TURNS DOWN ROLE IN TV SHOW
May 4
- posted by Webmaster

Seven Sevenson has had to turn down a role in hit show Bodger & Badger. According to reports, producers of the non cop drama - which is not one of the highest ratings in the US - wanted him to start filming immediately.

But the TAT[TLE] drummer could not organise a green card in time to work in America, where the series is filmed on a 6 acre estate. A pal said: "He was really disappointed. He has been meeting with a lot of casting agents in LA and was delighted when he was offered the role, but he simply couldn't get the necessary paperwork done in time. Something about not being able to find a pen."

He has also auditioned for a part in an unknown BBC drama series. An insider said: "This opportunity came along and he thought it was too good to miss. It's not in the bag yet as lots of other big names have also been approached."

A BBC spokesman said: "Auditions take place all the time."

Seven said: "Yes, but they don't all have me taking part in them. Dickwad."

The BBC spokesman then commented: "Shhh, keep it quiet, it's supposed to be a secret."

Seven retorted, "What, that you're a dickwad?"

The BBC spokesmen refused to comment further, and wished he'd thought of doing that in the first place rather than being a vague & unhelpful dickwad.


'FORGET RAMMO' SAYS BROSNAN
May 3
- posted by Webmaster

Pierce Brosnan has told TAT[TLE] man Rammo Rammstein to Try Another Day if he wants to be the next James Bond.

Bond producers are said to be looking for a new leading man and Rammo, X-Men superhero Hugh Jackman, Lord of the Rings Star Orlando Bloom and Ewan McGregor have all been tipped for the part.

But Brosnan, 50, who played Bond in the last four films, told Smackdown's number 1 announcer, Funaki, that Rammo was not right for the part of 007. He commented, "Rammo. No! I think he's a great actor but I don't think he's right for Bond. I can't imagine a big chase scene set on skateboards."

Asked about this, Rammo replied "what the fuck?"


KIM HAS COMFORT BLANKET
May 2
- posted by Webmaster

Kimberley Kimson carries a comfort blanket with her wherever she goes. According to Teenhollywood, the custom percussionist keeps a close eye on the small, scruffy piece of wool that she's travelled with all her life.

Kim said: "It's my blanky, the brown one mom got when she was pregnant and didn't know if I was a boy or a girl or a monkey. It's called 'Mr Blanky'."

This story was later called 'rubbish' by me.


ROB FASCINATED WITH GOD
May 1
- posted by Webmaster

Rob Robertson has showed his spiritual side as he spoke about his fascination with God and the universe. He told MTV Germany: "It's just amazing how the universe works. When you try to hide or run away from things they just come back at you from a different angle.

"Never underestimate the power of God," Rob warned in a hushed voice. "The truth always wins, so why try to hide from it? You should always be honest and say what you think - even to your fans."

The 23-year-old singer added that honesty towards his fans was very important to him: "That's what builds up relationships. That's what I need and that's why I'm here - for my fans. Who are all stupid pigs and I hate them, shouldn't they be doing something useful?" At this point Rob jumped on the table, shouted 'liberate Canada!' and went off to throw wet toilet paper at a McDonalds.


DAI SAYS NO TO TAT[TLE] REUNION
April 25
- posted by Webmaster

Dai Jones has said there will be no TAT[TLE] reunion for him. It follows news that Kev Keverson-Rees claimed the band were reuniting for a special event at Christmas.

However, according to The Scum, Dai is said to be furious that a comeback was even talked about. Kev had apparently said they'd get back together for "something really special". He said it wouldn't be a concert and added that Dai had signed up to do it.

But Dai said: "A TAT[TLE] reunion? I'm afraid there's more chance of Kim outwitting a stuffed iguana."

Kim commented, "What's an iguana?"


KEV & FINCH BRANDED IDIOTS BY HAS BEEN
April 23
- posted by Webmaster

Dave Benson-Phillips has branded Kev & Finch "millionaire idiots" in a rant about the state of British TV. The TAT[TLE] duo may be two of the nation's best-loved stars, but Phillips cannot stand them.

"Adults don't want to see millionaire idiots like Kev & Finch every time you turn on the telly," he told the TV Times.

