R.I.P. Simon the hamster
(February-November 2001)
I'M SO HAPPY!!!! But I wish that incest was legal... er... okay, moving on...
I MET DOPE!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Just look at this shit!!!! *ahem*
This is me w/ Edsel... & for once he does NOT look cracked out!!! But on the other hand...
Someone explain to me what's up w/ Acey in this pic... ah well... I have no room to talk!
You know... it was so odd when I met Mosey... I thought he was HUGE when I saw him in pics... but when I met him he was so small! Weird...
Oh GOD was The Virus nice looking... I mean... look at him! He's just got that evil expression that makes me want to drool... & in some weird way he reminds me of Gian Pyres from Cradle of Filth...
Sketchy was so cool... he was really messed up at the time of this picture... his expression almost frightens me...
AND FINALLY...
I don't care how horrible I look in this picture... cuz all that matters is Simon is a fucking SEXY BITCH goddammit!!! I waited for this moment... there's so much that happened too... when describing to Simon how obsessed I was w/ him he responded w/ these exact words: "Well then... I'll think of you the next time I'm jacking off" Is that not the most disturbing thing you've ever heard!?!?! But it was so nice at the same time... (wonder if he's thinking about me... heheheh...)
Returning to my normal message...
Yo yo yo. What up my dogs? I be chilling at this here computer, fool. Um.... yeah. Pardon my "ghetto" talk... I suck at it. Hey, you must be really damn bored cuz you're actually going to read about me, your humble webmaster!!! I'm the person w/ too many damned names! Lord Doyle (L.D. ... heheheh...), aka ¤--±ÏÑ ØMëÑ--¤ aka SPaSMoLy+iC, aka Kristin (don't ask if that's spelled right cuz not even I know anymore.) I don't feel like typing a whole bio on myself so I'm going to use some stupid internet profile things that were sent to me & use that to paste here!!!
FULL NAME: Seeing that this is the net & seeing all the bad experiences I've had... I'll just say my full name is "go fuck yourself"!
NICKNAME: L.D., ¤--±ÏÑ ØMëÑ--¤, SPaSMoLy+iC, får ±öø frã¡£
SEX: Yes please? Oh wait... I'm a chick the last time I checked... believe it or not!
LOCATION: Here.
HEIGHT: 5'4"... almost...
FAVORITE COLOR: Blue green.
YOUR EYE COLOR: It ranges from red orange to dark brown depending on the day..
HAIR COLOR: Black... w/ some small patches of golden brown.
IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD
IT BE: I want The Virus' hair color!!!
ANY SIBLINGS: 2 sisters w/ my mom & 1 brother w/ my dad... it's so confusing w/ divorced parents!
ANY PETS: Luxa & Ogre... the bickering hamsters.
WHAT SCHOOL ARE YOU GOING TO GO TO: The school for stupid lazy people who have nothing to better than poke at their pet hampster w/ a stick.
WHAT/WHO DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE MOST: Right now I'm intrigued by my friend... he knows who he is...
DESCRIBE YOUR PERFECT MAN: Pale, dark hair, dark clothing, & a nice goatee... hahaha...
YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW: The Simpsons.
WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD: Marvin the Martian & he's purple cuz I accidentally left my freezey pop on him & forgot about it...
WOULD YOU EVER JOIN THE MILITARY: Hell no!!! Not that I have anything against them. It's the government itself that I don't like... but no, I'd never join the military & help protect those bastards in Washington. Fuck that! Let them deal with their own goddamn mistakes!
FAVORITE DRINK(NOT ALCOHOLIC): blue Kool-Aid, Surge, & Mountain Dew
FAVORITE BOARD GAME: LIFE, Clue, Scrabble, & Chess.
FAVORITE MAGAZINE: Metal Edge now that they give you those giant posters!
FAVORITE SMELL: Spray paint! But I'm getting accustomed to Old Spice here...
WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD: Stomach flu & these damned springs that are one my braces!!!
BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD: The nice cool breeze than encircles your house after it starts raining & you realize your windows are open.
FAVORITE THINGS TO DO ON WEEKENDS: Well... lately I've just been hanging out w/ my friends every weekend... that's out "special bonding time"... at least if we can come up w/ $20...