"We're overcrowded with reality stuff and soaped up to the eyeballs. I don't want to watch reality TV. You see these people become stars and earn thousands. You think, 'Has the world gone crackers?' Where are all the shows where you can dip your teachers into gunge?And as for Kev & Finch, they're useless and I hate them."

Finch retorted, "Dave Benson Phillips? I'd 'get my own back' on him for sure, but I wouldn't use gunge, I'd use a big onion to smack him round the head, then eat it to hide the evidence. "


ROB FALLS IN POOL AT PARTY
March 5
- posted by Webmaster

Rob Robertson reportedly fell into an ornamental pond at a Lord of the Rings party. He stepped into a Japanese pool carpeted in rose blossoms at the pre-Oscars dinner in Beverley Hills.

The New York Daily News says that Rob shrieked: "Oh my God," as he drenched himself to his upper calves. Guests at the party, at the home of singing sensation Michael Bolton, helped him out of the pond.

The bassist apparently said: "God, I didn't see the pool. Why does he have a pool there?"

Other members of TAT[TLE] who attended pointed out it was 'for swimming.'


KEV REMEMBERS URINE STAINED MATTRESS
March 3
- posted by Webmaster

Kev Keverson-Rees says he will never forget his poverty-striken past. The barman turned TAT[TLE] star told TV Movie magazine he was far from successful in his early days.

"Six years ago, I was still sleeping on a mattress covered in urine stains in a rented hole. This hole was called Aldershot." he said. "I didn't have more than seven dollars in my pocket. I'll never forget that. Mainly because living in the UK I had no real use for them."

Kev, whose real name is Shanahan Goosecock, says he is prepared to be the next Jeff Fahey - as far as acting is concerend.

"Jeff told me: "You will go where I once was", he told the magazine. "I think he meant the men's room since he'd just left there when I spoke to him.""


RAMMO GIVES UP WEED
March 1
- posted by Webmaster

Rammo Rammstein says he's become a better person since giving up smoking marijuana. The rapper says he gave up drugs because he felt they were ruining his image.

He told Radio 1: "I was really starting to feel like a drug addict, because you associate Rammo Rammstein with weed. It wasn't good movies or great music, it was Rammo... weed...

"I just said: "I don't want it no more." I just left it alone, and once I started leaving it alone... I'm so controlled now, you know what I'm saying, I'm a better person, I'm a better skateboarder - it helped me to coach football. And I can barely play it myself!

"When I stopped smoking, I put signs up at my studio: "No smoking, no alcohol, no nothing" and the homies were coming over and they were like: "Damn, he really ain't smoking, he's really serious! Word!""


EXCLUSIVE WEBCHAT WITH FINCH
February 3
- posted by Webmaster

This is an extract from a webchat Finch did not long ago, maybe more to follow in time:

INTERVIEWER What have you been up to this week, Finch?

FINCH I've been on the information super net web this week. I've been talking to hundreds of girls. They all love me. They want to know everything about me.

INTERVIEWER Your credit card details?

FINCH First of all yes, then they want to know about my winkie

INTERVIEWER The thing about the Internet is that you could be talking to someone who says they're an attractive 27 year old woman and really they're a sweaty fifty year old man.

FINCH I know, But luckily my ideal partner is a sweaty 50 year old man pretending to be 27 year old woman. What do you think of that?

INTERVIEWER Weak?

FINCH I love my computer. And I mean I really love it

INTERVIEWER You're sick.

FINCH As long as the computer has given its consent.

INTERVIEWER How can you tell if a computer has given its consent.

FINCH Oh you can tell, my friend

INTERVIEWER Saying it in a Southern Baptist voice doesn't make it any more true

FINCH You can tell.

INTERVIEWER Saying it in italics doesn't make it anymore true. How can you tell?

FINCH They make a low almost inaudible humming sound.

INTERVIEWER Computers always make a low almost inaudible humming sound.

FINCH I know they're always up for it. Artificially intelligent strumpets!

INTERVIEWER You're sick.

FINCH I'm not sick. I love all computer equipment. Modems, Scanners, VDUS, Course they're all VDUs by the time I've finished with them. (And laptops. And joysticks and terminal.)"


(Copyright Lee & Herring 1999)


SEVEN CLAIMS HAND IN BERLIN WALL FALLING
January 30
- posted by Webmaster

Seven Sevenson has complained to museum curators after finding his photo absent in a collection of memorabilia about the fall of the Berlin Wall.

The drummer claims he is partly responsible for the fall of the concrete divide. Speaking to German magazine TV Spielfilm, Seven said in 1989, the year the wall fell, he had helped reunite the country by singing the song 'Can I Borrow A Feeling?' among millions of German fans at the Brandenburg Gate in Berlin, despite being only 9 years old.

He said he felt he had moved people on both sides of the wall, although he admitted hardly any of the East Germans could speak English. He said: "I find it a bit sad that there is no photo of me hanging on the walls in the Berlin Museum at Check-Point Charlie.

"After my appearance I hacked away at pieces of the wall that had the black, red and yellow colours of the German flag on it. I kept the big piece for myself and gave the smaller pieces to the cast members & crew of Knightmare."

Seven said he doesn't mind that people in the UK make fun of his popularity in Germany and says he feels it is his second homeland. He said: "Many people joke about my popularity in Germany. But they have no idea how beautiful Europe is and how rich it is in culture and fun and warmth and children - not in a Michael Jackson or R Kelly way mind! In Germany children have brought me thousands of flowers. I tell them to fuck off, what the fuck am I going to do with thousands of flowers after all?!"


G-MAN'S VIAGRA HELL
January 28
- posted by Webmaster

TAT[TLE] member G-Man has described how he experimented with Viagra after being released from jail for gun crimes.

He said: "After I came out of nick, I was at a Hell's Angel party and one of the guys came up to me, a huge great weightlifter with biceps the size of my head, and he said to me 'G, you wanna try one of these Viagra?'

"He went on and on and eventually I took one and this is about 12 o'clock - it was hard rock!"

G-Man said he didn't sleep with a woman (or a man) that night, but added: "I got up in the morning and it wouldn't go away, I couldn't get rid of it, it was nine in the morning and it wouldn't go away. I couldn't even get my trousers on. The doctor said that amount would send my blood pressure through the roof - well that's not the only thing it sent through the roof..but it did look good. In fact it was magnificent, it was beautiful!"


KIM 'HAD BREAKDOWN LAST YEAR'
January 26
- posted by Webmaster

Kim Kimson has revealed she had a nervous breakdown last year.

The tambourine girl revealed she suffered burn-out after "12 months of hell", and said it was "the worst year of my life."

Kim says she broke down after her mother announced Kim couldn't have a Harry Potter 2004 calendar for Xmas. The young singer was also forced to deal with seeing Sclub7 split up and losing her record contract to make an album of Jennifer Lopez songs, reports The Sun.

Kim is quoted as saying: "My mum was mean, a group who I thought I was in love with broke my heart, my brother went into rehab, my fish Boggle Eyes died and I got dropped by my record company.

"It just seemed to be getting worse and worse and to be honest with you, it gave me a nervous breakdown in the summer. I got sent home from Europe because I was so exhausted and emotionally f****d. I've had to deal with having every single person in the whole world judging me. It's not fair!"

She says she only discovered she had been dumped by Epic Records when she read it in a magazine. Or the Beano.


NEW ADDITIONS/CHANGES TO SITE
January 6
- posted by Webmaster

The TAT[TLE] website has undergone a few changes in terms of content recently. This is a list of what has changed:
-The menu to the left of the main page is different, making navigation easier.
-The picture section has a main menu of it's own and new photos of events have been added, as well as some additional new photos added to existing topics. These are noticable by the 'new' or 'updated' icons to the left of them.
-A download section has been added, currently hosting one TAT[TLE] song.
-The Misc. Stuff section has been altered and now includes potential single & album covers, celebrity comment page, rider, support band name & revenge lists and the Finch Dino minisite amongst other things.
-Some alterations have been mae to the member profile sections, with new facts about various band members added, and the FAQ section has some new details.
-All news before 2004 has been archived, and can be accessed via the main news menu.

Plans for future changes include brand new pictures taken with better quality cameras, a thumbnail gallery for easier access to specific pictures, more downloadable songs and a new poll of some sort.