FAVORITE SOUND TRACK: The Matrix.
WHAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE
UP IN THE MORNING: Where am I?
DO YOU GET MOTION SICKNESS: Only when I go in horizontal circular paths.
ARE YOU WEARING SOCKS: Same ones I wore yesterday, goddammit!
WHERE YOU WANT TO BE RIGHT NOW: Someplace warmer than my hallway.. perhaps the living room... watching TV... with a bag of chips...
FAVORITE CARTOON: The Simpsons!
FAVORITE CARTOON CHARACTER: ZORAK!
FAVORITE COMIC:Sandman, Dawn, & Lady Death
FAVORITE COMIC CHARACTER: Dream (Sandman). I've always been fond of Rogue (X-Men), but I also like the early Penance (Generation X), Evil Ernie, & Lady Death.
ROLLER COASTERS--DEADLY OR EXCITING: Depends on the roller coaster. Most are exciting. But get on coasters like Shock Wave & Batman (Six Flags Great America) & they're kinda deadly! Especially when you get the privelege of sitting in the seat that they were having problems keeping the harness to stay down!!!
PEN OR PENCIL: Pen! But sometimes you need a pencil... unless you have an erasible pen. Then fuck pencils!!!
HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE: 3 1/2
FUTURE SON'S NAME: Bug
FUTURE DAUGHTER'S NAME: Dammit
FAVORITE FOODS: pretty much anything that comes in a can or box... just as long as it doesn't contain sausage, onion, tomato pieces, mushrooms, or anything green.
DO YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS: What parents? Oh, those ones? Fuck 'em.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A CRIME: One time I was sent to the office for making death threats & I convinced the principal it wasn't me. What a moron.
CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA: Depends on what kind of mood I'm in.
FAVORITE ICE CREAM: Cookies n Cream!
CROUTONS OR BACON BITS: Despite the fact that salads are evil, I like to eat croutons out of the box.
DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE: Yes, but I don't like others driving.
DO YOU SLEEP WITH STUFFED ANIMALS: I sleep with a giant Felix the Cat, a giant Pikachu pillow pal, a bat, & a fluffy bunny.
THUNDERSTORMS--COOL OR SCARY: Cool when you're watching them, but I have a phobia of driving in them.
WHAT TYPE OF CAR WAS/IS GOING TO BE YOUR FIRST CAR: My car is an 87(?) tan Cheverolet Celebrity! & now it has a pretty "got DOPE?" sticker on it!
IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON, WHO WOULD IT BE: Well... I met UU... I met Dope... so... I guess it's down to Nivek Ogre or Al Jourgesen!
FAVORITE MEMORY OF YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS: Walking around Newport News w/ my friend Worm... while wearing my custom Slipknot mask... stealing the shopping cart... & seeing Dope w/ Joel & James!
FAVORITE CANDY: Hershey's Cookies n Cream!
FAVORITE BOOK: A Clockwork Orange & The Rum Diary
FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK: I'm rather fond of that strawberry tequila in the fridge...
WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN: A black wife beater & my glow in the dark Nightmare Before Christmas shorts!
WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN: Aquarius.
WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE POET: Nivek Ogre.
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR: Driving in storms, waking up & seeing people standing over me, & certain insects like centipedes, earwigs, & locusts.
DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI: Brocolli is green...
WOULD YOU EVER ASK A GUY FOR HIS SHIRT: You never ASK. You just take!
IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED, WHAT WOULD
IT BE: One day you will see me on a Hollywood set designing props for horror films...
THING YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE: Simon Dope. Er... okay, forget that thought... I'd really like to see Ministry... wherever they are right now...
ONE THING YOU WANT TO TELL THE WORLD: For CHRIST'S sake!!!! Just because I have an email address of L_D_50@hotmail.com does NOT label me as a Mudvayne freak!!!! I like Mudvayne, but the address is from the label on the door of the operating room in the Skinny Puppy video "Testure"! Do some fucking research, people!!!!
WHO KNOWS THE MOST ABOUT YOU: Worm! (poor soul....)
LAST MOVIE YOU SAW: I recall watching Clue over the weekend...
IF YOU COULD HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT AND WHERE WOULD
IT BE: I want to get a tribal ankh on my arm but I also want a Skinny Puppy logo on my back.