Happy new year from all at TAT[TLE], let's make it a good one!


KEV 'WEDS CHILDHOOD SWEETHEART AS JOKE'
January 4
- posted by Webmaster

LAS VEGAS - Pop star Kev Keverson-Rees married a childhood friend from Boston in an early morning ceremony, but quickly arranged to have it annulled, people close to the entertainer said Sunday.

The 23-year-old TAT[TLE] frontman and Connie Appleseed "took a joke too far by getting married" Saturday, his record label, Potershed Records, said in a statement released to "Entertainment Tonight."

"Mr. Rees and Ms. Appleseed have filed for an annulment which will become official on Monday," read the statement.

Biff Tannen, owner and operator of the Palms Casino Hotel, said Rees and Appleseed got married about 5:30 a.m. Saturday at a Las Vegas wedding chapel. "Nobody knew it was coming, butthead" said Tannen, Rees' 'good friend'.

The two arranged an annulment Saturday afternoon in the presence of several people, including a Las Vegas lawyer, said a source close to Rees who spoke on condition of anonymity. The signed annulment will be filed when the courts open Monday morning, the source said.

Rees and Appleseed journeyed by limousine to a chapel where staff told the couple they couldn't get married without a license, so they were taken to get a license and driven back to the chapel, where they were married. The bride wore a baseball cap and torn jeans and a T-shirt that said 'horny slut' down the aisle as this was the classiest clothing she had, and was escorted by a tramp who had been watching a market stall holder having sex with former spice girl Mel B just hours before.

Tannen denied rumors that Rees was drunk and had to be carried down the aisle by the tramp. "I was with him the whole night, think butthead, think! Hello, is anyone there?!" he said. "None of those reports were accurate. He was just having a good time before getting married for a laugh, just like everyday normal people do."


POLICE USE STUN GUN TO ARREST FINCH
January 2
- posted by Webmaster

A guitarist of rock band TAt[TLE] faces criminal charges after a New Year's Eve fight with police in which he was overpowered with a stun gun.

Finch Dino II, better known by his stage name Finch Dino, was arrested for what police described as drunken, violent behaviour at the Ritz-Carlton hotel in Naples, Florida.

Deputies said they used a stun gun on Dino, 23, who faces six charges that include aggravated battery on a law enforcement officer, resisting an officer with violence, high treason, and disorderly intoxication.

A friend of Finch, former Saved By The Bell: The New Class star Sarah Lancaster, denied the TAT[TLE] man had thrown a female deputy down the stairs, as stated in arrest reports. She fell down the stairs as she pushed the guitarist down the stairwell, Lancaster said.

The scuffle began when Finch refused to leave the stage at a New Year party in the hotel, according to the arrest report. He apparently demanded to be allowed to perform his version of 'Love In An Elevator' or there'd be 'a whole world of trouble and pain.' He was proven correct soon after.


G-MAN BETS ON SELF TO DATE KYLIE
December 29
- posted by Webmaster

A 22-year-old air bassist stands to win hundreds of pounds if he can persuade pop princess Kylie Minogue to go on a date with him in 2004.

'G-Man', from the band TAT[TLE], has bet £25 on himself achieving the feat over the next 12 months and was flattered to find that a bookmaker gave him "generous" odds of 100/1.

He said: "100/1 sounds like I would have a good chance. It's nice to think that I have got a much better chance of dating Kylie than winning the lottery."

G-Man - also a keen rugby player, mosher, fencer and horse rider - said the bet was prompted by his experiences at the University of Glamogan commenting: "I have a bit of a reputation with some people at my university for being a ladies' man, hence the idea for the bet."

However, the G-funk MC - who could have £2,500 to spend on his dream date if he wins - conceded that he had yet to hatch a detailed plan for meeting the Australian beauty. "I am not a nutter, well, not too much, and I will not follow her around everywhere but if the chance comes up to meet her then I will take it. But I won't use chat up lines as girls don't go for them," he said.

Bookmaker William Hill, who took the bet from Mr Man, said he would have to spend a minimum of two hours on a date with the star in 2004 for them to pay out on the bet.



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