FAVORITE PLACE TO HANG OUT: THE CAMPER.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE: When am I not? It's always someone... dammit... I hate having emotions. (poor Joel...)
COFFEE OR HOT CHOCOLATE: Capuccino, actually... but hot cocoa is also nice.
WHAT IS ON THE WALLS OF YOUR ROOM: Many many MANY posters which are mainly of Dope, UU, & Static-X... at least until I get some Ministry subway posters for my ceiling!
EATEN AN ENTIRE BOX OF OREOS: I keep an entire box in my room next to my bed!!!
IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL: If liquid was added it'd be half full. If the liquid was removed it would be half empty... think about it.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SNAPPLE: I like the Rain flavored Snapple Elements... but I haven't been drinking those lately cuz I'm obsessed w/ Sobe "Lizard Fuel".
FAVORITE MOVIE: Beetlejuice, A.I. (don't hit me!!!), Snatch, Evil Dead 2, & Dogma.
ARE YOU A RIGHTY, LEFTY, OR AMBIDEXTROUS:
Ambidextrous.
DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS: Sometimes...
WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED: Dead bodies... and extra blankets.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER: 8 & 13.
DONE DRUGS: *sniff* My... my friends turned me into a pothead... now I can't go a week w/o at least getting an 1/8! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!
SCARIEST THING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU: Simon Dope told me that he'd think of me the next time he jacked off... that's pretty scary.
GONE A EXTENDED PERIOD OF TIME WITH OUT SHAVING:
Only in the winter.
WHAT IS YOUR DREAM CAR: The REAL South Texas Deathride... w/ a fucking engine!!!!!Either that or the ZZ Top car... oh the possibilities...
FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH: Celebrity Deathmatch.
WHERE DO YOU WANT TO LIVE: Anywhere but here.
WHAT IS THE LAST CD YOU BOUGHT: Dope-"Life".
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF COWS: Good for alien attacks.
IS THE SKY FALLING: NO, we're rising.
FAVORITE FAST FOOD: Burger King.
WHAT WAS THE BEST PART OF HIGH SCHOOL: So far it's when I cursed out the lunch lady & when I took a bunch of toilet paper, wet it in the sink, & threw it on the ceiling in the hallway. Hahahaha...
WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU WILL BE REMEMBERED FOR: My severe mental problems & unhealthy obsessions for musicians... (sorry Simon!)
DO YOU LIKE FISH: No cuz all they do is fucking die!!! DAMN YOU WAL-MART!
WHERE DO YOU WORK: Here. (even though I don't get paid!)
FAVORITE QUOTE: "I'm sticking pins & needles in the stinging rotten flesh like substitute pieces of half cooked meat." (I had a Skinny Puppy song stuck in my head & couldn't think of anything else!)
CAN YOU COOK: If it comes in a can or box & cooking instructions are included!
FAVORITE BAND:
MINISTRY!!!! But I must acknowledge Skinny Puppy (& ohGr & cEvin Key!!!), UU, Dope, Static-X, Alice in Chains, Kittie, The Deadlights, Amen, Crossbreed, Nevermore, Mudvayne, Slipknot, Cradle of Filth, Nine Inch Nails, Professional Murder Music, OTEP... and I'll just stop at that cuz it keeps on going.
FAVORITE SONG: ... damn you... um.... Ministry's live version of "Stigmata" & the live version of "So What"... "Tin Omen" & "Killing Game" by Skinny Puppy... "Lusid" and everything else on Welt by ohGr... "Bitter" by UU, basically everything by Dope except their covers of "You Spin Me Round" & "New Jack Hustler"... oh yes... and "Move It"... that song drive me insane!, "Structural Defect" by Static-X, "Do You Think I'm a Whore?" by Kittie... I'll stop there.
FAVORITE ALBUM: Grr.... Ministry's "The Mind is a Terrible Thing to Taste" & "The Land of Rape & Honey". Skinny Puppy's "VivisectVI" & "Rabies". Dope's "Felons & Revolutionaries" & "Life". UU's "...An Education in Rebellion", & Cradle of Filth's "Dusk & Her Embrace" & "The Principle of Evil Made Flesh"
Welp, that's all the questions I could scrape up. So... yeah...
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